K.B. asks from Houston, TX on March 08, 2009
3 Yr Old and the Alphabet
hi...i'm new to mamasource...but it seems really helpful from what i've read...anywho i have a 3 year old son...he will be 4 in August and he knows his alphabet (well his teacher tells me he participates and i believe her) but at home he told me 'i learn at school mommie, you are not my teacher' he totally REFUSES to practices his letters (writing and flashcards) at home. I told him that he would lose all his toys since he said that he 'will not try, and he can't do his letters'...i'm at a loss b/c he will soon be with the 4 year olds and he has no desire to practice or try his letters at home...any advice...oh when i said i would give away his toys he proceeded to bring me more toys to give away and asked 'when are we going to the children to give away the toys'...so he's a bit on the stubborn side...will this subside
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So What Happened?™
hi everybody...thanks soooooo much for all the responses they have been beyond helpful...i did give back some of his toys but we are giving away 2...one he picked and one i picked...and i'm happy about that and then do you all want to know what happened...tonight when we were reading a book called 'Drive'...and i always ask him to say tell me the letters that he recognizes on the title...well tonight i wasn't going to do that, i was just going to read and the little guy asked 'mommie can i tell you the letters that i know'...oh my goodness you all i wanted to cry...it touched my heart and you know what...he said 3 out of the 5 letters and i was so excited and he was having fun...of course he has this story memorized and so he told it to me tonight and it was wonderful...i will still continue to update you all on other techniques that i will try that are helpful...thanks again for all the help and support...
Featured Answers
L.T. answers from Austin on March 09, 2009
hmmmm....he's 3. Give him a break; i never pushed any of this and my son is now 5 and reads great. He'll learn when he's ready and if you push him at this early of an age he'll just learn to hate it...or to do it for you, not himself, which is just as bad.
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A.A. answers from Austin on March 09, 2009
Three is way too young to be doing homework. It is much more important to his brain development that he be given the time for free play....PLAY is how they learn. Consider it is job right now to play and learn that way. He will do much better in school and life if he has that opportunity.
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C.B. answers from Austin on March 09, 2009
This is a simple control issue; let it alone for a few weeks, then try again...over chicken nuggets. Make it a game, "Mommie knows this letter, she gets to eat a nugget". He'll be fine.
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C.M. answers from Houston on March 09, 2009
I am now a stay at home mom, but I taught kindergarten and pre-k for seven years. My degree is in early childhood education. The typical three year old is NOT developmentally ready to sit an write letters and do flash cards. It is SO important that you make it a positive experience, not a threatening one. By forcing the issue you could cause your child to resent reading and formal learning. Other ways to work on letters with your child CASUALLY would be:
- Point out environmental print as you drive around. For example, "Hey there is a McDonald's sign. It starts with M just like your name, Matthew." Typically, at the beginning, children are most interested in the letters that are in their names.
- Play with play dough with him and make the shapes of letters. "Look, I made a letter S."
- Get some magnetic letters for the refrigerator.
- Most importantly, READ, READ, READ to your child. Children are like little sponges. Model pre-reading skills for him like pointing to the words as you read them. The more you read, the more your child will understand that the letters on the page make words and the words go together to make sentences. Then he will know there is meaning to what is on the page. Take him to the library and let him pick out books that interest HIM.
Good luck and have fun with him!
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T.E. answers from Houston on March 09, 2009
"Play" school with him and see if he will do it, if not then cut the boy a break!! he's only 3!!
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L.T. answers from Austin on March 09, 2009
hmmmm....he's 3. Give him a break; i never pushed any of this and my son is now 5 and reads great. He'll learn when he's ready and if you push him at this early of an age he'll just learn to hate it...or to do it for you, not himself, which is just as bad.
2 moms found this helpful
A.A. answers from Austin on March 09, 2009
Three is way too young to be doing homework. It is much more important to his brain development that he be given the time for free play....PLAY is how they learn. Consider it is job right now to play and learn that way. He will do much better in school and life if he has that opportunity.
2 moms found this helpful
M.B. answers from Beaumont on March 09, 2009
It is not developmentally appropriate for a three almost four year old to be forced to work on his alphabet. Just let him play and enjoy him. He will be burned out and hate school before he even gets there.
I teach first grade and am appalled at the heavy handed daycare/preschool tactics. They show no knowledge of appropriate preschool activities. Children learn through play and being read to, etc.
He is right you should not be forcing him to do that. Just be his mom and love him and read to him.
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J.F. answers from Houston on March 09, 2009
One of my customers is a kindergarten teacher and she told me to put on www.starfall.com for my boys and they love it. They don't even realize they are learning. You could also tell him the teachers told you to practice at home with him....mine seem to do whatever the teacher says...go figure. Good luck.
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C.G. answers from Austin on March 09, 2009
It sounds like you are a committed parent who really wants the best for your son. However, I might say that your expectations are a bit hight for your 3 year old.
If he is in school all day, he needs time to decompress, just like adults do. Plus, he probably isn't getting that much from flash cards. Kids at this age, learn from play... so maybe make up some games if you are insistent that he do learning games at home, but remember, there are lots of other things that preschoolers need to "learn"... helping around the house, playing, etc...
He is going to be on target for Kinder...really. Plus, do you really want to get into a power struggle over this? Think after a full day how much you just want to relax... so does he!
Have fun.
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L.A. answers from Austin on March 08, 2009
I think you need to give him a break at home. He is young for homework. You do not want to burn him out since in just a few years he will have real homework which will continue all the way through college. He needs and deserves his childhood. I distinctly remember this exact situation when I was little. My father wanted me to do this for him and to tell you the truth, out of nursery school at that age, I just could not do it.
It upset me so much that to this day, I still have bad dreams about the whole situation. My father in the living room very upset cause I "would not do my letters", when the real problem was that my mind was a blank. He even told my grandmother, he thought I "was just spoiled", because I "was given everything, but I could not do this for him".. There was punishments and shame.
Your son is very young. Why do you want him to read and write at this age? He should be playing and interacting with other children to learn his social skills and gain his own self being.
Most children do not have the fine motor skills to even hold a writing instrument correctly till 5 or later. There are children that can read, but do not truly comprehend the reading till 5 or 6. 3 is super young and if you ask any teacher, by 3rd grade, it does not matter when children first wrote or learned to read they mostly all even out in writing and comprehension in this grade anyway.
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