Peeing in a Strange Potty

Sit him on your toilet while you hold him. Show him how to grip the seat. Instead of telling him wont fall in, teach him how NOT to fall in. When he refuses tell him that isnt an option. He MUST do this because he has to go to school. Sympathize with him so he knows you understand his fear, but reassure him that you will NOT let him fall in. He is probably afraid of being flushed so you might get a ball and let him throw it in the big toilet and try to flush it. (make sure the ball is big enough not to flush, yet smaller than him, a softball size ball will work)
Hold him on the big toilet a few times a day for a couple of minutes. Dont insist he make in it, but do insist he sit.

C., there are no potties made for middle schoolers, so I am assuming you mean school has a standard toilet. Your home has a standard toilet as well. 3 year olds don't need a potty. My kids never used one, they trained at 3 right to the standard toilet. I would not go back to diapers or pullups, he will simply have to use the toilet. If you're still using a potty at home, I would stop. He'll either use the toilet in school or he'll have accidents. You may also find that his teachers will have some input as to how to get a reluctant bathroom user to have success!

Hi C.,
My 3 year old boy just went thru the same thing while potty training...would only go on the potty at home. We started out with a little potty for him, then eventually made him start using the regular toilet. He just climbs on and sits backwards while going. Sounds strange but whatever works for him. Anyway, he finally started using the toilet in public/other homes this past weekend due to seeing his friends go. I bet your daughter will just catch onto "peer pressure" and will be fine once she realizes where the other kids are going to the bathroom, so I wouldn't worry too much. She'll be fine. :)
And if she has an accident while adjusting, it won't be the end of the world, as I've figured out many times. I'm sure it won't hurt to also mention to her teachers her fear of going outside the home, they'll take extra time to make sure she's comfortable.
Good luck!!
Lynsey

he cant use a potty seat there? they have these nice fold up ones that you can put in his bag and the teacher can put on the seat for him when he goes.....

I have a girl so the issue is a little different. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to reach the seat. I found out from one the preschool teachers that they had stools for them to stand on. I also took her for a tour of the school & gave her an opportunity to try it out.

Can you talk to the teacher for ideas? My son was a little hesitant to use the toilet at school but I helped him the first few times when I picked him up from school. You could even bring the seat you use at home (or see if the school would mind having you keep one there).

My son is 4.5 now and it took a long time to get him potty trained (he was almost 4 before he wore underwear outside the house). The last 9 months he has been getting more used to using bathrooms away from home. I usually go in the stall and just pick him up to put him on the toilet. I have taught him to pee standing up but he doesn't always like to. The path to getting a kids independent in the bathroom is so much longer than we as parents might like!