6 Yr Old Wetting Pants

My 4 year old went through a phase where he was really anxious -- moved to a new classroom-- and he wet his pants daily. It was more anxiety and if she is getting into trouble for something else-- that could be the reason.

Have you had her tested for diabetes? I had no family history and started the same thing at 9. No one thought to test me until I ended ut at Vanderbilt Hospital in ICU... Has she started requestin more to drink? Had weight loss?

C.,
I experienced that -- as the child. When I was 6 or 7, I was witness to a molestation and didn't have the vocabulary to describe to anybody what horror I had seen, but I knew I didn't want it to happen to me. I started mostly wetting the bed, but occasionally my pants in the daytime as well. I don't know that I chose to wet my pants consciously, but my belly also hurt with the emotional turmoil. Your daughter may have something very wrong other than a UTI, and just punishing her without trying very hard to tease out of her what is going on in her head is only going to make it worse. Maybe you just need to keep asking her what's going on. I doubt she'll volunteer it immediately, because she won't be able to voice it, but try to help her along.
Good luck,
LG

Dear C.,
-I'm sorry that you and your daughter are going through all this. I haven't had to deal with this with my own kids, but I've had experience with other people's kids. For this to have just started recently along with a bellyache, I think there is something concrete going on.
-Buy Pull-ups for her to use until the problem resolves.
-Please don't discipline her in any way that's related to this. Of course she's going to lie about wetting her pants. She's embarrassed and doesn't want to get into trouble. She already feels badly enough about the accidents, just be supportive, loving, and be available for her right now.
-Try to help her to relax about it. This means that you have to relax about it, too. For instance, if you notice that she is wet, discretely hand her a change of clothes with a plastic bag for her wet clothes. Then, calmly and quietly tell her to go and change them. Let it be your secret.
-It's good that the possibility of UTI is being checked out. UTIs are not uncommon in 6 year old girls, because they are wiping themselves when Mom isn't supervising. They are more likely not to adhere to the "front-to-back" rule. Going "back-to-front", they bring rectal and vaginal contaminants to the urethra.
-Another thought: Is there any possiblity of molestation? Has the doctor checked her or talked to her? Have there been any other physically or emotionally traumatic events recently?
-Bellyaches are frequently a sign that children are stressed.
-I know you're at your wit's end, but hold on. I doubt if it's a "phase". I'm sure that she's not being "lazy". She needs your loving support going through an embarrassing and scary problem, whatever the cause might turn out to be.
Good luck!
PS-My 80+ year/old mother-in-law has blatantly lied to me about wetting her pants, too.

Is it possible that she is constipated? My friend's daughter will start wetting herself when she gets constipated because she is afraid of having a bowel movement that will hurt. She just avoids the toilet all together until they finally have to give her an enema. If her belly hurts, that could be an option.

Hi C., I'm an early childhood professional, have 3 children of my own and helped raise two of my nieces. If she has been fully potty trained until now, then there is a reason she suddenly started having accidents. Children rarely simply become lazy after they are trained.

Be very careful about disciplining her over the issue. Remember, it won't last forever. If she is lying about it, she is probably ashamed.
Whether something in her world suddenly changed to make her regress, or something is medically wrong... No matter the reason, she doesn't understand it, can't explain it, and probably can't do anything about it. Children that age don't want to let adults down. You can and should remind her that you love her and are proud of her even if she has accidents, but that you need her to tell you when she does and explain why (rashes, odor, cleanliness). But be careful not to make it a discipline issue.

thats so odd! my 4 year old has been doing the same thing latley. so what we have been doing is reminding her every hour or so and having her go sit on the potty and try to go. it seems to be helping. worth a try hope she feels better soon!

Hi C., In my opinion, if your 6 year old has out of the blue started wetting the bed again ther is probably a reason, and not because she's being lazy. She is lying to you because she's embarassed, so discipling her is not helping. Nobody wants to wake up in wet sheets, even a 6 year old. Has something happened recently that would cause a shift in behavior? if you think the answer is no, probe a bit further, ask alot of questions and see how she responds. Also I have found that at times kids go through very intense growing spurts, this can cause the body to be overly tired, which can prohibit it from waking to go to the bathroom. I would remain calm when an incident occurs and be patient with her, don't make her feel worse then she already does, this will hurt her self-esteem. Good luck, this too shall pass. Be the way I'm a mother of three. Sincerlely
L.

When my son was 7, he began doing the same and frequently. Because I work in healthcare, I first thought it was a UTI but all the symptoms weren't there. I knew in my heart it was something else and took him to his pediatrician which confirmed that he had type 1 juvenile diabetes. You may want to get that ruled out as well, just to be sure.

She could be scared of something, or SOMEONE !!!!!
I used to wet the bed all the time. I had a step father that touched me and did bad things to me. If this is true and you punish her, she is being punished twice and is more scared. I hope this is not the case with her. Good luck and GOD BLESS.
J.

C. wait have the doctor check her blood sugar for ketones.she may have diabetes. My son (he is 8yrs old now)last year started to wet his pants at school and his bed at night he would tell us that he was wetting his bed and pants the ketones where so high that he really did not know it just happened. He would come home from first grade and tell me his belly was hurting and that he got sick at school.Well on Good Friday on 2007 he came home with the same story but then he started to throw up (I thought it was the flu)by the next morning he was so sick that he could not breath and could not move (my husband had to carry him out the door to the doctors) He was also losing weight (he was always on the thin side but he was getting thinner. When the doctor checked him his blood sugar was 586 we went around the block to the hospital and by then it was 598. They wanted to air care him to the childrens hospital.. My son told me twice he was doing to die. We spend Easter last year at the hospital. Jared is doing great now. He takes insulin shots 3 to 5 times a day and is living a healthy life.It did change are family's life from that day on. I dont want to scare you but please have the doctors check her for it what do you have to lose it may save her life.If the results come back no type 1 diabetes then you can count your lucky stars...

L.

Poor thing, she's probably ashamed, frightened, insecure and embarrassed!!
Personally I would NOT discipline her and cause her to feel worse about it, as she isn't going to understand that. And what happens if you find out there is a serious health problem or even an emotional one that is the cause??
I would gently but firmly remind her not to lie, and reassure her that she will not be punished for wetting her pants, but the lying is unacceptable, that it's important that she tell the truth so that you and her doctor can help her get better.
If tests come back negative on UTI, get feedback from the doctor, and some suggestions.
The other thing that comes to my mind is to question her matter-of-factly about what is on her mind. How does she feel about herself and why? Have there been ANY recent changes in her world that might have caused her to start wetting (if it's not UTI)?? A new baby in the house? Mom and dad arguing in front of her? All avenues need to be examined, and if you can't get to the root of it, please consult her pediatrician, or even consider a child psychologist.
Sometimes the simplest things have a great impact on children. Maybe a friend moved away? Is she being bullied by others at school or church, or daycare? Has she shown any signs of being upset, uptight, or depressed in the days or weeks leading up to the wetting??
Until you find out something, I would love her, be empathetic, and don't make a great big deal of it, even the lying, until the cause is discovered. Don't add emotional turmoil to her condition as she really needs to KNOW that you're on her side no matter what.

I hope nothing I've suggested is taken negatively. My own daughter had issues with UTI and some other conditions while growing up, and there is always a reason for them reverting back to wetting, whether it's medical condition(s) or emotional causes.

I would, at least, try a urologist. My daughter never stopped wetting the bed and at five I took her to a urologist. She had a bladder infection that had backed up almost to her kidneys and she also had a problem with her pituitary gland. The pituitary gland matures as the child ages and tells their kidneys not to produce urine while the child is sleeping. In my daughter's case the message wasn't being sent to the kidneys and she wet the bed every night. The urologist gave her DDAVP nose spray. It is the synthetic version of the same hormone that the pituitary gland secretes and we would spray her nose on each side of her nostrils at bedtime. She never wet the bed again, unless we forgot to spray. When she went through puberty at 11 we were able to come off of the spay and she hasn't ever had any more problems. She is now 25.

She probably does have a bladder or kidney infection. If she is lying about it, that measn she is probably disappointed in herself and knows she shouldn't have but can't help it. I wouldn't punish her for that yet because if it turns out that she has an infection and she couldn't help it, you are gonna feel really bad. If that turns out negative then there is something going on in her life that is stressful. Have you ever heard the ole saying, 'you can get more with honey than you can with vinegar?' Well I would sit down with her alone sometime and ask her what was wrong and see if you could get her to talk to you. Sometimes if you listen really closely you will hear the answer when she didn't even give it to you. I would let her know that you were sympathetic and explain that people have accidents and it is ok, we will just change, etc. Maybe she is wanting your attention for some reason, maybe she is being taunted at school, maybe something is scaring her and she is scared to tell you. Sometimes a little tlc can make all the difference in the world. Now if you do all of this and she is still wetting.... then that is when I would become frustrated but try a different approach to it for a little while first and see if you get any different results. One thing that my husband tells me alot: if you don't get any results from what you are doing, you might a well stop and not waste your breath or your time and try something else. (he is a psychologists).
So, good luck and I hope that it all works out and it turns out to be something super simple and not serious.

When I was a child, about 8 or so I did the same thing, mostly at night. It turned out I had a weak bladder, so I remember going to the doctor, and having to do bladder control strenghting. Which amounted to holding it as long as I could, and then measuring it (my urine) in a cup, and writing it down on a chart. I do not remember how long I did this for, but it seemed to do the trick. And I am sure my mother gave me some kind or a reward for no longer wetting in my pants, but that was a long time ago, and I do not remember what it was, but I am sure it was nothing hugh. B.'

C.~
Don't be too h*** o* her. I had and still to this day have bladder issues. I used to lie about it, because it was so embarrassing. Please whatever you do, don't make a scene in public. They ended up having to do a small surgery on my "tinkle" to make the opening smaller, because I was not able to hold it any more. They don't know what caused it, but this pretty much fixed it. Now if I have to go to the bathroom today, I still need to go NOW....its embarrassing, but its something that I cannot help. I have lived with this most of my life. I wish you all the best of luck. Be supportive, it may not be her fault!

She's old enough to have a real 'sit-down lady' talk. Simply ask her in a concerned way (not with your hands on your hips and your eyebrows raised, if you knowhatImean) if she knows why she's been having trouble keeping her pants dry. I work with a mentally and physically handicapped guy who's 49, and sometimes he's just too darn lazy to go to the bathroom, but he's also on Lasix and sometimes just CAN'T wait. Let her tell YOU what's going on physically, in her mind, at school, with her emotions, in the family, with friends, etc. -- whatever she can reveal without feeling threatened. Be as understanding as you can.

On the other hand, if it's just laziness or stubbornness, make her as uncomfortable as you can about it. I'd either tell her that if she insists on acting like a baby, you can treat her like one by having her lay still while you diaper her, don't give drinks after supper, etc. Or make HER totally responsible to change and wash her own clothes and/or bedding, dry them and put them away. Either extreme --treating her as a baby OR as an adult for a short time-- should work.

P.S. I didn't realize that you'd already given an update when I started writing. Only just sent my response THEN saw all the other entries and your feedback. Anyway, GOOD LUCK and God bless!

Though you've given us an update there is one possibility I did not see mentioned. I read each one , my son ,8 has been having day and night wetting. Night for 3 years maybe 4 after going a year dry. Day wetting for the last year. After much detective work, alarms and two Urologist visits and meds just this summer , my own guess is still standing. Side effect, to Singulair. We didn't test for diabeitis and should have since it's in the family so I pursue this still. All meds affect people differently. Does she take any regularly? I noticed when we went several months without Singulair my water bill went down. Interesting since I don't have a pool or water the grass. Just as soon as we started up it went. I've read that with other children the same is happening, though no Dr. or the pamphlet on side effects will agree. I'm still 75% convinced though. Heredity also plays a part. I wet till 12. But I feel if I can cut out 25% of wetting we can grit our teeth through the rest. Hope this sheds light you may not have considered.

Tell her she can talk to you and tell you anything without getting punished if she does not then the punishment is your decision. A UTI can be very painful and serious at times.

Disciplining her for wetting her pants because she wants to ,at 6 yrs old! Get a grip! No 6 yr old wants to wet their pants. She is having a problem, and this is serious. Help her out and buy some briefs for now, tell her it is all right, that you are getting her some help, and to let you know if she needs anything. She is mortified and that is why she is lying about it, and you are making a big deal about it, and she is scared.

This may sound strange, but this happened to my sisters son. She found out that he had developed a milk allergy. It was as almost as if he had no controll, even if he tried to make it to the RR he just couldn't. She tested the theory by eliminating all milk products from his diet and the problem stopped. Cow's milk was the biggest issue. He now drinks goats milk (but there are a lot of other options). Once the realized the issue, and changed milks, she gradually tested things back into his diet. He can now eat the more procesed milk products (cheese, yougart and ice cream), but has to stay away from milk. If all of the UTI tests come back neg, you might consider getting her tested for allergies - you many have to find a "Naturalist"Doctor. but it could be worth you time. - Just a thought!

My only personal advise it to remember your daughter is never right for lying, but she is probably as embarressed as you are confused.

Hope all gets better, God bless.

Stop disciplining her!!! My son did this and when we diciplined him it only made him not want to tell us anything.
After we found out what the cause was we felt so bad and had to majorly make it up to him so he would tell us thigs. He is 8 now. Tell her it is ok to tell you when it happens but if she feels the urge to go , try to go to the potty. Keep encouraging her to do the best she can. If she has support instead of being diciplined for doing something she might not have controle over, you might get better results in the lying department.

I'd like to second (and third!) the advice to get your daughter checked for diabetes. While it's certainly uncommon, getting it checked could be a lifesaver (and a sanity-saver as well!).

C.,
My daughter who is now 7 has had that same problem. I took her in for a test and she did not have a UTI. For my daughter it was all about nerves. Anytime she had something new occur or was scared about something she wet her pants a little bit or felt like she had to go potty as an emergency. It started again with the new school year this year. My advice is to not yell at her and just make sure she goes to the bathroom. Perhaps the discipline is taking on a negative effect and she is still having the problem...Maybe if you ignore it by just saying, "give me your wet clothes so I can wash them...And, go sit on the toilet" without any emotion the behavior will settle and she will stop. That is the only thing that worked for us. Hope that helps! God Bless.

I agree with Linda. My son (5) was wetting himself last weekend and after 2 days we took him to the UTC and he has diabetes. His blood glucose was 830 but no ketones. He hasn't had an accident since. At this age, there is a reason for the wetting you just need to figure out what it is.

you might go back to treating her like a 3year old and telling her that 3 yo's do not get to play with this , or they go to bed this early because they are such babies then put her to bed earlier, let her know that when she stops wetting herself she will be treated like a 6 yo again. that worked for a friend hope it does for you sometimes when a new baby or situation occurs in their life they react by sliding a bit back.
have fun and good luck cindi

A UTI can definately cause urinary incontenince. I would keep her super hydrated with water and cranberry juice, as natural as you can find it. Try to find some that has no added sugar. Try to keep her off of soft drinks, teas, and other fruit juices that are full of sugar and may not contain the natural benefits that cranberry can offer. You can also feed her craisins, that will have less benefit, buit it MAY help a little. The cranberry juice truly does help clear out a UTI naturally, although you may have to get a blend cause the cranberry juice is so tart. Cran-grape is a good one at my house with my 4 year old girl, who has recurrent UTI's. I also am a nurse with a history of them myself.

Best of luck!

C.,
Has there been a recent change in her schedule or a major change that may be causing her to regress? My boys sometimes regress to younger behavior when they are under stress (not what you are experiencing - but other behaviors). If you think back and realize an event that may have occured around the time this all started, you may be able to help her.

Good Luck -
T.

I doubt this is her being"lazy" it is either psychological or biological. Either way shame and humiliation will only prolong your problems. It is not typical behavior and I would show her a lot of compassion and sympathy.

All the best,

Hi C.,

I am unsure of how to respond to your request but I feel your frustration. I have been having problems with my son for the past year with not waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and he is five years old. When he was first potty trained he was really good about it and then he just seemed to stop at one point. I know he sleeps really well and usually doesn't wake up until he has already wet the bed and he needs to change out of his pj's, etc. The only thing I am told is that boys tend to take longer and have a problem with wetting the bed. But I am also at my wits end.

Good luck!
M.

I pray she will be alright.
It could be too much of vitamin C. in juices or cool aid. Talk to your Doctor about this. They stemualate you to go alot if too much I feel.
And it is making her feel like she has to
go. I heard once that too much of vitamin C will do that.
Or maybe tea if she has that. Caffeen can also do that.
She might be sensative and that is why it is happening.
She also might be seeing this with other children for attention and she wants that too.
These are just some things to think about. Some Ideas.
For I feel she is a good girl. And lying about could be she is afraid and does not understand what is happening.
Take care Vicki W.