2.5 Year Old Going to Daycare for the First time...I'm Nervous

I am a daycare provider and in my experience children who start daycare when they are older need an adjustment period, at 2.5 they understand the concept of being left. Most of my daycare children over the past 14 years started with me at 6 weeks and grew up with me and my family.The best way is to tell her you love her and leave, she will probably have a melt down, but the more you prolong the leaving the harder it will be for both of you. J.

Most kids do freak out at the beginning when they realize you're leaving. Do a quick and simple good-bye and let the teachers take over from there. Smile and be happy when you do this. Teachers are skilled at dealing with crying kids. Kids often put on a show for mom and dad and then do just fine as soon as they can't see you.

The first weeks are the hardest, but it gets easier from there. Our son started daycare at two and cried dramatically at the beginning only as I was leaving (apparently ran off and played as soon as I left). It didn't take long before he would run off in the morning and not even give me a kiss or hug! Daycare ended up being super for our son. He was a late talker and his language skills went through the roof in just the first couple months there. I honestly wish we'd started him earlier, we saw so many benefits.

Best of luck! This can be a really wonderful, positive transition and an opportunity for your daughter to grow in amazing new ways.

1. Talk it up! About all of the cool stuff they have & projects they will do, etc.
2. Keep a positive attitude all the way right through departure time (even if you feel like YOU are going to throw up!).
3. As the big day approaches, remind her of what she'll do, needs to bring (lunch, snack), and let her know that you'll be there at X:00 to pick her up.
4. Take her in, "hand" her to the staff, tell her "Bye, Suzy, see you at X:00." and....turn.....and...leave.
5. Never let her see you sweat. They sense any ambivalence, wishy-washyness, or sadness like sharks smell blood in the water!

She'll be OK. Daycare providers have dealt with a few drop off sniffles MANY times over. You can call in an hour or two to double check that she's doing alright.

Good luck!

My best tip as a working Mom is to keep your excitment for her new school high in front of her. Go visit once or twice with her so that she can play on the playground once and maybe listen to a story another time. All before her official start date. Your preschool should allow this. Ours always has. On the big day do your drop off thing and then leave. If she cries when you walk out I usually turn around and give her one more kiss, tell her Mommy always comes back, and then you have to take a deep breath and just leave. Don't keep turning around because it can be a never ending battle. Then stay out of sight in the hallway (you can cry too). You can peak through the window when you think its safe. Just don't let her see you. Then call a few times to check on her. If mine is having a rough morning for whatever reason I always call from my car when I am on the way to work. Makes me feel better. I sometimes will call back at lunch to just make sure. At 2.5 she will love preschool! It may take some adjustment but don't let her think you are worried about it. Do explain it to her though. I created a picture calendar for the week. I used a crayon sticker for the days she went to school so she could visually see when she went. That worked for us.

HI Mama,
I'd leave her for a couple days for shorter days. Instead of 6 hours make it 2 or 3 and see how she does. I would not make the transition any longer than a week though.

As a daycare provider, what works the best is to take her in give her a hug and a kiss, let her know you'll be back at the end of the day, after nap, after lunch (be specific if it coincides with any of the daily schedule), and walk out the door. Don't give her sad face, don't hesitate at the door if she cries and reaches for you. This will only make it harder for her and for you too.

Kids are so resilient and also very perceptive. If you seem sad she will too. A good provider will be right there when you leave, either holding her and helping her say good-bye or close by to assist. And they will redirect and engage her in an activity so the upset of you leaving is short. I always encourage parents to call after a half an hour or so. I'd so much rather reassure them that their child is happily playing than have them sitting at work worried about how they're doing.

Also realize that she may seem fine when you leave for the first few days up to a couple of weeks, and then the novelty may wear off and she might have trouble with the drop offs. If it's a good fit though, it won't be long that she'll cry when you pick her up because she's having fun and doesn't want to leave!

Good luck~ What you're doing is really good for her!

Be patient and know that there will be times she throws a fit---for you
I drove a van for a pre-school once and will never forget the time I literally had to pry the child off his grandma. he had what I call the monkey grip legs and arms wrapped around grandma. crying screaming. Had her put him in the carseat and fasten him in - everyone emotional - pulled away and got 1 block away and grandma called changing her mind for me to bring him back. I was at the stop signed so I answered the phone. there was no crying no screaming - nothing but laughter the grandma thought she had the wrong van. I confirmed I had just left her home. She didnot believe me and walked to the van to see the child laughing etc. She decided to send him to school afterall.
However my advise to you is to call to see if the child calmed down - give them 30 minutes or so to distract the child before you call to ask.
Keep in mind your child may cry once they see you again........or may cry they don't want to leave.......so dont' take it to heart.

With my youngest, I worked from home for a while. When he was between the ages of 2 and 3 I had to put him into full time day care. The center was very helpful and let me bring him for a short time for a couple days the week before he started full time. The 1st time I hung around for a while before leaving. That helped him in that he was somewhat familiar, but wasn't there for an extended time before I came back. The next week it wasn't nearly as hard as I think it would've been had I just dropped him off for several hours in an unfamiliar environment.

She will be fine and you will both adjust. Talk it up, make her think you are excited about it and don't act nervous or apprehensive when you drop her off.

Be prepared that she will love it the first and second day, and then may have the breakdown. The best thing to do if she does start crying, you reassure her and then leave. The teachers will distract her and get her into an activity, because they know this will indeed probably happen to every parent and they are prepared for it. It will be harder for you to leave her, but don't take it too hard, every parent goes through it and I cried both times leaving my boys for the first time. My boys, 2 and 4, have had to go to daycare and now preschool since they were 6 months old, and they all go through their transitions differently, just be patient and know that daycare can be really beneficial for most children. I think a lot of how you feel and react, will affect how she transitions, so be careful how you react to situations and give reassurance often for the first couple of months.

I was exactly in the same boat when my daughter turned two. She is a very sensitive and overly attached only child and I had all the same fears as you. It took a long time to find the right place and it sounds like you have. I can tell you my daughter cried the first 3 weeks straight but I stuck to my plan and kissed her goodbye and waved to her at the window. Her teachers were excellent in calming and comforting her. I have to say the worst thing about it is that I got a sick empty feeling in the pit of my stomach for awhile but it went away quick. Now at 31/2 it's hard to pull her away to go home. Once they get through the initial anxiety it is all fun for them. Good luck mama. Been there.

I was going to say exactly what Julie did. As a daycare provider and mother of 4 (who have been in daycare when they were little). Hug her, kiss her, tell her you love her and will see her in a little bit and LEAVE. The longer you drag it out the harder it will be for you both.

This isn't to say that you can't hang out for a bit at first, but when you go to leave, just do it. (And make sure you have tissues in the car, I know I sat and cried for a good long time the first day I left my kiddos) Good luck!

Awww! I'm an inhome provider of 20 years. What I can tell you is that it mainly depends upon your daughter's personality of how she will do. And what she's been exposed to during her short life (playdates without you? being left with grandma? things like that). It could go anywhere from a super easy transition to a super tough transition. The biggest thing is that if she sees you being nervous, then she will be. And kids can pick up on your feelings super easily even if you don't think you are showing it. Another thing is don't be surprised if she does really well the first couple of weeks and then the tears start. This is very common. The newness (and new toys!) wears off. If your daughter does 'freak out' for you when you try to leave (either now or in a couple of weeks) simply tell her you love her and will be back and just go. Almost always the child calms down within a few minutes and is fine. I think there's only been ONE time in my 20 years as a provider that I had a child continue to cry and cry. That is pretty unusual. It's always harder on the parents than it is on the child. As far as giving you tips, other than leaving quickly, just be consistent. Try to drop off and pick up at the same time of the day every day you take your child to daycare. Kids thrive on routine. Ask the provider(s) if you can call to see how she's doing in the event she begins to cry when you leave. That should reassure you. And mostly know that you are correct that your daughter will get a lot out of her new situation. Good luck!

Does she HAVE to go to preschool? What are your REAL reasons for enrolling her into a preschool? Kids communicate in many ways. Crying is one big way she'll communicate, "i dont want to be here!" so then just DONT take her there that day. And if she does it everytime, stop taking her there. Obviously the only thing she'd be "getting out of it" (your words) is negative things, not positive. Remind yourself why she's there in the 1st place and constantly re-visit those thoughts to be sure it is still what you were wanting from the preschool experience. If you go to the grocery store when she's cranky and irritable, do you say, "too bad you're going anyhow" or do you ask yourself, "could we maybe do this at another time?" we need to listen to our children and what they're trying to tell us. That's a foundation of trust. Good Luck :-)

Make it a matter of fact thing with her! Take her, Say your goodbyes and leave. If she gets upset, still leave. They will call you if it gets too much. If you keep going back, she will learn that a tantrum will get you back right away. I worked in a daycare that one of the boys was very manipulative. I so wished his mom would see how he acted when she was out of sight, he was an older 2yo.
She will do great...best thing...keep your anxiety to yourself till she is out of sight!! She will do better than you!! LOL!! Mom is always the one affected more from what i have seen!!