Sleeping Problem - Chicago,IL

My little girl is almost 7 weeks old and fell asleep in my arms for the first several weeks. Since week five, though, after her really long evening feeding she goes into her crib super groggy and nearly asleep. After I leave, she stirs and squeaks a little, but eventually goes to sleep without crying or help from me. Don't worry at this point about messing up her self-soothing abilities. She'll eventually develop them on her own. I didn't do anything different for mine. She just developed her own abilities to go to sleep in her crib.

Hi D.,

This is the begining of your baby's process for sleep. Much of how she will sleep will depend on how you handle it with sleep training and how her personality is. I do a lot of sleep training as a post partum doula so I've seen all kinds of situations, at 2 weeks, this is normal.

My first suggestion is to pay attention to when she does a "cluster feeding" which is a lot of eating over a 2-4 hour period of time. For example; 2oz at 4:30, 1 1/2oz at 5:15, 2oz at 6, another 2oz at 6:30. She may be extra fussy at this time too. When you see this it is usually a sign that she is "storing up" to do a big sleep. Pay attention to how long she sleeps after this feeding and if it seems to be a deep sleep and/or slightly longer that her other sleeps at night, then THIS is the sleep you pay attention to. This is the sleep you want to expand from 2-3 hours to 4-5 hours, to eventually all night.

Also, are you swaddeling? I highly, higly, higly reccommend it. The BEST, BEST, BEST swaddle blanket on the market is the miracle blanket. You can only buy it on-line at www.miracleblanket.com. Other blankets with the velcro change shape after you wash them enough and your baby grows. I've used the Miracle Blanket for 13lb babies!! Also a pacifier works wonders for some, not all, but some babies. And don't worry, it wont destroy their teeth. Besides, it's easier for a child to break a pacifier habit than a thumb sucking habit.

Also, try the "shushing" technique. Babies like that a lot, find a rhythm and keep shushing. If your mouth gets dry, get a sound machine that has a "seaside" or "ebb tide" option on it, but be careful, some of those seaside ones have a sea gull that squacks every 90 seconds or so and it can blow everything you worked for.

Finally, I recommend the book, "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It is the sanest advice you'll find and it doesn't involve torturing your baby by having her cry herself to sleep until she passes out from exhaustion.

Good Luck,
L.

D.,
Snuggling with your newborn is the best part! If you are breastfeeding, do it often. Read Dr. Sears' books. Always comfort your baby. She needs you and loves you!
Amy

D.,

Do what makes you comfortable. Your baby is only 11 days old and is still pretty new to being "outside" of you. I understand that you don't want to start something that will become a problem later, but the baby is sooo young. All children, and parents are different, follow your instincts. My daughter was held to go to sleep for quite some time and now she sleeps just fine. To make her comfortable in her own bed, I would put her down in the crib when she is awake and just let her hang out there to get used to the surroundings.
Just remember, you don't have to take all the advice given to you!! (My mother-in-law said that a child should have a hat on it's head when it gets the least bit cold because they could go blind....WHAT)

D.,
I'm a mom of an 8 week old. I'm not exactly sure how to solve your problem but I don't think the answer is to "let her cry" in her crib or elsewhere for very long. She is WAY too young to be spoiled by this type of behavior. She just needs to be held, sometimes I know that is difficult for you, it is still an issue for me, but I think you need to comfort her as much as you can.

Have you tried a pouch sling? I have one, its a small piece of material and the baby feels cradled (like in the womb) when I hold him and falls asleep easily, then I am "holding" him in the pouch but have hands free to do other things. It works well.

D.,

Comfort your baby. A two week old baby needs all your love and attention. I didn't "try" using the cry out method until my baby was around 18 months (and only with one of my children)..and even then (for us) it was always better for me to go in and comfort him. Now 3 & 2 my kids are always telling me how "I'm always there" for them. They know I'll always come to comfort them no matter what.

D.,

How wonderful to be able to snuggle with your little lamb. I know it is overwhelming and all the advice is just too much sometimes for someone so new to it. As you read, you will find out that your little baby is too young to "cry it out". Your little one is showing you what she needs by falling asleep on you. You will not spoil her. You will however create a bond and a sense of security for her. Follow her lead for now. She will let you know when she is hungry, wet, tired and so on. When she is older you can help her adjust to new routines. She will be ready and by then you will also be more confident about making those decisions. First thing you need to do is learn to filter all the advice. Take what you are comfortable with and let the other advice go. The only right way is the way that works for your family, not your friend's family or your sister's family. You will be great and your little girl will be all the better for it.
Listen to your daughter mom, she is letting you know what she needs.

I say give the kid a break - she's only been in the world for 11 days and is probably not ready to be away from mom. You will not set up any perminant sleep habits this early in your child's life, so do what you need to do to get some sleep yourself. You can nap with your baby laying on your chest, co-sleep (you'll want to make sure your husband is ok with this one and keep blankets and pillows away from her), or you might try using a co-sleeper (basically a crib attached to the side of your bed) so that she knows you're right next to her. That way if you need to you can put a hand on her chest to let her know it's ok and that you're there. Your instincts are correct - just be with and comfort your baby.

I napped and slept with my son until he was about 10 weeks old. Then we moved him into his crib for naps, and out of his co-sleeper at 12 weeks. Now he is 4.5 months old and sleeps from 7-6:30 with only one wakening.

Your baby is much too young to be left alone in her crib to cry herself to sleep. Most babies don't develop a self-soothing skill until their fourth month. For the first few months, it's your child that dictates how and when they sleep. The good news is that it is only a phase that they will soon be out of. Best of luck to you.

D. (((hugs)))
Two weeks old is way to young to do the cry it out method. They don't know how to soothe themselves at this time. All they know is that the person who does do that for them has left them. Hold her, comfort her, shush her to sleep those things are all wonderful things to do to help her sleep. One thing to look into getting is either a Miracle Blanket or Swaddle Me. Something to help swaddle the baby. I used the Miracle Blanket and was getting longer stretches like 5hrs with my daughter when she was 4 weeks old. She is now 2 months old and doesn't get swaddled anymore unless she is really fussy. She also can sleep 7-8hrs at night now.
A baby that is 2 weeks old can never be spoiled by being held too much. Is she fussy? Is she wet? Is she hungry? These really are the three things to worry about at this point. You can let them cry a little bit if you have to take a moment to regain your composure but to do the CIO method with sleep at this time in their life is to early. Most Dr's don't advise it until they are over 4 months old. The best advice book I have found so far is Baby 411. http://www.windsorpeak.com/baby411/default.html

D.,
first off I just want to reassure you as others have that it gets sooooo much easier. Just hang in there. Next, you are TOTALLY safe with the baby on your chest and there is no way you are going to roll over her. It just doesn't ever happen unless you have some kind of sleep disorder and don't wake up from her movement. You are fine doing that for now. However, you may want to rest her on her stomach next to you in a moses basket - that might help and keep her close as well. There are other things you could do but you got a lot of feedback and I'm sure you'll continue to so fret not and just enjoy these first few weeks of sleeplessness while your baby is so tiny and precious cause you're gonna turn around and blink and she;ll be so so big. Trust me! Good luck and congrtulations.

read the dr. sears books or askdrsears.com there's nothing wrong with cuddling a child that age till they fall asleep, she'll learn to fall asleep on her own when she's a little older. right now she needs to know that you're there for her.

I think she is way too young to be putting herself to sleep (cry it out). When my son was this young he would sleep in my arms all the time. At night he would sleep on my chest as well. I didn't feel this was dangerous. I was VERY aware of him and I probably remained in a lighter sleep. He, over time, didn't need this. Make sure also that you keep her swaddled when she sleeps. Babies like the warmth and tightness of the blanket. Remember she has only been out of the womb for a few weeks she liked it in there and being placed in a wide space such as a crib or bassinet is not as comfortable or secure to her.

D. - do NOT listen to what others say about letting your baby cry it out. Sheesh, I hate it when "well-meaning" relatives and friends tell you how to take care of YOUR baby.

Lots of people told me not to spoil our baby (he is almost 4 months old now), to not hold him all the time - but I didn't listen.

Until your baby is 3 or 4 months old, there is no such thing as spoiling - co-sleep, hold her do whatever you have to do so that baby is happy. Before you know it, your baby will be past the newborn stage. Hold her as long as it takes for her to fall asleep, once she has passed into a deep sleep (stopped fluttering her eyes and body feels limp), then set her down in the crib.

Until my baby was 11 weeks or so old - he would wake up every 1.5-3 hours at night. The first 2 months were exhausting - but trust me, soon she'll be smiling at you all the time, sleeping 4 hour stretches or more, and you will forget everything.

cherish every moment you have your new baby in your arms!!

Let her fall asleep on your chest. Do not let her cry it out. She is too young for that nonsense. You hold your baby until she is snoozing. Good Luck and Congrats. on your new baby.

I used to allow my daughter to fall asleep on my chest, and then I would sleep with her like that. However, it is so dangerous cause what if I rolled over and didn't remain sleeping on my back when I slept? Plus I didn't sleep well in that position. She eventually learned to fall asleep on her own and then I would put her in the bassinet in our room. Your baby is only 11 days only, so she is getting used to you as much as you are getting used to her. Don't worry - it will get better.