3 Month Old and Sleeping Issues............ Please Help

Updated on June 02, 2011
S.P. asks from Tacoma, WA
18 answers

My son is about 3 1/2 months old. he has the weirdest sleeping pattern. He sleeps through the whole night or atleast like 6-7 hrs. During the day is a different story. He wakes up in the morning gets changed, nurses, plays, changed again, nurses and falls asleep for about 20 mins and then he is up crying. It sometimes even takes me a long time to get him to calm down. I will then let him nurse again and then he will play a little bit again and then nurse and go back to sleep this time only for about 10 or 15 mins.

I am kinda concerned i know that babies go through growth spurts around his age, but this isn't normal to me. It's like he will not sleep at all and when he does it's 15 min cat naps all day. He is also a very needy baby, Has to be held/ moving at all times. He hates being laid/put down. Because of his neediness my housework has extremely suffered. The only time I can get anything done is after my husband gets home from work.

The only bad part about not being able to do anything til after my husband gets home is he is deploying soon and I don't want to have a house that is completely trashed because I can't put down my child. I feel bad just letting him cry but it's the only way I get freedom for 5 or 10 mins during the day.

Please I could really use the advice on how to help my son sleep. even if it's only for like an hour just to do dishes and maybe a load of laundry or take a shower. Thank you in advance for the responses

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L.C.

answers from Portland on

I agree with others who suggest you try a sling, moby or ergo. I wore my son a lot in the first couple of months. It helped me get a few things done. As he gets older, an exersaucer or johnny jump up may provide you with a few minutes to dash around and get things done.

Good luck!

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B.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

This just is a needy baby. The only way to get anything done is to wear him in a baby carrier or sling.

this too shall pass, once he starts crawling, he will not want to be held all of the time, but you then will be chasing him. Relax and let things go, enjoy the baby time.

More Answers

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

S.,
I have 4 girls, and each one has been a bit different with their sleeping patterns. My oldest would only nap for a short while on her back, but if I put her on her stomach she would sleep for over 2 hours. I know that all the medical world says they should only sleep on their backs, but when my sisters and I were babies my mom said all the advice was the opposite! I made sure that my daughter was on her back at night in her crib because she was a different room and I was asleep, but during the day she napped in the dining room in a Moses Basket on the floor where I could keep an eye on her and be sure she was breathing. It made a huge difference for her. (My third, on the other hand would only scream when I tried to put her down on her belly!)

Also, try a Moby wrap, sling, or Ergo. It's okay to hold baby all the time, as long as he gets a few exercise periods during the course of the day. If he wants to be close to you, then you should give him that security. It will pay off in his toddler years - knowing you will always be there for him will allow him to me more curious and independent. I realize that you do need a break, too, don't get me wrong! My youngest practically lived in her bouncy seat and swing - just alternated back and forth. They were both soothing for her, and she could see and hear me all the time because they were in our kitchen/dining/livingroom space. Blessings!

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I used to put my daughter in the swing and vaccuum. The sound lulled her right to sleep!!! I also had a friend who got a sling, and just did her thing (housework etc) and the baby was much happier. Just remember the house will get clean someday... your baby will not be a baby forever... I already miss that stage and mine are only 3 and 4... yes the time will fly by.

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K.P.

answers from Anchorage on

Breathe!! You can do it! It's tough, but you'll get through it, I promise. I carried my son in a sling to do the housework and he slept better in a swing for his naps - just like these other moms have already said. I remember what a joy it was to get a shower - many times I had to put the swing outside the bathroom and leave the door open so my baby could see me.

My husband was gone a lot and I was working full time. It was tough to get it all done, so I just didn't. If a friend stopped by during the week, I'd hand her the baby and mop the floor or fold some laundry while we talked.

I tried to host pancake breakfasts in my tiny house every weekend, mostly to keep my sanity. No one cared if the house was messy, they just wanted pancakes :)

Please remember - when you look back on your life, you will never wish you'd done more dishes.

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

Have you tried multiple places for him to sleep? Try the swing, the bouncy seat, the car seat, etc? Some babies like to sleep everywhere except there crib :-)

My older son was great at falling asleep nursing, but he would almost always wake when I tried to put him down. I found that if I placed him in the center of our queen size bed and nursed him to sleep while lying down, that I could slowly role away from him, and he would sleep for an hour or so. Just a thought.

It's great that he's sleeping so much a night, but you might need to experiment for naps. Also, it does take some babies a couple more months to really learn how to nap for longer periods of time. He really might grown into longer sleeping patterns. Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Portland on

There really is no "normal" when it comes to babies. This kind of sleep schedule is very, very common. Both my kids slept this way during the day in their first few months. As they got older they settled into a better nap schedule. For both of them it wasn't until we were firmly in the one-nap-per-day zone that they really got consistent (so that's almost 1 year of age). It's great that your little one sleeps such a long stretch at night. Often babies wake every 2-4 hours throughout the night. So, I know it's hard, but try to be okay with letting the house work suffer. This stage *feels* like it will stretch on forever, but really it will only last a short time. Try to enjoy it and not sweat the small stuff. Also, if it's really driving you nuts, ask for help. If you've got friends or family than can come clean your kitchen for you while you take a nap with baby, ask them!

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A.P.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

When my daughter was 3 months old , at the recommendation of a friend we bought the Fisher Price My Little Lamb papasan swing, and it was a godsend. It is what taught her how to nap! It is a totally cozy swing, and I would put her down in it and she went from taking 20 minute naps to sleeping for 2 hour stretches for naps. She napped in it until just a few weeks ago, and she is 8 months old! Might be worth a try...It's on sale right now at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Cradle-Swing-Little/dp...
Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

My son had very similar sleeping habits at that age and didn't settle into longer naps until he was 7 or 8 months, maybe, I can't really remember when things changed (that should give you hope ;-).

He did sleep very well in his car seat (I would take a long drive across town to the grocery store and then shop, and he would sleep both directions) and he really loved sleeping in the swing -- just make sure you have a swing that plugs into the wall because batteries die. He loved being held (would sleep in my arms while I watched TV or read a book) but hated being worn so that never worked for us.

We also had a bassinet topper for our stroller and he loved riding in that, so I would literally walk him around the house in it, delivering laundry to bedrooms, going to the bathroom (ahem), pushing him back and forth while I ate. And of course we took long walks around the neighborhood with either the car seat or the bassinet attached to the stroller. Overall he really liked motion. Might want to give it a try.

In the end, I just had to be consistent in laying him down before he was exhausted so he could learn to sleep on his own. And we did a modified cry it out plan, because I couldn't handle letting him cry endlessly. Basically, I would let him cry for five minutes at a time and then check on him, hold him until he calmed down, if needed (sometimes he just needed my hand on his belly or to hear me singing, while he was laying down) and then go for another five minutes. It took almost half an hour the first night, less than 15 minutes the next, and then 3-5 minutes after that for a few weeks, and then he just stopped crying altogether. I think he needed to learn that my husband or I would come when he really needed us, and now he only cries when he's actually teething or sick, which is great. But we didn't do this method until he was about 8 months.

I hope this helps and that you can get some relief. And like some other Mama's have said, don't worry about the housework, unless it's something that bothers YOU. I'm a neat freak so I understand your pain and simply have to keep a neat home, but it's not always so clean...

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

That sounds like my younger son- that's just the way he was. I got a lot done with him in a sling, and later (when he had better head control) in a back carrier.

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D.A.

answers from Portland on

My son did the 20 min. cat naps. He usually woke fairly happy. If I wanted him to take a longer nap, I had to wear him. This worked out well for me, it allowed me to spend more time with my dd and we could play while he was wrapped in a Moby and strapped on. I liked the Moby Wrap because I could keep it on all day (it's like having on an extra T-shirt) and just slip him in and out as needed. I was able to get some work done, he was happy as a clam and he actually got more rest this way. He did have some reflux issues and keeping him upright helped, too. I also gave him a probiotic everyday. Use a powdered one that you can finger feed and is a good one for babies. This might help, too. It won't hurt, so could be worth a shot.

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M.D.

answers from Anchorage on

Do you have a swing that is battery operated or a jumper (like Johnny Jumper)? I know those two items saved me when my babies went through that stage! If not, look for one at a garage sale or consignment shop or just buy one from the store. My baby will sometimes fight sleep, especially when he is super tired, and when he gets that way - and I feel like I can't settle him down, I put him in the jumper and he jumps until he falls asleep in the jumper. But, when he is 11 months now. When he was too small for the jumper I put him in the swing, turned it on to a nice gentle rock, and there were several nights that he slept in the swing instead of his crib because of whatever reason was keeping him up.

Also, your baby could very well be teething - babies can show symptoms of teething up to three months before getting a tooth. And another thing to consider is noise, light - what is different about where and how your baby sleeps at night versus the daytime. I'd also say to think about talking to your doctor about collic or acid reflux, but if the baby is sleeping good at night, I wouldn't think that is a problem.

Good Luck! I hope you get your days back soon!
M.

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S.J.

answers from Saginaw on

Sounds like a napper! my second child was like this! Never did grow out of it! LOL now he doesn't take naps and hasn't for 2.5 years he is 4 years old! Yikes I know but you will learn to adjust

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

my son was the same way. just took little cat naps for 20 min max during the day. he will eventually outgrow it and get on a scheduale. just keep working with him. i also agree trying different sleeping places and buying a sling or carrier you can wear with your baby. that way your arms are free and you can get a lot more done.

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J.D.

answers from Seattle on

I would talk to a your doctor and maybe have him tested for acid reflux. Good luck.

Ooopss..I didn't see that he is sleeping 6-7 hours/night. I would think that he is fine then. That is a very long stretch of sleep for a baby that age. I agree with the suggestion of carrying him in a front pack during the day.

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

My son was like this but around the clock 24/7...he usually only slept 20 minutes at a time...occasionally 40 minutes. He would scream for literally hours if put down...I was awake once for 72 hours straight.

I have no advice other than...this too shall pass...

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Get yourself a baby front pack and carry him on your body for the next several months. He'll fall asleep from time to time and he won't cry because he is next to you
Sleeping 6-7 hours at night please let well enough be. Most mothers have to nurse every 2 hours. Be glad he has this pattern and just let him be close to you.
One of my grandsons had to be held all the time. The only way to get him to sleep during the day was to have him next to your body. My daughter had to have him in her arms all day long. He would allow my mother or me or his father to hold him as well.
How is he now? Very independent.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi S.,
2 possibilities come to mind. The 1st is reflux. Some babies cry when they are put/ laid down because acid comes up and causes them a lot of pain/discomfort. This also causes them to not sleep well. My babies had reflux, and would sleep ok @night, but not nap during the day for any real length of time- I think they were just so exhausted from not sleeping all day. If it is reflux, prescription meds help A LOT :) BTW, even if he doesn't spit up much (or at all), it could be "silent reflux".

The 2nd is that some babies with sensory issues crave movement and are distressed if they are not moving. If this is the case, a swing might help. Actually, either way a swing might help. My babies slept best in the swing when they were that age- because they weren't laying flat.

Hang in there!!! I know how exhausting it is, but it will get better :o)

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