Sorry this will be so long but lots to explain. My parents are high school sweethearts and they just had their 30th wedding anniversary. My mom has been talking about them renewing their wedding vow but they never planned anything. So my brother and I are thinking of planning it for them and surprising them.
My parents had a small wedding at my mom’s parents house 30 years ago. My mom did not really get anything that she wanted including her dress…you would understand why she did not stick up for herself if you knew my grandmother! So at this point I think that is is just the sentiment of renewing their vows as they are probably one of the only coupled I know that has been married this long and still very much in love. My brother and I are so proud of them and want to do something nice to show them how much we love them and how incredible we think it is to still be together and in all honest still love each other. My parents are still best friends after all these years!
I think my mom would rather have a very intimate occasion but my dad would like a big party. Money is tight for my brother and I, and they all live in Minnesota and my family (husband, 2 boys and I) live in IL. My parents have many friends in Minnesota but since my mom went through an illness since January they have really pulled away from everyone because they are not such great friends. So I am leaning towards a smaller event and just asking a few people I truly know would make it special and meeting somewhere for a mini-vacation weekend. Any ideas on somewhere neat in either Northern Illinois, Iowa, Southern Minnesota or in Southern Wisconsin?
Since my mom did not get to pick the dress she wanted would you tell her before hand so that she could get something really special? Will a wedding shop let you take a few dresses and return so that I could pick something and give her options? Would you tell your mom the night before so you could go shopping for a dress? What else would you plan ie photographer, food? Also, my brother and I thought about doing the ceremony or would you have someone else do it? Would we need to get ordained?
The other option would be to go to my parents and surprise them but then I feel like we would have to invite all their “friends” that I am not so sure they would want there. We would have a hall there that we could get for cheap.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
"My mom did not really get anything that she wanted including her dress…"
If you do it for her as a surprise, you're just repeating the past.
If you'd like to foot the bill, great :) But if you're tying for a "her" special day, since she never got one, I wouldn't repeat it with you in the role of her mum; arranging everything, even if you gave her options.
Do they like surprises? Do they care about helping with the plans or do they like when it is just sprung on them? I wouldnt want my kids to do this to me. As nice as it is to be proud of them staying together and being a great family, I gain a lot of joy in planning and looking forward to events. I would want to have the memories of planning something this specail and you would be taking that away from them. It sounds like she didnt get to do much her way the first time, and you would be doing that to her again. Now if you are certain they love to be shocked and surprised you can just fly with it and plan a big party and hand her a dress at the last minute. Yes photographers, food, music, cake, and would think because they are already legally married, whoever does the ceremony doesnt have to be someone ordained.
Just as Riley J. said, why would you want to repeat your mom's past and leave her out of the planning for a vow renewal? Offer to pay, and/or offer to help plan, but this is her day, not yours.
How did they celebrate their 30th? What was their first wedding like? Who stood up for them. Who are their best buds now? If money is tight, why not stay close to home. Anyone you know have a nice big garden or home...OR belong to a country club or have a club house or church hall room available at low or no cost? How many do you think will be on the guest list? Once these questions are answered, you will get better suggestions. As far as the dress, if you know you mom's size and want to make it a surprise, you could pick up a few choices, let her select the one she likes and return the others.
Blessings..
I guess the first thing that comes to my mind is to maybe surprise them both with maybe like a Shutterfly book of their original photo album of their wedding 30years ago (assuming they have photos of course) and at the end you could put a "to be continued" and have a nice letter stating what you'd like to have happen. This way, it's an unexpected gift with more to come and your parents can be fully involved to make their event the most memorable they would want it to be.
gl!
Is your Dad going to be into this?
Or is it just a surprise for your Mom?
Your sibling, I would think *should* put in money for this too, and contribute.... in anyway they can.
Would they really like this????
Personally, I would want to plan my own, vow renewal.
Vow renewals... are not a "wedding."
