T.D. asks from Randolph, MA on July 28, 2009
15 Month Old Fighting High Chair and Throwing Food
My son has always been easy and a good eater too but now it is an absolute struggle to get him in the high chair at all. He clings to me and refuses to go in it. I sometimes hold him instead or have a picnic on the floor but then he gets away and doesn't eat much. I'm wondering if this is a phase you just deal with or if there is a good way to handle it. I know kids his age are always throwing food on the floor too but I tell him no and then he smiles at me and throws some more. Any suggestions for how to handle this phase are appreciated. Thanks!
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R.K. answers from Springfield on July 29, 2009
When my son throws food (he does it very rarely now) I simply say "all done" I wrap it up and put it in the fridge and I give it to him later. I would say don't fight the high chair my son likes to be at the table in a regular chair so we got him a booster seat while my oldest sat in it until almost 3.
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L.Z. answers from Boston on July 29, 2009
It could definitely be a phase, my two year old went through this and still has days where she actually wants the high chair and days when she refuses. I like to get her in it if possible because she eats better when she can't get up out of the chair! You might try a booster seat on the kitchen chair - maybe your son just wants to be at the table. We do this sometimes as well, because you can strap the child in and they can't get up, but they are not in a high chair, confined and higher up off the ground. The food throwing thing totally stinks and is very annoying, I hear you there. It WILL pass... I always told my kids firmly, "No throwing food" and gave them two or three chances, then I would take them out and say, "I guess you are done!" if they kept throwing. If they were not done, they would get upset to be taken out, so when I put them back in, they would actually resume eating. It takes consistency and a lot of determination on your part but it can be done! Good luck and hang in there!
K.B. answers from Boston on July 29, 2009
I agree with most of the answers you've gotten so far. My son is almost 17mo and he started really fighting the high chair a few months ago. We tried a little table and chair, but he wouldn't sit still for a meal - we use it now for snacks and coloring. We use a fold-up travel booster seat that straps into a chair at our table (it's Eddie Bauer, we got it at BJ's for less than $20) and that seems to work pretty well. Jake is still secure, but not as confined. I will warn you to keep an eye on him while he's in it, though, Jake has a tendency to push back from the table and rock back in the chair! We actually started the transition because our house is on the market and we didn't want the high chair out all the time, we can fold the booster up and put it away in the pantry when he's not using it. I think it's the natural pregression, though, he just doesn't like being confined anymore. Jake does still throw food - let me know if anyone knows how to get that to stop! :)
L.S. answers from Hartford on July 29, 2009
I have to agree with the other posters. You just need to be firm and consistent. I have a three year old and a two year old. Both have gone through the "no eating" phase and the throwing food phase. From the time they were infants if they threw anything on the floor it was gone. If they refuse to get into their chair to eat then they don't eat. It could be that your son is trying to exert some control over his environment.. with refusing to get into his chair. So give him a choice. Chair=food. No chair=no food. It will not hurt him to go hungry for a day or so.
You could also try this with other aspects of his life. Give him choices.. give him control over at least a little part of his life.
J.V. answers from Burlington on July 29, 2009
Hi - I too would give the booster seat a try and let him sit at the table. Just give it a shot and see if it helps. My youngest started with this just after she turned a year, refused the high chair and would only eat on my lap. We found she is doing so much better sitting at the table, I think she feels more included and a part of the family. She's at the same level as we are (and gets to sit next to her big brother which is a huge motivator). Also, this might help possibly, have you offered silverwear? My daughter LOVES using a fork & spoon (she's nearly 16 mos now), way more than my son ever did. Granted, she often gets to a point where she doesn't want to use them during a meal anymore and I can just take them away, but they help her to focus & concentrate on eating for a bit, and then she feels like a 'big girl' when we tell her how great she did. Good luck!
C.M. answers from Boston on August 01, 2009
Try a kid sized table and chair. Maybe he doesn't like being confined. Or designate a place just for eating like at the kitchen table.
Throwing food - I think it's fun for them. Try giving him less and only give more if he eats it. That may cut down on your clean up time.
R.D. answers from Boston on July 29, 2009
I have a 15 month old as well and she isn't quite as bad about getting into the highchair but definitely similar with throwing some food on the floor. I'll tell her "no throwing food on the floor" and then she smile and try to do it again. I gave her her first "time out" yesterday for the first time. I turned the high chair around so she couldn't see me for a little bit. Unfortunately she she didn't seem to mind all that much. I've been showing her to put the food she doesn't want into the cup holder part of the tray and that seems to help. If she keeps it up I take the tray away (is that giving her what she wants since is apparently done anyway??) I think at this age it is just a matter of being firm and consistent and we'll make it through. I'd keep him in the highchair for mealtimes for consistency sake.
My son went through the same phase as well-I don't remember it lasting to long.
Good Luck :)
D.B. answers from Boston on July 29, 2009
Choose your battles. My friend says "You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to." So decide if you can be flexible about the chair, but then be extremely firm about the throwing. If he's not hungry, he can tell you with words or some sign/signal. The food gets put away, not thrown. He will not starve at this age. Offer a variety of foods from which he can choose - if he refuses something on his plate, fine, but he can't throw it. Take it away and excuse him from the chair or table. In 20 minutes when he tells you he's hungry, he goes back to the table and the same food is put out. Try not to react or buy into his tantrum - and I know that's so hard when you just want to blow up! He should not get attention, even negative attention, when he behaves badly.
It's normal for kids to assert their independence especially in areas where they have complete control! That includes eating, sleeping and eventually toilet training. You can't force any of these activities. However, you CAN control your own reaction and your own rules.
Good luck!
C.M. answers from Boston on July 29, 2009
Sounds like he may not like the highchair. My daughter did the same. we bought a booster seat for the kitchen table. Then she felt like a big girl. They tied to the chair & she was buckled in also. Good luck
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