20 Month Old Wont Brush

Updated on January 20, 2010
A.B. asks from New Glarus, WI
13 answers

I am having the darndest time brushing my daughter's teeth. Her resistance started a while back and I chalked it up to teething, but it has now gone on for over 2 months. Using the toddler toothpaste does not seem to help. I have tried just at least wiping her teeth with a washcloth -- she bites (OUCH!), stuggles, shakes her head and clamps her mouth shut. I am being as gentle as I can -- I really don't think it hurts her at all and maybe she just doesn't like having me put something in her mouth? Has anyone had this experience? Any suggestions? My older son (now 4) had a little of this same issue, but not near this bad! Some days I just give up and I am worried about her dental health!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of the wonderful suggestions, everyone!! Reading your responses made me remember what worked pretty well (for a while anyway) with my son at that age. Similar to suggestions about "bugs" or "cows", etc. in the teeth, I would tell him I needed to take a look in his mouth, then spot "Elmo", "Big Bird" or any number of his other favorite characters in there -- then we'd have to brush to get them out. I tried this last night with my daughter and presto -- teeth were brushed! Wow, thank you everyone.

More Answers

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

I got my kids one of those battery operated 'character' brushes...This was probably a walmart purchase years ago...made ME wish I had stock in the battery company!!

Good luck
michele/cat

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J.L.

answers from Davenport on

give her a toothbrush and "take turns" you get a few swipes, she gets a few swipes on your teeth. Ask her if you need to say EEEEE or ahhhh, if you give her back some of the control, she'll get back into it. And I would recommend placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth so your tonsils survive! Yes, we're going through this too.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

My middle one was the WORST! We had to hold him down every night to brush his teeth for months. Around the time he hit 2-years-old he got better about it.
The best way I found was to sit on the floor with my legs spread apart in front of me, lay him on his back with his head closest to me and use my legs to hold his arms down. Does that make sense? It sounds cruel, but I was careful not to hurt him and his teeth got cleaned every night, even though he screamed the whole time- although an open mouth makes it easier to brush. =)
Now that he's 3, we let him brush his own teeth and then we have a turn to make sure every tooth gets brushed.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was also going to say let her do it herself and then you come in after she has a chance to do a quick scrub. I always tell me girl...oh you have a cow in your mouth, you have a monster on your teeth, oh there are purple germies etc...she thinks it is funny and lets me get in there a few seconds more. we also play dentist...like she is the patient and i am the dentist...this works too.

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L.S.

answers from Madison on

Hello my friend...we sing at our house. Of course with all girls they love to sing like Ariel while I brush their teeth (after they get a chance to do it themselves) Barney has a toothbrush song and sometimes we make one up. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. L does better when she watches A and A first...I make sure they know they are setting a good example. Maybe let T pick out her toothbrush? Also, L has one she plays with (I throw it in the dishwasher) and she especially likes it when teething. Good luck :)

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

I've had this experience with both my kids when they were little like that. The solution is to totally drop it. Do not attempt to engage in tooth-brushing with them for a week or two (I know it sounds gross but it worked for us!). Once you know she's forgotten the struggle, take her to the store and let her pick out her own toothbrush and toothpaste and flossers...and a neat little holder to keep them in....and that evening make sure to re-start the dental routine. It worked wonders for us when that phase arrived!!!! I also want to stress the importance of you doing all the flossing and then brushing for your child until she is old enough to do it on her own, like at age 5 or so. I mean, you should definitely do all the flossing for her--but then, you can let her brush her own teeth but you can then say, "oops you missed a spot, let me get that for you" and then you can re-brush for her.

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T.M.

answers from Madison on

My son was breifly bad at this too, then I started a thing where I would tell him we had to chase all the bugs off his teeth and he found that really fun, of coarse if your daughter is afraid of bugs try something else like dolls or something else.

A friend of mine was going thru this with her youngest and her oldest was just starting to loose there baby teeth so she told the youngest if he didn't brush then he was going to loose his teeth just like his sister. It worked, not sure if it's a good route, but at least it worked.

You could also ask your dentist for suggestions.

Good Luck.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Do you ever let her do it on her own? Our 21 month old loves loves loves brushing her teeth (kind of strange because I hate it). She likes to do it first, and then we go back in and make sure it's done well.

I heard another mom once recommend saying that they needed to play a tickling game. It seemed that tickling other parts (underarms, tummy, feet) and then finishing with the teeth did the trick.

My husband gets to be the bad guy with teeth brushing.

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S.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

Thanks for posting this! I'm having the same issue with my 18 month old (nearly 19 month).
We tried letting her do it herself, no good, me brushing results in major frustration for both of us.

Our doc suggested using a rag with a bit of training paste and just to do it very quickly, a little brushing is better than no brushing.

I'll be watching this to see how other mommas overcome this!

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T.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes, my daughter did the same thing at about that age. We didn't fight it too much and would try ways to make her excited to have her teeth brushed like getting a new toothbrush that she got to pick out and we explained to her at the store that part of picking out a new toothbrush was that she'd have to brush her teeth everyday and keep them all clean and pretty. Then we also picked out 'special' toothpaste that was only for her to use. When we got home from the store, we immediately had her brush her teeth and made a BIG deal out of how well she did when she was done - lots of praise. Pretty much took care her refusing to brush. Once she was doing it on her own, about once a week we would tell her we would brush her teeth first and then she could also brush her teeth and get another little bit of toothpaste (she loved the flavor of it, so getting a double amount was a treat to her!) to finish brushing.
Just be creative and I'm sure your little one will soon be looking forward to brushing their teeth each morning and night :)

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C.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Don't give up, I did and had to pay for it my daughter ended up with so many cavities we had to go to the hospital to put her asleep for all the fillings. Make it something fun to do I got an electric toothbrush from the dollar store and but a stitch of her favorite character on it , also use the inspector mouthwash and she finds it fun when her mouth turns blue and she has to make it all go away. But if she's really fighting it brush them in her sleep. But what ever you do don't let her get away with not brushing.

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

Have you tried taking "turns" brushing her teeth? Let her brush her teeth and then you. See if she will take turns like that. My little ones fought for a little while. I started my baby with actual brushing her teeth when the first ones emerged. Before that I used a wash cloth so she was more use to having me in her mouth.

L.S.

answers from Davenport on

With my son he hated brushing for the longest time. I would brush his teeth everytime and he would just cry. Then we got to the point where he wanted to do it himself, watching mommy and daddy do it helps, I would then let him do it and
I would do it so it was done right. He is 3 years old now not sure when the crying all stopped but I think as long as you keep at it crying or not your child will start to let you do it. The funny thing is my son doesnt mind the brushing now but a couple months ago wouldnt let anyone clean his teeth, I hope the next time we go back in he will let them clean his teeth!
Just keep doing what your doing and maybe let your child do it first or play with the brush then say its mommy's turn I really think in time she will let you do it and enjoy it! Good luck!

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