Hi Mamas,
Our 14 year old grand son is living with us for several months. He has adhd, was on medication until he was about 11. He thinks outloud, beats his hands on the table, makes lots of different sounds with his voice, sings off key, loudly, taps the table, thumps his feet, you name it. While I am very happy he is a happy person, my fibromyalgia symptom of sensitivity to sound makes having him around really difficult. I would love to hear ideas about how to minimize this. It seems to me to be a part of his adhd. But he needs to learn how to manage this on his own without continual reminders from me. Anybody have some ideas for me that worked for you? I would be ever so grateful.
I'm very grateful to all of you for your input. We decided on trying more excercise first. I really think this will be the answer. FYI his medication was stopped in 7th grade and he said his head felt less "cloudy" and he found his school work improved. An IEP helped immensely too. Again, thanks for taking the time to help me out. Your thoughts helped me out a lot.
My Daughter has ADHD and acts that way before she has taken her medication. She feels better on her medication too. Talk to his doctor about medication.
Best of luck,
Lenci
Unfortunately, it is the ADHD. Asking him to learn to manage his symptoms would be like him asking you to manage your sensitivity to sound. ADHD is not simply a behavior problem, but a nuerological disorder. Researchers are finding that ADHD brains are "wired differently" and may have lower levels of certain chemicals. I do agree with the suggestion of more physical activity- it may help with the hyperactivity.
Unfortunately, all the reminders in the world won't get him to stop. He can't learn to manage it on his own because he's not doing the behavior intentionally. Without medication, our son is just like that. It's definitely part of the ADHD.
Just curious why he went off of medication?
Feel your pain - literally. I have chronic pain and am very sensitive to noise. My husband and kids all have varying degrees of ADHD and tend to get very loud. We've all talked about it honestly and I've tried to give them examples of things that make them crazy (nails on a chalkboard and the like) so they can relate. Then we've agreed on some hand signals that I use rather than nagging verbally. They try, but even then sometimes I just have to say "I'm sorry, I'm going to my room - or "I'm sorry you all have to go to the other room while I finish dinner."
I have an ADHD son and exercise is a MUST for us. I even took up jogging (which is not my "thing") just to help him burn off steam. It's helped both of us alot, plus we have bonding time. Do you have someone nearby that works out/runs that he could go with? How about a high school athlete that lives nearby? I think this would help him tremendously.
Caffeine & Earplugs.
Caffeine for him to mellow out
Earplugs for you (drummers earplugs allow CLARITY of sound, just turn the volume down).
I was tapping my feet while I was reading this, good luck
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Wait, you are a clown, err, child entertainer, yet his tapping and moving his hands, sounds, are more than you can take?
Ya sure there isn't some other issue in play here?
I have a nephew living with me, age 20, who went off his meds in the past year. I was just recommended to read this book: Driven To Distraction. I have it on hold at the library and will be getting it soon. Maybe it can help.
Everyone feels that medication helps kids with adhd, but there are safe alternatives instead. Exercise is a great one, along with watching his food, eliminating food dyes and colors (especially red, yellow), preservatives, sugar, pop, fruit juices (high fructose corn syrup) and most things with caffeine (overboard on stimulation). You might be surprised at some of the changes when these things are eliminated.
Maybe while he's sitting at the table, have him use a hand held game, DS nintendo, etc, to keep both his mind and hands busy. Maybe even have him help you get dinner ready, wash dishes, etc, keeping his mind on a new task, as the thumping is a bored, need to do something response.
Thank God he is such a happy person, so please, keep reinforcing all his positives.
My daughter has noise reduction earbuds (used for mp3 players, etc), under $5, which might be another thought for you during the day. They really help to shut out loud noises and are small enough not to be uncomfortable. She wears them while I watch television at nite, being older I need to have the volume up sort of loud. This makes it quieter for her.
Maybe we should just switch kids?
I suggest that he needs to be on medication. As others have said this is part of being ADHD. Medication may not help but it might be worth a try.
My grandson has ADHD and also Aspergers. He can be sympathetic for a short period of time and stop his noise but he soon forgets and is at it again. His folks send him to his room to play. He leaves the door open and oddly enough when he's by himself his activity quiets down. He plays with his Beyblades and Megablocks.
