6 Year Gap in Childrens Age

My husband comes from a family of 6 kids. The first five are 18-24mos apart. The last, an oops baby, was born when child #5 was in kindergarten. It was fine, I am told. Their mother openly said to anyone who asked about it that the child she most enjoyed was the 6th, because of the one-on-one time she had with that child that just was impossible with the first 5. It does create an odd dynamic between the kids- the first 5 are basically a litter or sorts, and then there is the "the baby". Today at ages 50-34 they are still that way and probably always will be. But all in all, it was just fine.

My brother is 6 1/2 years older than me (fertility problems the second time around). Again, it was fine. My mother calls us her "two only children", and thats just what we are. We talk, we never fight, but we arent super close emotionally. But its ok. I'm glad he is there, and I think, hope, he's glad I'm here. Only thing was that when I was born he ended up in a bit of therapy. I was a very sickly baby, severe colic and other issues, and I took ALL my mother's time. In turn, and rightly so, he got mighty mad at her. Not me, he was old enough apparently to recognize it wasnt my fault I was sick, but my mom. But in the end, we were ok.

Not sure that I am gonna be much help, but Owell! My kids are 15, 9, 7, & 3 1/2. Between one and two was awesome, my oldest was so independent by 6 that I wasn't stretched so thin! Now with the last 3...I was in diapers for 8 and a half years...makes me need xanax just thinking about it! I think your gap is good! Your 5 year old will be so interested in the whole process from beginning til birth and will be fascinated by the baby. You are going to have lots of help from the older kids who are old enough to appreciate it! Just spend this time teaching independence to them, this will be your greatest help!

Congratulations and Good Luck!

I was 12 when my mom had my youngest sister; our other sister was 8. We loved playing with her and dressing her up. When she was very little, we would just take her for the day and let our mom have a break b/c she was just so tiny and cute. Because I was so much older, I was responsible for both of my sisters during summer vacation, and I did hate that. My only suggestion would just to make sure the older kids don't feel that they have to take care of the baby, and that they still can have one on one time with mom. Good luck and congratulations.

my children are 7years apart and they are wonderful together my son the oldest is the most helpful brother you could ask for.Me myself was worried about such a big gap between their age. but you would think they were around the some age because they still argue and tease each other but also love each other like siblings do,how wonderful to have another child,don't worry its going to be a grate experence.

Hi J.,
I have two boys (9 & 7) and one girl (2). When the baby was born my youngest son wanted nothing to do with her. He did ask if she had been born (they were at G'ma's) and if she was okay but that was it. For the first two weeks he wouldn't even look at her. My oldest wouldn't leave her alone! Now we are getting into a little trouble that she is VERY spoiled from her always getting her way with the boys. They found it easier to just give her what she wanted then teach her to share. (Oh the drama when she doesn't get her way). It is finally starting to level out, only on occassion do we hear that we aren't being fair or paying enough attention.
It is hard to find age appropriate activities for every one so sometimes I would truly recommend a babysitter for the little one!
Good Luck, In the end everyone will find their own way to relate to each other!

Hi J.,
Congrats on the upcoming baby! I'm the mother of 6. You are not crazy, you are blessed. My children range in ages from 13, 11, 8, 6, 4, and 3 years of age. A six year gap can be a wonderful mentoring role for your older children and you will have so much one on one with the newest little one. While I didn't have any trouble conceiving, God did bless us with a special needs child. Our only boy has down syndrome and is going to turn 5 very soon. I will be 40 this year. When we had our 4th child, it was a walk in the park because there were already 3 other children. Sibs will love being so hands on with the new baby. One idea we used was date night. Every so often we would take one of the children out for special one on one with mom and dad.
Take care and best wishes,
J. H.

Hi J.,

My sister is 8 years older than me and my brother is 6 years older than me. We played together well when I was young, but when they were teenagers they ignored me (typical - haha!). When I was a teen, I LOVED living alone with my parents. I have a fabulous relationship with them because of it.

My sister & I are now very close (began when I was in my early 20s) and my brother still treats me like I'm 6, but we get along well.

It's not such a bad thing - at least it wasn't for me.

Best of luck!!!

M.

I'm relating to you! I am 34 weeks and also pregnant with my 4th! My kids are 9, 12, and 14. When my baby is beginning to walk, my oldest will be learning to drive, my middle will be starting High School and the youngest starting Middle School. My kids are very excited about our Abby being on the way very soon. In terms of advice, some things I have been doing is giving them ownership of their new sister to be. They talk to her and love to feel her and watch her move. I also am talking to them about how they perceive their role in her life. Each has a different perspective of what they want to share with her about themselves. My daughter has her destined to be a actress and dancer. She plans to guard her from being a Tom Boy. One of my sons is looking forward to tossing her around! We have talked about being role models and how their behavior even now with their voices can impact her. I must say this is coming all too quick and I also recognize there are going to be some challenges as we all have found our own independence and will have a newborn very dependent on all of us. Hope this helps!
Take Care,
M.

Well, I am the expert in this area as 6 (roughly) is about the year difference between all four of our kids. I have a 22, 14, 8, 2 year olds. We didnt plan it that way it just happened to be when I got pregnant. The biggest pro is that the older siblings are big helpers!!! Especially the older you get and they do most of the chasing after the younger ones. The biggest con is that they are all in different developmental stages so it's hard to plan activities for the whole family. However the boys (oldest) all share a common interest of wrestling and video games that seems to blur the age difference alot.

It was fun to read all the reponses. I am due with Baby #4 in a week. My other children are 9, 7 and 6. I am hoping that this baby will not be too spoiled. My kiddos now are so well behaved, I hate to ruin the harmony! I am excited to find out how this new "adventure" is going to play out. Its fun to hear other moms and siblings experiences. I was 6 years older than my sister, so we always felt we had the best of both worlds--having a sibling but practically being only children. Good luck!

Well, this is from someone who for one reason or another has wide spaces between all of my children, but I have enjoyed it. My two boys just turned 17 & 12, and my daughter just turned 5. I am 38, and due to have our fourth (and last!) baby... a girl...in September. My boys are 5 years apart, and are really great brothers to each other. People have always noticed and commented on how well they get along, and actually enjoy each others company. The reprimands I have to give don't have anything to do with squabbles... it's usually that they are so loud and cracking each other up all the time. And they adore their little sister... she could not have two better brothers to look out for her. They think the sun rises and sets on her, so I have been VERY lucky here. My daughter is thrilled that we are now having another girl.. and I can only hope I am as lucky again, and that these two girls get a long just as well. You will have all that special time with your baby to just really enjoy it, and everyone can "baby" the baby. We have come to love Disney World (& Universal Studios) for family vacations... one of those places that has something for EVERYONE! Chances are, your older kids will ADORE this new baby... and what could be better than that? Congratulations!

J. there was a 6 year gap in my first 2 boys and I had 4 more children 2 years apart after that Your older children will be a lot of help to you, You may luck out and have great baby siters.Yours are the reverse of mine,I am older now, and they are all wonderful to me,your other children will be the ones to spoil your new baby .Don't worry and enjoy your pregnancy. M.

I have a brother 8 years younger than me and I really enjoyed taking care of him and playing with him when he was little!

Hi J.,
I have a 17 year old and a 3 year old, both boys, and couldn't be happier!
C.

Doesn't matter...it is a child that you have tried for and longed for and now it's coming. That child is a blessing and will be loved and cared for by more than just mommy....now you have children that are old enough to appreciate a little one, help you, and not be jealous. There are benefits to having children further apart.

This will be everyone's baby. And that would be the only advice I would give...remind everyone that this precious angel will be everyone's baby.

I too had a 6 year gap between my 3rd and fourth babies and it has been wonderful. I have a 14yo, 11yo, 8yo and last one is almost 2. the older ones just adore the younger one. Plus they were a great help when I came home from the hospital. Congratulations!!!!

I don't have kids yet but I had to chime in because my two cousins are six years apart and I always thought this was the best situation and considered that kind of gap for my kids. Both of them are so mature, level headed and sure of themselves (both girls). I'm convinced the age difference played a huge role in their personalities (and good parenting too of course!) They had the typical sibling rivalry but now that they are in their 20's they are best friends and both of them have done very well for themselves.

You are NOT crazy...it is a good gap! My children are 10 yr, 4 yr., and 7 months. The gap works great for me. I can't imagine having 2-3 in diapers at the same time!! It works good because my oldest is a wonderful help with things. The only thing that I can say is a bump is when my 10 year old wants to do things that aren't age appropriate for the younger 2. But, that's just a bump...we make time for the older kid activity with him. Good luck!!

First, congratulations! I say with experience, No big deal!!! I am the youngest, and my sisters are 6 and 8 years older than I. My parent's allowed me to have close friendships and friends over a lot to play and sleepovers. They also got me really involved in my own interests, while sharing interests with my older siblings. Now that we are all adults, there really isn't an age gap. Just encourage your new baby to be his/her own individual and let him/her have their own intersts and friends and successes. I would also encourage you to get the older kids to show interest in what the baby likes or to be good role models.
Have fun! God bless
L. M

I have a 7 yr old, 5yr old and now a 11 month old and it has been amazing! The older siblings adore their little sister! They ask to help me constantly, it is so nice! What a blessing! There are so many women out there who can't have any, enjoy your life everyday! And be grateful!!! :)

Hi,
I think it is a pretty good age range. We have four kids too. Their ages are ,,a 15 yr. old boy and then we have three little girls,,9,7,6. The girls play really well together and our son is happy to have his own room. The girls share a room but they love being close. Do you have boys and girls so far? Well I hope this encourages you! Have a great day!

I have 5 children, ages 25, 20, 16, 8 and 5. How about that age gap and you think you are crazy. Any way, obviously the older kids really have no thing in common with the younger ones and the two younger ones a boy and girl fight constantly, everyday about everything. Being pregnant at 38 was rough for me, actually being 43 now and chasing after a 5 year old son now is very tiring. That is just my situation. Best of luck to you and your upcomming angel from heaven!!!

How about a sibling view point? I am almost exactly 6 years older than my baby sister. Pros: I'm protective of her (still think of her as my baby sister), she got my hand me downs (although I'm sure that's more of a pro for Mom). Can't really think of any other pros off of the top of my head. Cons: Don't get along (now because I don't care for the way she's living her life) and (as a child because she was always wanting to play "MY" make believe games with me and well I guess I didn't think she was old enough), hmm, once again can't really think of any other cons.

I know there are times I think that we'd get along better had we been closer together in age, then I think of all the things we did do together. Overall, it's not the age difference, it's the temperment of the children. Of course another difference in my scenario is that it was ONLY me and sis and my cousins (my age and a year or two older than sis)that I ever had lot of association with. I was homeschooled, so I was never under any impressions that I was "playing with a baby", then again I love babies.. it might not have made a difference.

I think another difference is that you already have 3 children, the jealousy won't be as bad because they're used to having to share mommy. Plus I've decided that what's meant to be will be, since you're expecting child #4 then it must be in the stars. Any problems that arise from the birth of this child will only help everyone involved learn more. Plus the older the baby gets, the more he/she can play the big kid games.

Hi J.
I too have a big gap mine are 12.,9,7 1/2 almost 6 and almost one. We have lots of fun and the baby is loved by everyone. Though it feels like we have two youngest children sometimes. I am trying to make an effort to help my baby girl not just be a baby. Though she most likely will be our last child. Good Luck.

J. O

I'm the youngest of five by five years (due to being an OOPS). I had the best of both worlds, being an only child AND having a lot of siblings. The biggest advantage I had was understanding the world and adjusting to life a lot easier than many of my friends. When it came time to have my own children, I had watched what my brothers went through and found that they were a wonderful resource for information. (This held true for any stage in life for me).

I have 5 1/2 year old and 9 month old girls. I wanted them a year closer than they are but it has worked out really well, she loves being a big sister and my little helper. It did take some time getting used to starting all over again though.

If a children are more than 5 years apart in some ways it is easier because in some ways they are like an only child when the older children are off at school all your attention go to the younger one. ((Unless you Home School) Also only one in diapers at a time. And when you need a little me time, you can always ask the older sibling to watch the baby for an hour.

Children are a Blessing.. you are never to old till the Lord says no more.... Best of Luck

S.

J.,
My first son is going on 6, then I have a 9 month old son. I am 30 years old, it wasn't planned like this, but I had two miscarriages in between them. Personally, I think it is absolutely perfect for me. My first helps out, plus he is more independent, so he can get dressed, etc. by himself while I am tending to my baby. There is positives and negitives about having babies close and far, but it is whatever and whenever God wants to give you! Congratulations and enjoy the time you will be able to devote to your youngest!

I have 2 children, my daughter is almost 17 and my son just turned 9, yes that's 8 yrs difference. One thing I refused to do was to make my daughter responsible for her little brother, I was the one that chose to have the baby, even today I ask her just as if I were calling a babysitter if she can watch him (when and if I need her to) I have seen kids that were the oldest be "resposible for" their younger siblings, I know my mother worked a lot and that was the case for my older brother (he's 6 yrs older). This actually caused resentment on my brothers part. For the most part my kids love each other and get along very well... of course they still have their issues but what sibblings don't. I love having my kids at a gap like that because the kids will usually love playing with the baby. As with anything you will want to keep a routine going and make sure you set those boundries that kids need. When my son was very young I would do "Girls day out" with my daughter so she still got the 1-1 attention she was use to when she was an only child, this kept her from feeling left out. Now they switch weekends and on Saturday or Sunday one of them gets a day with mom, while the other one gets a day with dad. I say it's great!! Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff. Love your kids and you will be fine.

S.

I just want to say congrats, and good luck! I personally know that I can NOT have two babies! I made sure one was ATLEAST three before another! ha! ha! I just know that I like to give them the most attention individually. Mine are 15,11,5 and 19 months. They all love each other, and fight. It's totally on how YOU make it! It will be fantastic and that baby WILL be spoiled though! My DD is the last, we're done! And she's babied by all of us! So it's a good, yet bad thing! Just enjoy 'em! and again congrats! It's such a blessing!
Mom to four monkies ;P