I have a 13 year old son who recently has been missing the school bus alot. He missed 5 days at beginning of school because he missed the bus. I get physically sick every morning wondering if he's going to make it. My husband is there with him on Monday and Wed. morning and he has no trouble making bus. But on the rest of the days we have to be at work earlier. Now he is 13 and I don't think I should have to worry about this as it's never been a problem before. He says there isn't anything going on at school. He's not a problem kid and the teachers all say what a well mannered kid he is. So I have decided to put him in their before school program and take his allowance to pay for it. What do you think?
Thanks Stephanie. Acutally I'm doing just what you have suggested. I have been calling him many times and today I had a meeting and told him I couldn't call him and he was up and dressed before I left as he is every morning. I set two alarms one to finish getting ready and put little dog in cage the other to say leave 4 bus now. I'm still not sure it's deliberate but will update you guys on him.
You might ask him about any problems on the bus. My 13 year old prefers to ride his bike or walk the 2 miles to school rather than put up with the kids on the bus.
Since you have the opportunity to use the before school program, sounds like a great solution.
Hi A.:
I think your idea is a good one. Maybe you could do it for about a month and then tell him you can try to let him get on the bus himself again, but if he starts missing it that he'll go back to the morning program.
well it really depends on what the problem is.is he just not getting up on time? or is it deliberate? if it's just not getting up on time you may just need to make a few changes.make him go to bed earlier and get him his own alarm clock.when i was about that age i had to get up on my own too.and as long as i got up on time i didn'
t really have a bedtime.maybe offer some kind of incentive like that.as for using his allowance i guess it depends on what he gets an allowance for.if it's for doing chores then it may be unfair to take it from him.if it's just a little spending money for nothing then it shouldn't be a problem.or maybe even tack on some extra chores to let him keep some alowance.
if it seems as though it's deliberate thing,check out to see if it's a problem on the bus itself not so much at school.and maybe check into a carpool for him instead.one taht can maybe call before they get there to make sure he's up and ready.
Dear A., '
I think your idea of before care is very smart because teenagers do not think in a straight line and I have read articles saying that they need more supervision, not less supervision. This society also gives them too many temptations such as TV, internet, etc.
The only part I was not sure about is taking his allowance to pay for the before care. If he is a good kid and gets good marks at school, maybe he would feel the allowance is drastic? I do not know.
I have a teenager myself, a girl, and overall she is good but it is scary what they can get into.
D.
A., sounds like you did the absolute right thing to me. This will teach him that he has consequences for his actions. Maybe after some time, tell him he can try again and as soon as he misses the bus, he starts paying for before school care again. Gosh, it is not often that parents make their kids accountable anymore for their actions, I am so glad to hear you doing this. We have to teach our children how to be responsible adults one day, and so many people miss the big picture that it is the little things like this that teach them how, even at 13. Good Job!
Does he stay up late? If so bedtime needs to be 9pm. Get a lot of alarm clock in things wouldn't even think is a clock, set them all 2 minutes apart to go off starting an hour and a half before it's time for him to get up. He'll get tired of hearing that noise get up and get out the house. If that doesn't work, I'm sorry but you are gonna have to change your work hours either your husband or you, and walk/drive him to the bus for a month or two and he'll get tired of it and do it himself. You mustn't let him fall through the cracks. Attendance plays a big roll in school these days, it tells whether or not you care, are responsible, and have goals or ambitions really. He might be looking for attention. For some reason he wants to be isolated or alone at home...find out why, put in a camera or pop up one day!
Hope I helped, my cousins and nephew use to do the same things when I was growing up, I think I was the only grandchild in my grandparents house that liked going to school and wanted to be there before it opened.
Hoped I helped, take care.
A. m kids at that age are diffrent then what we as mothers knew prior my son at that age did the same thing i found the reason was not cause of other kids it was because they become more relaxed and dont want to rush also they have a problem with riding a crowded bus to school and i do know at this time the buses in florida are over crowded {lack of bus drivers} talk to your son ask questions see what kind of responce he gives. i know at 13 my son never had to much to say he di become very quit from then up now almost 18 graduating from school next year he still rather ride in a car then take the bus cause to many kids on the bus and he does not want to sit in a seat with2 other kids.
I wonder if some type of reward system might actually work rather than taking away his allowance. Kids are kids, and I remember missing the bus ALOT. Reward him for getting on the bus on time. I really had a hard time getting my son (9) to get up and get dressed. He would use any excuse not to have to go to school and sometimes he would cry. Now I pay him $1 a day to get up with out any drama and go to school. They might as well get used to it since they have to go for such a long period of time. But, It works. (for now)
