3 Month Old Won't Take the Bottle anymore....help!! Stressful

Updated on July 17, 2012
M.T. asks from Pompano Beach, FL
9 answers

I breastfeed my baby girl who is little older than 3 months. My husband and I give our baby the bottle once or twice a day. My husband typically gives the bottle, not me. (as we have been told, Ithe mother should not be giving the bottle). We didn't start bottle feeding right away. We waited until somewhere around 4-5 weeks of age. I forgot who, but someone told us not to start until around that age.

However, the past month now, she has been resisting the bottle (breastmilk in bottle, not formula). It's a long struggle for my husband each time and 95% of the time he loses this fight. Our baby just cries insanely during the time husband is trying to bottlefeed. He ends up giving the baby back to me where then I breastfeed our baby. Even when I try to feed her with the bottle she will fight, but with me, there are slightly better chances she will take the bottle if I feed her with it than my husband. I don't want to keep doing that as we were also told, the mother should not do both, bottle feed and breastfeed the baby.

We tried - me being in a totally a different room, and also eaving the house for a little while husband tried feeing our baby. No luck. In the past 5 weeks, he was able to easily feed our baby maybe twice, once while I was out of the house and the other time I was in a different room. Giving her the bottle used to be so simple and she used to never fight us or cry when taking the bottle from my husband, myself or anyone else.

People have told us a baby while not starve themself and to let them cry it out until they finally realize bottle is what they only have. That is easier said than done. It's not easy for us to see our baby truly crying for the whole time my husband is trying to bottlefeed her. He tries anywhere from 30-50 mins, with many breaks in between to calm our baby down.

Any suggestions that would help us would be SO appreciated. I am going back to work in a couple of weeks and have a babysitter lined up that will have to bottlefeed our baby.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

That is so hard!! My son refused the bottle as well and I later learned he has minor sensory issues so "letting him cry" would never have worked. It's likely that with time and persistance you daughter will eventually take the bottle. You can try different bottles and nipples and see if that works. I would not let her cry if possible but once you go back to work she probably will cry. :( Can you postone going back to work? There is no easy solution if she wont take the different bottles.

1 mom found this helpful

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Babies at that age start to have opinions and stop just taking whatever is put in their mouths. I went to a lactation class for working moms and the LC said it was VERY common. My DD started to refuse a bottle and like you I was concerned. But she went to daycare and was fine. I bet she just doesn't want a bottle b/c she knows you are around and wants the good stuff straight from you. I wouldn't worry unless she refuses all bottles at daycare. We gave DD very few bottles before daycare started and she was fine.

Kellymom.com also has tips on bottle feeding a nursing baby. Frankly, if my baby was crying that much, I'd freeze and store and only give her a bottle occasionally until I went back to work.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Boca Raton on

i 100% feel your pain. i am going through the EXACT same thing right now as well with my almost 3 month old who has taken a bottle once a day since she was only a few days old. we have tried different bottles (avent, dr. browns, platex). we are having minimal success with the platex drop ins. we even switched to a fast flow nipple since my let down is fast. we thought she was getting mad with the slow flow nipples my husband has tried the skin to skin, distraction with her favorite music dvd, cuddling with her favorite muslin blanket, singing, etc. this can go on for upwards of 30 minutes with no success. we have tried the advice that was given to you with no success either.

here is what i have done that works "sometimes": 1. when hubby cant take it anymore, i try to give her the bottle (usually with the same results you are having). 2. i have noticed a difference in the success rate depending on how hungry she is. we try to give it to her 15-30 minutes before we think she will be very hungry. once she is starving, we lose the battle. 3. i am doing my best to offer her the bottle about 3 times a day. (only bm no formula) i want her to get used to the idea that she is going to have to drink it during the day when i am not home.

hang in there. i really hope you are able to be successful with this. i 100% understand how hard it is to listen to them cry that hard for so long. it breaks my heart too. all i can say is keep trying and take breaks and turns (so you nor she gets too stressed out).

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My biggest suggestion, stop listening to other people. They raised their kids, not yours, every kid is different.

I heard a lot of that same nonsense when my kids were little. Most of it just didn't feel right so I ignored it, ya know what, it worked. Apparently I know my kids better than random people. :)

My kids, all four of them, would never ever! take breast milk from a bottle unless it was fresh squeezed so to speak. Near as I can tell breast milk to them had to be at the exact temperature of mom, not cooler, not warmer, mom or nothing else. They would take formula without so much as a whimper so that is what we did.

You see, the babies can't read the books or understand friendly family and random people. You can tell them this is what they are supposed to do till you are blue in the face, they aren't going to listen so stop fighting and figure out what the baby wants.

Sure my kids would not have starved themselves but I am pretty sure those chubby little buggers could have gone at least a day screaming and refusing before the fat cells started burning.

Also try different bottles. All four of my kids preferred different bottles. God forbid they make this easy on us.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Have him "wear" your shirt while bottle feeding. So IF you two are simmilar sizes and he can that is great! If not have him drape it where baby can smell it and try that. I have never had this issue myslef, but know a couple who did this when things went awry.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.H.

answers from Miami on

It sounds like you are very open to taking advice from others, so here is mine - stop listening to other people and do whatever works for you and your baby. I've never heard that mom's shouldn't breastfeed and/or bottle. I did both with my daughter (bottle fed pumped milk) and she never had any problems. Perhaps she doesn't care for the nipple or the temperature of the breastmilk in the bottle but until you figure this out, if there is a better chance of her taking the bottle from you why don't you give it to her?

I think listening to your baby cry and fuss has to be really hard for you so why don't you just do whatever works to get her to eat without following all of these rules that you have read. All babies are different - all mommies are different. There is NO RIGHT OR WRONG - only what works for you!

Good luck!

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

This happened with my cousin. She breastfed for the 12 weeks she was on maturnity leave. When it was time to go back she tried to give her DD the bottle and she wouldn't take it. My cousin's sister was her babysitter and the baby wouldn't take the bottle from her either so she had to use a medicine dropper to feed her. When she was a little older she did take the sippy cup but did not want the bottle at all. Good luck to you!!

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Try another type of nipple and continue to have your husband feed her. The problem is that he gets frustrated and hands her over to you. That's not going to happen at work.

Sometimes babies get to the point that they get really stubborn and just don't want to give in. They CAN get dehydrated and then not feel well enough to eat. An eyedropper with your milk in it needs to be used in order to force them to get to the point to take the bottle.

Now, let's hope your baby doesn't get to this point. However, perhaps what will need to happen is that the daycare worker will have to get her on the bottle. Without you and your husband there, it might just work. Meanwhile, I would keep pumping in case you need to let her just have the bottle after you go back to work.

Good luck!
Dawn

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

Wish I could help you -- we were in the same boat. My husband never fed either of our kids -- they both absolutely refused the bottle and he was too tired and confused at night to make it worth training them. Good luck!

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