4 Yr Old That Won't Sleep Alone

Updated on October 18, 2006
M.T. asks from Sarasota, FL
8 answers

I think I have seriously spoiled my daughter. She is now 4 and will not sleep alone. She either falls asleep in my bed and then I move her to her room or I have to lay in bed with her until she falls asleep. Most nights she wakes up in the middle of the night and crawls into my bed. She has also been wetting the bed and has what I call night terrors. I've tried having her use the restroom before going to bed and not giving much to drink right before bed. That has worked sometimes, but there are times she still has accidents. I spoke to a sleep disorder Dr regarding the night terrors and he said it's normal for young children especially when they are overtired. I have 3 other children, but none of them had this problem. I also have 3 stepchildren and my husband doesn't recall if any one of them having this happen. I want to know if anyone has experienced this that can give me some advice.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses. I see that I'm not alone and having 3 other children I thought I have seen everything. My oldest just turned 24 today and maybe things have changed, but the Dr's just don't seem as concerned. In the 80's it was like, oh babies should be potty trained by 2 and if they weren't there was a problem. Now they have pull-ups and I think it makes the kids lazy. But anyway we will get through this and again thank you.

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L.M.

answers from Sarasota on

i wish i could help but i have a TEN yr old who doesnt want to sleep in her own bed. she does most nights now but this wasnt the case until about 6 months ago. so i feel for you!

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M.N.

answers from Bloomington on

No real advice here but I did want to let you in on a little "matress saving" secret in the case of bedwetting. When I was potty training my daughter I bought those disposable diaper changing pads and put those between her matress and her sheets. They stay in place and if your daughter has an accident it will soak up the urine and protect the matress. The sheets still get wet but the mattress will stay dry. Just a little FYI thing.

Night Terrors...some kids have them and some don't. There is really nothing that you can do while the child is having one. Some of the ladies on the site have recommended to others with questions about night terrors about trying to keep the child from getting too tired, waking them up about 15 minutes or so before the terror normally starts and the like so you could try that for the night terrors.

I have pretty much the same sleep problem you do. My daughter falls asleep on the couch snuggled up to me, I then go and put her in her own bed and sometime in the middle of the night she ends up in my bed. However, this really does not bother me as I have become accustomed to it and actually and the rare occasion that she ends up staying in her bed all night I will wake up and have to go in and check on her to make sure that she is okay. I actually sleep better when she is with me. I know I am just way way overprotective.

Good luck and I will be looking to see if you get any good advice on the sleep issue.

M. N.

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T.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

M.,

I also have the same problem and have seemed to try everything under the sun to ger her to sleep in her bed. She is the youngest of four and the first to do this. She also still sleeps in a pull-up at night even though she has been potty trained for years. She can go to sleep in her bed but during the night she's up banging on doors. We think that it was due to my divorce that she doesn't sleep in her bed and has what they call the night terrors. Good luck and please let me know if you hear any good suggestions.

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S.J.

answers from Tampa on

as far as bed wetting I am still trying to figure that out!!! My 3 year old is potty trained but almost evrey night wets the bed andit is tiresim doing laundry everyday and waking up evry night when she does. I dont believe in pullups but I am really thinking of getting some I wish I had more advice on that but I wanted to let you know you arent the only one going though it. also as far as falling asleeo with you,I would make her go to sleep by herself it will be hard at first but after a a few nights she should be fine! good luck!!!!!

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C.W.

answers from Ocala on

i went through the same thing with my oldest son. He is just now turning 4 in november. His crys in the middle of night were horrid. and the worst part is we couldnt wake him up most of the time. So what did i do....what didnt i do. try a night light that at least gives her some security that things dont go bump in the night because she can see. Slap a pull up on her for night time for the moment you have to get her over being scared first. I dont care if you cut her down to 4 cups a day wih her meals only she will still pee. Give her a snugglie(stuff animal, doll, somthing) this will give her something to hug in case she gets scared. As far as her climbing in bed with you i havent figured that one out yet mine still does it lol. but i get him back in his own bed as soon as i realize he is in there this trains them to start to stay in their bed. Let her go to her room and lay down with the night light and her snugglie and explain best you can that mommie cant stay because she has some business to do arund the house like laundry or dishes or something. Then she will know your not leaving the house and you will be there if she wakes up. and reassure her that your only down the hall if she needs you. hope this helps good luck and if you figure out the getting in bed with you thing please let me know! lol

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N.J.

answers from Sarasota on

I also have this sleep problem with my 3 yr old, she falls asleep in our bed and either me or my fiance have to move her and then sometime during the night she crawls back into our room.When we put her to bed in her room she goes into histerics(sp??)We are currently trying new ways..and if any of them work..Ill let you know.
As for potty training,she isnt yet, were working on it..so I dont have those bed wetting problems..

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S.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I had the same problem with my 3 year old until recently about not wantint to sleep alone. My husband actually helped with this. What we did was didnt give my son anything to drink after 6 or 7, then right before we put him to bed we made him go potty and then we took him into his room started reading him stories at night and then both gave him a kiss and told him he had to stay his big boy bed until sun came up and it took a good couple of weeks to get it to finally work but eventually it worked. get a bed time routine down and stick to it, it might take a while but it will eventually work.

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C.K.

answers from Tallahassee on

Hi, it will all work itself out. One thing you can do is limit her drinking after dinner to just a few swollows of water,and have her go to the bathroom before she goes to bed.
If you haven't tried a night light in her room you might want to try that.Those are a few of the things that have worked with mine. Mine never have had night terrors but my granddaughter does they seem to be triggered by a couple of different things over tired or soemthing upsetting her alot.
I have heard of some that give their child tylenol when they know the child is over tired to help them relax so they can rest. As for the sleeping with you that will be harder to break, always make her go to sleep in her own bed and if she crawls in bed with you put her back in her bed. You could also try a reward system until she gets better about it like if she sleeps 2 whole nights in her own bed in a row she gets a small toy or she gets to watch a favorite show something small and then move on to a week then 2 weeks and so on till she is sleeping her her bed more than with you.
Hope these ideas help.
C.

C.

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