18 Month Old Won't Sleep!

My husband bought a used copy of that Dr Ferber book and it goes into detail about different sleeping disorders and how to slowly ease out of them. My nine month old has been waking 3-5 times a night as well. The book will tell you that the nook needs to go. I was kind of against the book because it seemed cruel from what I heard about it, but I have read some of it (as we've only had it a few days) and it's really helping me to understand my child's sleep. So far it seems to be working!

My 3 kids have never been on a good sleep routine. As toddlers they were, and 22 mo old still is awake until 9:30-10:00 every night. As they get older, we have tried to get them to bed at an earlier age. My 3 y.o. is in bed at 9:00 and my 5 yr old is in bed at 8:00 since he has kindergarten. As the younger two get older we will gradually start putting them to bed earlier too. They also sleep straight thru every night.

My daughter is 18 months old and has always been a great sleeper until my husband and I were divorced. We did start putting her to bed a little later, usually between 8 and 830. She ususally gets up around 7-8am. Have you tried keeping him up a little longer??? Good Luck!

I would have him examined to make sure nothing is wrong. If he is fine, I highly recommend Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." She is a parent educator who lives in Eagan and has written several wonderful books about children and parenting. She also has a website that I believe is called ParentChildHelp.com. She was very helpful to me with my boys' sleep problems. Good luck--I've been there and it isn't easy.

I agree with bumping mack bedtime. My baby used to go to bed at 7, but he's been terrible at sleeping through the night so we changed it to 8. Now, in the last week and a half he has slept through the night 6 times! For him, that's a feat.
We also feed him right before bedtime so we knew he wasn't hungry. Before, he would wake up around 4 and want to eat. Annoying!
You didn't mention what his nap schedule was like. If he's still taking 2+ naps per day, it may be time to cut one out.
Another thing that really helped was to get rid of the bottle. You may want to wean your son from his Nuk. We noticed with our oldest that it became much harder to get him to sleep when he had some kind of crutch: a certain number of stuffed animals, a particular CD playing, etc. When it got to the point he couldn't possibly put himself to sleep without those things, we did away with them and he started being able to go to sleep just about anywhere, all by himself. When we got rid of the baby's bottle, he started sleeping much better once he figured out there was no point in waking up because he wasn't going to get what he wanted.
Good luck! Sleep is precious. I hope you get more of it soon.

Have you tried putting him to bed a little later. We have had to do that with out daughter and she sleeps through the night. My daughter liked to rock to sleep and we read a book as a bedtime routine. She would fall asleep fast. Good luck!!

Well lets see, I am alittle rusty at this my youngerst is seven. But I will give the advice that worked for me. Yes it is true a later bedtime would work, also wear him out. I mean play with him get him tired about 4 hours before bed and then give him his dinner. Make sure you run hima soothing bath and while you bath him you can make up a story and tell it to him while you bathe him. Let him play alittle in the water give him gental back stroke and rubing his hairs gently. Take you your time putting on his clothes even lotioning him down it calms them. If you still have any time for this continue to read to him and put him in head bed. Now it will take some time because his sleep patter is so off but give it time. Also do a little praying ask the lord to bless his sleep and your for that matter. You are no good in the morning if you have no sleep. Trust me I know I have five and the were back to back when they were yonger so I am getting all my sleep now. Also have your husband trade off night with you if he can that way you can download your day and relax alittle. I hope this helps. God Bless

Try to put him to sleep later. He is going to bed to early. Also, don't let him take to early a nap or to late of a nap. This might help.

Try avoiding food expectly milk, this may be causing A reaction
or reflex,ulcer,or some medical thing.
Is the room to light, or dARK?
Try relaxtion music and baby soap bathes also.
Also have him checked by a doctor for a medical cause.
D.

J.,
Your story sounds exactly like mine last year. My little boy is now two and the greatest sleeper ever. He goes to bed at 8:45pm and gets up at 8:30am, if you can believe it! The road to this fabulous sleeping schedule was not easy and it took about 3 months. And if you tried it, you would definitely want to move your other son into another room.

Here's what we did. I made sure to expend his energy during the day with lots of activities, running around, and hearty meals. When I put him down for his nap, I made sure he didn't sleep too long (it took some trial and error). Then when we put him down at night we would do the same exact routine: read a couple of books, brush his teeth, get him a drink, sing him a song together, say prayers and had him say goodnight to pictures of family members on the wall (so he knew everyone was going night-night). We would lay him down and sure enough 2-3 hours later he was up crying. He would also throw his blanket on the ground to get us to come in and get it for him. For the first month I would pick up his blanket and pat him on the back, tell him mommy loved him and then lay him back down. For the next two months, he stopped dropping his blanket and we promised ourselves we wouldn't go in there, we would just let him cry...for 2 very loooong months. But it worked!! He sleeps so well now and I'm the envy of all my friends. Hope this helps a little! Goodluck!

Try moving his bed time back to about 8pm or 8:30 to make him good and tired before going to bed. This might help so that he sleeps longer in the morning with fewer awakenings at night. Our son also had this problem and he continued to wake up once or twice a night until he was around 2 or 2-1/2 when he figured out his own sleeping patterns. We would go in, touch his back and tell him it was okay to go back to sleep; he seemed to need the reassurance. Eventually, it tapered off until he no longer had the security issue.

Keep a consistent routine. That's the best advice I got. Lots of people told me to let them cry - but I never could do that. Mine are FINALLY doing good at night (except the 3 yr old crawls into my bed still sometimes) - they're 3 and 5. I know that sounds like a LONG time - when you're so exhausted, but if you keep a consistent routine and stick to it - eventually, the routine will actually become routine! For example - nearly every evening our schedule works like this: Supper, dishes, baths, reading or some other quiet activity (TV is not a good one, the flashing lights actually make it harder for them to go to sleep), tuck in and prayer time (each one gets one on one time to talk about their day), soothing music and some back/feet rubs. I always leave the room and tell them I'll check on them - which I always do. Hope that helps.

Heck i would keep him up til 9:00 once alseep put some books,or something of insterest to him so when he wakes and you don't go running in from his cry he will have something to keep him busy and fall back asleep,i would also not go in to give him his nuk and blanet,sounds like he maybe throwing them out,i bet u be surprised,if u don't go in and give it back to him that they will no long be found outside the crib,it will be a week of hell til he is use to the new routine but can save you years of peacful sleep for whole family.

Just wondering, have you tried putting him to sleep later, maybe 9pm. My 4 month old gets put down after his last feeding each night around 10:30pm. He sleeps through the night until 7am, when we wake him. We keep him active from the time we get him home after work, until 9pm, when we dim all the lights in the house. Then we give him a bath, get him in his pjs, and read a book before his last feeding. It seems to work for us. Even an hour later might help. I know they need a lot of sleep, and putting him to bed that late may be a bit much, but he gets two good hour long (at least), naps at daycare. Let me know if a later bedtime helps.

J.,
I'm a grandmother - my personal advice, having had a child who could never sleep well at night and having taken her to Dr. apt. and Dr. apt. and being told she was physically fine - and then goint to an ENT and finding out she had a double ear infection - I would take your little one to an ENT immediately Also - consider a sleep test - she might have sleep apnea and how would you know unless she is tested? I'd go to the ENT first and explain all this lack of sleep stuff.
And pray! Pray for God's guidance in getting to the right answers and the right physicians. God's Peace to you. J.

I have had some trouble with my girls sleeping around that age too. With my oldest I think she was taking too long naps during the day so she just wasn't needing as much sleep at night. So, I wstarted waking her from her nap after about 1 1/2 hours and putting her to bed a lettle bit later. I put her down for the night 15minutes later a few nights and just slowly worked mu way to the time I wanted her to go to sleep. They go to bed now about 8pm. I don't know if this will help you. Sleep is such a hard thing. Especially if you're not getting any;) My two girls (4 and 20 months) also shard a room and usually wake between 7 and 7:30- however.. today it was 6???? Who knows why? Good luck. Maybe we could take turns taking care of each others kids so we can nap :)

Hi J. A,

My son had done the same type of thing. He was never really been a good sleeper. Even when he was an infant, he didn't require as much sleep as recommended. Instead of sleeping for 16-20/day, he would sleep more like 12-16/day. My husband and I eventually go used to it.

In your case, maybe your son's bed time is too early. If he goes down at seven, his body may be telling him at one in the morning it is time to wake up. We had moved our son's bed time back by 2 or 3 hours, keeping him entertained and wearing him out. I don't know if this would work for you, just a suggestion.

Good Luck,

M. D.

Hello! I am a 28 year old mother of 2 active boys. I urge you to look at possibly adjusting nap times or putting him to bed a smidge later. I have a four year old and a 10 month old. Neither have ever been great sleepers! I put the 10 month old to bed at 10 pm and he is up by 6/6:30 am every day, but he becomes restless at 5am. I soothe him with a bottle, pacifiers never worked on him. He takes 2 naps during the day, mid morning and mid afternoon, both about 1 1/2 hours. My oldest goes to bed at 10:30pm and is always up by 7:30 am with a 2 hour nap.

When I tell my mom friends about my boys' bed times they all freak out, but that is the way my kids are, they just don't require the normal amount of sleep. I run on abut 6 hours of sleep myself and am good to go, so maybe that came from me, but they don't seem overly tired.

My boys also share a room, that is why there is a difference in the bedtimes. My oldest and I do story time and prayers on the couch before we go into the bedroom for sleep so we don't bother the baby until he is in a deeper sleep. I also avoid going in during the night, and after about 2 rough weeks, we have done much better with falling back to sleep. We play hard during the late evening, and load up on food about 1 hour before bed and that seemed to help him sleep longer. Not sure if this info will help you or not, but you aren't alone in bedtime battles! Good luck! We are all pulling for you!

This is the first posting I have read. However, this advice is coming from a mother of twins who are now 10. Have you had your son's tonsils and adnoids checked? My boys were very healthy -- but they were very restless sleepers and they snored a lot. I had asked our doctor about their tonsils because they were so big, but she kept reassuring me that they are always largest when the child is small. I finally took them to an ENT, he took one look and said one son's tonsils had to come out. (His brother's were identical). So finally at the age of 7, we had a twin tonsil/adnoidectomy. What a difference it made in their sleeping! One even commented that he did not wake up nearly as often as he used to. Worth a shot anyway....

Dear J., Does he take naps during the day as well as having a 7:00 bed time? I am a 47 year old mom of 11 great kids(ages 30 to 13) and grandmother of 25 wounderfully energetic grandchildren(ages 14yrs. to 4 months). The reason I ask is because my son and daughter in law put my 9&1/2 month old grandson down for naps at least 3 times every day and then put him to bed @ 7:30pm. They can't figure out why he wants to play all night.
When we have him for a day or two, we let him stay up and play until he decides to fall asleep(for a nap). Then we only let him nap for 1/2 hour to 45 minuets. Then when it is "bed time" he usually sleeps throughout the night! Maybe trying this tecnique will work for your little one too! Needless to say, when our grandson is ill, he still wakes up several times during the night. But that is only expected.
good luck...I hope you all get some restful sleep soon!

Some kids just don't need that much sleep. I would try putting him to bed at 8pm instead. My son at that age would have never gone to bed at 7pm (or if he did he would have been up at 5am, too). Have you tried the Ferber method or crying it out in the middle of the night? He's certainly old enough to handle it. Once he gets the new rules I bet it will improve. Another thought is that he may not be getting enough exercise due to the weather and may not be as tired. Also, a 6:30 am waking time sounds fairly normal.

I also have an 18 month old. I have been working very hard the last several months to get him to sleep through the night. I found one particular book very helpful with advice and reasons for sleeping issues. It's called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber, MD. My 18 month old sleeps much better now than he did just a few months ago, when I was at my wit's end. My best wishes to you!

try reading the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley...
having also been "blessed" with a non-sleeper...it was the best advice i have found. i didn't feel like it was all my fault and now my daughter is a good sleeper!

Does bedtime have to be 7:00? Maybe bumping it back a little will help him be "more tired" for good sleep.

J.
does your child take a afternoon nap? if so maybe you should try not to give him one for a few days and let him stay up until 8:00 p.m. does he have a night light in his room? if yes try taking it out of the room so he can't see to play.try giving him warm milk before bed. if he has never been a good sleeper chances are he never will, not all kids need 11 and a half hours of sleep and that is what you are trying to make him do.

Hi J.--Wow, how exhausting for all of you! My daughter had major sleeping issues, as well. What we discovered by accident is that she was having a reaction to milk. Unknowingly, when she would wake up screaming, we of course would settle her down and offer her some more milk. Duh, we just didn't realize we were aggravating the issue! Now that we have completely removed cow's milk from her diet (cheese, milk, ice cream, etc). she takes wonderful naps and sleeps great at night. The change was immediate--meaning the very first nap without milk she slept 2 hrs--when before 20 min. was the maximum until the screaming would start.

I don't know if this will be your answer, but you can give it a shot. We replaced her milk with fortified goat's milk. There are other options, too like soy, etc. Blessings to you guys!

Couple of ideas; Toddlers tend to transition to 1 nap/day around 12 - 18 mths. So if your still doing 2 naps then get rid of the morning nap and only do 1 early afternoon nap. Also he could be waking up looking for his pacifier and unable to find it. Then by needing to search he wakes himself further. Sounds like it may be time to get rid of the pacifier. We cut small holes in the ends of our DS's and told him they "broke" b/c he sucked a hole in them. He had a couple of rough nights, but overall he sleeps better w/o. I would try changing nap and eliminating sleeps aids (pacifier, music etc) before pushing back his bedtime. All the toddler sleep experts will tell you that toddlers should be going to bed between 7 and 8.

Hi, I understand exactly what your going through!! My daughter is 14 months, and just started sleeping consistently through the night. We still have some nights where we are up, but at least we are getting more sleep now. We may have one rough night a week, but better than getting up 2-4 times a night. My daughter too is used to having her special blanket and pacifier. And when she throws them out of the crib or loses them she gets very upset. My husband and I finally got fed up with the lack of sleep we were getting, and after trying several strategies read in different books, tried out the cry it out method. If my daughter got upset, I would give her a few minutes to see if she could calm down and figure it out on her own.. if not I would go in and console her, lay her back down, and give her the blanket and pacifier, then leave. If she kept crying I would let her cry about 15-20 mins, go back in and do the same. Then anther 15-20 mins. It was hard hearing her cry, but after a few weeks, she realized that I wasn't going to come in and stay with her everytime she woke during the night. It got to the point where she would wake, fuss for a min or two and put her self back down!! Just try not to rush in at the first initial cry, which is what I always wanted to do. I also think sometimes a snack and drink before bed helps to keep a full belly, and I would also try putting your son down later. I put my daughter down at 830pm, and most days she is up around 730am. And I do believe a consistent night routine helps. Hope this helps.

Hi, i am a mother of three. 18-14-7 This may sound to simple, but i always gave my kids a warm bath before bed which helped keep them relaxed. If he is a early riser try putting him to bed maybe a half hour later. I don't know to much what you have tried,but maybe this can help. Good Luck, I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

You need to just let him cry. When our oldest was little, he wouldn't sleep. Our doctor said to just let him cry. He was still not sleeping when he was five and was starting Kindergarten. It's hard, but if you stop it now, you won't have problems later on. Don't let him take as many naps during the day. No naps from 4pm till bedtime.
C.

J.,

I have read many of the responses below. Of course you have about hundred different suggestions. However, I wonder how your little one naps? Does he go to sleep well? Can he put himself to sleep without much intervention from you?

I ask b/c our 14 month old has done exactly the same thing since he was about 6 months old. He used to wake up multiple times screaming and would do so forever if we let him. We tried many of the sleep book/expert suggestions and they didn't work. Our guy has never been a good napper either (30 minute catnaps maybe twice a day). He was exhausted but you can't force a baby to sleep. We finally took him to a pediatric sleep specialist to ensure nothing was wrong. Nothing was and it was determined that he can do on less sleep than most BUT the following was suggested which is the opposite of 90% of the responses you received.

Normally despite functioning on less sleep, little ones are still sleep deprived especially if they are active. Our doc's suggestion was to put him to sleep an hour EARLIER not later. When babies/toddlers are over tired they can't fall or stay asleep as well. Going to bed later makes the situation worse in the long term. If your little one goes to sleep without fanfare, try an earlier bedtime which ensures an extra hour of sleep no matter the wakeup time. Eventually the more sleep he gets the more he will sleep longer periods of time without waking, does that make sense? IT does depend on many factors including temperment, consistency of bedtime and age but we are doing better and our guy is sleeping longer intervals than before. He will always probably be an early bird so we have to set our expectations as such as we cannot expect him to sleep on our schedule at his age.

Good luck!

My daughter used to be exactly like this as well. We finally decided to switch her to a toddler bed (although not because of the waking up), and miraculously she sleeps through the night now. I think it was a pyschological thing with her. Maybe it would help with your little one...