10 answers

3 Year Old Anger Problem

Hi all. I am lost. My almost 3 year old is all of a sudden so angry all the time. He yells, hits, cries and cannot focus on anything? We have a 5 month old also,so we thought that was it, that it bothered him a little, but he loves her? We always take time when we get home after dinner to spend with him, but then he throws a fit when we get up. He used to be so good and happy and he just doesn't seem happy anymore and it really bothers me. He is such a spaz, which I thought was just his age, and maybe it is. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. I cried myself to sleep last night I am so worried abouthim. Thank you in advance.

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i'm having a similair problem with my 3 year old. He likes to ball up his fists and stomp away a lot. I try my best to ignore the behavior but it gets hard because I don't want him to be angry. He went from wonderful and nice, to having anger issues overnight.

I'm stumped too. :(

J.

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I agree with most of what was said already. However, I just want to add that (from what I've seen) boys tend to naturally be more aggressive than girls do. I have a boy - and that's about the age he started to 'act out'.

Now, although it's unfashionable to say so, I believe in spanking. NOT beating, but spanking. So, the situation was solved very easily for me. When he acted up, he got a couple smacks on his butt, and it stopped the behavior like a magic charm. When they're OLDER and able to reason, time-outs are the way to go.

There's an excellent book called "The New Dare to Discipline" by Dobson, who owns Focus on the Family. It's a MUST-READ for young parents, IMHO.

Best of luck, hon!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.! I have almost 3 year old twins, and my boy tends to have anger management problems too. I have shed lots of tears over this, part because he can be hard to deal with and part because I'm so scared he is going to grow up with everyone thinking of him as the 'bad twin'. He just doesn't seem to be able to deal well with things, his temper gets the best of him (kicking, hitting, throwing stuff...). However, other times he is THE SWEETEST kid you've ever seem. He's very extreme in all his emotions. I just read an article in this month's Parenting magazine that has some tips I'm going to try. I'd be happy to fax it to you, if you're like me, you're willing to try anything. Good luck, and let me know if you want the article!

Hi D.,
I feel your pain. :-)
My son is almost 3 (will be in March) and he just started exhibiting the same behavior as well. He's an only child. I'm thinking it might be daycare or something.
My son used to be such a sweetheart, now he acts like a lil bastard! Maybe it is a phase, and he simply testing his boundaries possibly?
My son out of nowhere starts throwing hardcore tantrums and and hits and spits...all these things he's never done before. I just wanna slap some sense into him sometimes!
Just be patient hon.

My lil boy was going though the same thing and we cut out a lot of his sugar ( not just cookies... juice, yogarts, things like that... you would not believe how much sugar is in the everyday things we let the kids eat... ) When I did that he turned back into my lil wonderful boy again.

I definately feel empathy for you. I have a son that's only 6 months , but my nephew is about the same age as your son and he's just like that. I think it's just the age their at ( the terrible 2's ). I'm sure he'll grow out of it. good luck.

M.

I went through the same issues when my daughter turned 3. Terrible twos were nothing compared to what I went through with her when she was 3. She would hit me, throw things, etc...and I was afraid that one of the times she was going to hurt herself. I would go in my room, lock the door, and cry thinking that it was something I did. I was out of options and the last thing that I did was seek a professional's help and she gave me different outlets to try on her. The best outlet that worked with her was for her to hit a pillow when she got mad. I also sat down with my daughter on numerous occassions when she wasn't angry and explained to her how she was effecting everyone else in the family. I also gave her advance warning when it was time to go or stop playing. I would count down the minutes and for whatever reason that seemed to work. Finally she seemed to just grow out of it after 6 months but it was horrible going through it. Just hang in there. It will be something he'll outgrow.

i'm having a similair problem with my 3 year old. He likes to ball up his fists and stomp away a lot. I try my best to ignore the behavior but it gets hard because I don't want him to be angry. He went from wonderful and nice, to having anger issues overnight.

I'm stumped too. :(

J.

My son was like that too. He'll turn four in a couple weeks and is just now getting out of that stage. His "terrible two's" were nothing compared to his "thunderous three's"!!! It's just another stage they go through trying to figure out what is acceptable and what isn't. Handle him the same way you would a two year old. Be consistently consistent!!
Best of luck, Jen

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