ADD And School Please Help

What you have described is the very thing I'm afraid of for my son when he starts school. While he was in a daycare center, the teachers observed that he showed many symptoms consistent with ADHD. We all were aware that he's much too young to diagnose but were concerned by his level of activity and his aggression. After conversations w/ his Pediatrician, we learned that he may have Sensory Integration issues. He was evaluated by an Occupational Therapist who confirmed this suspicion. Then, every thing started to make sense... all of our frustrations... all of his "quirks" since the day he was born... it all fell into place. I only wish parents had this information readily available much earlier so they knew that it just didn't have to be so hard.

Anyway, we started with therapy and he showed huge & immediate improvement - NO MEDICINE! He has fun and he's a much happier child for it. When we took him out of a daycare center and put him in home daycare, he became a different child. He loved the center, his friends, and his teachers, but it just wasn't a good fit for him. In a perfect world, I would just stay home with him. For now, I've found a darn good solution with him in home daycare. His speech is more clear, his words are bigger, and his sentences are longer. In addition, there is almost no more aggression. Far fewer tantrums and outburts (he is only 3 :>).

We will also begin looking into diet modification / nutritional supplements. That suggestion has come up too many times in my searches to ignore.

When he does go to school, I'm hoping to find a good Montessori school for him. From the initial information I have received, that environment tends to be more mobile (less confined to a desk & chair). He's a very bright boy and this will let him progress at his own pace. I believe children who are ahead or behind the curve in comparison to the rest of the class are more likely to act out due to boredom or frustration. I also really like the fact that they have their own clearly defined individual space to work in (rug). My son tends to require more personal space when he's around non-family members. Of course, the class is only as good as the teacher. But in this environment, I really get the sense that they are much more adaptible to the individual child's needs. It appears to be passive involvement from the teacher, but upon understanding the goals of this style of teaching, it really does require much more from the teacher in terms of preparation and attention to each child.

Although I have not yet read it (I plan to), I have heard of wonderful results based on the book The ADD Answer by Dr. Lawlis - http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2001/11/07/earlyshow/healt....

Hopefully some of these suggestions will help. Most importantly know that you are not alone. Many of us are struggling with these same issues (or soon will be). Asking questions and sharing your experiences will help us all.

Thanks,
P.

Sorry I don't have any advise for you. I wanted to thank you for not giving in to the system. You know what is best for your son. I agree that meds are not right for everyone, thanks for not giving in and getting him the meds. Stay strong and continue to fight for what you know is right..Good luck and i'll be thinking of you.

I am a mom to two girls. One is 5 and the other is 1 1/2. I had a brother with ADD and he took meds. I think that you are totally right to keep him off meds. My personal oppion is that all kids learn differently and it sounds like the way his teacher teaches isn't the best for him. I think they should have classes specific to the needs of the childs learning style. Of course that would be difficult and expensive but necessary.

Hi J.. This sounds so frustrating! My husband had ADD as a child, and after they put him on Ritalin, he had a terrible reaction and they took him off drugs. He is very smart, but really struggled to do well in school. If you live in Fort Collins, there are some really good public schools that are different from the "normal" schools. The Lab School is really great in that it is child focused education, which is good for kids who get sidetracked. There are also some really good private schools, both religious and secular, that you might want to check out. Meds aren't all bad for all children, my husband just didn't have luck with it. I would suggest getting in touch with some sort of outside support that you can afford. CSU has a great program throught the department for Human Development and Family studies. They also offer a sliding fee schedule. I agree, negatives are so hard to take. It just starts a negative feedback loop "oh, I'm a bad kid, I guess I will act like a bad kid". Very best of luck to you.

Hi J.,
My son has been diagnosed with ADHD, It has been a nightmare experiance with meds, He was put on meds in the Second Grade, I took him off last summer, I wished I never put him on them, they worked at first but turned into a nightmare, (long story but believe me, sooo sad) I talked to his 6th grade teacher and told her he is ADHD and Not on meds, Deal with it, (but I was really nice about it) We bothe work really hard to help my son so he doesnt have to be medicated OR loose self esteme,

One of the things I strongly recomend is going to a DR. get a proper diag. and get your son on an (I believe its called) IEP or 504, which enables the child to have a different approach to being taught that the Teachers have to comply with (and it lasts through all there schooling including College). It allows my son to have longer test times, less questions, less reading, etc. So that his grades dont suffer, and neither does his self esteme, I am with you, Children are Children, our kids are who they are and I dont want to medicate my child just so he's easier for someone else to deal with, I understand that the Teacher has a ton of kids to teach, and not enough help so as a mother (and single parent) I work excepionally hard to help him, he doesnt get all his learning from school and is done by the end of the school day like some kids, his learning continues with me after, but only for a set amount of time (but not really because I'm always trying to find fun, tricky ways to keep him learning thats not obvious, like having him read me the funnies in the sunday morning news paper, its "us" time, he's getting in some reading and he doesnt even know it) . I'm also a Love & Logic parent which, for us, has helped with my sons ADHD, Anyone who learns about ADHD learns that you have to be consistant, have tons of structure and hold the child accountable for there actions, well to hold my son accountable for his actions in the beggining was so hard for me because he was so out of controll with his actions, it was like he would go into a seizure like state of mind where I could tell he was "out of it" and acting up, I couldnt talk to him because it was like his conciousness and ability to reason was gone. I had to wait it out, then he'd snap back to reality and I would punnish, DIDNT WORK for me. Love and logics has helped sooo much to teach me how to hold him accountable with out making him feel bad about him self, there is a difference between him feeling pain from his actions and choices and destroying his self image. I've noticed that technique works wonderful with his ADHD. http://www.loveandlogic.com
Good luck to you and your sweet little one.

I hear your pain.
I would recommend homeschooling again. I don't want to be negative towards schools. But the reality is if your child isn't middle of the road they will get lost along the way in a public school setting. I am sure there are some good ones out there, but they are few and far between. They are not trained to deal with children with add or adhd that is why they turn to medication. I am not a believer in Medicine simply because there hasn't been enough research on the long term effects that it can occur.

If it was me I would tell the teacher all I hear is negative I want to hear something positive. "What can we do other than medicine to positive reinforce his joy towards learning again?" IF you get no response than you will know for sure that this isn't about your son at all it is about making her day easier.

Nothing is hopeless and you can't give in because that is what they want you to do. That is why they focus on the negative. You should do what is best for your son and not everybody else. You are his legal representation not the school. Follow your heart and don't let anybody else tell you otherwise.

Hope this helps, C.

I just thought you might find it interesting that the Utah Legislature is currently debating a proposed "Ritalin Bill," that will prohibit teachers from requiring their students to be medicated. Here is a link with more info:
http://www.sltrib.com/education/ci_###-###-####

I understand what you are going through, I have also been told by teachers that my son needs to be medicated. There are many natural things that you can give your child to help him. Tree bark extract is one. you can get it in a pill form and a liquid form, although it is hard to find in the liquid. My mother found it online for me. Good luck

Hi J.,

I am an elementary school teacher with 11 years of experience. Your son's teacher should not be recommending meds... that is your doctor's job! In my experience, almost all kids with attention difficulties can be attributed to: not enough sleep (9 year olds still need something like 10 hours of sleep); too much sugar and/or refined flour in the diet; and/or not enough physical activity. If none of these 3 situations are true for your son, then maybe you do want to talk to your pediatrician. He or she can give you a home evaluation and a school evaluation to fill out. I would also highly recommend looking into nutritional supplements. I forget which ones, but there are some that I've heard will help. If you go to a place like Vitamin Shoppe, the staff there can help you out.
Good luck!
P.

Hello! I am a special education student at metro so I am learning a lot about ADD. One thing I know is that medication is not an easy answer. There are side effects to medication and it is not effective for all children. Medication should be a last resort and not the easy way out. It sounds to me like you have a bad teacher. Your child should not have to be on medication just because his teacher is ineffective and cannot manage her classroom. The real issue however is that she has NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER to suggest medication to you. It is ILLEGAL for her to do so. She is not a dr or specially trained at all to know what kind of medical treatment is appropriate for your child. It really is illegal for her to suggest any type of medical treatment to you. I would talk to administration about it and see what could be done to get your child in another class. It is reckless for her to make suggestions about a child's medical care and it could be dangerous. She could harm someone by giving them medical advise when she has no medical training. Good luck! I wish you and your son well.

Our son is 4.5 yrs old and has been on an IEP w/District 11 at Columbia Elementary School for their Head Start Pre-School program. Since he started there he has shown leaps and bounds. I at first struggled with the idea of an IEP and it's stigma, but I have relaxed on that since I can see he is benefitting from the extra help. We have been told several times that he may be ADD or ADHD and I refuse to believe that as I know him better than his peditrician who would see him 15 minutes at a time. We enrolled in the Love and Logic class (fabulous) and were informed about Child Find and that's how we got hooked up with the Head Start/IEP situation. It remains to be seen whether he will have the diagnosis of ADHD, which I have been told cannot not be formally diagnosed until about 6-7 yrs old, and if he is diagnosed, my hope is we will all learn how to help him deal with his learning style.

Through my research though, I came across something else that also gets mis-diagnosed as ADD/ADHD and it is called Central Auditory Processing Disorder. Something to look into and possibly have him tested for as well.

I think the bottom line is that you are advocating for you child to receive the best possible education and treatment of which he is entitle to. This teacher does not sound like she is a good fit. You are not a mean or bad person to advocate for your child. There are a lot of really difficult decisions to make while raising a child and this will probably be in the top five. You know in your heart was is best for him. Stand strong and be informed of his and your options. Good luck to you!

Hi there. My daughter is four and has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is not on medications. She is in State's custody because I am a disabled war vet and they think that I can't take care of my child because of my disabilities. I know how hard it is to take care of a child that gets out of control. My daughter can't even go to daycare because she is extremely aggressive. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in high school. It was very trying. But he wasn't dealing with that issue at all but something else. I was given meds when I was a teen as well for depression and was later taken off of it by my next foster family and they found out I was fine without it. So I can understand why you don't want to give him meds. People these days just want things to be easy and they are not. If you would like to contact me I am in a group for disabilities with children. They also discuss children with mental health problems. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/P2P-CO/

Dear J.,

I know how you feel. Except it's with myself. I had a couple of doctors that tried to get me medicated and I didn't want to. I tried being on medication and it made me sick all the time. I finally found a therapist that helped me work through my struggles. She taught me about organization and how to make things fun when I'm stuck listening to a teacher read out of a book. She had me take notes, but draw little icons in my notes to help me remember what the teacher was lecturing on. She also suggested that when I get stuck in a classes where the teacher will not consider my needs that I should get a tutor that would work with me individually. I only needed a tutor once. I went to college for Architecture and struggled with a bad learning disability, and problems concentrating. I found that when I had a more ridged plan in place for each day, and goals set each week and year, I did much better in school. Good luck, I hope this helps. Medication doesn't have to be the answer.

Don't give up! I am a teacher and your son needs a more Kinesthetic approach (this means movement and more hands on). The teacher can do this on her own to "differentiate". She should know what that means. It is a big buzz word in the educational community. Public Law 94-142 states that EVERY child is entitled to a FREE, APPROPRIATE, PUBLIC EDUCATION! Keep on going and don't give in to the meds. I do not agree with them either. Good luck and I hope that this gives you some hope. Not all kids can sit still in the classroom because we all learn differently.

Hello,
Jumping here if I can. I have had “ADD” all my life my mom put me on so many meds I didn't know if I was coming or going. I liked the fact they helped me sit through the teacher’s long speeches and I wanted to do good for my mom however I hated how they made me feel. So when I was told my son had ADD and I should get him some meds I put my foot down. No meds! No drugs! No altering the person my son is. I searched for anything that could help him. I found out lots of things! Like sugar the number one enemy! It is in places you don't even think about like ketchup. Schools give candy as a reward for everything and then yell that the kids can’t sit still and do their work. Lots of teachers (not all but most) tell you that candy is the only object the kids want and will work for but I beg to differ. A few years ago I started getting my kids rewards to receive at school. I would get dollar store toys, cracker packs, anything without a lot of sugar. Then I would bring them to the teacher for her to give only my child when he deserved a reward. I was surprised when my son told me that the teacher had stopped giving candy out and had gotten toys from the dollar store. At the end of the year I got an award from the school for helping kick the candy use. After my son and his class started to show improvement other teachers wanted to know how to do it as well.

Taking sugar totally away is not the answer ether. Changing the sugar we intake is a better way. Like bananas they have sugar but they also have lots potassium which mellows out the reaction of the sugar. There are lots of ways to slow you son down with what he eats. I have added a few links to sites that do a much better job of explaining this idea. I wish you the best and I wish your son a cure!

www.all-natural.com/add.html
In 1996 the World Health Organization warned that Ritalin® over-use has reached dangerous proportions. Hopefully, by being armed with correct information, you may be able to avoid using Ritalin® or other similar medications. Use of these drugs on a long-term basis is questionable. Safety of such long-term use is simply unknown, but many dangerous side effects have been increasingly observed. Ritalin®, for instance, may provoke seizures and suppress growth, or it may cause angina, blood pressure changes, depression or any of a very long list of serious side effects.

http://borntoexplore.org/allergies.htm
This one explains how allergies can cause ADD
http://www.chadd.org
This one is a great site for anyone with ADD it tells all about it!
The best thing you can do for your son is be informed!
Best of luck
M.

hi, i don't know where you live but my son goes to a fantastic charter school out in calhan. if you have the chance to check them out they are on line. The name is Frontier Charter Academy www.frontiercharter.org My son has similar needs to yours and has juct blossomed. Again depending on where you live car pool may be available

#1 issue I see here is it appears the teacher is practicing medicine without a license!!!!

When my son was 3, now almost 7, his teachers discussed concerns with me regarding Sensory Integration Dysfunction(SID)---similar to ADD but modification of his environment geared towards senses improves his behavior (see spdnetwork.org or out-of-sync.com, if you want to know more). I went through Child Find and had him evaluated but also got a second opinion with our pediatrician. Long story short, there are 12 pediatricians in the practice and they meet weekly to discuss ADHD/ADD cases. On the particular day they discussed my son, 8 pediatricians were there and they all agreed he would benefit from Ritalin. The hardest decision I have ever made in my life was to choose to medicate my son! We put him on Ritalin but he was a fast metabolizer of it and we tried Staterra (I liked my son on this med) but unbeknowst to me, while he was on the Staterra he had a raging ear infection---made him seem like he was hallucinating when he was really weirding out because of the ear infection. Our pediatrician noted my concern and was great because my son hadn't been on the meds so long to be weaned off and the doc said "Let's just take a break." (from the meds) and we did. Around the same time we did, my son got a new special ed team at school and a new OT that identified with his needs personally. We haven't been on meds since and every day presents new challenges in dealing with his SID. The bottom line---My teachers have NEVER made recommendations in treatment that were outside their scope of professional training! If you can, I would recommend objective testing to present to the teacher supporting your goals for your son because when I have needed it the teachers don't question me as much and what I am trying to do.

Best Wishes---Keep us posted.

J. I have a very active and stong willed child whom has been diagnosised with a mild case of adhd and in Texas they were wanting me to put her on meds .. Here at here School in Junction they are actually working with us to come up with away to help her control one way is a stress ball when he feels the urge to blurt out get up and run around have him squeeze the ball or better yet as a reward go to the Texas road house and get a token for a free kids meal and use that as a stress ball when he gets the urge have him hold on to the wooden coin and if he can make it all week with out getting into trouble you will take him out to eat if it is within your budget ...It is frustrating and rewarding and you can try to be creative if you need any mor help I will be willing to help bounce ideas around... D.