Definitely not. I had the exact same situation where the preschool teacher suggested we wait (my son has a summer bday also), and he passed the kindergarten screening with flying colors and he wanted to go so bad and all of his friends were going to be in kindergarten. So I sent him and it's been a major stuggle since. He's in 1st grade now and needs extra help all the time. I'm sure he'll eventually catch up with everyone, but I wish I had waited. Esp with him being your first son, one more year at home would be fun. Those preschool teachers really know what they're talking about. Hope this helps.
I have been told repeatedly that boys who have summer 5 yr birthdays are not ready for kindergarten. a 'magic' age that kindergarten teachers like for boys to start is about 5yrs, 7 months. Boys are not educationally or socially ready at a young 5. I would definately hold him back. I worked in a kindergarten room for 7 years and saw 1st hand what boys behaved like when they werent ready! I went thru the same thing with my son. he passed the exam at 3 and a half...he turned 5 in january and will go to kndg in the fall.
if there is any doubt and since he will be a young 5 when school starts, i would wait a year. i've also heard boys aren't always ready as soon as girls. (i have a girl but my brother was a may baby and still didn't start k'garten til he was 6-1/2). they expect alot more out of k'gartners these days,also. what we learned that year, the kids now have to know to be able to get in. maturity and social skills are even more important. if you do wait, put him in preschool next year so they can keep him going in the progress they started. there is no stigma with waiting and you need to do best for him. this is the beginning of his whole future! see what his teachers recommend you work on with him over the summer.
sara m
Is he in Pre-school?? That is a great way to prepare. The gradual introduction to school is a great "in-between". Good luck.
My oldest son also has a July birthday. We were in the same boat as you as to whether we send him to school at 5 or wait one more year. We talked to his preschool teachers and a few teachers in the school system. They all told us to wait with boys who have summer birthdays. We were both torn and went back and forth right up until the kindergarten registration deadline. In the end we did wait. We will be enrolling him in kindergarten this fall after he turns 6. This past school year we enrolled in him a 4 day preschool program (meets only half days) and it was the best thing for him (Our kindergarten program is now everyday all day which is a big step for little kids too). He has excelled so much in this last year. He has also matured more. When we're driving, he will spell out road signs to me asking what they spell. He's very eager to start reading and learning more. It's huge advancements from last year at this time when he was 4 1/2. I also looked at it this way: If you start him in school at 5yrs old, all of the other kids will start turning 6 in Sept and he just turned 5 a few months before. That's could be up to a 10month age gap between him and his classmates. To me that's a huge age difference. We are so happy that we waited the extra year. Hope this helps you. It's a very tough decision and I completely understand what you're going through. Best of luck to you!!
If the preschool teachers do not think he is ready, I would listen to them, they have been around enough kids to know what to look for. My 12 year old son was in the same situation, and we waited, it was the best thing we ever did for him. Boys mature socially slower than girls, most of the time. If you put them in school before they are ready, they will usually end up hating school and then you will have 13 years of struggle because of it.
As the mom of 3 boys including a summer birthday, I've been there. I have yet to hear from 1 parent who regretted holding their summer birthday son back until the next year to start kindergarten. Different story with girls, but boys often seem to need that extra time - especially if teachers are seeing a reason to wait.
It is a hard decision to make. We have a daughter with an August birthday. We did send her, because she was "ready". She knew her ABC, etc. She is now in 11th grade. If I had it to do over.... I would have waited 1 year. She gets good grades in school, but she has struggled socially the entire time. She just wasn't as mature as the rest of the class. Now boys and girls are different on that matter, but as they get older things really make a difference. She was the last to drive, the last to get a job, etc. My older daughter's boyfriend has a Sept. birthday and started school anyway. He, himself, says that he always felt like he didn't fit in. He never had many friends. Again, he is very smart and has no issues with his classes, it is more social issues.
Good luck making your decision.
Hi Karry,
I do not have a boy with a summer birthday but know many moms who have also struggled with this decision. The advice that we've heard through preschool and ECFE is that you will never regret holding him but you may regret sending him. It's important to think long term through his schooling and remember that he will be very young throughout his whole school career if you send him. Every mom I know in this situation is deciding to wait. There are 4 day a week preschool programs out there for kids who will be five by fall and not in kindergarten.
Good luck making your decision!
-Becky
Karry,
I am a daycare provider and mother of 3 boys (12,3 and 17 mo). As someone who works with children I really think you should trust what his pre-school teachers are telling you. They get to see your son in a "school" environment and have lots of experience knowing if a child is ready to enter school. Also, my brother (now 26) has a July birthday and my mother started him in school just after he turned 5. Through-out his school years she always regretted that decission. He did ok but always struggled a little bit more than his class mates.
Good luck. Angela
My son also has a July b-day and at the time his preschool teacher did not believe he was ready socially to be in kindergarten. We decided to take her advice and enrolled him in another year of preschool. He had changed so much over the summer that she couldn't believe it. He is now in 4th grade and does very well in school. He is one of the older kids in his class but he grasps all of the concepts in his subjects much better. I feel that if we had put him in kindergarten a year earlier we might have had some issues. He doesn't get teased for being older either. Good luck with your decision.
I've been through it with a July birthday son. It is a difficult and individual decision, but I would put a lot of weight on the opinions of his preschool teachers. We decided to wait a year. Our son is now a very successful 12-year-old 6th grader and I think it was one of the best decisions we ever made as parents. In our school district you can register for kindergarten, but then withdraw them up until school starts. If you can do that in your school district that would give you more time to decide and see how he does this spring and summer. We had our son triple-enrolled--he was enrolled in kindergarten and two different preschools. We made our final decision in the middle of August and withdrew his kindergarten registration. To help us decide we met with preschool teachers, sent him to a summer school program for pre-K and met with his future principal. In terms of making your decision the emotional and self-help skills and ability to sit still and listen are more significant than academic readiness. Our son was more than ready academically, but lacked some of the other skills. If he doesn't go to kindergarten next year can you get him excited about a new or special preschool? For our son's final year of preschool we sent him to a new one that was just for kids preparing for kindergarten. It was perfect for him and really helped him work on those skills he needed. Good luck and feel free to send me a message if you have specific questions.
I just read through the other responses and wanted to add something--I've been through the kindergarten experience twice with my two boys and kindergarten is no longer just to "get ready" for school. Kindergarten has become very academically rigorous and kids are expected to be reading by the end of the year. They also do simple math worksheets and other academic activities. When I was in kindergarten 40 years ago we played, made homemade peanut butter, colored, had nap time, etc. That is NOT true anymore.
If there is ANY doubt, do him the favor, give him the BEST chance for success by allowing him to be one of the OLDEST in his class, not the youngest.
This is the easiest time of his life to give him this gift. It is technically possible to do later, but the longer you wait, the more factors that will enter in and the harder (read 'nearly impossible') it will be.
Putting him in situations for which he is not ready, risk 'burning him out' on school and creating reluctance to try and try again. If that happens, you set him up for all sorts of learning frustration which can lead to social frustrations as well. That boys mature at a later chronological age is not hearsay. It is research based fact.
Do him and yourselves a favor and let him be a child for at least another year.
Karry,
I haven't read all the advice but wanted to share some objective info on research about the age of kids entering school. Malcolm Gladwell, a well respected author of at least 3 books (and I think from Harvard) has a new book titled Outliers. He researched very successful people (Bill Gates for example) to find out why they were so much more successful than others. One thing he studied was the age at which kids started school and the kids that were older tended to do better. It's an interesting book!
Connie
I am a teacher at an education based childcare center. We take care of children aged 6 weeks through school age. Every year we get those same questions from a paretn who is unsure. This is what experience tells us: Boys tend to be slightly behind girls in emotional/social development. If his preschool teacher doesn't think he is ready, he probably is not. It is not just the academics that children have to deal with at school. Sure it is fun to ride the bus, but usually kids who a re younger in a class with children who could be almost a year older have a really tough time. It might not even come out in kindergarten, but will as time goes by. My oldest daughter is July 4th birthday and had I known then what I know now-I would have kept her behind. She was an honor student when she graduated-the academics were never a problem--socially she had a rough time.
Our daughter had turned 5 Aug 25th and with the Sept 1 cut off we held her back a year and put her in a all day pre-K program, we are so glad we did! She is now a 1st grader and doing great, she was always a little quiet and petite , she now reads at a almost 3rd grade level. Our son who turned 5 last July 16th is outgoing and social and seemed ready so we sent him, we wish now that we would have held him back as well. He is struggling with reading and is very slow to finish his work and has a hard time behaviorally at times...I say trust your instincts, you know your child the best and every child is different.
I have a boy that was born in July also. He is 14 yo now. They said he was ready for kindergarten so we sent him. We found out that even though he seemed ready academically and socially, he wasn't ready. He didn't want to learn, he wanted to just play. We and the teachers could not find anything that would motivate him to learn. Finally he woke up the first day of fifth grade and is doing great. He reads slower than others but comprehends more than most. He is alittle slower doing math problems but is more accurate than most. I don't regret sending him. I also have a 17 yo who has a Sept birthday and was made to wait. She was definitely ready if not over ready and after a while found things to be sooooo easy she started slacking. We also are dealing with her going to be 18 almost her whole senior year and are wondering how we are going to make sure she stays in school and graduates but still live with us and follow our house rules. I believe this is an important issue to consider. My daughter usually listens but seems to be getting the "soon to be 18" itch/mind set that "I can do anything I want". I feel it is actually better that a child be challenged alittle to succeed than to find things too easy and become lazy and careless. This is from our personal experiences. There is no right or wrong to this question. Your decision will be do you want to work harder with your child at a younger or older age.
You've already heard a ton of opinions (or, the same opinion tons of times.) I wanted to offer these reading suggestions if you're wanting to know some of the "why"
http://www.singlesexschools.org/links-books.htm
Boys Adrift addresses many of the issues facing boys and young men and explains some of the "failure to launch" syndrome.
Why Gender Matters really gets into structural differences in the brain and why boys and girls learn differently. It also spells out the reasons why it's best for boys to wait, and why it has become so common.
Hi-
THere has been alot of research that points to the fact that kids who start kindergarten later succeed in school - because they are older, they learn faster and are "better" students and this give them confidence and boosts their self esteem and so they go on to succeed. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. (The source I am thinking of is a NYT Magazine article).
At any rate, my son missed the cut-off and he will be a solid 5 (turns 6 in Oct) and I can tell that while he still loves to play at preschool, he is very excited to start kindergarten.
Good luck!
I think if there is even a doubt, I would keep him back. It is far easier to get past the school bus issue you face now than it will be to try to get him up to speed in the years to come or have to hold him back later in school. I have an August bday. My parents did not hold me back in Kindergarten and it caught up in 1st grade in reading and math. My teacher advised my parents at that point to hold me back a year so they did (even tho I passed the 1st grade). I'm glad they did b/c I didn't struggle with school after that, in fact I excelled in math tremendously! It would have been less of deal for me if they did it before I started school and made friends. Good luck!