My 4 month old son will not nap in his crib. I am trying to read his clues that he is tired and will give him his pacifier and lay him in his crib, but he will start to fuss and eventually cry. He then acts as if he is hungry and if I nurse him or dad gives a bottle he will then fall asleep in our arms. But, once we try to lay him down, he wakes up and begins fussing or crying again. So, the only way he gets his afternoon nap in is either if I nap with him on the couch or I am out running errands and he'll sleep in his carseat. I am worried that I have gotten into a bad habit of nursing him to sleep (or him needing to eat in order to fall asleep) and holding him while he sleeps.
A little more information: he sleeps really good at night in his crib, about 9 hours straight and has less trouble going down than in the afternoon.
He will be going to in-home daycare in November and I am worried that he will not nap while he is there and I would like to try and break this habit now. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to get him to nap in his crib???
thanks!
We had the same problem. I just keep putting her in her crib at nap-time. Sometimes she sleeps and sometimes she cries. I don't let her cry very long but I do let her fuss and make other noises. She is getting better with time but we try to be consistent.
i want to assure you that you are not teaching him that he needs to nurse when going to sleep. it might be a long time before he does go to sleep without nursing, but it will end.
it all depends on what you want to do. it sounds like you are doing whats right for you and your baby by tending to his needs! keep it up! you can start giving water in a cup around 6 or 7 months and see if its just a drink thing, using a pacifier, much more reliable than the thumb, and easier to get rid of later!
i will tell you my story. i nursed my son until JUST recently when he weaned himself - he is almost 20 months old. he nursed a LOT while going to sleep, and would not sleep in his crib AT ALL until around or after a year old. i figured it was nice that he would accept no substitute for good old mom and dad :D!
i will be the first to tell you it is exhausting! i will also be the first to tell you that i wouldnt change a thing! my son has, for about 3 months, been able to be laid down in his crib, and he will go right to sleep, no fuss, no crying, no tantrum, and he will sleep through the night. he does wake up sometimes around 4-6 am and wants to be with us, especially lately since hes been sick, but he has many times now just slept in his bed, or been able to be laid back down in his bed after a drink of water or something.
the important thing to note, mom, is that you are doing the right thing by responding to your son, and doing the things that will help him to grow in a healthy attachment relationship! this will be important later when he goes to day care, because he will judge your reaction strongly when being dropped off.
make sure you can go there a couple times before actually leaving him there for care. watch how he reacts. im going to assume as an attached baby, he will watch your reaction, go play a little, come back to you, go play a little... this is a GOOD sign, a sign that he trusts you and he wants to come back to you to 'touch base' with mom. most kids just run off from mom and dont even notice when she leaves, or they cling so strongly that mom feels horrible leaving. if you are securly and healthily attached, baby will trust you and your leaving him there, that you will return, and he is safe.
i know it was a little off the topic... but i am really encouraged that you are having these feelings about responding to your son. heres another suggestion. buy a moby wrap! they are extremely comfortable compared to other slings i have used, and even though they range around 50$, they are money WELL spent. i got mine when my son was 16 months old, so even though i can still use it, i was sad that i hadnt bought one before! i use it for a baby in my day care that refuses to let me put him down. it is awesome! the minute i get him all wrapped up in it, he stops crying and is either in that quiet observation mood, or he goes right to sleep. this will help you be able to do things while baby sleeps, after all, he spent 9 months inside your womb being rocked by your motion, its most natural to want to be like that after hes born too! and the more you can honor and respect those feelings, the more securly your baby will trust and attach to you.
trust me, you wont regret it - the hard work you put in now will help you in the future! :D\
any questions just ask!
Does your baby nap in the morning in his crib? Or does he 'resist' any daytime sleeping in the crib? I have two daughters, six and four years old, and one son - three months old. Since the birth of my first daughter, I have used the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child as a reference for anything sleep related. Do you put your baby to sleep awake? Does he like to be swaddled? Our three month old falls asleep like a charm but if we don't swaddle him tight (and I mean tight) he wakes himself up by moving his arms around. We actually have to do this for day and nighttime. He sometimes fights hard to have his arms out and at some point we'll have to forgo the swaddling but for now, we're going with what works.
One other thing that I had to do (even with the swaddling) when I started having him nap in his crib (instead of in my arms) at two months old was go to him a couple of times to help him settle down. I didn't talk to him or anything like that, was all business - I would wrap him back up in his blanket, give him is pacifier and rock him if necessary - then lay him back down. Sometimes I had to do the same thing three or four times but I was intent on having him start sleeping in his crib! He's doing much better now.
Depending on your comfort level, you could also try letting him cry it out (CIO). I actually used CIO with both of my daughters and they became very good sleepers once they learned to fall asleep on their own. I haven't actually done that with my son because he seems to sleep better than they did at this age but mostly because we have two other kids in the house whose sleep would be interrupted if we did that (and maybe it has a little something to do with the fact that he's our last and I can't bear to hear him cry :) ) Either way, if you choose to let him cry or keep going to him and comforting him - just be consistent. If you're consistent, you'll see results - it might take longer than you want but stick with it (whatever it is you choose to do) and you'll be on the right track. Best of luck to you!
Wow, we had the same issue around the same time. My son who is now 8 months old, would sleep in his crib at night and wake up just once...during the day he might sleep in his crib, but it was never a good enough nap. We let him sleep in his infant seat and he would do that for a long time.
Now he takes naps in his crib and they can last up to two hours. There just comes a time when they want to stretch out more when they sleep and they'll appreciate the crib.
Maybe get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weisbluth. It gives good advice on sleep training your child, however, he does recommend the "crying it out" theory. I have 5.5 month old b/g twins and we have used his theory with our little girl and it is amazing...I can lay her in her crib wide awake when it is nap time now and she will just go right to sleep. It is WONDERFUL!! We did not have to do a lot of crying either. (Still working on our son...he is a "tougher nut to crack" LOL!!!) GOOD LUCK!!!
He may be getting enough sleep at night and is trying to tell you that he doesn't need as much of a nap. But at his age, he more likely is just accepting the cues you are giving him that it is nap time. Your routine at night tells him it is time to sleep and he accepts that. Your routine during the day keeps changing as you are trying to figure out how to get him to nap. You need to give him consistent messages about what is expected. If you expect him to go down at a certain time during the day, follow the same routine nearly every day so that he knows what to expect. You may need to let him cry it out a few days, but by laying down with him one day or putting him to sleep in the car another day, he is confused. Don't worry about daycare, they will establish a routine that he will learn to accept. The key to dealing with young children is consistency and predictability. Routine is your friend.
It is not a bad habit to allow your baby to fall asleep nursing or sleeping in your arms; they become more aware of what they need as they get older. I am sure my outlook is totally absurd to some but it is good to give a baby what he needs, so when he is grown up he's not continually searching for what he didn't get when he needed it. Why not get yourself a baby sling? You can teach his daycare provider how to use the sling too, so he feels soothed even when you leave him for a few hours. The sling is a wonderful tool for attachment parenting and it helps foster closeness between the baby and his folks. It also becomes a 'lovey' which, if used regularly and well, he will soon prefer on it's own as much as he prefers you (i.e., you've got a secure child on your hands and you are freed up much sooner). I also suggest letting him fall asleep in the sling (eventually he will not need to nurse in order to fall asleep in it), and once he is asleep, while standing over your bed remove the sling while keeping him in it and lay him down in the crib. The sling works as a little blankie. Works like a charm. Good luck!
Babies are accustomed to being in a warm, dark space to sleep. He is probably uncomfortable. Swaddling him in a blanket and with a cotton hat on (even in the summer) can help him to feel warm and cozy.
Try this trick: Lay a pillow on your lap and put him on top as you nurse him to sleep. After he falls asleep turn him so that he is sleeping on his tummy, lying over the pillow. Now just lift the pillow up and place him where you want him to sleep. Be sure to cover him up and make sure the room is very dark.
Soothing music on very low will help to make him feel like he is with others (just like in your belly) so that he can continue to sleep safely.
I did this with my second child and it worked like a charm.
My 5-month old daughter is the same way. She sleeps in the swing or bouncer at daycare 95% of the time. On the weekends, we usually end up taking a walk when she seems to be getting tired and then let her keep sleeping in the stroller. I'd prefer she'd sleep in her crib or pack 'n play, but as long as she's getting a nap and not cranky by bedtime, I'll take it.
As far as nursing to sleep, my daughter does that as well. (Well, bottle in our case.) My husband was concerned about that as well, but in my research, it doesn't seem to be a bad thing at this age. Some nights she'll go to sleep without a bottle, but most nights she at least needs an ounce or two "top off" to go to sleep. But like your son, then sleeps through the night well. I'm not going to be really concerned yet. When it does seem to be an issue is once they have teeth and if you give them a bottle of formula or juice to fall asleep with and they end up falling asleep with the liquid in their mouth, doing damage to the teeth.
Hold him and nurse him until he is relaxed, but put him in his crib before he actually falls asleep. Babies wake up when they are moved. Even if you can lay him down in the crib quietly, if he then stretches or partially wakes up, he'll realize he isn't where he fell asleep, and freak out.
Everyone has their own opinions on "crying it out," and I know it's a hot topic. I will share my advice and what worked for me, you can take it for what it's worth. When my son was 2 1/2 months old, we started letting him cry it out for 5 minutes. We would actually watch the clock, and if he was still fussing at 5 minutes, we would go in once, give him his pacifier, and soothe him a bit. We never picked him up at that point. We would leave, and the vast majority of the time, he would then fall asleep. The rare times he would keep crying, we would go back in after 5 more minutes, and pick him up and check his diaper, rock him, whatever he needed. As he got older, we would increase the number of minutes.
Also, it's not too early for a naptime routine: a special blanket or stuffed animal, a short song, a book.
i have a 4month old also and i am worried about nursing to sleep at night and day time . she naps well in the car or stroller. the past few days i have started something different. for a few nights i would sing a couple of songs while i get her ready for bed and at the first part of nursing (twinkle twinkle little star she seems to love). i now sing the same songs when i change her before nap time and hold her in her dark room singing a bit and then lay her down. she still crys but it seems to be getting a shorter time period. some time are better than other. i let her cry for 15 min and go check on her tell her i'm still here and i love her and then leave again. if your stressed they will be too. Remember to relax, its hard to relax sometime i know. just do whatever u think is right for you and your son you know best.
My daughter would only sleep sitting up for about 6 mos. At daycare, they put her in a bouncy chair for naps. And at home she slept in a bouncy chair also. Many times she would fall asleep in her carseat & I'd just put her seat & all in her room.
I'd let him sleep in a chair or carseat, just make sure he is safe (strap him in, put the seat on the floor or in the crib).
