8 Mo Won't Sit Still to Feed from Bottle- Bored Easily? Doesn't Sleep Thru Nite

We used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" as some others have mentioned. (usually avail. at the library, but a good investment, as you'll want to reference it for a year or so) With a child so old, it will take probably at least a week to institute the strict 7pm bedtime, with lots of crying. She's crying out of frustration at being so tired, and not knowing how to make it better. You have to be strong and show her that sleeping will make her feel better. It will pay off infinately for you both in the long run. PS. The number one thing couples do when their child is crying, is fight. Sometimes I had to go out for a walk while my husband did the putting to bed, and some nights I felt more confident to do it alone. Hang in there, it won't take too long. You'll be so happy the first night she sleeps and is a different child in the morning.

Try an earlier bedtime, but give it a chance to work. If you're not in favor of hearing baby cry you can try some methods from E. Pantely's "No Cry Sleep Solution". My 5 month old was accustomed to going to bed around midnight and then we read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" when we noticed his sleep was fragmented. The book suggested a much earlier bedtime and I thought he'd never go for it but he did. We let him cry it out after putting him in his crib around 7pm. He did cry the first 3 nights and then ever since he falls asleep no problem and sleeps until 6-7AM. He also takes 2, sometimes 3 naps daily. What I learned from my reading was this: Sleep begets sleep. It doesn't seem to make sense in a way, but we have found this to be very true. When he has ample naps and goes to bed early, he sleeps deeper and longer. Hardest part: you must be firm and take control. Best of luck.

I suggest more of a parent driven shedule. Her sleeping is completely off kilter. How many children, let alone babies, get to nap at dinnertime and go to bed at 11:30pm? It will take some serious adjusting and putting up with some serious crankiness to change her schedule. She should have a morning nap (not lunchtime) and an afternoon nap(not dinnertime). No more than 1.5 hours each.Shoot for a 7-8 ish bedtime. Start making her naptimes earlier by 15 minutes every two days and put her down at 8pm. She is old enough that she is probably waking up mostly out of habit, not hunger (thus the only 2-3 oz of eating). My son used wake up in the night and eat a full 8 oz even at a year old. The dr had told me by six months they do not need the nutrition during a full 8 hours nite sleep. But my son always seemed so hungry so I kept letting him eat. It was easier for me to get back to sleep so I could function the next day rather than to listen to him cry. Finally I was unemployed for a month and I decided we needed to change this habit at a year old. I simply went from 8 oz in the bottlefor two nights, then six, ounces for two nights, then 4 ounces for two nights, 2 ounces for 2 nights and then just a pacifier. He fussed some, but after two weeks he slept thru the night more often than not. He wasn't really hungry, it was just routine. He also wanted to fall asleep around dinnertime when he was younger and I realized that promoted more waking up. He fussed, but I kept him up until 7 pm and he finally adjusted to it. The extra hyperness you describe is what they call "self stimulation". They are actually tired, and in response they "self stimulate" or become overly active to combat the tiredness. It is best not to get to this point as everything becomes impossible when they get like this. The schedule Pam set out sounds quite reasonable to aim for. A predictable night time routine is essential as well. Do the same things, say the same night night words etc.It will be hard to change her schedule and you will be exhausted in the process, but it will be well worth it for the health and sanity of your whole family in the future. Especially if you plan on having another child. Having the first one on a schedule will be essential in being able to deal with the next child.

I HIGHLY recommend you read "Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child"... It's a WONDERFUL book that will help you out tremendously. It will make you, your baby, and your family so much happier! A set schedule is what you all need. She should be waking up in the morning between 6 and 7am. Nurse/bottle and play... She shouldn't be awake at this age for more than 2 or 3 hours during the day. As Pam said, one nap around 9ish and the other around 1. Set a bedtime routine... Like, bath, read book, nurse. She should be in bed by 7pm. Setting this new schedule will be harder on you then it is for her. You just have to be strong and be the parent. Once your baby is better rested, she may be more receptive to trying new things like new foods. Getting her on a good sleep schedule will help you in more areas than you think.

Hi there J. and I can tell you are very frustrated and tired. I think what would help is getting her on a schedule. Something like:
7am - bottle 7oz/breast
9am - solids/jar food, stage 2
nap at 9:30am to 11am
11am - bottle 7oz/breast
12:30pm - solids/jar food. stage 2
nap 1pm to 3pmish
4pm - bottle 7oz/breast
6pm - solids
7pm bath routine
8pm last bottle and ready for bed

She should be sleeping through the night for sure at this time. A schedule would be very helpful for you and for her. I run my own home daycare business so i have lots of experience with babies. Please let me know if this helpful for you or if you need any other advice. Good luck and just remember, it will get better!

Pam and Catherine are right on with their advice. My comments are to remember that it is going to take time to make any schedule changes, even up to two weeks. Be patient and be consistent!! Do not give in as this will teach your daughter that she can be in charge. You are the parent and in control. Second, are you picking her up every time she wakes up? Some kids will make noises in their sleep or will "appear" to wake up but are actually still sleeping. Wait a few minutes without letting her see you before you rush in to her bed. She may lay back down and go back to sleep. Third, don't force the baby food. She may not be ready. Talk to your pediatrician about her weight and eating habits. Good luck.

Hi, Sorry in advance for the long email. My twins are just 7 months old and I've been pretty successful at getting them to sleep through the night starting a little after 4 months -- but it was done in stages. Prior to that, I was an exhausted mess. I'll share ... maybe some of this will help you.

First, because I couldn't exclusively breastfeed, we were on the bottle. This was and continues to be helpful because I know exactly how much the girls are eating at each feeding. My pediatrician said that they should be drinking *a minimum* of 24 ounces of formula per day (we also are on solids since 4 mos). So, my first goal was to try to get them to eat as much of their 24 oz during the day rather than needing to eat it at night (in fact it varies from 25 - 30 oz bc we also mix formula w/rice cereal). Put some focus on this ... stick with her bottles when she pushes them away, give her a 10 min break and come back to it. The more she eats during the day, the less she *needs* to eat at night to catch up.

Also, maybe your daughter can't eat a lot in one bottle ... for a long time, one of my girls really preferred to eat more frequent, smaller meals (3 - 4 oz). She had a touchy stomach and too much food caused her to have an upset stomach / acid / spitting. So, if she only takes 3 oz consistently, try to give her another small bottle after 1.5 hours rather than 2 big bottles 3 hours apart. She may just have different preferences. It's more work, but it may get more food into her during the day.

When my girls dropped their first night feeding (2 am ish), it was a shock to me! This was a little after 4 mos. They woke up as usual, I went to warm their bottles and when I came back, one had fallen asleep again and the other was playing in her crib. So, I realized that they weren't necessarily waking anymore because they were hungry, but waking out of *habit*. From that night on, I did not feed them at that hour (remember, I knew how much food they were getting). My husband and I agreed that when we are driving in the car and can't get to the girls, they cry for a max of 20 - 25 mins before they get tired. We said that if we are ok with that in the car then we are ok with doing "CIO" for that long too. Honestly, the most my girls fussed after skipping that feeding was about 20 minutes.

Like everyone else here, we got into a bedtime routine as soon as we started to see a little eye rubbing between 630 - 7. Same music, same room, same small bottle. Seems to help. They go down between 7 - 8 pm with almost no exception. (We had issues with breaking some bad habits to get them to go down, but that is another email. :-) )

However, what I also do between 10 - 11 pm, is feed them another large bottle to tank up for the night. I keep the lights low, quietly get them out of their crib, don't talk to them, don't change them so they know that it's nighttime. After they eat whatever they are going to eat (anywhere from 2 - 6 oz), I quietly put them back.

Finally, just 2 weeks ago, they dropped their 5 am feeding. I don't know why or how, they just did it and now, even though they sometimes wake at that hour, I don't feed them; I just go in, give them their pacifier or whatever, and quietly go out... even if they fuss. Prior to that, I was giving them a mini-bottle of 3 oz to tide them over until their 8 / 9 am. It worked; it only took about 10 - 15 mins, and they'd go back to sleep and so would I!

A piece of advice given to me by another twin mom: "Don't go back." Once you drop a feeding one time or establish a good habit, don't revert to past behavior, no matter how hard. She found that it takes about 3 days to establish new habits.

A piece of advice from me that I read about: for feedings you are working on dropping, reduce the size of the bottle or the time of the breastfeeding little by little. As they get older, these feedings / wakings are often more habit than of need. So don't give them 6 oz bottles / 40 min feedings at 2 am. Reduce by an ounce or 10 minutes week by week, or after a few days. It is much easier to get up for 10 - 15 minute feedings than 40 minute feedings -- and it starts getting your baby in the habit of waking for less time.

Again, sorry for this ridiculously long email but hopefully some of this info can help. I know how tough it is when your otherwise perfect, wonderful baby is keeping you up at night. Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions on what I wrote. Hang in there!

Hi J.,
Dedicating the next three weeks to your task of changing Kira's habits. It takes alot of patience and her biorhythyms are already developed. One nap is enough and it needs to end by 4:30. She goes to bed so late because you let her take such a late nap from 5-6. Keep her awake as long as you can incrementally working toward either a 1:30-4:00ish nap or a short one from 10-11 and then 2-4. It will not happen all at once. The hardest part will be changing your own habits to accomodate this change. I used to put my girls in the stroller in order for them to nap when I wanted them to.Whatever it is that you do, keep doing it because after several weeks your daughter will see it as the routine and not as something threatening. She will cry at first, however, you are not hurting her and giving in when you are so tired yourself is only hurting her in the long run. YOU NEED YOUR ENERGY.

Perhaps she doesn't like the babyfood. Have you tried it? Some of it is awful and it is fine to only offer her oatmeal and a few foods at this stage to avoid food allergies. Try mixing something like applesauce into the oatmeal. Patience. Kids like very plain tastes.

The extra hyper phase means she's overly tired and over stimulated. We called it "The Land of No Return". You have to get her calmed down and establish a bedtime routine that starts an hour after dinner. Turn off the TV or put it on somethimg monotonous like the weather channel, turn the volume down and dim the lights. After bath time, I used to go around the entire house with my son in my arms closing blinds and turning off lights " Night-Night trees, night-night sky, night-night kitchen," etc. all the way to his room. Then we read books in his room and sang sleepy songs in the rocker until I felt him "melt" then we tucked him in with his favorite security blankie and teddy bear.
We learned to do things EXACTLY the same every time - our son still doesn't like change!
The 2nd nap time is a little late - try gradually shifting her routine in 15 minute increments to earlier so she'll be ready for nighttime earlier.

Hi J.,

I can totally relate with the not wanting to eat. I have a 10 month old who has never been a great solids eater. She litterally eats half a jar and that's it. I have tried everything and finally I just called it quits. I try and if she eats great and if she doesn't than the session is over. We have a good schedule and have not had problems with her sleeping through the night. She also will only drink 2-3 ounces and then want to go play. If she is hungry she will eat the whole 6 ounces but I don't push it. I used to get really stressed about it but she is growing and if she is hungry she will eat.

Hey J.

Sorry things are rough - not getting good sleep is a real drag. One thing you could try is to talk with a sleep consultant - they can be a real help. There is also a class and an intensive workshop at the Tulip Grove in Montclair taught be a specialist named Sarah - she's terrific. Look them up and see is she can help. (www.thetulipgrove.com)

Godd luck.

Hi J.,

I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this. I am a full time working mom and have a 8 1/2 month old son that does not drink from the bottle. I am still nursing him in the morning and when I get home after work and during the day he barely drinks 5 oz of milk from the daycare person. I think the only difference with us is he loves to sleep at 8:30pm until 5am which I consider a full nights rest.

I just recently started feeding him milk in a sippy cup which he does take (sometimes). Typically he loves water from only! I also feed him our food (pureed) which keeps him full and content.

I've tried everything from different bottles, routines, etc but he still wants "mommy". I am convinced to stick it through and continue to give milk in the sippy cup hoping one day he will learn to love it. As he is getting older he is getting more interested in other foods which will help in weaning him from the breast.

I too need help! I thought that you migh find comfort knowing you aren't alone.

TD

It seems like your daughter could be overtired. Kids that are overtired do not sleep well. If we keep my daughter up late for some reason she actually wakes up earlier the next morning. She is sleeping only 10 hours at night (not uninterrupted) and only sleeping 2 hours at naps. She needs at least 3 more hours of sleep. I will put the schedule I used for my daughter at that age below. She has slept through the night since 3 months old (she was breastfed until 4 1/2 months old) and she even slept longer when I switched her to formula and solid foods. Switching an 8 month olds schedule is a lot harder than a 3 month old so it will take a little bit of time (maybe a week) and you have to be consistent. If you give in to her it will slow down the process and she will realize if she cries louder and harder she will eventually get her way. I am not saying not to check on her or give her love, but make it clear that she is not getting out of the crib until morning. She should be able to go all night without feeding. Did you (or used to) breastfeed her to sleep, because this seems to make it harder for babies to learn to fall asleep on their own. Also, your daughter will take a bottle when she is hungry. My daughter was eating about 30 ounces of formula at that age and eating solids 3 times a day. The CIO method is really hard to deal with, but it is the fastest way to getting everyone a good night sleep.
Schedule
Wake up at 6:30/7:00 AM and have a 6 ounce bottle
Breakfast at 8:00 AM(oatmeal and a #2 foods-fruit)
Nap- 9:00 AM-11:00 AM
Bottle at 11:00 AM (6 ounces)
Lunch at Noon (Oatmeal and fruit/vegetables)
Nap- 1PM-3PM
Bottle 3PM
Dinner 5PM (fruits/vegetables/meats)
Bottle around 6:30 PM
Bath/Story 6:45 PM
Bedtime 7:15PM- 7:30 PM

Good Luck

Hi J.. My now almost 4 year old went through this when he started developing new skills. He was just too interested in DOING stuff to sit still. Same at night. I feel for you. It will pass. Meantime, you can enjoy her enjoying her new skills, and, yes, you ARE allowed to snooze while she plays as long as she is in a safe place. He wouldn't eat either. Frustrating! Good luck.

that routine from Pam G sound s like a good one. But beware of " shoulds" and "for sures". i'm learning some kids just don't do it by the book (see my requests about sleep...) . Be patient. most important: take Deep Breaths-Take care of yourselves, too! Get rest when you can , it helps to cope with a frustrating sleep situation! Good Luck!
Feel free to ask me about what we've tried, and are trying with our almost 8 month old... Peace, J.

One of my children didn't eat regular baby food until almost one. As long as she is gaining weight and the Dr. says it's fine than I wouldn't worry. Also, she is old enough to use a sippy cup (my other child wouldn't use a bottle). In the long run the sippy cup was better because they were cheaper and easier to clean. Have you tried having her sit with you and your husband at meal times? This might encourage her to eat since you are eating too. Hope this helps.

Hi J.,
I'm with Pam on this one. Your daughter needs a schedule. Either she's going to be in charge of your house, or you are. Life will be much better for you both if you're in charge.

What I'd recommend is similar to what Pam was saying. At this age, babies need to eat every 4 hours or so during the day. Say your first feeding is at 6am. Make sure you're burping her halfway through her bottle so she can get a big, full meal. Then she'll have some awake time until maybe 9am, when you'll put her down for a short nap. At 10am when she wakes up, give her another small bottle, then try some solids (or vice versa - up to you). More awake/play time. Down for nap again around 12:30. When she wakes up at 2, feed her. More awake time. Dinner around 6pm, then bath time and PUT HER TO BED! She should be going to bed at 6:30-7pm. Even if you do not think she's sleepy, put her in bed anyway. The first couple of days, she may have a problem with this! It's ok if she fusses a little bit. That is normal and perfectly healthy as babies get rid of the frustration of the day and settle themselves down. If you feel like her fussing is getting out of control, you can go in and pat her back a little, or say "sh-sh-sh" - whatever helps. (However, do not pick her up, as this is confusing - she might wonder, is it time to wake up now? What am I supposed to be doing?) After a couple of days, she'll be falling asleep around 7.

Once you get her schedule down and put her to bed early, she'll sleep through the night, I promise you. Babies need to be put down early in order to sleep properly (as my grandmother says, "The more they sleep, the more they sleep!"), and they also need to learn to put themselves to sleep. That's why it's important to put her down for naps and bed BEFORE she collapses from exhaustion. If she can successfully fall asleep in her crib for a nap, then she can put herself to sleep if she wakes up in the middle of the night.

In any case, I think once you are onto a parent-driven schedule, your baby will be happier. Of course you can work with your baby's needs - when she hits a growth spurt, add a feeding by all means. If she's cranky, put her to bed a little early. But the point is, YOU determine what the schedule is in your house. Babies do not really feel secure when they are being asked to determine what happens and when. They don't have enough life experience to decide that sort of thing! =)

I hope this helps!! Hang in there, it will get better!

J.,

restlessness and lack of desire to eat (anorexia in adults)is caused by a B vitamin deficiency ...Vit b5, b12, niacin.

A high number of the population is B vitamin deficient. Eating sugars adds to this problem because it kills B vitamins. We don't store b vitamins either so we need to eat a good supply.

Since you are breastfeeding I would recommend a good dose of B complex vitamins for you. While you are at it, I would take a high vit A and good vit D source...cod liver oil. It's a superfood, one of the best things to take on a daily basis. Walmart carries an orange flavored one, but the best source is "Carlson's Cod Liver Oil"- found online.

Have you tried co-sleeping? Worked wonders for me and my high maintenance hungry girls who didn't sleep through the night for the first few years. The medical description of "sleeping through the night" is, I believe 4 hours, or something like that that feels insane .... but is normal! I wouldn't try forcing her to eat baby food -- wait until SHE wants solids -- she'll let you know by grabbing for your food. As for sleeping and naps, why not gradually get her up a bit earlier every day, lay down with her to get her to nap a little earlier every day, and eventually you may be able to change her nap and sleep schedule -- at least the times she naps and is ready to sleep at night. Nursing to sleep was my lifesaver for 8 years, I'll have to admit! Made me sleepy and the babies/toddlers as well!