4 1/2 Year Old Boy Potty Needs

Do you have a particular reason for wanting him to poop in the morning? I've never been concerned about what time of day my kids poop, so I don't have any experience with trying to get them to change that.

Unless you have a really important reason, I would just leave him be and let him poop whenever his body tells him it's time. Personally, I don't go at the same time everyday, so I wouldn't expect my kids to, either.

It sounds like you poop in the mornings. Maybe your husband poops in the mornings. It sounds like you think that everyone poops in the mornings.

Why do you think this is the case? It isn't.

Your son poops when he needs to.

Talk to your son's pediatrician about the issue of pooping. Get advice about food that is best for making him regular - not constipated (which makes us not want to go) and about foods that keep his stools from being too loose (which makes his bottom sore). And stop expecting him to have morning poops until his body tells him that morning poops are normal for HIM.

Your child can only control 2 things in his young world - toileting and eating. If you put too much pressure on him, you will make it so that he fights you and it will just frustrate you all. He is NOT an adult in a child's body. He is a child and you should not expect him to understand that he is fighting you. Instead, be KIND to him and let him poop when he needs to and stop trying to micromanage his toileting.

What exactly is the problem? Poop can't be scheduled, it just happens when it's time.

I'm not sure why you think his intestines can tell time! I'm not sure why you think TV will make him poop. Everyone's body is different, and if he's having issues, it may well be because you are making such a big deal over pooping on a particular schedule. He's been asleep all night, he hasn't had a lot to eat or a lot of activity, yet you seem to feel that's the proper time for a bowel movement. If you don't believe us moms, talk to your pediatrician to learn what is normal.

Stop telling him when to go. Let him go when he needs to. It will probably take a while and he may have some accidents because you've tried to convince him that he's wrong to go during the day. You have to back off and stop discussing this, and let him figure out his own body's signals.

It's one thing to say to a child, "Hey, we're leaving the house so please go pee before we go." Most everyone can relieve their bladder even if it's not full. But pooping? I think you're asking him to do something that no one in the world can do, and you're setting up a big battle of wills.

Many people don't poop by the clock.
You got to go when you got to go - and that's often at a different time every day.
Unless they come up with a synchronized sport for this - I really wouldn't worry about it.

People don't always poop on schedule, he will poop when he feels the urge to go.

I am guessing that he's not able to go to daycare because he's not fully potty trained. Would having him have a BM before he goes to daycare (so no accidents there) mean he could go? Not sure I follow.

Adults can be somewhat regular in the mornings because when we eat, it stimulates our colons to rid ... etc. for some people. The main thing though with adults is caffeine - a colon stimulator. That's why it appears that for some adults, they are really regular.

And there are some adults who are on very rigid diets - eat the same thing every day, at the same time (think older people), have the bran ..and who are just regular. I do think some feel they can train their bodies to go at certain times. Maybe you can ...

However, to do this to a child who is potty training - I don't think is a good idea. I've never heard of this with BM's. Nor pee to be honest. You go when you go. The reason you can say Go have a pee, before you leave the house is because generally there's always something there. It's not the same with a BM (not with my kids anyhow). I've never been able to say that. Ever.

So I wouldn't waste my time if I were you. That would be my advice. Also I think it might screw up your potty training efforts. I let my kids sit with a book sometimes on the potty (that was in initial stages of training but more for pee) and that was for fun only, just initially.

*Utimately - the more you frig with their natural body processes, the more messed up it will be later on. I had a friend who really did a number on her kid with potty training. It got so that her kid would only have BM's at her house with a ritual - so if he hadn't gone in the morning, she couldn't go out of the house in afternoons. Then she had to have another ritual to break him of that ritual. A lot of stress really.

Good luck :) It will come. I always kept a potty nearby my kids (even while playing) and just hung out with them for a weekend, with them in underwear only and looked for cues. When I saw they looked like they were 'straining' then I said "Oh here we go!" and they clued in that straining meant a BM was on the way and to sit on the potty. Very soon after, they could walk to the toilet and have it there.

Our son went to daycare when he was little, and they actually played a huge role in helping him to toilet train. Honestly, they did most of the work, we just tried to continue it at home.

Did a daycare center tell you that your son could not attend unless he was toilet trained? Maybe talk to them and see if you can work together to help him.

You said he will poop at different times. Does he poop on the toilet? Or is he having accidents. Because when he poops shouldn't be the concern so much as whether or not he makes it to the toilet on time and doesn't have an accident.

neither of my kids poop in the mornings. i don't poop in the morning! not sure why you think your child should be forced to poop in the morning. if they can successfully poop on the potty any other time then there is not issue and you need to just let him be.
if hes using a diaper to poop in the morning then thats a whole other issue and if thats the case then edit your post to show that is what is going on.

If he is going on the toilet other times of day, I would be very happy. Maybe he doesn't have to go in the mornings. Not everyone does. If you can count on him telling you when he has to go, later in the day, I would just leave him alone. You don't want to discourage him wanting to go by putting too much pressure on him. You also don't want to mess with his bodily functions. That could backfire. Talk with the daycare again and let them know what is happening. They have to be ok with kids going at all different times of the day or they are not a very good daycare.

When I was little, my mom tried to train me to poop in the morning and get it out of the way...apparently it;s some kind of generational Cuban thing....well...it didn't work for me ....if your munchkin poops regularly daily regardless of the time of day, I wouldn't worry about it....if he's constipated (and that doesn't count not being able to poop 1st thing so I've learned) that's a whole other thing....you can't always control when you gotta go...you go when you gotta go, plain and simple!
Good luck

You gotta go WHEN you gotta go.

Do you poop according to what time of day it is? I've never heard of anything so...controlling before.

I have owned a child care center and I know we can't change diapers in any rooms past the 2 year old room. Kids that have accidents have to be cleaned up so they do tend to not want to have one that isn't potty trained.

But I can guarantee you that they go poop all hours of the day. They do not have to poop on demand at a set time of day or not at all.

If you work he should be in child care. If you don't work then he could stay home, go to a preschool program, or actually be in pre-K with his peers.

In the fall he could go to pre-K or kindergarten depending on when his birthday is. But all in all, if he's going poop at some other time of day and going in the potty then he's good. If he's not getting it in the potty then perhaps he does need to go to child care so they can work with him on that. Sometimes another person can make progress when we're not.

There are cultures where having a morning poop is considered a good start to the day. Not sure if this is coloring your expectation. If so, speak with your parents, friends and family. They might have tips on how to make this happen in a child.

Best
F. B.

i'm not getting why you're so invested in him pooping in the mornings. i dunno, perhaps adults can train their bowels to cooperate with a clock, but i've never heard of a 4 year old who could, and certainly never heard a good reason why they should.

i mean, coffee takes care of me, but probably not a great solution for a small boy.

what do you mean by 'potty issues'? is he pooping in his pants?

your methods confuse me mightily. i don't get why pooping in the morning is a big deal, nor why you think that peeing will somehow stimulate a bowel movement. i'm no doctor, so maybe this is something i've just never encountered.

don't put the tv on in the bathroom for your young son. seriously.

how about if quit focusing on this issue and take the pressure off the poor little fellow. when he soils his diaper, calmly and without scolding or negative judgment teach him how to clean himself appropriately and get clean pants. when he does relax enough to start recognizing the signs and getting to the toilet in time, give him mild praise but don't hold a ticker tape parade.

sounds to me as if this a huge deal for you and you've turned it into a huge deal for your little boy who is not mature enough to cope with your anxiety about it. it's turned into a mountain in his head.

chill out, mama.
khairete
S.