8 Yr Olds Behavior

I agree w/the other moms....he's asking for help so you should give it to him. Most kids 'ask' for help in ohter ways liek acting out or stealing etc, but your son is actually asking for help so make good on it & find someone. Ask your ped. for a refferal if you want to go thru your health insurance or ask the school pyschologist. At 8 years old, your sonm is too old for tantrums. Don't give in to him when he says he's a mostner & needs help. We have 6.5 year old son hwo has quite a temper & will say the same sort of things after he acts out, "I'm a bad kid," "I'm a mean kid," etc, but I don't agree w/him. I just tell him he's a great kid who gets angry sometimes. So, for the past 3-4 months he's been seeing a therapist. I think it's really helped him to have an objective person to talk to. His teachers noticed a difference in his anger management & over all self control by the end of the year & I feel that's a direct result of the therapy. So, please get your son the help he's asking for. Good luck!

Dear S.,

He can't help himself, something is terribly wrong, and you both need to take him to his regular doctor, and when the doctor tells you that it is normal, and not to worry about it, then tell him that you two (right there in the room, supporting your child and each other) need to ask the doctor what is the next step in finding out exactly what is happening to your son.

I'll tell you for sure that the school psychologist can help, and can guide you , but he or she is not the answer to this problem.

Please help him, he is a darling sensitive deeply feeling boy, and needs you two to stand beside him and find help for him. Stop taking things away from him. And stop thinking that he can control this by himself. Good Grief!! He is only 8. You need to get to professional help before he begins puberty.

I hope that you take this advice seriously. If I am wrong, I would be extremely surprised. I have been the victim of adults who were not helped when they were children. It is not fun for them or for the people that have to deal with them later in their lives.

Also, go online to Amazon.com and find a book called "Real Boys". It is a great book, everything in it will not be relevant to your son, but it will give you an insight into real boys - one of which, was your husband long ago. He probably will be touched by this book also. I saw the author interviewed on Oprah about 2 years ago, and he is a very serious, loving man who has counseled real boys for many years. Boys are not girls.

Most sincerely, C. N.

Sounds like your son could benefit from seeing a therapist. These emotional break outs are coming from somewhere. It could be a small problem but it can also be a serious problem. I suggest you get him to see someone soon.

I know children can be manipulative, but an 8 year old saying these things should call for seeing a therapist, psychologist, etc. Also, he might be effected by some kind of cycle.

I know how easy it is to feel sorry for them when they start talking like that (my younger son tries that too). You have to remember that just because it's the easier thing to do now doesn't mean it's the best thing to be teaching him for the long term. If you coddle him when he talks like that you are actually reinforcing his ideas that he is a monster. You need to tell him firmly that HE isn't a monster but that the behavior he is exhibiting is unacceptable.

You also might want to actually consider taking him to see a counselor...it's what he keeps asking for AND it could make a world of difference. A counselor would be able to be objective (which you really can't do as a parent no matter how hard you try) and perhaps they could find out why he keeps having rage episodes. If he keeps trying to do things that could severly injure him (getting out of a moving car) one day he might actually succeed.

Best wishes!

S., You need help - professional help. Actually, your son does. Don't ignore this and don't try to rememdy it by punishing him. There is something seriously wrong with this type of behavior - it needs to be diagnosed and treated. I think the best thing you can do for the "light of your life" is remember he is a child and he needs your help! Talk to the school counselor if you need a recommendation for some professional mental health referrals. Or contact your insurance company. Don't wait - take care of it today! Good luck. He is counting on YOU. Hugs!