Seperation Anxiety - Kaukauna,WI

It's entirely possible that your son will outgrow it and it's also possible that he won't and you may need to seek help from a therapist. There are a few things you could try - like giving him something to carry in his pocket while at church - a picture or some small token of you/family that will provide him comfort, you could encourage him with a special "treat" after church - family outing or game time or something - certainly does not have to involve money or food, doing some preteaching - preparing him for what is going to happen, what time you'll be back etc.

Yes, they DO outgrow separation anxiety and the need to be by your side 24/7 -- just ask the parent of any teenager!! ; -)

I would say keep doing what you're doing, as far as bringing them to Sunday School and having non-relative babysitters. I think that for the first few weeks, it's not the worst idea to have either you or your husband stay in Sunday School with them. The other kids and the teachers will soon become friendly faces. Trust your gut as to when it's time to start leaving them alone there. You could leave them alone for the first half of the service and then return to them for the second half, working up to leaving them alone the whole time.

I will give you my own perspective on separation anxiety, which I think can differ from the norm: it's not "bad", it doesn't mean your child is flawed, or that there is anything wrong with your parenting. I think separation anxiety can show that a child has a good attachment to his parents, that he is comfortable at home and feels safe there. (Of course, a child can have those feelings w/out separation anxiety, too.) Also, some children are just more at ease in social situations than others, and I do not believe you can change anyone's "nature" in this regard.

FWIW, my two cents on Pre-K: if he's not ready, he's not ready. In Minnesota, the law for compulsory ages for school attendance is 7-16, so why people feel pressure to send their 4 & 5 year olds (who may or may not be ready) to school is something I do not understand.

My son is 13 months old and we bring him to Sunday School, too. He usually does OK, but he does have his rough days. Two weeks ago when we went to pick him up, he was sitting by the door sobbing. The teachers were trying to console him, and they had ushered the other kids into another room while my son had his meltdown. (So know that you are not alone!)

Also, my son is very skiddish around strangers, and that is A-OK with me! We live in an apartment building, and even if a stranger's voice carries in from the hallway to our apartment, my son can get a worried look on his face. I know he will outgrow it in time.

Good luck.

They will outgrow it. You just need to keep dropping them off at Sunday School and the church nursery when they act up in church.

We farm so our 2 kids are with mom and/ or dad pretty much 24/7. The only sitters our kids have EVER had are grandparents and an aunt and uncle. HOWEVER, our 3 1/2 year old does go to Sunday School and is fine there BUT at Tuesday night bible study she likes to throw a little tantrum. They are the only 2 kids there on Tuesday nights so I think that she just wants to be with other kids.... But I still drop her off screaming and she gets over it quickly and I can hear her laughing and having fun then.

We need to encourage our kids to try new situations and be with new people. They will get over the tantrum stage and they DO HAVE FUN after we leave! I did daycare for 5 years and kids just like to see if they can run the show. They get over it quickly and start to play the with the others. It's tough to hear them cry but we NEED to shut the door and make it easier on the caregivers to comfort them.

What I have found that works the BEST is to drop off and run. Don't lingure around and keep saying bye or try to distract them. Just drop and run. It's the least interupting and it doesn't give your child much chance to make you feel bad. As a former daycare provider and mom: I say that this is the EASIEST FOR MOMS AND KIDS ALIKE!!!

start early in the week and play a game with them where you have to leave the room, tell them you'll be back,the first time don't stay gone for more than a couple of minutes,(especially if they are crying)Then begin reassuring them."See, Mommy said she would come back,I will always come back" So on and so forth,each time stay gone longer but always reassure them you will come back,you can make it fun"I told you I'd be back you silly goose" By the time Sunday comes, they should be fairly confident you'll be back,and hopefully won't mind your leaving so much, incorporate it into the game you've been playing all week,After awhile you won't have to play the game if you don't want to,and being comfortable with the seperation leaves their minds open to interaction with other children.Good luck! Hope this works for you,it did me.It could very well take two,three,weeks you just have to gain their trust,once its there,its always there.