19 Month Old Not Feeding Herself

Hi T.,
Not to sound cruel, but I would try setting there with her or doing your normal routine (working in the kitchen folding clothes or anything else us moms do while our toddlers are eating) and just make yourself not do it for her. When she gets hungry enough, she will eat. Also try eating at the same time and tell her that you are eating your food and she needs to eat hers and make her feel like a "big girl". It will be hard but try not to do it for her. I was a single mom for 12 years and I know how hard it is but you have to be strong. Good luck!
SAHM of three 14,9,4.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.,

I really think there is a connection between starting daycare and her not wanting to feed herself. My son went through the same thing. He goes to daycare all day once a week and decided after 6 visits that he would rather stay with mommy, so he stopped eating. It's their way of expressing themselves. It has been 8 weeks now and he still doesn't eat much there... I just hope he snaps out of it!
Give her lots of loving and snuggles when you are together and let her know you are there for her. Good luck to you both!

It may just be a phase she is going through. I would check out the school because they may not let the younger children feed themselves therefore making it harder on you because your daughter will want you to feed her. If that is what they do then you can request that she be able to feed herself.
D.

I am 31 and have been married almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

Kind of sounds like she misses her mommy and wants her mommy to do things for her.
I'm meaning she might be experiencing a little seperation anxiety. And she deals with it way different than a lot of other children, so she wants to know if you are still gonna be there and do things for her, because she misses you doing certain things for her. If she acts like her arms are hurting maybe there is something else going on at the daycare center that your unaware of. They can smile in your face and be nice to you just to give you nothing to worry about act, when they can be hurting your daughter.
I've had that problem with my first two children, I had them in a daycare and they were really nice people and what I saw great to the kids as well. Until my oldest daughter started talking about how boys touch and kiss girls at the center (she was 3yrs) and my youngest ended up with a black eye and bruises on her arms. I yanked them out of the day care and reported them. So keep an eye on her arms and hands. If everything is alright, than she just wants moms attention!

She wants your undivided attention and is using this as one way to obtain it. It isn't that she can't feed herself, she has just decided you will spend uninterrupted time with her and baby her during this time.
She will outgrow it. If you want it to stop relatively soon I would suggest the following:
Prepare your meal and hers at the same time. Sit down with her with her food on her plate and tray (if you use a high chair) and your food on the table across from her. Sit down and eat at the same time. When you are finished ask her if she is done. If she says "no" sit back and have another cup or glass of something to drink while waiting for her to finish. Once you are done clear both plates, wash her up, and go on to the next thing you would normally do in the morning and/or evening. Do not offer snacks, etc., until you would normally have a bedtime snack and keep the snack light and healthy, then her bath and off to bed.
After several nights of this she will start feeding herself again at meal time.