8 Yr Old and a Tough School Year

Find out exactly what is wrong.
Is it her teaching? Is he too advanced for her class? Is it bullying?
Document everything that you have tried with dates.
Sit in on the calss if you have to.
If there really is a situation that needs to be corrected got the the principal again.
If she doesn't work with you go to the Superintendant's office.
Be very matter of fact and when you do go wear something "businesslike", nice pants, a blouse.

some years are like that unfortunately. You are in a rock in a hard place. Try to pick your battles and understand the teachers side when you can.

Do your best to volunteer at school and help out your child's teacher in particular. When possible be where you can hear what is going on. Do your best to understand the teacher and befriend her a bit. It's sad to say, but truly it is human nature.......if the teacher likes and knows you she will probably be a little kinder to your child. You don't want to fight her, but you don't have to buy into everything she says either. Maybe you can gently give her tips on what you think will work well with your child. Most teachers respect their mom's giving them ideas on how to deal with their children.

Does your son hate school because he is bored academically or because he is getting in trouble, or because of social issues?

You are walking a tight rope. You don't want to step in so much that the teacher can't do her job, and you don't want to over rescue your child....you want your son to learn how to deal with all sorts of people. HOWEVER, if you feel the teacher is hurting your child's self-esteem then you need to step in. A bad academic year is one thing, but it is hard to recover from someone squashing your self esteem. Always talk to the teacher first, trying your best to be fair while concerned. But don't be afraid to ask the principal into it if you feel you need to.

I went through this with my daughter last year, at exactly this time. There were a lot of factors involved: I was not impressed with the teacher either. She was not a good match for my daughter (the principal approached me at the end of the year and said as much). My daughter was bored to tears because like your son, she is also very advanced for her age. I think a different teacher could have dealt with that despite the course material. She was placed with a terrific teacher this year who can see her strengths and capitalize on them.

The other thing is, at this age they start to do a lot of testing, which is also very tedious and boring. Can't blame the kids for those feelings, and frankly the teachers hate it too.

My daughter started acting out on purpose and getting in trouble—which is so NOT her! After making several attempts with that teacher to spark my daughter with something challenging, I had to give up and just ask my daughter to give it until mid-March when testing was over and conferences were due. I told her I would reapproach the teacher then. By the time that came, she decided she could hang on another couple of months and just suck it up.

I just held my breathe after a while and was happy to see June come. Unfortunately, it happens and we won't always be so lucky to have a great match as we do this year!

Good luck...

Hi J.,
If I was you I would meet with the teacher, ask to come to class one day of the week, you are allowed to audit a class. See how she teaches as well as what your impression of her is and take both into consideration. My oldest child, had good teachers and some not so good! But I always tried to help him, and let him see that every teacher is different. He always did good in his classwork and tests, so I never requested to change his classroom. I do have another son, that I had to ask the teacher to keep an eye on him and if he was done with the classwork before the other kids (as often the case) to please have harder worksheets for him to challenge him. It worked. It doesn't always means that because they are advanced they can go into the gifted and talented, it all depends on the results of an IQ test they give them. My son, although he was in the gifted and talented at a different school, didn't make it in his new school, but yet was more advanced in class than other kids. Having said all that, please don't give up, just let him know that you love him and that you'll help him in anything he needs. But please do meet with his teacher and get a feel of what she thinks and how she teaches. Other than that, the only thing better than all I've said is to pray! pray for him and pray for his teacher! I hope this helps.
I.

Hi J.,

You know your kid better than anyone, and if you see that he is not comfortable in the class or with the teacher that doesn't mean always your kid is the problem. Many times our kids try to say something to us, and we don't listen. You know him, and I imagine you have also met the teacher and know her. It would be a good idea that you ask the teacher permission to be yourself present in the class at different hours (even when kids and teachers will try to behave at their best to impress), but it still will help to know better how the class develop at some point. After that, ask to your child what exactly is bothering him that he "hates school". If it is the teacher he does not feel comfortable with, talk to the teacher, find out what may be the problem, or ask her if your kid may be moved to another classroom. You also may want to talk to the principal because they CAN move the child to another classroom,...oh yeah....they do, I've been there, D. that.
Another ideas...if you notice that he is really, really uncomfortable and he is lowering grades and changing his behavior...just move him to another school if you don't get help or support from the current school. There is always someone to help you, and there is always a way to solve these problems,just stand out for your child if he really is sincere and if he is having an actual problem. You KNOW HIM better than anyone.
Good luck

Alejandra

Dear J.,

I think it sort of depends on how bad the teacher is. If she's just sort of ho-hum, if she's boring or not super-understanding, then it might be good to encourage your son to stick it out. Just be sure to give him a lot of positive reinforcement for doing so.

But if she's really bad, if she singles him out or humiliates him in front of the other kids -- and yes, there are teachers who do this, or at least there were when I was growing up -- then I think it's important to stand up and be your child's advocate.

I also think it's important not to underestimate the social. If your son is being bullied, I really recommend both standing up for him as far as the teacher, principal, and superintendent are concerned, and also helping him develop the skills to defend himself -- role-playing comebacks, signing him up for karate, etc.

In my opinion I would contact the school district, there should'nt be any reason why they can't switch classes. How is he sooupposed to be confident in learning from his teacher if he does'nt like her? I would keep nagging the school and the school district to change his teacher.

Can't you have him apply for gifted classes Or suggest that to his Teacher? Does his school have a Gifted program? Maybe its not the Teacher, but he is bored and you said he is very advanced for his age... so maybe he just needs more.

Have you talked to the Teacher?

In what way does he "hate" school? Peers? Teacher? Curriculum? Food? Socialization? You have to PINpoint it.

First thing would be to talk to his Teacher. If this is a public school... then not much you can do... being half the school year is over already.
Or if he is in Private school I would think you can advocate for him and they will have something to do about it?

But yes, ultimately, HE has to deal with it. Hopefully next year will be better.

Good luck,
Susan

So far, I see really good answers. You're right, they may not want to change your son to a different class so late in the year since the other class may be going at a different speed than the one he's in. If the other class is going at the same speed or faster, you can negotiate that you will teach him what he needs at home. The problem is that neither you nor your son like his teacher. That happens sometimes, so you may not want to switch, because what if it happens again? You're not learning how to deal with the real issue or trying to make things run smoother. The worst thing you can do is to down the teacher in front of him or withing "ear shot." You need to sit down with both your son and his teacher to find out how to make things run smoothly. You need to find good things you do like about his teacher. It could even be the curriculum itself, that may make her seem hard/easy/boring. Another person mentioned about a gifted program. If there is no gifted program, then you will have to take matters into your own hands toward the end of the school year to prepare for the next school year. This means that you will have to have your son tested to see if he can skip a grade. Sometimes boys will act immature, because they aren't were their brains are. My son's a good example. He has always been a high honor student and is good at socializing, but he did get bullied alot and there were things I noticed that he did that were a little immature. Now he's skipped a grade and is doing even better socializing and is still a high honors student, but is also more challenged.

Another thing to think about....Remember when you were in school? There was a teacher you didn't like....Maybe even a teacher no one liked. How did you deal with it?

Hi J.,
I thnk before you start talking about changing classes, you need to pinpoint what the problem is. Your child will not love their teacher every year, but if the teacher is grading his work fairly and teaching the curriculum correctly, then she is doing her job. If he is bored because the academic work is below his level, another class won't change that. My kids (now in high school and middle school) have had teachers that they didn't love, but I took the so sad, too bad attitude about that, in life there will be people that you don't get along great with but you must work with them.
If this is a general, "I hate school, I don't like my teacher," I think you need to find more information. How are his gredes? Is he learning? Different teachers have very different teaching styles and whatever his or her style is may be new to your son. I would need more info than this to say that a child should be moved to a new class midyear - sure it can be done, but would it actually solve the specific problem?

They will move you mid-year and don't ever let them tell you no...that is your right....and listen sometimes some teachers don't blend with kids...the same teacher may be another student's favorite and that's fine...but if your child is having a hard time their education shouldn't suffer...but also try to feel it out and make sure it's not a problem with another student. Maybe you should meet with the teacher first and see what is being observed in the class too.