2 Year Old in a Motorcycle Sidecar???

You may be able to take the blame off you and still get your way. Call DMV or the police department and ask if there is an age limit on riding in a sidecar. If it's against the law well it's against the law she can't go. I'm not sure that your dad is undermining you but I do think he is being sneaky about the whole thing. I would insist no matter what that she have a helmet and protective clothing. I know most motorcycle drivers are safe and careful but not all drivers of cars are. I know if it were my child I would allow it.

Hi J.,

I definitely would not let my 2 year old ride in a motorcycle sidecar on the road...could he maybe just give her a very slow, short ride in the yard??? Of course, you might be starting something to even do this...you know she's only going to want more once she does it...especially if she realizes you aren't hep on it....children pick-up on that really quick. I know it's hard to tell Dad "no", but that's what I would do...I have a grandparent who picks up one of my daycare children on a small motorcyle, and it just makes me cringe every time he shows up with it. One little mistake, and in a split-second, that whole family's life could be a nightmare....not worth it!

Good Luck!

C.

First off, I don't think it's legal.

2nd, when it comes to matters of safety, there is no compromise. You are so totally allowed to go back on your giving the ok when you didn't really mean it.

It's hard especially when it's family, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down. I have even had to say "no" to my own husband on occasion because what he was proposing simply didn't feel safe enough to me. Stick to you guns and gently but firmly put your foot down. Say "dad, I really didn't think you would have bought a sidecar this soon. She jjust can't ride in it until she's big enough. I'm sorry.)

You can do it!

J.,

You are the parent - your child, your rules. That being said, you did agree to it before he bought the sidecar. If it was me, I would compromise. I would let my child ride on a closed course or off road or back road only - no where there was a possibility of contact with another car. He could take her to the fairgrounds or a stadium parking lot when not in use, an open field, a farm road, etc. Drive slowly and safely and she will be fine.

I am not sure it's even legal for him to take her on the street if she doesn't fit in the seat belts. Car seats aren't designed for motorcycle side cars. It's hard enough to get them properly installed for the cars they were made for. It may look safer to have her in there in a carseat, but it's probably a false security.

We were recently on vacation and my husband was trying to convince me that someday he should get a motorcycle for fun and that they were really safer than people think. I was totally against it. The next day we saw an accident where a motorcyclist lost control and ended up under a semi truck. His bike was in a hundred pieces all over the freeway and he left the scene in a body bag. My husband stopped talking about the motorcyle after that.

This is a little different than some extra sweets or a delayed bedtime at grandparents' house. Remember the past generation was raised differently and safety wasn't a big concern. I remember my dad letting me ride on the hood of our car for fun. He let me drive when I was 10. The first car I owned didn't even have seatbelts because it was built in 1964. Parents are held to a higher level of accountability for their children's safety now.

Good luck,
S.

Big fat NO! Tell him he will have to wait until she is at least (insert age here, of your choice). I have gone through a similar situation with my dad. He lives in a large town that is a stand alone, not in a metro area and he thinks it's perfectly fine to not put an older infant/ toddler in a carseat on short trips round town. He thinks its even more ok when there is another passenger in the car that can 'hold onto them'. I told him that unless he used a carseat, he would not take the kids anywhere and we couldn't bring them down for overnight visits. I turned it the other way around with "I'm sure your a safe driver, and I trust you to have them in the car with you. But I know you would be devastated if someone else was stupid, came along, and hit you guys" Maybe pull out the crazy teenagers that 'race' down the backroads. I know it's tough, but in the end, you're the parent. Yes, he can spoil her a bit, but this is just too young for that activity.

I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to put your foot down and say not until she is older and can fit in the seat belts. She is YOUR child and her safety is paramount. Your father should respect that. And if you have to hurt your father's feelings by saying 'no' than so be it. How would you both feel if something happened to her? A lot worse than a few hurt feelings, I say. This is COMPLETELY different than 'letting a few sweets' slide. Side car or not, motorcycles are dangerous and people can get seriously hurt or killed on them. You might just have to say to your dad, "I understand your excitement as a grandpa, but you have to understand my concern as a parent" or something to that effect. Don't let him override your wishes. Good luck!

I would also suggest that you contact your local law enforcement and ask what the laws are. But even if it is legal, there is no way I would let my 2 year old ride in a side car--even on back roads. I grew up in a rural area with lots of back roads and the majority of motorcyle/ATV accidents that happened where on the back roads and private property. It only takes a small patch of gravel on a corner, a rabbit running across the road or a steep hill to cause a potential accident. In my eyes, it isn't worth the risk. Not because I wouldn't trust my father, but because I don't trust all the other drivers on the road.

I can't even believe his is an issue that needs to discussed. Seriously? TWO YEARS OLD? Has the world lost all its common sense?

I just saw Tori Spelling and her husband put their son inbetween them,at night,(BUT wearing a helmet)and almost had a heart attack. My son and her son are almost the same exact age and would never THINK to do that.

Your dad will get over his hurt feelings but you can't replace our child when something goes wrong. Life is already too unpredictable so don't add to it.

I looked up the IA state laws for you.

http://home.ama-cycle.org/amaccess/laws/result.asp?state=IA

It appears that there are no age limits to ride, but I really think you have the final say. Maybe a ride with you, her on your lap, and just one time around the block kind of thing. I then verbally say/set a age limit (5-8ish) that at that time she will be allowed to ride on her own. HTH

Well I'll be the oddball here... my step dad has a Harley, one of the Ultra Classics with the huge back seat, back rest, arm rests, all that. My 7yr old has been going on rides with him since he was about 5yrs old. He LOVES riding with Grandpa, he's always well protected and he knows how to properly sit, wearing a helmet, etc. And Grandpa drives easy with him on. He's very cautious and take rides in the country where my mom lives.

A sidecar... my gosh my boys would squee with joy for a sidecar. They about jump out of their car seats when they see one going down the road. I would let my 3yr old ride in the side car, they'd get the biggest kick out of that.

but it would depend on the ride... .is he taking her down Hwy 94 during rush hour, or around the block in the suburbs or in the country?

If you are uncomfortable, say no. otherwise let her go for short rides, YOU set the limits and if he doesn't stick to them then call it off.

J., I think 99% of the reasons motorcycles are dangerous is because of the other drivers on the road. If it were me - I would emphasize that you think your dad is a safe driver, but the motorcycle riding in general isn't something that you would want anyone in your family doing. But, on that note, you could say that you would be willing to let your daughter still "ride" if Grampa is driving around in a big empty parking lot or maybe out on some safer country road. More like a "ride", less like actual transportation from here to there. Good luck - remember, you have the right to change your mind!

I would call the non emergency line at the police station. Maybe it is illegal and that will get you off the hook. :)

Seriously, I would check about the need for booster seat, helmet, etc. If all the precautions are taken, perhaps a ride around the block would be ok?

Most states don't allow a child under the age of 5 to ride in a side car and it is definitely not a good idea for you to ride in the side car holding her! Don't get me wrong. I ride motorcycles, but if you are uncomfortable with it just be upfront with your Dad. My dad wanted to take my 2 year old on the lawn mower with him. I said no. He respected my wishes. I had a friend from high school who is a farmer and he would take his daughter with him in the tracter (enclosed cab) while he mowed hay. One day the cab door wasn't latched and they hit a bump. The outcome was not good. Please just tell your father that although you said if he got a side car that she could ride with him that you are just not comfortable with it right now because your daughter is so young. Tell him you are sorry you said she could if he bought a side car but she is your first child and you really don't feel comfortable about her riding. He should understand... after all you are his little girl and he shouldn't want you to worry.

Just this past school year a Bloomington Jefferson high school student was killed when his friend took him for a "safe" ride just through the parking lot of the Chiropractic school by Jefferson. A car leaving the lot didn't see them and hit them at maybe 5 miles per hour. The student was thrown off the bike and was killed. This is not a good idea no matter how short a ride. Tell Grandpa no. If he's mad, he's mad. I love my kids grandpa more than anything - he was the best Dad to me and we have a tight bond, but I'd end my relationship with him before I'd put my kids in danger to appease him.

Hi,

I will be one of the odd balls here! My, now 7 year old son, has been riding his dirt bike since he was 20 months old. Yes, with training wheels and the throttle adjusted down. We would also take our kids on ATV at a young age around our land.

I would have let my kids ride in a side car at that age if there was a seat belt and it wasn't on busy roads. Around residential areas would be safe for me, not over 25 miles an hour. Your dad would be so proud!! Her first ride. Now, if he wanted to go through busy streets or for a longer time I would put my foot down on that one. You know how much your daughter can sit still. I would also love to sit in the car with her, it would be fun!

I bet a side care was safer then you in front and your brother behind your dad as kids. If your daughter would get bored quick, then absolutly not. Go with your gut. Dad will always under stand. Or, get a baby sitter for your little one and you go with dad for a nice afternoon ride. Take him out for lunch...

Good luck.

No way would I feel comfortable with this...probably not even with an older child, unless it was like Beth H suggested, just around the block. Listen, you are the mom, put on this earth to protect that child at all costs. NEVER put that child in danger or go against your gut instincts just to smooth something over with a family member or friend. YOU are the one who has the responsibility to keep your child safe, and stand up against bad judgment. If you get to a point where you feel more comfortable later, you can decide then. Good luck with your dad. I don't know your relationship with him, but in this case I don't think I'd have any problem telling my dad he was out of his mind.

Just say "NO!" you don't need a reason, you are her Mom.

He isn't undermining your authority, you consented to it HOPING it wouldn't happen. But it did. Bottom line, she is your child and you can refuse, however, it would hurt your dad over something that can be resolved.
You could allow him to go on back roads only and at a certain speed. Your dad loved your daughter, he is NOT going to take risks with her. I have found that my parents are even more cautious with the grandkids than they were with us kids.
Your dad has found something he enjoys and wants to share with his grand daughter.
Do check out motorcycle laws, maybe even call the police department and ask them about children riding in side cars. There may be an out for you. But I believe it will be fine.

When my kids were small they rode with their dad on the motorcycle also. My 2 year old loved it and I shiver now thinking I let him ride in front of his dad when there were no helmets to fit right.

First off, find out if there is a law against it. Most if not all states have that if you have a child in a motor vehicle which I would think a side car would fit that discription, they need to have carseats at 2. Second find if there is helmets that fit right for your daughter. If not, don't let your daughter go. If there is and it is ok with the law, maybe just around an empty parking lot, like a school parking lot when no cars are there. It is safer and she still gets her ride with grandpa. If you really are against it then pull out the mommy card and say NO and if he asks why or tries to guilt or talk you into it, tell him it isn't up for discussion, you are the mommy and you get to decide on this matter.

Isn't it funny how things change when we become parents. I remember almost 30 yrs ago having my 3 yr old nephew on the chopper between my husband and myself and not thinking twice about it while we were out on the highway. Yet when my daugther was 3 even though we live in a state without a helmet law (pro choice all the way) and I usually don't wear one she had to have one on to ride. I'm afraid I don't know too much about side cars since I've never been in one, however is there a compromise you can reach with your dad since this seems important to him? A helmet is a must even if your state doesn't say so and perhaps you can ride with her in the side car and have dad just go on city streets where the speed wouldn't be so fast.

It still all boils down to YOU are her parent and the final call is up to you.

Best of luck

Hi J.
I am not sure where you live but in the state of Wisconsin you can not ride a motorcycle until you are twelve laws may be different for a side car but I don't think so. I would google motorcycle laws for where you live and make that the reason you are telling your dad. no you don't want to break the law

If you care enough about this issue to write about it - print this page, along with all the responses, and show it to your dad. As I'm reading this, you got more than 25 responses so far!

(P.S. I agree - NO WAY should a 2-year old be in a sidecar. Let your dad try it witht he dog first and see how that goes -ha ha)

I am pretty sure it is against the law under 12 years old but even if it wasn't there is absolutely NO way my 3.5 year old would ever get to go on a motorcycle (or a sidecar). He is still required to be in a carseat and there is a reason for that, maybe after 8 years old when they no longer require a booster or anything, then MAYBE and even then it would be on 20 mile an hour neighborhood roads.

mom, i would just tell your dad that you would feel better about it when she is older. its possible she would actually be TERRIFIED now, so now would be a no.

if you HAVE to give in on this, you can ride with her, and perhaps around the block , or up and down the driveway or something, depending on where you live. NO highways, NO freeways. no roads where 55 MPH is allowed. you cant imagine how illegal that it is. ive never even HEARD of ANY child riding on a motorcycle, so the legal implications are that if they were seen by a cop, or got in an accident not only could it be deadly, no matter what, but the fine could be very very large.

perhaps you know someone who is a sherrif or cop or something, or you can go online and find out laws about children and motorcycles. see what you can come up with.

Though I cannot help with a creative way to explain your decision to your father...I do support your concerns whole heartedly. That is simply too young. I would have qualms about my 8 yr old in a motorcycle side car.

You were raised around motorcycles it sounds like... you know your dad better than anyone. Obviously he was careful with you and your brother. So he will be carefull with your child also. The only thing I would make sure is that the side car has a seat belt or if he would be able to put a 5 point harness in it... like the car seats. or if you could hook the carseat in the side car.

My dad has taken all of my boys on his motor cycle. We live in a small town and he is carefull. My kids all took their first ride on their first birthday. That is the "tradition" my dad has with my kids. He is very careful and our town is pretty quiet. I wont deny that I get nervous every time any of my kids get on with him.. I'm bad at the "what if". But after 12 years they have always come back safetly... even thou it only takes one time, but that is the risk we all take even getting out of bed in the morning.

I would feel better about it having my kids ride in front of my dad then in the side car. If they would get bored or antsy there wouldn't be anything to keep him in the seat. Thats why I think a car seat hooked in or a 5 point harness would be better.

But it comes down to its your choice and you have the final say in it... it is your child. Hopefully your dad will understand and respect your choice... he will be disappointed but maybe he will remember a time that he had to do that with his own parents.
Good luck with your choice.

You are the mom and have every right to choose what you think is best for your child.
That being said, I have a 2-year-old and I would TOTALLY trust my dad to take him for a slow ride around a block or two if he was properly restrained and wearing protective gear. Honestly, how different is it than pulling your child behind you in a bike trailer? THOSE are harder to see than a motorcycle with a side car! I'm sure your dad will take every possible precaution to keep his grandchild safe.
I would, however, check with the DMV or police department to make sure there isn't an age limit or special requirement, first.

I can understand why you both feel the way you do, but as the mommy of a 2 year old girl myself, I would also say "no way." Dont give in & undermine your mommy instincts because someone teases you or makes you feel pressured. 2 years is still a baby in many ways. Even with a helmet, it wouldn't take much to hurt her. I am a cautious person, i was in a wreck as a child that still causes me pain at 31. I just don't think it's worth it. You do what you feel is best, mommies have a 6th sense. If you change your mind because you are more informed, that's different, but if you don't, feel good about going with your instinct.

My dad is a motorcycle collector car kinda guy.

I have a 9mo.old and a 7yr.old if I was in your shoes I'd let him take my older child around the block or something but not any farther and not leave his quiet little neighborhood. My child would of course be wearing a helmet and all too. I don't think I would let my dad take my child out in heavy traffic where there's stop lights or anything.

Imagine a rock being kicked up by a car and hitting her in the face. I drove a convertible for 5 years and I was so thankful for my windshield. You are the parent and it is your choice what you want to do with your child.

I will share a story: My in-laws bought my daughter a tow behind inflatable boat for my daughter when she was 3 and I simply was not comfortable with having her in a boat behind their pontoon so far away if she tipped. I don't want her to get scared of water or change her mind about being in the boat when she is 30 feet behind the boat. It was hard because they were so excited and they spent $200 on this towable boat that I would not let them put her in, but as her parent it is my decision, I don't care if they think that I am being overbearing.

Tell your dad to keep the sidecar and that when she is 10 and has full leathers and a helmet with a facemask you will consider it. If something happened to her you would never forgive yourself for letting your parents pressure you. The world is not the same as it was when we were kids.