2Nd Baby Coming 18 Mos Apart!

My three boys are older now, but I don't recall ever putting milk in a bottle - we switched over to sippy cups. At first, it was juice in the cups (watered down a little) to get them interested in drinking from the cup, then milk as well. I think we promoted the idea of drinking from a cup "like mommy and daddy do" also. Good luck!!

Yeah, been there, done that. Only differences are my kids are 2 years apart, but we did the co-sleeping / night feeding thing too (I was breastfeeding, but same thing, at night). By the time #2 came along, I ended up moving into the other bedroom with the kids in order to let my husband sleep thru the night. He also has a physically demanding job. :::shrugs shoulders::: it's what has worked for us, so I don't worry about what others think. I never did the cry it out thing either, seems cruel to me. Do what works for you! :-)

Trust me, the second one is way easier than the first. Remember those days that you couldn't cook dinner with two hands because the baby needed to be held? I used to try to get my nieces and nephews to come over just to entertain the baby so that I could get something done! When my second child was born (21 months after the first) I was so pleased to see that my older daughter, still so much a baby herself, entertained the baby! I used two hands to cook most meals. The bottles at night should stop...maybe you can give her one last bottle, brush her teeth (make a big, happy production out of it, now that she's so big!) and then tell her nothing but water until morning. Work on that before the baby comes so that you don't have too many changes all at once. Good luck with quiet for you husband...not very likely with two kids, let alone one. He just needs to learn to sleep through it, or live with less sleep, like the rest of the fathers in the world! Don't worry about adding #2, it's going to be great!

Congrats!
My kids are 18 months apart a boy and a girl. And my boy was on sippi cup when my girl was born. It did not bother me it did not make my job that much harder... Do not worry, just be patient, and as girls told before, involve your first one in everything you do with a new baby, and constantly tell her it's her little brother or sister. Let her help you change diapers, wipe little feet, sing a lullaby etc. it'll help with jalousy issue, helped me big time. I do not believe in letting child cry it out. Most of the time kids need us to comfort them so why should we refuse? I slept with my first baby too, and when the second came I steel slept with my first one, and now a year later I bought him his little bed, put it next to mine, and he sleeps in it. He would climb to me 3-4 times a night, but I'd put him back as soon as fell asleep, now he stays in his bed. You'll be fine, trust your mommy instinct.Your first one doesn't have to grow up when the second comes, let her keep some of her babyhood, let her get used to her sibling before you make big changes (kid size big). Out of all advices choose the ones that fit you and your babies needs, nobody loves them more then you, nobody knows them better.

my 2 oldest are 14 months apart and i had a very similar problem when i was pregnant. I tryed everything to get my big one to sleep thru the night with out a bottle and to stay in her bed. in the end it came down to just letting her cry it out at night. it was bad in the beginning, she would cry so much that she would vomit but after 3 or 4 nights of screeming, i would be able to put her in her crib to go to sleep with out any screeming and she stayed all night. it is hard to listen to the screeming but in the long run it is worth it. i would defenitely do it now before your second is born. good luck!

M.,
You will do fine. Your concern is understandable. I certainly understand the husband wanting the quiet nights - mine does too, and though he says he is understanding, he mostly wants his nights quiet and doesn't want to get up for our son. I don't have another on the way yet, but I do get up for my son during the night to nurse him - his 'bottle'.

I too won't let him cry it out. Your daughter takes a bottle, which is more than my son will do. Is it possible to try to increase what she takes in during the day, and just before bed, so it isn't thirst she's working on?

I've been reading, and from what I have been reading, having a full belly isn't the cure-all for waking in the night like a lot of people tout it to be.

You might try rocking her before you give her the bottle, then gradually increase the wait time for the bottle, slowing the rocking while you are waiting. I am able to do this with my son at times, and he forgets wanting to eat and just falls back to sleep.

(Very rarely does he wake wanting to play - I smile at first and giggle with him just a little, then we do the sleepy strategy of lullabies, snuggling, then rocking, then sitting and rocking, then stopping rocking. Only once has he not fallen asleep this way after being perky and wanting to play. <side note> He is cute when he does this - he whispers his little comments - and it is so hard not to give in! :) He is also starting to sing with the lullaby, too.)

It can be done. It sounds like you will be persistent.

Good Luck!
M.

Hi,
Just to help motivate you to get rid of the bottle at night...my little cousin is 3 and still goes to bed with a bottle. He has all of his teeth except for the top 4. They are rotted right down to nubs! I feel bad for him. He didn't know that would happen, but his parents most likely did, and they chose to just give him what he wanted rather than doing what was right for him because it was just easier taht way. (or quieter, or quicker, etc..) It's hard sometimes to be strong for your child but just know you are doing the right thing. Your nights will be disrupted for a little while but it's for the health of his teeth and just maybe, he won't wake for bottle at all anymore and you will ALL be getting great sleep! Wouldn't that be great! (I think I breast fed until 18 months and that included at night so I am not judging you. ) Good luck!

I just had baby #2 two months ago, and my girls are also 18 months apart. I'm not sure how getting your daughter off the bottle is going to help you deal with two babies at once because the challenge is keeping one out of trouble while you tend to the other one, but I do think that it's easier to get her off of it now than, let's say, when she's 5.

Regardless, taking care of 2 babies is no joke. What has helped me the most is making sure that I involve my older daughter in everything I do with the new baby for a few reasons: to keep her from feeling jealous because she is being "left out", to help her bond with her sister by helping take care of her, and to keep an eye on her, because if she is next to me helping me with the baby she is not running around tearing the house apart while mommy is distracted. And helping can be something as simple as getting the pamper and wipes when you need to change the baby, or throwing to dirty pamper in the garbage, helping you rock the bassinet, anything that a 1 1/2 year old can handle. Trust me, she will be excited to be treated like a "big girl" and it will help minimize jealousy.

I have two that are 12 months apart and while it was hard at various points, I was able to find my way. My experience has led me to believe that I can make anything work, but it was important for me to find the things that I could handle and the things that just needed to change. Looking back on my experience, I would have left my daughter on the bottle before the second came, because she did regress and it was hard to get her off of it the second time. And for me, sleeping was very important (getting up at different times with different kids in the middle of the night was not an option for me), so I pushed the process of getting my first sleeping before the second was born.

But I think there are different things that are important to different people and you will find your way to handling the two of them. It will be challenging at times, but in my experience, nothing with kids is impossible. Keep your sense of humor - at times you just have to laugh when you are covered in food and two kids are screeching and in need of baths. This too will pass :) At some point they will be asleep in bed for at least a few hours :)

I've loved having them so close and they are starting to play together which is paying back in droves - I can cook dinner while the two of them are playing in the living room for almost an hour. It's great.

Good luck and most importantly, enjoy!

My doctor wanted me to get my son off the bottle by 18mths, we made it by 19. I started by replacing all of the day bottles with straw cups and then he weened himself from wanting milk at night. Does your daughter eat well? My son was a good eater so that helped. Every child is different, but most should be getting their major sources of nutrition from food by 18 months. Hope this helps.

Don't let people freak you out. When my second was born, my oldest was still in diapers and everyone kept telling me to get him out of them so it would be easier on me. Parenting isn't always about what's easier for us. He wasn't ready to potty train so yeah I had to change diapers for 2 for a while but it wasn't a big deal because I wasn't going to let it be.

Trust in yourself. Already I think you will be fine because you seem tuned in with your baby. I really wouldn't worry about what other people think.

Just remember to give your daughter alone time when you can and involve her as much as you will be able to a child her age. Let her hand you a diaper or get a toy for the baby. I have done these things with all three of my boys and they still get along wonderfully!

L.

M., it's a tough call...but in a few months...when the new baby comes, your first one is going to need the security of that bottle as you begin to give attention to the new baby. I'm speaking from a grandmother's perspective...and one who had four baies all close together. Little ones thrive on consistency and sameness...that is what creates the sense of trust in the world and people...and feelings of comfort. As it is, when the new baby arrives, the first may regress into more baby-like behaviors to gain your attention. Perhaps having her bottle for a while longer, would prevent some of that so that the task of handling two become less stressful. After awhile, then, as you cultivate the idea of her being the big sister, she can be convinced to give up the bottle.

Good luck!
R. Conte

Hi M.! First congrats!!! How exciting to have another baby coming!!! You will absolutely be able to hande two babies at once.. I have two who are 2 years apart. You just do it. One great tip of advice received when my second was a newborn, was when they are both crying or fussing for something, go to your oldest first, calm her down, give her a snack or whatever, and then go to the baby while having your older one sit next to you with a book or doll. The baby won't remember that you let him/her cry for a couple minutes, but your older daughter will remember that you went to the baby first.
As for the bottles, I let my kids wean themselves. My youngest gave it up about 3 ish, and at that point he was only having one in the morning.. yes, I know some will "bash" that, but it worked for me. As for the middle of the night feedings, she should be sleeping through at thsi point. Is she eating enough during the day? Maybe offer her a bedtime snack to see if that will help? You're in the bed with her, so she's not crying because she misses you; does she say she's hungry? does she just need to suck? does she take a pacifier?
good luck and just do what works best for you adn your family, without worrying about what others say!
best wishes,
C.

Hi M.. A 15 month old simply does not need "night feedings." She isn't having a feeding - at over a year, feedings are food meals, not bottles. It is a behavioral habit and one that's not recommended. Not only in that she just doesn't need a bottle or two of milk in the middle of the night, but you're setting her up for bottle rot if you're not getting her up and brushing her teeth afterward.
When you have children, nights simply aren't necessarily quiet. I'd have loved quiet nights so that I could be well rested at work the next day when my kids were babies/toddlers. I'm sorry if this sounds unsupportive, but I wouldn't put my child at risk for bottle rot so my husband could get his rest. Parenting sometimes involves inconvenience and disturbance of sleep. Stopping these "night feedings" has nothing to do with a 2nd baby coming in a few months, 15 month olds simply dont' need bottles during the night.
Good luck and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

M.,

Ok, so my babies were never this close together...my closest were 25 months apart, but you can do it! It will be crazy at first since your baby is so young, but with adequate support at home, you will be fine. You are still in the baby stage, so adding another baby won't be as hard as you think. I'm sure mothers of twins will have lots to say about this. I never figured I could handle that, but the truth is that God never gives us more than we can handle. You'll be great! Tired, but great!

D.
mother of five

The milk issue is easy. Start slowly replacing some of the milk with water. Increase the water amount slowly until you have all water. She will probably protest some, but please, please don't be one the mothers who give in to every whimper. Your whole family will regret it and your child will never learn to accept no as an answer. Also, you are going to have a new baby, as you already know new babies are demanding, so start putting your older child to be in her own bed. You may need to lay down with her for a while to get her used to it, but wean her onto sleeping on her own - besides eventually you and your husband may want to be alone in your own room!

Hello M.,
Don't worry you are doing great. I have two children fourteen months apart (two boys) and my eighteen month old still takes a bottle (one in the morning and one before bed time). Just be careful with the midnight feedings. That is a bad habbit to keep your child used to. I am a SAHM and my husband has a very physical job and has to leave the house at 4:30am! So I do my best to let him sleep too! But with one child it is easier than two! Your best bet is to get your daughter on an all night schedule in her own bed! Or else you are going to have your hands full...especially in the middle of the night!Have you just playing some soft music and snuggling instead of a feeding in the middle of the night? I am not one who belives in the letting them cry it out method either! Have you tried to let your daughter sleep in her own bed yet? That will make life a lot easier for you once your newborn arrives. Or else you are going to have both babies to deal with in the middle of the night. Just remember that a newborn wakes up every two hours for a feeding and mommy still has to be a wife and a mom all day long! My saving grace when we brought our baby boy home from the hospital was that my big boy was on a tight napping and sleeping schedule and loved his crib! This way I was able to give both boys the attention they both needed and after 7:30pm I was able to spend time with my husband too! Having two babies so close togther has been challenging but wonderful too! You are going to do just fine! Just make sure you take care of yourself too!

Hi!! My two are 12 months apart, my oldest is 16 months and my baby is 4 months right now. I had to take my oldest off a bottle becuase I knew the baby was coming, and it would be impossible to do it when the baby had a bottle. Has she ever taken a sippy cup? You can put milk in the cup, so it is something that she is used to. I had to try a few different kinds before I found one that she liked. Once she got used to using a cup, she would use almost any kind, but initially she would only use the ones she liked. I also taught her to use a straw by putting my finger on one end and letting her suck out of the other end, and eventually she learned that if she sucked, she would get something, now she loves to use a straw, and some of the cups come with straws that are really hard to spill. I am not sure what to do about the bottles at night, I would suggest giving her a sippy cup, and holding and cuddling her like you would with a bottle, but every baby us different, so I don't know if wht worked for me would work with you. I know how hard it is to have two so close together, but there are some wonderful aspects to it too. There are times when my daughter just can't take me paying attention to the baby, but then sometimes she will hug him and kiss him, and he loves her SO MUCH!! Sometimes, he will only smile for his big sister!!! At first, I felt like she was going to suffer from not getting enough attention, but I find it is just the opposite, she gets a ton of attention, and just loves being a big sister!! feel free to contact me any time if you have any questions, or just want to vent.
PS. Have you tried just conforting her at night when she wakes up, cuddling her, instead of giving her the bottle, she probobly doesn't need the bottle, but she's just used to it, and wants it for comfort.

Hi. I am 8 mos preg w/ my 4th. My 1st 2 are 17 mos apart, the next are 20 and the last will be 23 mos apart. Having 3 under 4yrs can be challenging, especially when you're pregnant, but you just rise to the occasion and do your best. Don't stress about having 2 close together and I wouldn't worry about totally eliminating a bottle. Unfortunately the key for managable nights is getting your oldest to sleep through the night and, for me, that only came when I let them cry it out. You can do it gradually-10 min the 1st night, 20 the next and so on. You should also really try to get her out of your bed if you have the space. My oldest is almost 5 and she would still sleep in my bed if I let her. It will be never ending if you don't kick that now. Also your husband needs to understand that your job is very physical also and if you are ever going to get a good night's sleep yourself he may have to deal with a couple of weeks of "noisy" nights. Good luck!

First of all, if your house is quiet my husband wants your address because he juggles 2 very demanding jobs and since having even just one child, our house is far from that. One suggestion I would have would be to maybe give your daughter something of more substance before bed so it fills her. As far as not being able to handle 2 children, heck i've got 2 girls 10 & 4 - if i can do it, so can you! Good luck and keep your chin up.

Hi M., My first and second child are 13 months apart. My second and third are 15 months apart. We all survived and the family is close. I re-married many years later and when my youngest was 14 I had a baby and 16 months later another baby. It is always a lot of work to raise children but having them close is really good for them. You also get out of diapers and stuff all together. Many couples try to plan. I let God do my planning and it worked out great. I am 62 and now happy to help raise my grandchildren. Grandma Mary

Hi M.,

Mine are 15 months apart and now 18 & 19! I never heard that rule about eliminating the bottle on the first before the second. We just let it happpen naturally, the move to the sippy cup. We had been trying it all along, so it eventually just took. I wouldn't worry about what everyone else says, including me! Just do what works for your children. God picked you especially to be their mother, so he specially equipped you to know and care for them better than anyone else does.

As for two so close together, hold on for dear life!! I do remember it being hard, but in retrospect I wish I hadn't worried/stressed so much about everything and just enjoyed them. Definitely rethink every process you do around the house & with them to see if there is a better, easier way to do it. Start with the thing you find the hardest and figure out the best strategy there and work your way through your day - one thing at a time. Mostly, look in your babies eyes, hold their little hands, kiss their little feet and love being their mom. Try to be as fair as you can to both with your time and energy. I would even discipline the baby (not that she understood or with a mean voice), so the toddler didn't always feel like he was the only one being stopped from doing what he wanted to do - like bite his sister & anyone else who bugged him for what seemed like a year!! Trully, this too shall pass. Enjoy each stage, thankfully and sorrowfully they don't last all that long in the end.

Mine are both headed off to college this fall - guess you can tell! You and your husband can do it - no doubt!!

Let me know if you need any help.

M.,
Congrats on the baby! Yes you will be able to do it. I did, so can you. Mine are not 18 months apart they are two years apart.People my bash this but don't do any dramatic changes. I have a 6 mth old and my other daughter is two 1/2. I co sleep with my two year old. There is some nights she stays in her bed some she is in mine. I may tried the cry out method but it is not my favorite. I feel I am here to comfort my kids not see them cry unnecessary. I have to tell you I love co sleeping with my daughter she sleeps for at least 8-10 hours because her mother loves to sleep too...lol. I recently in the beginning of these year cut the bottle out. I saw that my daughter was using her sippy cups more so I just went with it and she had a bottle at night. Then I one day decided to tell her that santa clause took her bottle and it went easy as cake. I think she was just ready to give it up. I did though after her sister was born. I told her that she was a big girl and she went with it because she saw that her sister was a real baby. I have to tell you I haven't seen any real jealousy issues but my two year old did recently start having bad tantrums. I am still alive and kicking. My doctor just feels that my baby is getting bigger and he feels my two year old is feeling that she does not have the attention. It is all worth it follow your instincts because that is what I did and it is so much easier for me.

Good Luck

Hi M.! Mine are 13mos apart so I can definitely relate to the "two babies at once" dilemma. Is she okay with a sippy cup instead of a bottle during the day?

M.,

Congratulations!

Yes, you can do this. (I have 2 daughters 18 months apart - tweens now).

First, I agree it would be easier to have the oldest off the bottle. However, it would also be easier to let the oldest give up the bottle when she's ready.

Some suggestions -
Everyone I've known that sleeps with their child has had problems. I never let my kids in my bed, but I did have to lay down every night with my oldest until she fell asleep. You and your husband belong in the same bed without kids.
When I would breastfeed (or when older the bottle), I would have the older daughter bring me a stack of books and we would read.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. There will be many times when you feel like you need ten more arms, call a friend or relative.