How Does Everyone Spend Quality Time W/ Your Significant Other? Please HELP??

I would love to help you out. I know how hard it is. I have a two year old little girl that loves to be with mommy and daddy all of the time. We could start a babysitting chain. I have another friend that I am going to start with once a month I will watch her kid and then she will watch mine. You can email me back if you want ____@____.com. I know some times all me and my husband need is time to go see a movie.
B.

Man does this sound familiar. My husband and I have battled that situation. We have his mom come over and keep the kids while he and I go out. I know not everyone has a baby sitter on call so I recommend babysitters.com you type up your zip code and pull up a detailed list of babysitters in your area. Many of them have picuters up and references, fees, hours and even how many kids they will take care of. When he and I go out we try not to talk about the kids or the household. We keep it strictly about us. We have been able to talk about how we feel about things and he has listened. He heard me when as I was telling him how I felt about things. Our sex life has improved. I also agree with sneaking quickes the garage is a good place because it's so private. Mine and I have always been best friends but no time for our selfs with a teen ager a preschooler and a new baby it's hard. I feel closer and more connected to him than ever. Another thing that is very important is to keep the lines of communication open. Good luck.

Hi K.,
OK, I think I can help in this area.

Plan A:
Go buy a bottle of wine,(you must have this on hand as a back up at all times) Then you tell yourself that when your husband comes home, you are going to flirt and imply that you want to have some "special" time with him at 8:02pm that night.(verbally say this but also give a lot of body language) Flirt,tease and flirt and tease some more. Make his favorite meal also and at 7:00 have a glass of wine, after the kids are in bed,go take a shower together then initiate SEX! This part is very important...you have to do the initiating.Have fun!!

The next day you have to call your husband at work and say he was amazing and tell him that "He's It"! (as in a game of tag)-so it's his turn to initiate and plan.

Plan B:
Call me...I can babysit! ###-###-#### My kids are older and I would welcome some babies. Get a good support group and get as many as possible so if someone says no, you call the next person. Make a copy of this list and make sure your husband has a copy of it too so he can plan something secretive if he wants to surprise you!

Good Luck!
J. N

I work full-time days and my husband works 4pm-2am on a rotating schedule. I completely understand how difficult it is to schedule "adult" time. Unfortunately, it takes planning and schedule arranging. The days of spontaneous sex just have to wait until the kids are a little older and spend more time out of the house. (Now I understand why my mom was always happy to have me spend the night at a friend's house.) I agree with the other responses that you can have a perfectly good "date" at home when the kids are asleep. If you need a babysitter, I'm not sure if you attend church, but you can often find people there who can babysit. You may also ask some of your friends or even send out a mamasource request to mommies in your neighborhood. Its scary leaving your kids with someone you don't know.

Its important to find the time though. When its been awhile since "adult" time, I can tell that my husband and I get more argumentative and nit-picky with each other. Its worth making the time, even if its a quickie.

my husband and I have three girls ages 10,7,4 so I know what you are talking about. We "sneek" in quickies once in a while while they are playing on the weekend. Do your kids still take naps? That would be a good time for some quiet time. Our 10 year old is a night owl so it is also hard for us also but you just need to Make the time. See if you can "wake" your husband take a bath together after the kids are in bed. Talk with him and see what he feels about privite time. I agree with the person before me with a date night after the kids are in bed. Good Luck

T.

We don't have any family around and I am VERY cautious about who I leave my children with, so I know what you are saying. My husband works full-time and I also stay-at-home with the kids. Added onto it, I teach college class on-line during naptime and after bedtime. So we really don't get any time together. We do try to have "date night in" every now and again. Usually, I will talk to my oldest (3 years) and tell him he has to be in bed on time because mommy and daddy need special time together. I then put him and his sister (1 year) down around 7:30 or 7:45. I spend the evening before my hubby gets home making a special dinner. My oldest helps prepare everything. Once, we even set up chalkboards on the table with the names of the courses, just like a fancy restaurant would. We eat after the kids are in bed. We eat in the dining room with a tablecloth, dim lighting, candles, etc. I try to play it up. I also make a REALLY good dinner if I can, dessert and all. Sometimes we'll go in the hot tub, sometimes not. But it makes for a romantic evening nearly the same as going out does. It's a little more work, but works for us since I'm more relaxed than I would be if the kids were with a sitter. We also keep one room in the house toy-free so we can hang out there after dinner. Good luck finding something that works for you. I know it's difficult.

Hey K.,
I just turned 28 in January. I am the proud mommy of 1 little 20 month old boy who I adore. I am also married to his daddy who works about 50-60 hours a week. He leaves at 5:30 a.m. and comes home about 5:30p.m. He too is ready for bed as soon as our son goes to sleep which is around 8. We have no time together and it is wearing on me. And we have a completely non existent sex life. We get along good still but it has definitely taken a toll on our relationship;. We were the kind of couple that did everything together. I miss him. Try telling your guy about all of this and maybe you could make a certain night where you spend time together. We try to at least lay down and watch t.v. together. That helps. Anyway we just moved here to depere from maryland and we do not know anyone. It is hard but hang in there.

I use to wonder that too and still at times do. Keep in mind your quality time together will come with time. Your little ones need you so much now and you both need sleep. If you can take little times to hug and kiss and tell eachother how you love them and can not wait til the kids will be able to be on their own a bit more to give you time alone. Perhaps time after booth children are sleeping or early in the morning just to cuddle in bed together will help. I have more energy now that mine re 2 1/2 and 5 1/2. We have time together in the nights and am and we have worked our way back to having sitters for 3-4 time periods to have dates to walk talk or grad a bit to eat. Your children are proof that you had time for sex and you will again! Being with them and just all cuddleing laughing and being together can be really special and the time when the kids are little will pass quickly. Well, it's good you are aware that you want more quality time with hubby, just let him know and that's a good start!

I am 28 and mom to an 8-month old.
I work full-time days and my husband works nights.
We don't have sex as often as we used to and we definitally don't get out much.
When we do have sex, its during naptime or one or the other of us gives up sleep.
Talk to your husband about it. Ask him if he minds if you woke him up for some lovin after the kids are asleep.
I think a weekly or monthly date night is a great idea, but we don't have any teenagers around or any other moms either so we haven't been able to set this up.Also, neither of our parents or any other family live here. So to make up for all the other date nights we haven't had, we are going to go on a 4-night vacation next month when my mom comes to visit.

I totally understand. Our lives are so crazy right now. We have three children ages 11,6,2. Plus I am a daycare provider, working long hours. My Hubby is going to college full time and working full time. We are to tired to do anything at nights. But we do try to keep the romance alive, sometimes he surpises me with candlelight dinners...after we feed the kids. We try to snuggle and watch movies on the weekends after the kids go to bed. I write him love letters or text his phone just saying "I miss you" or "Thinking of you"
Just recently I hired my teenage cousin to come over and babysit. So we actually went to the gym togather and out to dinner last weekend.
It's hard, but just try to sneek in time for just the 2 of you, its so important :)

Dear K. G,
Quailty time??? Whats That?!!! Just kidding.
Your little ones are the perfect age for interuptions,that is for sure. We have had our trials and errors on this one. I suggest start putting them to bed at 700pm with a story,hopefully that will get them to sleep by 730pm and give you both some snuggle time. Also you can set the alarm clock to go off a little earlier.The best Idea I have for you is...
You said there are no teenagers. What about another mom??? Maybe you could take her kids for a couple of hours on sat.and she could take yours for a couple of hours on sun. Just an idea. Good Luck!!! K. F.

I swap babysitting with a friend of mine so we can each have "date night?. It is free! We just make sure that once a month I sit for her and she sits for me. It helps with intimacy the rest of the month.

I have done "date night" at home as well. Usually it is dinner (home cooked or take out) and a rented movie. It is important to set the mood.

Once I sent the kids to a friends house for a couple of hours and created a "love nest" in the living room with blankets and pillows. I had a bunch of candles, chocolate and romantic music ready for when he got home from work. He was amazed.

Hi K....
I know that I dont live that close to you guys but I am willing to babysit sometime. If you are willing to drive out here.

R.

Plan a date night at home. Work together to put the kids to bed early...they have no idea what time it is! Then pre plan your evening...a special dinner of adult food (no chicken nuggets!) some wine, a movie or we like to play games together and then maybe some loving. This is a cheap night in with no babysitters needed. If you plan it, it can be just as exciting as going out of the house!

Well, you could surprise him in the morning. Then you both at least get your day off in a good mood.
Dont you guys have parents who are around?? Or any friends?
Dont be afraid to ask someone you know if they wouldnt mind coming over for a few hours while you and your guy escape for a little while. Even that amount of time can bring you closer again. Be willing to pay someone descent so they'll be happy to come and do it for you again.
Good luck to you.
Be creative in finding ways to stay in touch.
K.

my husband and i only DO IT on the weekends. we always DID IT before every couple of days. now he is too tired. i work from home and raise my 7 & 4 year olds alone during the week days, and he says he is tired. he has to make time to have fun. i would pick one of the weekend days to be THE day. except when you have your periods.