Hosting Thanksgiving - Taking over from the Older Generation

Updated on November 17, 2010
K.J. asks from Westmont, IL
10 answers

At what point did you (if ever) take over the Thanksgiving hosting duties from your parents' generation? The family members who host it are such awesome cooks and, although my family likes my cooking, I really am not confident enough about my skills to host Thanksgiving. I would LOVE to offer to help and to cook the turkey and ask others to bring the other dishes, but in my hubby's family (the only ones we live near) that is simply not done. The host cooks ALL aspects of the meal, which really intimidates me. (It is a cultural thing--Middle Eastern (hubby's family) hospitality dictates that the host do everything.) I do feel a duty to offer to host, but I don't want people to go home wishing they had gone somewhere else so they could get better food. (I am not a bad cook, but I just use a TON less salt and my family and I have gotten used to using other spices instead of salt. The rest of the family loads it on.)

Any ideas?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

You might mention that you would like to host Thanksgiving in a year or two when you're confident enough that you can do it to everyone's enjoyment. Between now and then, you can practice, practice, practice. Pick your relatives' brains! Find out how they plan and prepare the meals. They must have a system! Most people like to share their expertise and their wisdom - give them the opportunity to teach you.

When it's at your house you can change some things - like the amount of salt in the food. You'll have salt on the table for those who want it, but you can also mention when you serve the food what the spices are that make it different from what everyone is used to.

Keep in mind that when you do host the family, you want them to go home feeling fine about the food you served, but even finer about what an enjoyable time they had. If they're glad they came to YOUR house, you will have done very well indeed.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Spokane on

If no one else is hinting or bringing it up, then I wouldn't worry about it! It sounds like taking over would be a HUGE undertaking (personally not one I'D be into) because you have to do everything.

My mom didn't take over hosting duties till my grandma passed away, though she and my aunts DID make most of the meals at grandma's house. But since that's not an option here, I'd just lay low and practice my cooking skills for when it IS your turn to host :)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Dallas on

There is no way in hell I would host AND make EVERYTHING all by myself! I would suggest going out to a restaurant or hotel for a nice Thanksgiving buffet. Don't do this to yourself and don't fall for the guilt. This is a giant undertaking that no one deserves to do all by theirself. Don't do it!!!

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I didn't take over hosting until my parents moved to a small apt in a retirement village. But I did start helping more and more, if you feel guilty could you go early and help in the kitchen, leaving kids with Dad to come a little later? When the time comes to take over dont feel bad about the salt thing Just make sure there is salt on the table for guests to use.

1 mom found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

To host you have two options: 1 - host and cook everything your way and have a salt shaker available should anyone ask or 2 - host and have others bring a dish (or let some bring them and others not). The third option is not host at all. Keep in mind, it isn't just their Thanksgiving but yours too (so it is ok to mix their culture and yours).

I host some. I cook the core dinner and additional dishes are brought by others (sometimes what I ask them to bring, sometimes what they want to bring).

1 mom found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

We have moved all family parties to my house this year. I posted about this a few months ago. Recently I learned that my mom (she lives about a mile away) is going to have surgery the day before thanksgiving. So this leaves ALL the cooking with me. I sort of started to freak out last night when I realized it's next week!!! So anyway, I googled "Thanksgiving crockpot recipes" and tons of them came up. There is only going to be 9 of us so I don't feel too much pressure! However, we tend to eat the "basics". I don't like 10 different side dishes. Since I have 3 crockpots and my mom has 2 and my aunt can bring hers, I'm doing everything but the turkey and the jello salad in crock pots! That way I don't have to worry about everything in the oven and how long it will take, etc. So cross your fingers for me!

As far as the salt goes, I always thought that was something that each person can add individually? So that shouldn't be a concern. Buy those really cute individual salt and pepper shakers that each person gets their own and that will solve that problem!

I hope you find something that works for you! I think the best part of Thanksgiving is the family getting together, not necessarily what you are eating. Maybe start your own traditions! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

Thanksgiving is easy. Turkey in the Reynolds oven bag. A veggie, some stuffing, cranberries. Make it your way--who knows, they might find out they actually like something different. If not, they will gently work it to take over next year. If nothing else, get them all drunk and stuff them with food!

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Maybe offer to host NEXT year, then you've got an entire year to practice on your immediate family!!

L.C.

answers from Chicago on

I took over Christmas when I bought my first house and my grandmother was getting older - it became a lot of work for her to do it. I didn't find it hard at all - I love to cook and just made the basics - nothing fancy. A turkey in a roaster with butter (just follow the directions you find on the package about how long to cook a turkey) and some basic seasonings - a little salt and pepper; sweet potato and apple casserole, salad, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy and pumpkin pie. Make the pumpkin pie ahead of time. Prepare the casserole and stuffing the day before so all you have to do is put them in the oven about 1 hour before the turkey's done. Make the salad the day before. Basically all you're really making is the mashed potatoes and gravy.

Try this on a small scale with your hubby one weekend prepare the same dishes on a smaller scale the day before, then on Sunday make a chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy. You'll get the hang of it. It's easy.

R.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'm with Michelle, no one should have to host AND cook every dish, that's crazy! No offense, I understand it's their culture but they're in America now so it may be time to try something different, an American tradition. My husband and I took over the hosting duties when we get together so that his parents and my parents/sister&BIL could all be with us on the holiday. Normally that would have freaked me out but we make it easy. My husband fries and smokes turkeys, I make the pies and maybe a side dish or two, and everybody else brings a side dish or two and then we can all somewhat relax and enjoy the day. I think you should suggest starting a new American tradition for this American holiday. =)

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions