32 Month-old and Potty Training

My friend had success explaining to their child that the store's ran out of diapers and that once they were through this pack, that was it. It gave the child time to prepare and internalize what was coming, and successfully switched usage to potty only. Good luck!
J.

unless you want want lots of accidents-don't push it. It will come. Take her to the bathroom w/you though-when you go #2 so she can see you. Also "every body poops" and other books help. But this is the harder one. Just constantly remind her and gently tell her that everyone's poop goes in the toilet. But don't punish her for accidents.

S

Mom of four here. She will do it when she is ready, and she obviously isn't ready yet. When you wait until they are ready, potty training is a breeze! She isn't even three yet. Don't rush her or try to force it. Poop can take quite a bit longer than pee. As first-born, she is your starter kid so she is dealing with a "rookie mom". We've all been there! Seems like we always rush the first-born towards that next milestone, especially when there is a sibling that arrives soon after. Take the pressure off her, understand that she is simply not ready, and wait 3-6 months until you give it another try. I think we all know not to listen to (or even read) a certain Julie's advice. Scary stuff! Apparently her kids all graduated from Harvard by the age of four. :0)

P.,

My son was almost 3 before he potty trained completely. I was so frustrated. I tried everything like you said. He wanted to be in control and had a fit if I even asked him to use the potty. I finally left him be for about 2 weeks and he did it on his own. He told me one day that he wanted to wear big boy underwear and he has been potty trained every since. I think everything I was trying previously was putting too much pressure on him. She will do it when she's ready. She won't be in diapers when she starts kindergarten so just relax. Good luck!

L.

My daughter too had that nervous laugh. When we tried to discuss it with her she'd change the subject so it was clear she was embarrassed about it. We eventually figured out that she didn't mind if mom or dad stayed in the bathroom while she did a pee pee but for poo poo she needed privacy so when she showed signs of needing to go we'd take her to the potty and ask her if she'd like us to leave. She always said yes... she was just too shy to tell mom and dad to go away.

My girl potty trained perfectly with pee at 2 1/2 but it was a FULL YEAR before she would poop on the potty. Reassure her that she's doing a great job with pee, but when she wants to poop, she either needs to use the potty or ask for a diaper. That was our solution. She would ask for a diaper, I'd put one on, she would poop, and she would wear her panties again. Your daughter has some sort of mental block that she needs to work through, and it is really something she needs to do herself. She will eventually. Really. Just work out a system that is neater than messing up those cinderella panties!

This is actually pretty common. My daughter was the same way. She'd pee but not poop. After lots of questions (gently), I finally found out she was afraid of falling in the toilet or losing part of herself in the toilet when pooping. I guess it sorta makes sense that if poop drops into the toilet who knows what else falls in there (lol). Anyways, I just hand her a diaper and let her put it on when she needs to go. In the meantime, try to find some way to ease her fears. What did the trick for us was getting a toilet seat reducer to put over our toilet. (She'd been using her own little potty that we empty into the toilet.) We got a PRIMO ducka (on amazon). She loved the duck shape and used it the very next time she had to go. And that was that.
It's important to not pressure her, this only makes it worse. At its worse, it may make her stutter. I've seen this happen to my SIL's son. Just ease off for a while and try again later. Kids have many fears that they can't express yet.

HI P.,

Just so you know, you are not alone. My daughter will be three in September. Her brother is 5. At first she would pee in the potty but not poop. Now she will only poop in the potty, but refuses to pee. I just go with the "she's not ready yet" school of thought. She is around alot of other "big" girls and it does not influence her. Which will be a good thing in the future right! Just hang in there and remember this all goes by so fast in the big picture of things.

What worked for me was to put my child in underwear and when he had an accident I would say "Oh no, its okay, we will clean it up together" and together we picked up the poop and put it in the toilet and washed our hands together.

Babe sleeps in underwear at age 2 years and 7 months and wakes up dry 97% of the time, including his nap.

The feel of a diaper or even a pull up motivates children not to be motivated to get up and let you know they need to poop so you can sit them on the toilet or the potty seat.

But the cloth feel of underwear reminded him. I got him thick training pants underwear that are in colors like red, blue, green (no need to bleach them white if they were white training pants and deal with a child with a skin sensitivity to bleach)

It helped when I would get babe after I woke up in the middle of night to pee, to get babe and sit him on the toilet and he pees. Babe is a day pooper or a nap pooper he just recently started waking up from his nap to poop on the toilet because he got sick of having poop accidents that we both had to clean up together.

Good luck! :)

She might not be ready, and I would say don't worry too much because it will definitely happen. But once you can get her to poop on the potty even once, she will get the concept and your problem should be over.

You might want to hang out in the bathroom with her while she sits on the potty for as long as she will tolerate it, especially if she has that "pooping" look or actions (forgive the description, but I bet you know what I mean). We had a book, "My Big Girl Potty" that I read over, and over, and over during those trips to the bathroom. I tried not to rely I any bribes since those will have to go away at some point, but we had very joyful celebrations and excited phone calls to grandma, daddy, etc. to help encourage continuing good outcomes.

Also, since it is summer, try letting her run around naked, or without any bottoms at least. My two girls would go in their panties like they were a diaper, but somehow seemed very aware that nothing on their bottom half meant that they needed to find the potty.

You're doing fine, hang in there!

It is very tricky with the potty training. First, be careful with making your daughter not feel like it is her choice (something we learned early on-our daughter just fought it and regressed big time). Second, perhaps white grape juice may help. Our pediatrician said prune juice is effective, but usually causes gas. If she is feeling this during the day, but doesn't notice it at night, then that could be holding her back perhaps. The diapers may make it such that she isn't worried about failing with doing it on the potty. It is hard because you are working, but if she is not in daycare/preschool, perhaps the person watching her can really work with her throughout the day and that may help. Consistancy is what really helped us. I don't know if any of this will even be helpful, but I wish you the best of luck!
Always watch for cues that she is ready and don't worry about keeping up with other mom's kids. It will happen in time. Each kid is different.
U.

Hi P.,
I don't really have any advice other than she probably is just not ready. I tried for months with my 3 yr old son and he resisted and then I kind of let it go for a while and one day he just did it without even telling me. He was 3 yrs and 2 months old. So, she's just not ready, but do not worry cuz she's not that old yet. Give her time.

Try having her be without panties while you're at home.

Know what? She is not ready. It really is that simple. I went through the same thing because of pressure from my mom and other "old school parenting" people and realized I was just stressing out my daughter and not supporting a relationship based on trust, patience and love. My best advice comes from the GoToMom.TV Kimberley Blaine says, "do you know any adults who aren't potty trained?" From the time my daughter was born 7 years ago, I turned to Kimberley for a real expert's advice. Check out her web site: http://www.thegotomom.com/ My daughter finally potty trained at 3 years and 3 months. Just in time to start a new pre-K program! And only after I decided not to push her;-) Your little gal is right on target!

It seems like it is normal for kids to take a bit longer with the poop part. when she's ready she'll do it. She may not actually be aware when she has to poop, and until they recognize the feeling it isn't possible. my extremely bright daughter was 3 1/2 before she pooped in the potty. Sounds like your daughter is doing just fine. With most things when I let things go they naturally happen immediately. This is only my experience. Hope it helps. Best, H.

I would highly suggest getting the book "Everybody Poops." It definitely helped my little one get the concept and it was a fun book for him to read too - he often asked to read it at bedtime he liked it so much! You may want to stop trying for a month or two, and then reinitiate the process - of course still letting her go on the potty when she wants to. We had to do that because we realized he wasn't as ready as we throught the first go round, so we stopped the process and when he seemed a little bit more ready we tried it again. It was much easier when he was truly ready to potty train, we had just misread the signals of readiness the first time. Each child is a bit different as to when they are ready to switch over.

Best of luck to you!

Julie L is right! Chart your daughters bowel movements. I would ditch the diapers altogether. I bought the thick training underwear and I had my child wear two at a time for extra thickness. Have her stand there and wash out her own underwear. Remind her how yucky it is.

I potty trained my two sons, both day and night in two weeks. I house broke a puppy in two weeks... Stay home, be consistent, praise and reward. If she makes a poopy mess, she helps clean it up...

Soon going potty in the toilet will be easier than dealing with it in her pants.
Does she have a little friend potty training? Hook up with another Mom and do this together.

Your second child will be easier... your daughter can teach the younger child.

Good luck!

She's telling you she's not ready. Drop it for a while and try again in a few months. It's not likely she'll go to high school in diapers.

Hi Page, let me start off with, never allow a child to refuse to do what you tell them,I give this advice to at least one mama a day. I see a lot of that in parenting today. At almost 3 she should not only be pooping in the potty she should be using the toilet ad going on her own, I think part of the problem sweetie is parents are starting the potty training so late. Also when you use diapers and panties, it's confussing, becasuse what youare telling her it's OK to pee and poop on your self at night but not during the day. The day I put training pants on my babies, was the day the diapers went awy for ever. When the bidy is ready to relaease a bowl momvement she won'[t be able to control that, most kids poop around the same time each day/evening you need to catch her at that time and you need to makr her stay there until she goes, eventually she will go, at 3 she is probably to big for the potty chair. that's one reason why you have to start them while they are still small enough to sit on one, when I used to put my babies on the potty, I put it in front of the TV, MY first born used to love the price is right, that's an hour show, he watched it sitting on the potty, he was only 20 months old, but by 21 months he was completely trained and by 2 he was ususing the toilet, it's not the kids, it's how it is being done. One question for you, is there discipline, consequiences for pooping in her pants? if not then why not do it? Be lovely firm, but be firm. J.