Need advise regarding my son going to kindergarden, he is a summer baby, he turns 5 in July. His pre-school teachers dont think he is ready, he is a very active 4 yo boy. We did get through pre-school/kindergarden screening and he passed, just need to work on large motor skills. I am really not sure what to do, he really is excited that he can ride a bus to school. I have talked to a few people and it is mixed feelings. If any one else has been through this, need a little help.
Karry C.
My son is turning 5 in June and we are planning to send him to kindergarten in the fall. He has had his kindergarten screening and passed it. He is also a very active little boy and it also concerns me on how well he will do. I figure that he can go to kindergarten and if things don't go well he can always repeat it. Kindergarten is just an introduction to how school will be and getting them ready for it. I think if he's really excited about it you should send him. Maybe you can go with him on a tour of the school during school hours and see what the classes are like and if he'll like it there. We took a tour with my son and he LOVED the school and the teachers. Good luck in your decision. There is no right answer.
I will have this issue in a few years as well since I have an August baby. I'm already debating about what we will do! It's such a tough call!
I have a friend with a July boy who will also be five this summer. He is in 4K this year and seems to be doing well. She has been debating about having him repeat 4K or sending him on to kindergarten. She doesn't feel that they do much academic work in 4K - it's more just structured playtime, so she's pretty much decided that she'll send him on to 5K. If he needs to repeat that before going on to first grade, she figures at least he'll be repeating a year where he'll get some academic instruction rather than just playtime.
On the other side of things, I have a brother who was born in July. He didn't go to any 4K or preschool, and my mom waited until he was six to start kindergarten. He really excelled in school and is still doing very well.
I've heard that since boys mature less quickly than girls, they are more likely to start a year later in this situation. However, you know your son best, and you're really the only one who can make the final determination as to whether he's ready or not. Good luck!!
We have a mid-July boy and decided to wait. Best decision we ever made. His teachers thought he wasn't ready. He was smart enough, but just had some social skills that needed fine tuning. Like always wanting to be first and a few other things of that nature. The best advice we were given was to look and see are we allowing him to be the best that he can be? The gift of time is the best gift we could give him and if one more year in preschool will allow him to suceed better in School then give it to him.
We were still hesitant and he had a sad beginning of the next year when his friends went to K and he didn't, but there were other boys in his class that waited a year and so it was alot easier.
This year in K he is doing exceptional!! He listens well, is the best behaved boy in his class, overall very ready to learn. He has some boys in his class that are very young (they would be the summer birthdays that didn't wait) and there are so many issues with them not sitting still or being mature enough to follow instructions. Personally I wouldn't do it any other way.
Other things that helped our decision process was that they will not hold kids back from K except in extreme cases, it is far harder for them emotionally to be held back in K then in Pre-K. Another thing was that the director of our preschool did not hold back her son, he struggled through school the whole time and hated it. When he got to college he was so not ready for it he failed. We decided we would rather pay for another year of preschool then another year of college :) One last thing was that boys mature about 6 months behind girls.
Good luck, it's a tough decision.
As a mom to 2 July babies, I sympathize with your dilemma. I don't know that there is a "wrong" answer to this. Everyone I have ever talked to that has faced this same situation felt that they made the right decision, so it seems that it will likely work out no matter what you decide. I sent one of my July babies and held one back and I think that it was the right decision for both of them. If you are really worried about it, you could consider doing K at a different place than he would otherwise go to, and if he needs to repeat K, then do it at the school in your district. He won't feel "held back" since it would be a new school and new friends. Lots of people do K somewhere different (we did for several of the kids since we wanted full day K and it wasn't offered where we lived at the time) than the one in their district. I will say one thing about Pre-K screening - my youngest "passed" the screening and he is now classified as developmentally disabled. They told us that he only had a speech impediment :) The people that are spending time with him - you, your husband, his pre-school teachers, etc., are really the ones with the most accurate information.
Good luck no matter what you decide!
You have gotten some great advice so far! I agree that there is no 'wrong' way to go about this... Do what you feel is best for your son.
My daughter is an August baby and we are going to try preschool in the fall, she will only be 3 so only two half days a week. Minus the potty training she seems ready for 'school.' We are sending her to a private preschool so our worry is if we pay and she ends up not ready, we talked with the school and we only need to pay for the time she goes there.
My brother did repeat a year and he seemed to 'fit' in better both maturity wise and knowlage wise, kindergarten is a good time to repeat. I would give kindergarten a try and see of it goes, he might do really well!! If nothing else he just repeats.
Best wishes in your decision, I am sure whatever you decide will be 'right' for your son!
Hi Karry,
This was a hard one for me. My son is an August baby and I really went back and forth with this. After numerous friends (who are teachers) encouraged me to hold him back a year, my husband and I finally decided to do just that. The reasoning I got from my friends is that boys tend to not have the socializing skills down yet.
Another way of justifying it to myself is if he would have had a Sept birthday he would have had to wait another year anyways.
He is now in Kindergarten and doing so WELL!!! I still have my reservations and the teachers are always reassuring me that we did the right thing!
Good Luck!
Erin
I was in a similar situation. My daughter birthday is 8/29 preschool teachers also said don't send her. Well I didn't listen and sent her. She has done fine academically, but emotionally and maturity level is just horrible. I just pulled her out of 2nd grade 3 weeks ago and put her back in 1st grade so she will be with kids her age and won't be the youngest. My daughter is a leader and it's hard to be the leader when your the youngest, shortest etc. Like I said she was keeping up academically she is reading at a 4th grade level but she just wasn't on the same page as the other kids. By the time she got to 2nd grade was when it was really apparent this was a problem, she lost alot of friends things like that. Just a FYI public schools won't let you hold your kids back like I did, they will just keep pushing them to the next grade and making them miserable. I had to put her in a private school to get her back to 1st grade where she absolutely happy and fitting in with the kids better.
I am going through the same thing right now with my daughter. Her teacher is saying send her, but I just dont know if she is ready.
I was always the youngest kid in my class and it was tough. I was a B/C student, but think if I had waited another year, I easily could have been an A student.
A friend of mine, who has a July child, is holding him back because she asked a lot of people about it. The ones who did hold their child back, were greatful they did. The ones who did not, regretted every second of it.
I say, go with your gut. If you are questioning yourself, hold him back. My only problem with holding my daughter back is I do not want her to be labeled the "child who was held back". I think it is so common these days though that it hopefully wont be an issue.
Another friend of mine had the suggeston of putting them in Kindergarten in another school district. If they seem to excel, next year you can put him in your school district in 1st grade, if not move him to kindergarten in your district.
If I had a boy with a summer birthday I would be real tempted to hold kindergarten off a year. If his preschool teachers were telling me he was not ready, there would be no question.
My parents held my brother back a year when it came to starting kindergarten. It was the best thing they could have done. He just was not ready to sit still and listen. The year did make a huge difference in his ability to adjust to the need to sit quietly for hours at a time.
As a parent who sent their summer birth child to school at an early age I would advise against it especially since his preschool teacher thinks he is not ready. I did send mine against advise and think he would have been more prepared had I waited another year. He is now 15 and is still frustrated with school because he can't keep up. Mentally he excels at the school work but another year would have certainly been socially more ready had I waited another year. So I would listen to your preschool teacher and hold him back it will certainly benefit him in the long run.
I sent my oldest son (May birthday) to kindergarten when he turned 5. I sent my youngest daughter (July birthday) to kindergarten when she turned 5, despite the fact that she had only been in the country 4 months and was still learning English and the pre-school teachers didn't think she was ready (she was).
I was sent to kindergarten as a 4 year old (Sept birthday), and my sister (August birthday) the next year as a 5 year old.
I'm not sure what the concern is about sending a 5 year old to kindergarten. It sounds like he's ready and willing, and a love of learning/excitement over school is a bad thing to stifle, particularly in a boy.
My oldest daughter was held back one year (her English didn't pick up as quickly as her sister's, and she hadn't had any school in Russia). So she was a year older than her peers, and turned 18 her junior year in high school.
Seriously consider the problems of trying to manage an 18 year old senior in high school. It's not just about "now", it's about the future, and trying to control a teenager who is sure they are an adult and can make their own decisions now can lead to unpleasant consequences.
Karry - Hi there! I'm a licensed daycare provider and my best friend teaches 2nd grade - she taught Kindergarden for 5 years. In my expereince and hers, it would be in your sons best interest to wait another year. Boys especially who have summer birthdays seem to struggle if they go into kindergarden as a young 5 year old. Boys mature more slowly than girls so they are a bit behind in readiness anyway. You want your son to be successful and to enjoy Kindergarden to get a good foundation for the rest of his school years. If it was me, I'd listen to the teachers and wait for one more year. Then he's going to be ahead of the game when he goes to Kindergarden because he'll have just turned six and will have had another year of preschool to learn and to mature, preparing him well. Good luck! Hope that helps! Kat
I know I am repeating what a lot of other moms have said, but I wanted to let you know my experience. My son's bday is in August and we were in the same situation as you. Our pre-K teacher said he was mentally ready for school, but socially could use another year. Immediately we decided to hold him back, because the teacher sees a child and can compare them with other children his age and can gauge things easier than a parent might be able to. It was ABSOLUTELY the best thing we could have done. Our teacher told us she would rather see an older student excelling than a younger one struggling.
I'm a grandmother now, but let you tell me two stories---I had 2 August babies and one February baby. As I was stressing over this question with my first chid, a dear friend with a PhD in education observed that the research (this is now OLD research) suggested that the children who experienced the most problems socially, academically and emotionally were those that were 6 months or more younger than the average age of their class. Thus, what the pattern of classmates is now matters most. My father also reminded me that dating, driving and going off to college would be experienced with more maturity. Kindergarten is only the beginning.
That being said, everyone can't hold their kids. It's a tough decision!
I ended up holding both my August babies. (And both were so ready academically at age 5). I never regretted the choice---though who knows what would have happened alternatively? (I can certainly list their peers who had tough teen years and interestingly that small sample of kids were all young). The toughtest of my kids was my February guy who had no choice but to go at 5!
Good luck. Do your research then trust your gut!
PS....In order to cushion the disappointment of not going to "school", I found alternate preschool opportunities for both kids that made the year seem like real (prep) school!
Hi there, I come from a family of psychologists and child psychologists and teachers......hold him until he's 6....especially if his teachers are suggesting to do so.....and because he's a boy...who generally mature a little slower than girls. No one ever regrets holding their kid back....but I know lots of parents who are struggling with kids that are the youngest in the class. My daughter is an early August birthday and is now in 2nd grade. Her grades are great, she's confident and a definite leader. Studies show that younger kids may do ok in elementary school but when they reach 7th & 8th grade they can struggle with academics and especially socially. Give him the benefit of the extra time.....it will help in in all aspects as he grows up....even with sports. Barbara
As excited as your little boy is, I would highly recommend not sending him to kindergarten quite yet. If his pre-school teachers don't think he is ready, I would not push it, even though it is what he wants. Also, trust me, from experience (different story, contact me if you want to know that one lol), as much as your little one says he wants to ride the bus, and is super excited about it, he could, and most likely will, change his mind when that bus pulls up to pick him up and carry him away from Mommy!! Good luck Mom, and I hope everything works out for you and your little guy!!
WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!! My kids all have summer birthdays and did not/will not start kindergarten until they're 6. Kids with summer birthdays are either going to be the oldest or youngest in their class...much better to have that extra "leg up". I have not ever regretted sending my kids when they were 6 as opposed to 5. I think it's especially important for boys because of their maturity level.
I am a Kindergarten teacher with 13 years of experience. From what I have seen over the years I would advise you to wait. Especially with a boy whom the preschool teacher says is not ready. You are not just making a decision for 1 year but rather a decision that will affect 13 years of his education. My own son was a Sept. birthday and I could have early entranced him but I chose to wait.
Over the years I have NEVER had a parent regret holding a child until they were six but I've had lots of parents who went at 5 say, "I wish I had given him the gift of one extra year".
P.S. The preschool screening is not a Kindergarten readiness screen...it is simply to catch kids in the system who need early childhood intervention.
Every parent and teacher I ever spoken to has advised to wait until another year. It will not directly affect them now it will hit him when he starts 7th grade.
It was said very simply to me once by a kindergarten teacher "you are giving you and him a gift of a year to mature and to excel and you will never regret it."
Good Luck -
Mother of three boys.