ADD Testing???

Actually, a true ADDer CAN sit still for certain things-its called hyperfocusing. My ADHD hubby and daughter can play video games or be on their tablets for HOURS. It's very common. If you and his teacher are concerned, talk to his pedi. Our testing also involved questionnaires for us and the teacher. For our daughter, it was a clear diagnosis at 6-no doubt in our minds. After she was diagnosed, we realized that she behaved EXACTLY like my husband, so he talked to his GP and went to a psychiatrist.

Our 4 year old was tested last summer. We were referred to a child, behavioral psychologist by our ped. We filled out a questionnaire (parent), and his PreK teacher (teacher) filled out another one. We brought these to our first visit. The doctor met with us and with our son (separately, but we could hear what was going on) and took notes. He did this again a week later, then discussed his observations. A week or two later his report arrived in the mail. My guess is that the amount of visits and number of "tests" would depend in part on the doctor and on the child.

Our son was not diagnosed with ADHD at this time, but his doctor did note that it could manifest itself at a later date.

Much of what you mentioned is actually age appropriate. It's hard for boys at that age to focus for long periods of time. It's totally normal for them to kind of let go and be themselves at home where they feel safe. I think what you're seeing at home sounds pretty normal.

It sounds like his teacher is seeing something outside the ordinary, so it's definitely worth exploring. Our sone received a diagnosis of Social (Pragmatic) Communicative Disorder. Never heard do it before, but the description fits him to a tee! And the good news for us is that his speech teacher had some great ideas for him and he's really making progress. That was a huge relief for us.

Hello:
Regarding your son only melting down with the parent. YES, this is normal. Kids with or without ADHD can often "hold it together" emotionally at school and then just let it all hang out when they get home. This is a good thing as you don't want him throwing chairs at the teacher or blowing up at the kids :-). He has enough control to try to follow the rules as much as he can until he is alone with someone who actually cares about him....and then he can vent. Imagine wanting to focus and not being able to do so....Imagine constantly being told what to do every step of the way, Imagine people constantly getting frustrated with you.......It's very belittling and kids get tired of that just like adults do.

My little girl (age 6) has had notes like that sent home very often. Over the Christmas holiday we replaced her Hi C juice boxs with fruitables juice boxes with and we saw an "amazing difference". The Hi C has high fructose corn syrup and the fruitables have all natural ingredients (fruits and vegetables). It was a last ditch effort and it worked so we are continuing the trend by avoiding foods that contain food color and other additives which can either cause or aggrivate ADHD symptoms.

Best to you,
C.

I can't really address the ADD aspect of your question, but it is not unusual for young kids to meltdown after they get home from school (to their "safe" environment, where they know they will not be rejected for falling apart or yelling or whatever). Did he do this in kindergarten? And did he go for a full day then? In other words... has his school day length changed, or has it become much more challenging (some kindergarten and preschool classes are less rigid than others, and it can be a huge change from those to first grade). Or, is your son still in kindergarten... ? (Just based on his age, he could be in kinder rather than first grade... just realized that).

I know my son would be at his worst in the first 45 minutes after he was picked up from school around that age. I actually pulled the car off to the side of the road once. Just once... ;)
But I had to learn coping skills to help HIM learn to cope and manage the post-school time "let down". Different things work for different kids...

If you are talking about meltdowns at other times of the day, I'd say that could or could not be "normal"... you don't say if it is new behavior, or just something ongoing that he hasn't stopped yet.

He could have ADD or it could just be age appropriate. There is an age range of appropriate behaviors & learning abilities. Just because some kids can do something at the younger age, doesn't mean that any kid that hasn't or can't do it, is behind. It's called a RANGE for a reason.

Yep, ADHDers can focus ALL day long on something that interests THEM. And they won't want to stop. EVER. Also meltdowns are pretty common for ADHDers, due to all the daily frustrations that build up & then once home, one little thing & they will blow. They've saved up a lot of pain & anger for where they feel safe & loved. Look at it this way, he feels safe & loved, you are doing your job!

For us, the testing involved a questionnaire that the parents & the teacher filled out. We did eventually go to meds for myself & 2 of our daughters, but pills aren't the cure all, more of an aid. Without daily exercise, consistent routines, a healthy diet (eliminate artificial dyes, flavors & sweeteners) & making sure that they get enough sleep, they still had issues with focus, anger & meltdowns. And they were going through puberty. And I was going through menopause. Oh Joy.

My youngest daughter has had wonderful teachers who "modified" the classroom for her (& others). Letting the students sit on a big yoga ball, so they could wiggle around, etc. And when she was in 2nd Grade & REALLY wiggly & talky, her teacher let her sit at the back of the class & anytime she felt the need to move, my daughter would get up & do the splits or stretch, etc. But she had to do it QUIETLY. How I LOVED that teacher!

My daughter had spent ALL of 1st Grade in DETENTION for talking & not sitting still. She would get up & try to help her classmates with their work, because she was way ahead of them. And then she would be sent to detention during every recess. Where she had to sit still & not talk. She was 6! Yeah, we changed schools. And she didn't need any meds for the ADHD until she was closer to puberty & the emotional roller coaster became overwhelming.

Maybe ask your husband to help you teach your son the different coping skills that HE is using to manage his ADD. Everyone is different, but chances are, your husband is the best teacher for your boy on this subject. Good Luck!

A true ADD child cannot sit for the things he enjoys doing. So it sounds like he does fine on a tablet and playing with trains. I think his behavior is very normal for a boy his age.

Start with the pediatrician when bringing up your concerns but have a specialist like a child psychiatrist do the evaluation. Specialists are in the best position to give an accurate diagnosis and provide treatment advice. They can say with certainty whether it's ADHD-inattentive type or just typical. They deal with ADHD day in and day out and can give you the specialized expertise you need.

You will likely have a ton of forms to fill out yourself and to give to the teacher to fill out, as well. You'll also have lengthy discussions with the specialist about what you've experienced. I recommend writing down your key points before you get there so you don't forget any examples that highlight the problems you're seeing. Don't be surprised if it all takes multiple appointments to get answers. It's really a myth that doctors are quick to diagnose ADHD. It's a very thoughtful, deliberate process, like any medical evaluation.

ADHD is highly genetic, so the fact that your husband has it will help you get taken seriously.

As others experienced with ADHD have noted, hyperfocusing with favorite activities is part of ADHD. You can't communicate with our son when he's on video games. His problems are with the 99% of the rest of the day that doesn't interest him as much.

Meltdowns are definitely common at that age, but can be more extreme in kids with ADHD. I have a 10-year-old with severe ADHD-combined type (with hyperactivity) and a 7-year-old who's neurotypical and both have been known to have meltdowns. The one with ADHD just takes it up by about 100 notches in how extreme a meltdown.

Good luck! Hope you're able to get some answers and solutions soon.