3 Tots at Home, Can't Keeep Up!

I have not read the other responses. But am going to give you my own. You have let the children take over control of your home / life. You need to take it back or your going to really have problems later on. So my suggestion in the following order is to
1 make up a new routine. your kids need naps and you need to get back in control of the house. give them a nap each day and even if they dno't want to sleep put them in their beds with a book. tell them nap time is till 3pm or whatever you decide. then do the housework while they sleep/rest. if you still have housework then have them help. a 2 or 3 yr old can help dust, and pick up. if you don't have them yet buy a couple of big bins for the toys and institute the rule that toys have to be picked up before lunch, before supper and before bed. also whining and screaming is not acceptable. each time they do it they get a time out. and stick to it. it is amazing how a 2 minute time out can change a kids attitude. also I know you said you don't eat "meals" but just graze all day. This is also not good. they may be hungry all the time. start sitting them down at 7am for breakfast. lunch at 11 and supper at 5. bath and into bed by 730pm. this gives you time from 730 to 10 for you and hubby. all this disarray and craziness is going to make the kids whine all the more. and now while they are still young is the time to straighten it out. I do "big" cooking on the weekends and make enough of each thing for 2 meals. and the left overs usually can be made into one more easily. keep vegetables cut and washed in fridge so they can easily be made into crockpot meals, salads etc. make a schedule and stick to it. pick your cleaning things and separate them into days (monday is for changing sheets, tuesday is for vacuuming, wednesday is for laundry etc....) build in some outside time so the kids can run run run..... and then in for lunch and quiet/nap time. you don't ask a kid if they want to nap. the answer will always be no. just say ok new plan here you go. and when they whine you say I know your mad but this is what we are doing. and then DO IT!!!! good luck

6 moms found this helpful

Oh Precious Momma,
I know it is so hard right now ( I had four under the age of five). It does get better. Hang in there it is so worth it. Here are a few things I learned. I hope they help. :o)

1. They smell fear. That is to say that if you are feeling paniced or uneasy about being home they can tell. It is important to take time to breathe. If a momma is constantly trying to "get away" the toddlers pick up on that it makes them nervous and clingy. That increases the whiney screaming behavior. Try to run towards them rather than away even when it goes against everything in you.

2. Create as peaceful of a enviroment as possible. Crazy right? Music can help. Not just kid music (because you'll lose your mind), but piano or jazz or Hawiiain guitar.Seriously my kids responded to John Tesh. Try Go Fish Guys - music for parents and kids that toddlers love to dance to.

3. Spend alot of time on the floor. Get an old comforter or blanket that you don't mind what happens to it. Then spread it on the floor and sit with them while they play on it. Fisher Price Little People are great because they are good for boys or girls on a 9month old can't swallow them. They might not play together at first but often they will start to gravitate to you if encourage them to play with you. (This pays off because later they will learn to play together and this will save your brain)
A. The comforter is great to take to the park or keep one in the car for when you go to other people's house. They can learn to keep their toys on it. If they spill food or something -no problem- pop it in the washer. You always have a clean place for them to play. This saved my bacon once when we had a flat tire and had to wait for AAA. We pulled out the picnic blanket and sat on the grass and since the kids were used to the blanket it helped to make a boundary.

4.Any person that choses to be a nanny is amazing. But bringing in someone else will not help the bond with you and your kids. Instead try to find a realible person that could babysit on a regular schedule. If you know that every Thursday you can look forward to three hours with no one hanging off of you it will make the rest of the week more manageable.

5. As far a food it sounds like you are doing what is best for toddlers. Check on AskDrSears.com for guidelines on feedling toddlers. He recommends grazing on healthy stuff through out the day! Good Job, Mom!

6. Cleaning is hard. For now just keep paper towels in strategic places around the house. Rely heavily on wipes. Believe it or not baby wipes do amazing things. Also clorox wipes and clorox disinfecting spray. There is a hard surface spray that is safe around kids and food. Just two minutes and the surface is disinfected.

7. Bedtime was easier for me when I had a routine. Not a schedule but a routine. A warm bath a bit of snuggle time and a maybe a story. Music helped there too because we found a Michael Card cd that was perfect. If we always put it on quietly, then after awhile the kids fell asleep before the the second song! It was great for vacation too because just like the blanket it created a familiar environment and allowed them to relax anywhere. ( Watch out don't play it while you are driving!)

** Most of all cut yourself some slack! Don't get wraped up in unrealistic expectations. Just remember there will always be some lady that shows up at the park with kids dressed in all organic clothes that were made from cotton she grew and dyed herself. But there rest of us will not judge you for buying grocery store chicken over roasting your own over a spit in the back yard! Hey not even Martha Stewart was "Martha Stewart" with toddlers!

Those little old ladies in the store are right this time goes by fast. Mine are now 11,9,8,6. There are no diapers, no binkeys and no more finger painting with pureed squash. I never thought I would miss somethings. ( I never believed I would make it to lunchtime somedays)
You can do this! I am here to help.
Sorry if this is too long.
S. :0)

5 moms found this helpful

I hear ya!! I have four kids and I remember when I was pregnant with my second I could not wait until he was born so that I could be a SAHM. I was going to be able to have a perfect, neat, organized house, I was going to be on the go with the kids all the time. Playdates, the park, meeting friends at the mall for lunch. I couldn't wait. Ha ha ha!! I was so cute and naive! I also remember when reality hit. My house was way worse! I forgot about the part where I would be home WITH my kids! Little ones running around and "perfect house" don't really go together. And all of those lunch dates with friends and playdates, well, most of them got cancelled because of the overwhelming guilt over how much of a disaster my house was! The worst part is that I would cancel so I could "catch up" and the "catch up" never happened. Bottom line, it is hard. And really...Do you want a perfect house? With three little ones I wouldn't think very highly of you as a mom if you had a perfect house. It wouldn't say much for the quality time that you were spending with the kids.
It took me a while. I definitely went through my rough times where I would say, "what the hell did I get myself into?" But, I realized that anything you get done during the day was a huge bonus! I do the majority of cleaning and organizing at night and weekends. That's what I did when I worked and that's how I have to do it now. At night I clean when the kids go to bed and when things get really bad my husband takes the kids out for a little while and I rush around and take full advantage of the quiet house. It's amazing what you can get done without the kids under foot. And then you just have to take a deep breath when they run through the door like a hurricane and destroy it all. I always try to remind myself that someday they will all be gone and I will have my perfect house and I'm sure that I would trade it in a second to make my kids all be babies again :-(
As they get older and go to school it gets easier and you will be a better at managing your time.
Good luck and enjoy those little ones!! There are no awards for clean houses :-)

3 moms found this helpful

So I only have an 11 month old, but I can sympathize with your problems b/c my mom had a home daycare while I was growing up and I babysat ALL the time. So hear are my tips:

1. The most important thing would be to sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep - they all need more! They will behave better every day if you can manage naps and earlier bed times, plus you will get some time to yourself to clean or just crash on the couch. The baby should be asleep by 7 (yes, there will probably be some crying) and he/she will still sleep til 6 or 6:30am. Then he/she should go down for two naps a day, mid-morning and early-afternoon. The 2 year old should definitely be napping in the early afternoon, the 3 year old should at least have "rest time". The two of them should also go to bed earlier, like at 8 or 8:30. A bedtime routine will definitely help wind them down. Maybe bath, story, song and cuddle with mom for a minute. When kids show signs of tiredness they are already overtired and it will be harder to get them asleep. If they both napped/rested during the afternoon they will be easier to put to bed earlier. It will definitely take a week or two to get into the groove but you will all be better off!

2. I think you might be doing too many classes. 1 or 2 should do it with kids that young. I definitely think you should get out of the house everyday, but that could mean going for a walk or to the park. That way you won't have to haul them all in and out of the car which is madness!

3. Write out a schedule and put it up all over the house until you have it memorized. Seems silly but it's a great motivator and sanity saver to have "What To Do Next?" right there in writing in front of you. It could be like this:
6 - Mom wake up & throw load of laundry in, wipe down bathroom counters, make coffee, wash face/shower, get dressed
6:30 - Kids wake up
7 - Breakfast (talk about what you are going to do that day)
7:30 - Kids get dressed (you could make a game of it, like first dress the baby and have the other two help pick out clothes or sing a song about it, then the 2 year old, then the 3 y.o.)
8 - play time (last 5 minutes = clean up time, sing the clean-up song)
8:30 - Go outside or do something physical in the house (obstacle course with jumping jacks, touch toes etc)
9 - Baby down for nap, other two have tv time for a half hour to keep them quiet while you tend to the baby (put laundry in drier & put another load in)
9:30 - Craft time (could just be coloring, last 5 min = clean up time)
10 - Baby up, snack #1 (fold first load now, put second load in drier)
10:30 - play time (last 5 min = clean up time)
11 - music/dance time - put on some music and see what they do
11:15/11:30 - play time
12:00 - lunch
1 - baby down for nap, other two have tv time for 1/2 hour
1:30 - nap/rest/quiet time for 2 and 3 year old. *Stay consistent every day*
(do what you can during this time and spend at least 20 min. relaxing!)
3 - Everybody up! Snack #2
3:30 - Outside/physical/class time (walking, go to park, pool, library, mall)
4:30/5 - quiet play time/reading time, mom prep dinner (but baby in high chair w/ finger food or toys)
5:30 - dinner
6:30 - start bed time routine for baby (bath, short story, bottle/bf, bed), other two watch 1/2 hour of tv
7 - baby in bed, start bedtime routine for other two (can be long - hour or hour and a half - talk about your day, clean up toys, read 3 or 4 books, take a bath, get pjs on, then send 3 yo to room to play *quietly* while you tuck in 2 yo, read another story, sing a soft song, cuddle with mom for 15 minutes, after do the same thing with 3 yo)
8:30 - both kids in bed
10pm - M. in bed!

Good Luck!

3 moms found this helpful

I have two very close in age (6.5 and 8) and I remember those days. The one thing that I believe would make a huge difference in your house is sleep. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child (weissbluth) is a great resource, which the jist of is this: children the ages of yours need a lot more sleep. And even though my younger was not a good napper, 2 is too young to give that up. And 9 and 10 o'clock is way too late for bedtime. It sounds like you're waiting for them to be tired to put them to bed. Children need to learn how to self soothe themselves to sleep. Sleep begets sleep; the earlier you put them down the longer they'll sleep. If you can get them on a reasonable sleep schedule your life would seem a lot less crazy, there will be less whining, and you'll have more time to yourself.
good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Wow... I agree, you can't get a job and send them to daycare, but what about doing a load of clothes a day? The 2 and 3 year olds are old enough to help pick up the toys and they can do this before they go to bed, before dad gets home and before you leave the house. It may take some time, but it can be done. As for the bathroom, teach them not to touch the water and you can place in the tank, the automatic cleaners (good for a couple months). I think it's make by Kaboom.

It is important to eat at the table as a family (with no tv on). I only have 2 kids 5 & 3 and work full time and went to school full time and what worked best for me was to order from www.schawns.com. They deliver pretty much prepared foods and you can throw most of their meals in the oven and have everything done within a 1/2 hour with no prep time. They have great breakfast, lunch and dinner meals. They can be expensive, but for me, I weighed in the time, food and energy it took to prepare the same food and it comes out about the same. They deliver every 2 weeks.

I now have a cleaning lady come in once a month and she pretty much keeps me on track and does the little things I just don't have time for, plus she's great at reoganizing (which I LOVE).

You will make it, just take it easy, and limit the amount of outside activies they are doing. It's nice outside now, instead of paying for so many activies, just take them to a park weekly, join a local mom's group or two and just appreciate the fact that they are so young. It does get easier, at least for the 2 and 3 year old, they will start playing with eachother more and more and not need you as much. My kids now help clean off the table (they put their own plates away), they help with the laundry and pick up their toys by the end of the day or I say they will be freecycled and given to kids who don't have as many toys. Only once did I bag up toys (I hid them), and from that point on, they have no problem picking up their toys.

Oh, I also purchased a Roomba from Bed, Bath and Beyond. They last about a year (I use it 3 times per week and before I recharge it, I clean the brushes and empty the little container). It is expensive, but BB&B will return anything they sell to you that breaks so it's a great investment. I'm already on my third roomba and only had to pay for it once. It's the best little invention ever and when the kids are slow at picking up their toys, I tell them what ever the roomba touches gets freecycled so they move pretty quick.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Oh my gosh!! That's crazy! I have one child of my own and my other kids that I babysit. (It's really great when they get picked up, lucky me!) All joking aside you already followed one advice I would give, that is to hire help with cleaning. The next thing is that you just have to be one step ahead of the kids with planned activities. First part of the day straight after feeding them, go out and do something to get them tired. Then you can come back in and get them to play something. This could be playdough, fingerpaint, watertable, blocks, toys anything that keeps them engaged. You will have to change it up from day to day. Then make sure they get some down time. Put on some soothing music for kids, darken the room, perhaps separate them & hopefully they will nap. After nap get them exhausted again. Take a long walk, go the the playground(indoor or outdoor depending on weather), go swimming, just anything to make them tired. Then they can be entertained with the tv while you magically get all that stuff done. Is there a hubby you could give a honey-do list? I think routine is key, just pretend you have a daycare. I mean, basically you do! Once the kiddos get used to it and know what to expect they'll embrace it. Try to get the home organized & labeled(picture labels for little ones) so you can teach them where to put things away. Then when they are older your life will be easier. (Wow I'm trying to imagine if all my "kids" didn't go home by 6pm.) You mentioned that budget is tight but could you afford a babysitter 1 day per week or every 2 weeks for sanity reasons? Perhaps a student to just come over and play with them while you work on the to-do list & grab a shower or a NAP? Know a SAHM who would exchange babysitting services? Sorry my post is so incoherant. Do the kids eat only in a designated area or all over the house? I teach my kids to eat only at the table. Was hard, especially with my own daughter but now if she sees me eating on the carpet, I'm in such trouble. It helps a lot with keeping the house clean and it's a great habit to teach. What about rotating out toys? Are you doing that? If you can have less toys available all the time, the house stay neater and the children are more excited when you exchange the selection of playthings every week. I also ordered some learning posters to teach colors, letters, shapes etc. We go over those together at the same time each day. The kids really enjoy that. Hope some of my suggestions could help, good luck M. G. I feel your pain!

2 moms found this helpful

Sounds a lot like my life and I only have 2 kids. It is really hard being a stay at home mom--I had no idea until I tried to do it. I do not have anyone coming to clean ever so the bathrooms and kitchen are up to me at all times. I feel like I have to clean the kitchen 3 times a day because we eat every meal at home--I do laundry at night while I watch TV because I can fold it while sitting on the couch. I don't even attempt it during the day. I also get out a lot. Being at home with my kids is really hard because they aren't great at entertaining themselves. Thank goodness we have a great backyard right off the kitchen. Now that summer is coming they are outside all the time. But I can only do things in 5 min. increments before I have to break up a fight, kiss a boo boo or wipe pee off the floor, like you. I think this is totally typical. Until the kids are at school for a couple hours a day you simply won't be able to get a ton of housework done. They need your full attention pretty much while you are at home--even with one daughter in preschool for a few hours 3 days a week, I still can get very little done because my 2 year old gets into mischief even worse when her big sis is not around. I often remind myself that I am, indeed, living my dream. I always wanted to stay at home with my kids and I am lucky enough to do that--without the frills of ANY extra help. It is exhausting but soon they'll be grown up and I know I'll be missing my babies. :)

2 moms found this helpful

I was a professional nanny for twenty years and also worked in a preschool. I know you have your hands full and you are doing the best you can. First I would try and decide what is more important, going to all those classes or spending a little more time at home and having a cleaner house and regular meals. Something I that I learned while I was a nanny was each family had their own priorites, it doesn't make one family right or another one wrong, just different. Maybe instead of so many classes, which being a mother I understand getting out of the house and actually talking/seeing other adults, maybe you could hire someone to watch the kids while you are home and you could clean, do laundry or meal prep. I know, it sounds silly, but having another set of hands while you are trying to do something it a wonderful thing. Trust me there isn't a mom out there that wouldn't welcome a sitter to come for a couple of hours a week to help out, including myself. I would have some sort of schedule, like always eating at the same time, or pretty close too the time. A set time for "quiet/nap time. I don't think it is necessary to have a set schedule for the whole day, that always put WAY to much pressure on me and made me crazy. Also, your two oldest are old enough to "help" with some chores. You can try to do little thing like sorting laundry with them or having the "help" put the laundry away. I always give my son who is 2 1/2 a clean, dry rag to "help" me when I clean the house. We have a little broom and dust pan for him to help too. What ever you decide to do will be the best for your family, because no one knows them better than you. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

You sound very overwhelmed. As others have said, join a moms group. Do some free things with your children. Swap childcare just so you can get a few things done. Just do what you can. What if you give the kids some down time. Dont know how you feel about TV but let them watch TV for 1 hour so they can rest and you can get a lot done in 1 hour.
Hire a local middle schooler to just come and play with them this summer. It will refresh you a ton.
I know you dont think so but it will get better. Time goes very fast.
http://mterlecki.aupairnews.com

1 mom found this helpful

Well, I wouldn't expect much to change for a few years. Make your husband clean the toilets and help with the housework -he lives there too! In the grand scheme of things, it won't matter a whit if your house was dirty for 5 or 6 years. Clean whenever you can and let it go. Keep the cleaning service to keep the mold and dust down! The kids will get big fast and you will have years to keep a neat and tidy home.

Also, put that 9 month old to bed at 6:30 or 7:00! I would have gone INSANE if either of my kids were up that late. They're 19m and 4 and the oldest is still in bed by 8:30 at the very latest! If the 9 month old screams -go comfort the child a few times and then don't go back in. You can try putting toys in the crib or books, but I would let him cry himself to sleep and get on a different schedule. Use white noise, black-out blinds -whatever it takes. It will help you a lot to have some extra evening hours! He'll never remember it, and you'll be much saner!

1 mom found this helpful

OMG, it is totally normal. I have a 6 year old a 2 year old and 5 month old twins. Prioritizing is key. Some days I clean ALOT and some days I only do the basics-dishes, wipe down bathroom, wipe down kitchen and clean floors. It depends on my mood. I think as long as everyone is healthy and happy, that is all that matters. It has taken me a long time to even feel this way because I used to be extra sensitive about having a very clean and organized house. But after having so many kids and ALL the stuff that comes with them I have realized that all I really do is move things around at this point and I would rather spend my time doing better things, with the kids! I do have one piece of advice, though. Plan your meals for the entire week (dinners), write a grocery list, shop and cook those meals on one day. I usually cook on saturdays, when my hubby is home to help with the kids. I plan on left overs one night and most of the time frozen pizza another night. That way I only have to worry about cooking 5 meals. I cook everything, veggies, entrees, I cut up veggies and fruit. It takes a total of about 4 to 5 hours but it is so worth it! This way, during the week I just reheat and we are good. You only mess up the kitchen 1 day and have a ton of pots and pans 1 day and you are good.

Anyways, just do what you think is best, don't worry if the less important things slack a bit. Motherhood is a very very hard job and NOBODY is perfect.

1 mom found this helpful

I know you have a lot of responses already. I feel your pain - mine are 7, 5, and 3 1/2. It does get better when they start school. My main advice is you need more alone time (with and without hubby) and your kids need more sleep/down time. My 3 1/2 year old doesn't nap much, but I tell her she needs to lay in bed for at least 1 hour quietly, whether she reads or plays quietly--no running around. During that hour, either I rest, or clean a room. I clean one room a day and do 1-2 loads of laundry each day. While I'm watching tv, I fold laundry. Can your husband help out on the weekends? Maybe he can watch the kids so you can clean the house and do laundry if it doesn't fit in during the week.

In my opinion, kids don't need to be "scheduled" all day long. It is good for them to have some free play where they decide what to do--color, tv, reading, or playing a game, etc. They need to learn to figure out on their own how to keep themselves occupied. When its nice outside, can you send them out in the backyard to just play and run for a while. My kids enjoy small walking trips to the park--even if we were only gone for 30 minutes. And sometimes the fresh air and exercise rejuvenates me and my attitude!

Hope this helps and it does get easier--it already has for me and I only have 1 in school all day. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I can't really offer suggestions, since I'm only expecting #2 at this point. But your biggest complaint seems to be around cleaning. Why bother to clean during the day when it's just going to get "undone" 30 minutes later?

Clean the kitchen at the END of the day when all the kids are in bed. Same with the toys. Just sounds like you're fighting battles that don't need to be fought there.

And your 9mo should be going to bed a LOT earlier than 10. That's probably a big part of the protest. She's probably so overtired that she's battling. Try to get her down no later than 7:30. You may find less of a battle, and that will free up some time to settle down with the older kids.

Just my thoughts.

1 mom found this helpful

Looks like you got some good suggestions, I would just say....what you are facing is completely normal! You have 3 kids under 3! I am surprised you can keep up at all! I have a hard enough time with a 2 year old and 6 year old, I cannot imagine having 3 so young!

1 mom found this helpful

Check out flylady.net! It helps break up your house into zones and has small tasks to do each day. The way it's broken down makes it a lot less overwhelming and not so time consuming as they are big on setting timers so you don't spend hours cleaning. Just follow the baby steps and you will be amazed at how things come together. Hang in there, I know it's crazy with little ones but it will get better! :)

1 mom found this helpful

Sometimes, a mom needs a little break just to help put everything into perspective. Have you looked into whether there are any kids' day out type programs near you? We have many that are run by local church groups. They are like a hybrid pre-school/day care that is flexible. If your kids (baby too, our KDO takes babies) went one day a week for 4 hours, you could have a little "me" time. Get a cup of coffee, go for a walk, clear your head. Suddenly, the laundry won't seem so overwhelming. I have 3 kids and we generate a lot of wash. Most of it never really gets folded. The important things, like my husband's work clothes, are mostly "wrinkle free." If I set the dryer timer and grab those few things when the alarm goes off they look good. The rest, well, its clean, but a little rumpled. Who cares? I agree with the comments about an earlier bed time. If you get the kitchen decent before you go to bed, you will start the next day much more relaxed. Other than that, just know that it does get easier. It is very hard when your kids are all little and so close in age. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I have an almost 3 yo and 5 month old so I feel your pain. But I also feel you may have over-scheduled your kids' activities. Try cutting back some so you are home more often. Also try scheduling household chores like you would other activities: mondays bathroom 1, Tuesday b2, etc. Do preventive cleaning like a quick scrub of toilet every morning, spray shower when the last person is done. Sign up for fly lady's newsletter and follow her reminders. Hopefully this too shall pass. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

This will pass. Really. And one day when you have time to do all the laundry and clean the mold and sit in the backyard on a swing, something can happen like this: son joined the service, stayed six years, got up yesterday an moved to Colorado. What I wouldn't give for the mold and the whining and only giving half way to each child. Now I have all the time in the world and I do not like it. Treasure the little ones and if they are healthy and you can hug them whenever you want do it. Because like the old saying goes: so quiet down cobwebs, for babies don't keep...hope you get my drift. Some things are really not that important. You can follow all the organizational advice you want but things change on a daily basis. But what does not change is that they grow up and move on. Enjoy them.

1 mom found this helpful

Put laundry in before they get up - toss in dryer at breakfast and fold at lunch time where they can see you while their eating :-)
Make it a rule before you head out or leave that room to put toys back in their same "spot." We sing the "clean up song" - they catch on real quick at an early age and will grow up being tidy kids!
I keep prepared food in containers and ziplocks - makes it very handy to prepare for meals, snacks & take-n-go and then reseal!
I keep Chlorox wipes in every bathroom - handy and just toss when done (Chlorox tabs for the potty will keep away the rings) !
I also recommend the Shark cordless sweeper for tile/hardwood - it picks up everything and it's lite enough for the 20 mth old to push - they love helping!!!!
Even though you only have one nappin, your others should go down for "quiet" time - get them a mat and blanket and turn on some soothing music and hand them a book - even the daycares do that till they are 4 :-)
Going to your local park is free and burns time and energy - you'll also meet your neighbors and get your "adult" conversation in.
Good Luck - they grow up fast, so don't fret to much over it!

1 mom found this helpful

It will pass! I only have one and I feel like this some days. :) Here is what I would do...
-Send the oldest one to preschool in the fall. He is old enough!
- Join a M.'s club. I am sure there is one in your area. There will be a ton of playgroups that are FREE and you won't have to spend all your money on the classes. You will still be getting out of the house and saving a ton of $$$!! If you still want to do classes, sign up for free ones at the library.
-Find a friend and swap kids once a week for you to get some free time!
-With all of your extra cash, you could always try to hire some help once a week to watch the kids for a couple hours while you do laundry and "catch up". It could even be a teenager if you are still going to be around the house.
Good Luck! Before you know it, the kids will be grown, the whining will stop and things will start coming together for you! Sooner than later I imagine!

1 mom found this helpful

Welcome to motherhood! :) Things will get better...once they are in school. Then your house will be so clean...until they get home. ;) Hang in there.

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In my opinion, this is totally normal. I have 3 boys, 2 are 3 yr. old twins and the youngest just turned 4 months. I'm constantly trying to keep up with their energy and the stuff around the house. I also am trying to balance 3 part time jobs (one is a new business I started this year). My husband went back to school a few years ago and so he is home less than we'd like at times.

My point is that we all feel overwhelmed, especially with 3 small kids. I know it can just all pile up and feel impossible to get caught up too. I try to clean 1-2 areas a day in the morning. My kids tend to be wild but will behave enough or even want to help in a small way and let me get a few things done (either while they are eating or before that). I just sneak in a load of laundry or clean something when given the opportunity too. Look for quick cleaning methods too. Nothing needs to sparkle. You mentioned you sleep when the baby sleeps which is great and I'm sure you need it from all of the running but could you pop in a load of laundry or spend 10 minutes cleaning before you lay down? Sometimes I treat myself to a short catnap if I spend 10 minutes or so cleaning first. It isn't like my house is that clean but it is livable. I realize that with 3 small children (and a dog), my house will never be spotless. My husband does help out when he can too but usually very minimally.

Enjoy the chaos though...kids grow up too fast! That is what people remind me every day. Also maybe cutting back on one or two classes would help your energy level and instead just plan your own activity at home in that time. Especially with summer here, you can have a water day, play with bubbles, games outside, etc. My kids get bored easily and I definitely know what you mean about the whining and screaming. It isn't easy but know you are doing your best and you are a good mom. No daycare can give them their mom all day and trust me, that is who they want...even if they don't show their appreciation:p Hope this helps a little:)

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it is totally normal, check out flylady.com to help with the cleaning ideas and keeping up. I would hire a pretten to come and do the dishes or fold laundry once a week and as she folds you can put away or even teach her to put them in the kids rooms or put away for $5, I used to pay the 12 yr old next door 2 dollars to do my dishes, empty and load the dishwaser and it took her about 15 min. it was worth it to her and I could have that time to deal with the kids and keep them from crawling not the dishwasher too! it will get easier mine are 9 and two 5 yr olds and they put their own laundry away, i do not fold the laundry either,saves time, i just take it out and keep it in the basket with out getting wrinkeled at 8:30 while they are getting pjs on and brushing teeth and then i bring it up so when they are done they put it away and get in their beds for a story or they do "homework" practice letters or look at books, clean their room or even play toys, till I can get to them, I read 10-15 minutes to each kid and it keeps them busy till i can get there. and let me tell you I never thought we would get to this point but you will. I still sometimes ahve the neighbor girl to do the dishes but she wants $5 now! but I do it when it is bad and I am desperate, Also you have to get a sitter and do some time for you and your husband, please, it is detremental to your relationship and teaches the kids to rely on another sitter and get used to being around another adult caretaker etc and you will get reprieve so that when they are so needy you can give. That was so hard for me to do and understand and spend the money on but once i did it i realized and saw how beneficial it was for everyone! seriously everyone!
Hang in there and see what tricks of the trade work for you. I enjoyed flylady and only do it every now and then.
J.

I have two boys at home with me, 5 and 2 years old. It started getting better when the older one turned 4 because he didn't need as much help as the younger one and could actually help me with little things. Since you have 3 closer in age, I can only imagine trying to find time to get anything done besides take care of the kids. I have learned, with my husband's help, that having a clean house is not the priority right now. Having happy, healthy children is. Still, it's hard for me not to try to clean up all the time and make everything orderly. The thing is, once I do get the house clean and organized, an hour later it's a mess again because my boys are just so active and love to throw things around.

Hiring someone to clean the bathrooms and kitchen is great, but I know it's a small help when you look at the big picture. Enjoy the children while they are young and try not to worry about having a spotless house. Children grow up all to quickly, my oldest is 16 with the typical teen attitude.

I'm sorry I don't have any pointers for making things easier. Just know that it DOES get better.

are your older 2 getting 14 to 15 hours of sleep at night? I don't think so. They NEED naps. You MUST start them napping. Naps are like oil changes for cars - you can skip them and not see the damage but eventually the engine will seize and die. In a child's case the engine is their brain and body. They NEED naps to learn, to process skills, and to have the best behavior.

So, get them on a schedule and make naps sacred. They are!! I have NEVER had a child in my daycare give up naps prior to 4 1/2 yrs old. NEVER. They nap here consistenly, every day, for at least 2 hours.

You need a visit from Super nanny.... but since that isn't possible, I will tell you what the ideal schedule is for a family with that age of kids. I'm going to start with bedtime.

7 pm - everyone into pj's and get teeth brushed
7:15 read a story then tuck them into bed. Make the rooms DARK - use black felt and attach it to the window frame using the scratchy side of velcro. This makes it easy to take down or put up.
7:30 everyone in beds, infant, older kids, the whole lot of them, all kids in bed at this time, no later. If you go past this time you are missing their window of sleep and they are getting overtired. That is why they aren't going to sleep for you. Make sure there are no Tv's or anything electronic in their room except something to play music. Put the music on continous play.
8 pm is your time, they should all be asleep by that time, do NOT allow them to get out of their rooms. If this means taking every single item but their bedding out of the room and turning around the lock, do that. You don't want them to be able to lock their door anyway, it's not safe. Now you have 2 hours of time to yourself, isn't that going to be great?

7ish a.m. - the kids wake up, feed them breakfast, get them dressed and start your day.
8:30ish (1.5 hours after baby wakes) feed baby solids, put her down for a nap
10:30 baby up from nap, yep, should be 2 full hours, give her a bottle
11:30 lunch for all, solids for baby too
immediately after they are done eating, they go potty/get diaper changed, then off to nap
12:15 all kids should be asleep, make the room dark, play music on continous play and make it non negotiable. They should sleep at least 2 hours. No matter what they are in a dark room for that amount of time. At first what you may need to do is have the music be on a sleep timer. Tell them when the music stops they can come out, but not before then. Give a reward for sleeping or being silent. I give the kids a stick of sugarless gum and the longest napper gets a candy. You just got another 2 hours.
3 ish - they should all be awake, give them a snack, then play time
5:30 ish dinner, then baths if needed
7 bedtime again

You have to cut back on classes and make sleep the priority or you will see the behavior issues continue. Multiple studies have shown the amount of sleep is directly correlated to advanced skills - more sleep, better memory, better language processing, better behavior.