I Want to Have a Second Baby, but When Would It Be a Good Time?

I was always worried bout getting pregnant while my oldest daughter was still in diapers... to me it would be difficult having them both in diapers.. Well my girls r 5 yrs apart... She is such a great big sister.. She helps me if i need it... Only when u think u can handle a nother baby.. I was kinda stressed when I found out i was pregnant last yr with my daughter.. cuz we had just moved into our apartment from staying with different ppl.. I guess u could say I was almost homeless... So it was scary.. My husband was at his job for 1 month before I got pregnant... But we have been in our 2 bedroom apartment for over a yr now and hes been at his job for a yr and half now... So it all turned out alright....

Since you are still nursing, have your cycles returned? I didn't get mine until my son was 12 months old so TTC wasn't even really a thought until that point for us. We did start TTC and honestly, now that I am pregnant with baby 2, I wished I would have waited another year. It's not that I'm not looking forward to this baby or thankful for it, but I didn't realize how much being pregnant would disrupt my life right now. I've been really sick and it's so hard taking care of the baby I do have. I am still nursing because I hadn't wanted to wean my son yet and he's not ready to wean so the drop in my supply has been h*** o* us especially as far as night time is concerned. I wished I had read more about nursing during pregnancy before taking this on. If you have a goal to nurse your baby for a certain amount of time... try to stick to that goal before even considering TTC. Because if you're not ready to stop nursing, it might be hard when and if you are not able to continue. Lots of women do continue ( like I am) but there are days I want to stop. You can also tandem nurse which I'm considering might happen if my son doesn't self wean before then... It's just a lot to consider and think about. I think waiting at least a year though is good for you and your body - to give it a rest from being pregnant.

Here's my two cents. There is never a perfect time to have a child. No matter what, there will be pros and cons to it. The older you get, the harder it is to get pregnant and there is an increased risk of abnormalities. After 35, a pregnancy is considered in a "high risk" group, so you do have some time, so long as you stay fertile. As far as the 1 bedroom house and the space you'll need, remember you have to get pregnant, carry the baby for 9 months and it probably won't even be walking around for another 9 or more months. That gives you 18 months from right now to figure something out. In the meantime, you could start up your business again, see what it's like to work with a child in the house (get use to it) and earn some money to put aside for the new rent, deposit, or whatever. The second child is not nearly as expensive as the 1st one. You already have most of the things you'll need. If you're nursing, that saves a ton of money too. My daughters are 24 months apart and they are best friends. I got pregnant with my second when the first one was 16 months old. You have some time before the gap of them being close in age gets too big. Good luck. I'm not trying to scare you about not being able to get pregnant again, I'm just saying it's something to consider as a possibility the longer you wait. Every woman is different. There are women 40 years old having babies all the time now. I'm 37 and have a 1 year old too. We haven't been using any protection for about 6 months and I'm still not pregnant. I want to get pregnant before I'm 38 for sure because after 38 the possibility of Downs is increased drastically. I will have an amniocentesis, just like in my last pregnancy, to be certain. Good luck with your decision. Also, if you're able to stay home with the children, you'll save so much money in childcare.

Hi Susana,
We got pregnant with our second child (a little girl due January 3rd) when my son was 13 months old. We were right in the middle of packing for a move when I started bleeding and was put on bedrest. So my poor husband was left packing and moving everything and taking care of our son by himself with a little help from some friends. I have since been let off of bedrest but it is incredibly hard to take care of a toddler who doesn't understand what is going on and all he wants is for Mommy to play with him, but your tired and you can't move around as easily with a huge belly. If I had it to do all over again we would have waited until he was atleast 2 or 3 years old before getting pregnant. Also think about if you move after you have baby number 2 how hard it will be to try and pack and take care of your kids at the same time. My one year old thought he was helping by taking things out of boxes while I was trying to pack them up. Money is also a big issue. While baby number 2 doesn't cost as much up front you will still have diaper bills, clothes (especially if it is the opposite sex), food (when it starts eating solids around 4 months) wipes, and you know you will get other new things. So if your budget is tight you may want to wait until you are a little more stable so you aren't stressed out about how to afford everything both of your kids need. And while you get some work in with one kid think about how hard it will be working around two babies routines. I would wait until your first is in some kind of kindercare program. It will just make your life easier. Hope it helps. Kids that are 2 and 3 years apart still can be very close. But also keep in mind that siblings who are any age may just not get along as well as you would hope. It's a fact of life.

Honestly..it is all about when you and your hubby are ready. I remember wanting to make sure the age difference between my babies were around 2-3 years. Funny cause I recall when my aby was 18 months EVERYONE from doctors, nurses, to friends and family all saying now's the time. Apparently it's like the perfect time to have another. Well, for us..it was about then we decided to have another..so my daughter will be exactly 2 and a half when my son in born next year. So good luck to you and go for what you will be comfortable with. I knew I needed to have my daughte potty trained before my next baby, and well mission accomplished. Good luck

That is a wonderful question. Now is never a geood time but now is the perfect time. Does that make sense? Think about it, you say that you want to keep the pregnancy weight and stuff close together, but money is tight right now. You say you want to get all the nursing and stuf out of the way, but moneyis tight right now. You say that you want to concentrate on your babies, but money is tight right now. Did you know that expenses are not doubled, just joys are multiplied?

I can help you learn how to get the money you need (and more!) but first you have to make a decision.

Just make the decision that your family is the most important thing to you. Once you make a decision, everything will align itself with that decision and move to give you your hearts desire. Trust me. I know what I am talking about. I went from being a mother of 2, married, school teacher, living in Canada to now being a married, mother of 2 (11 & 8) entrepreneur traveling the world with my family inspiring other families to get out of their own way and be the amazing family unit they can be.

I can help you. All you have to do is ask.

B.
www.HeyYouGetReal.com

I surveyed everyone I met about good ages apart and a bit over 3 years was the winner. 2-3 year of age is all about me and a tougher time to share Mom.

I had my son in a morning preschool starting the Sept before my daughter was born (he was almost 3). He asked for a sister 2 months before she was born. Many of his freinds had siblings right after school started.

Three years was good for me too since I was able to have mornings off for a few months before she was born and I felt complete about giving my son a full babyhood with Mom focusing on only him.

There are so many wonderful moments you have to come and neat things to do that are much easier to do with one child. With a second child you have to come back to the house for nap times which usually are not in sync. One is down from ie 9-11 and 1-3 and the other is down for naps from 2-4 and you are in the house all day instead of at the zoo or park with the older one.

My kids are 3 yr 2 months apart and they are very close.

Good luck!

E.

Basically, it is never the right time until you are pregnant. If you are worried about finances then see a debt counselor or a financial advisor before getting pregnant, but tell them your plans and what you need/want for the future. Many credit unions offer this service for free or low cost if you are a member. The weight issue, well in all honesty yes, it would be better for you and the baby if you were in the best possible shape before and during your pregnancy. Remember, it took you 9 months to gain all the weight you did; it always takes longer to lose the weight safely. Nursing while pregnant is not an issue (Dr. Sears books explain this, you can borrow from a public library for free). As for the closeness bond; that just comes from family dynamics and how you raise your children and their temperments. My youngest sister and I are five years apart, yet we are the closest in bond with each other. We talk every single day (even though we live 3 hours apart). I am 2 and 1 years younger than my two oldest siblings and I never talk to them for more than 10 minutes without arguing. Oh, my children are 3 years, 11 months, and 2 days apart!

Hi Susan,

I am a mother of 3. My oldest is 5 and started kindergarten this year. I also have a set of fraternal twins who are 2 years & 8 months old :)My kids are 2 years and 5 months apart in age.

In my honest opinion I think 2-3 years difference in age is good. You get to spend more time with your first child rather than hop back into baby making and having another baby so soon. Also, you said that you have to consider your financial side as well. My husband too is the soul breadwinner but I also work just not full time. Kids are expensive esp when you have twins but I wouldn't trade my kids for the world.

I hope I helped you in some way. Good luck!

Follow your heart....

My kids are; 17,12,7,5 and 3 months...... We share everything together - - - I have to admit the 2 year spread seems to have the most rewarding relationship as far as being able to play together.... I am also closer to my sister that is 2 years older than the sister that is 1 year younger....

A lot of your children's relationships will come directly from how you direct it.... I can say give your body time to heal.... Wait 6 months after you finish breastfeeding to get your strength back.

Susana,
I had my children 2 years and 3 months apart, and they get along great. I always wanted to have them 2 years apart, which is a great age span. My oldest got to be the baby and I got to enjoy him in those stages. My oldest was not completely potty trained till he was 3 and having 2 in diapers is expensive and if your second dosn't nurse, formula is also very expensive.
My advice would be to take those expenses into consideration before making your decision. We struggled for the first year, because I just assumed that my second would also nurse, and expected my oldest to be potty trained. Ive learned that they will go when there ready. Hope this helps.