Is a Mother’s Day Card Really a Performance Review?

Last year I had a great Mother’s Day. I wasn’t expecting much. Not to put down my family, but we have had a lot going on last Spring – my daughter was diagnosed with Type I diabetes, her first communion party had swelled from 10 to 60 people, and a home renovation project maybe – just maybe – was coming to an end. We were busy and overwhelmed as a family so I could understand Mother’s Day taking a back seat. However, maybe that’s why the family came through for me with thoughtfulness.

My husband and kids each gave me cards that they made and I could tell by the way I was crying that they actually spent some time thinking about me and how they love me and how I make them happy. It was awesome. But when I reread them, I started to think about how maybe a Mother’s Day card is a mini performance review. You know, once a year at work your boss would pull you in and tell you how well you are doing, and how you made a difference over the past year.(Now, I know some companies aren’t so good about the performance reviews and some reviews seem rigged or written by someone who has never even met you. But in THEORY, they are meant to be feedback for performance and motivation to keep working hard.)

To me, the most frustrating part of being a Mom is you don’t really get feedback. There’s no incentive trip you can qualify for when you have a banner year. There are no plaques to take home for 10 years of excellent service. Sure, your kids give you instant feedback on whether they are mad or happy with you, but there is no wise one with more experience standing behind you saying “Yes, well done,” or “You handled that nicely,” or “Next time, don’t flick your dirty spoon to make your point.” So, a Mother’s Day card plays that role.

When my son writes how much he likes dancing with me, I know we need to dance more. When my daughter says she loves me because I’m creative, I know I need to take more time to draw with her. When my husband says he loves me because I’m so strong, I will work harder to support him and keep the family strong. Or maybe he meant my rock hard abs? No, that’s not it…

While one day a year of feedback and accolades isn’t enough to get me through a whole year, it sure helps to lift my spirits and guide me on my quest to be the “Most Interesting Mom in the World.” (If there is a wine or margarita company who would like me to be a spokesperson for them, I’m totally game. And, I’m interesting.)

I’m going to keep my fingers crossed that I qualify for an incentive trip or plaque next year but in the meantime, I hope you have an uplifting Mother’s Day and a great Family Performance Review.

Sue Kirchner is the founder of the Chocolate Cake Moments blog, designed to inspire and help busy families have more fun, so they can have more ‘Chocolate Cake Moments’ – when they are smiling, relaxed, and enjoying their family time. Sue and her family fun ideas have been featured on ABC Chicago, WGN TV, and NBC Chicago. When she’s not working, she is CFO (Chief Fun Officer) for her family.