My daughter (3 Years old) has pretty good manners and an even temperment. This may be petty but it is driving me crazy.
How do I teach her to chew her food with her mouth closed? She's trying but ...man, the NOISE and desire to nibble food into her mouth instead of taking a bite and chewing politely grates on my nerves. UGH! I'm really trying to focus on rewarding her good behaviors.
We are scheduled for a mother daughter brunch in a few weeks so we are practicing her manners for our dress up day. I'm reading her books on manners and reinforcing her good behaviors. I realize that next to some of her friends her manners are WONDERFUL. The problem is we eat meals together to talk and bond and I feel like its 45 minutes in which I am trying NOT to nag her and am far too focused on how she is chewing. She loves to eat and eats a variety of food and I don't want to create a negative experience for her..
Wow is this petty but I would like advice.
A quick note - she doesn't talk with her mouth full so that is not an issue. we eat. Then sit and talk and eat more. I only had the talking and bonding in the question because I feel it is important that we eat the meal together.
Thank you for the advice! I've been off work for a short medical leave and have more patience which helps AND her manners have really improved. One of the cutest moments I've had with her was around her manners. We we're eating barbecue chicken legs and she had sauce from ear to ear, she takes a bite, chews with her mouth closed, swallows and then says "Look Mama I eat like a lady" It was sooo cute!
I don't think its petty at all. We all want our children to practice good tables manners, especially out in public. I think the best way to teach her is by example. Have her watch the way you and daddy chew. Let her know that her way is good, but that there are also others ways to chew. Have fun at your brunch. :)
Just remind her before you sit down to the meal to take small bites and always chew with her mouth.
Now mom, you also need to remember not to ask her a question when she just takes a bite..
Talk about how if she does have food in her mouth and she is asked a question to look at the person, point a finger like "1 moment" and then finish her bite and THEN answer. Or she may hold a napkin in front of her mouth and say, just a moment please.
Our daughter used to ask "why do you always ask me a question when I have food in my mouth?".. Yes, she was 3 at the time. I apologized and told her I was sorry and then we discussed good ways for her to let me know her mouth was full.
Practice this your self when you all are eating. Have your husband also show how to do this.
I'm right there with you! This is one of my biggest pet peeves and I was raised to NEVER chew with my mouth open or talk with food in my mouth. My 3 yr old daughter does the same thing and I want to tell her to stop but I just feel so bad because she is so proud of herself when she doesn't get food on the floor or too much on the table. She'll say "Mommy, look! I didn't make a mess!" She IS trying, so I figured I would take it one step at a time. When she talks with food in her mouth, I just tell her to chew her food quietly first and then talk. Next, I'll battle the open mouth thing.
I don't know if this will help in your situation, but we've developed a table manners game for our kids. I have a basket on the table with cards for each table manner we want to stress (napkin in the lap, chewing with mouth closed, taking small bites, elbows off the table, etc.). Every night at dinner, someone chooses a card, and each person gets five chocolate chips in front of their plate. In addition to observing our own manners, we watch each other and can take a chip from someone we catch using bad manners. At the end of dinner, the kids get to eat their chocolate chips. You may not need the whole game, but if you want to stress the one issue without constantly nagging (which is what we were going for), try it for just chewing quietly each night. You'd be surprised how quickly they catch on, and how much they enjoy the challenge of both following through and catching someone else in the act.
I'd say this to you: Lighten up and enjoy your little sweetie. Gentle guidance over time as well as modelling the behavior you want her to have, will work if you don't make a big deal out of it.
Lighten up! :) Be thankful for where she is and keep encouraging her, but you need to talk your self into understanding that she's only 3!!!! My 4 year old is starting to get it together, but often has days where I'm reminding her that it is not polite to lick PBJ off the bread. Some days I have to put a bib on her. I should've started working with her sooner, I'll admit, but even at 4 there is only so much lady-like behavior you can expect from them. Some people just say live and let live, and I don't subscribe to that attitude, but I often have the tendency to expect more then is truly age appropriate from my kids. (especially those who act older then their age in other areas)
Best wishes! :)
