1 1/2 Yr. Old Hitting

Updated on June 05, 2007
B.P. asks from Riverview, FL
5 answers

I have a well behaved (the majority of the time) 1 1/2 year old. When he gets frustrated he hits things. When we are out in public that thing becomes me. The other day in the store he slapped me across the face, since we were out in a store I didn't know what to do. I stearnly told him no and tried to continue on shopping. However, he was determined to get what he wanted and started screaming and throwing himself backward in every effort to get out of my arms. I left the store and strapped my son into his car seat and waited for him to calm down (which took the entire car ride back home)and tried to explain that his behavior was unacceptable and why. The hitting mommy in public hasn't gotten any better, so all suggestions are welcome!!!!!

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J.W.

answers from Tallahassee on

My daughter went through that. At his age he can't express his anger in words, so hitting is the next best thing. Keep on him about how hitting is unacceptable behavior. He is also testing his boundries so don't give in to his demands to save face in public. What you did was right. Pick him up and leave the situation. Then when you get home put him in time out or take away a privilege or favorite toy so he learns there are consequences to his actions. Be patient. This too shall pass.

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A.T.

answers from Sarasota on

we have his problem with my boyfriends 3 year old and had this problem with my daughter whenshe ws younger my boyfriends 3 year doesnt talk well and that is an end result with my daughter the daycare she was in had started teaching them signs and each time they learned a new sign the teacher would show me when i picked her up and this helpped the problem my boyfriends 3 year we have working with him on his speech and the better he gets with talking the less it happens but i think rt now you are doing the right thing my brother and sister in law have always given in to this behavior and as a result my now 7 year old nephew has to take meds to control is anger just to go to school yet when he is with me or my parents he doesnt need these meds because we have never responded to this behavior and when he displys this behavior in our care we send him to time out and after his time out we talk about what the problem was and he is fine your doing a good job following your own insticts if this behavior conts. i would stop taking him out with you wait to do shopping until your husband can sit with him or everytime this happens next time leave him behind it will seem like an up hill battle and personally i think it is but its well worth it when you reach the top good luck

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A.C.

answers from Tampa on

Hi B.,

My one and amost a half year old daughter is also usually very well behaved. She also just began exhibiting similar behavior. She is into the pinching/hair pulling thing. When she wants something and can't communicate it she gets frusterated. I've also noticed that she does this when she gets excited as well (which is usually just another form of communication frustration...I can't expect her to automatically know how to express herself...verbally or emotionally this is mostly learned). I can tell you that when she does this I say no and correct her showing her how to have fun, play, etc. nicely. I f she continues I leave her to sit away from me (and my hair!) until she calms down and is ready to play nicely again. I know it's frustrating, but from what I hear it's normal and one of the many "fun" phases we have to look forward to!

Another quick thought: if he is in daycare like my daughter, he may be picking up things like this from watching other children. They all have their own little ways about them and how they deal with expressing themselves....i.e. pinchin, hitting, pulling hair, etc.

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A.A.

answers from Tampa on

Hello B.. I have two sons, one who is almost 16 months. What your son is doing is normal,but as we know it can be handled and become a teaching moment. I think what you have already done is fine. However, if I may... I wanted to suggest a couple of things. First, not only do I have two children but I WAS an early childhood teacher. What your son is displaying is common among some babies as well as children who have difficulty talking. Because he can not clearly communicate what he wants, he acts out in frustration. In his mind what ever it is that he wants, is very important to him. So, he is going to act out. What I suggest is to say in a calm but firm tone what you want him to do. You may say no hitting and say also "nice touching." Show him what nice touching looks like and feels like. The second thing you can try is to distract him with an object or activtiy. However, if he becomes very upset again, I think you taking him to the car was a good choice. You sound like you know what you are doing and I am sure your son will respect you for it. I HOPE THIS HELPS. For moms of older children, Joy Berry has AWESOME books you can check out from your local library. They are wonderful books about behavior. I am sure if your child likes to hear stories, he/she would enjoy her books. A.

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

Hitting has been a constant problem with my 2 year old son. We still aren't sure how to stop it. I am doing time outs, I have taken myself away from him and told him that I will not play with him if he hits, I have tried being firm and explaining why he cannot hit etc... So far, not much has worked. It is a emotional and immediate response out of frustration. I personally think we can just keep trying what we are trying and age, more than anything, will put an end to it. They are so young, they do not have the capability to realize what they are doing in the momement and have the maturity to stop. I'm sure you will get a lot of responses and I will read them to get other suggestions as well!

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