Help with 19 Mo Old Behavior Problems.

The best way to deal with that is to recognize what he wants. So, if he is arching his back and refusing to get in the carseat, find out WHY. My daughter has done that a few times when she didn't want to go home. I would tell her I was sorry that we had to go home, but explain why we had to go home, etc. and promise her that we would come back to where we were, or whatever. If she continued, then I would just tell her that " I am sorry, but if you won't cooperate, then mommy is going to have to force you into the carseat."

I have a friend whose son loves to throw himself on the floor. When my daughter did that, I would just leave the room and ignore it.

It will get better, just hang in there and ignore as much of it as possible.

BTW, terrible twos peak at 18-24 months, not when they hit two.

It sounds like he's using this behavior as a way of communicating to you without understanding it is making you distressed (and possibly harmful to himself).

I remember 19 months being rough for both of my kids, but they quickly grew out of it. Then along came 3 - no one warns you about three. We are right in the middle of it right now.

If he loves your key chain, is it possible to get him one of his own? We have one from a friend that has a few different buttons that make different noises, and the keys are chunky, but metal so they make more noises. I can't recall the brand, but both of my kids still love playing with it (at 3.5 and 23 months).

Our son was very easy to rationalize with, our daughter isn't. If she's upset, everyone knows about it. So, I hope your son falls into the camp of our son and is a gentle personality......and, that it will be over and done with soon.

Good luck!
D.

It should be a short phase...and most of us have all been there...we feel you!

I just talked my way thru the crying and fit throwing...kinda like what Denise P. said. "Here we go! We have to go pick up daddy, then go to the store, we need milk and cereal, etc, etc,etc"

Ha! Sometimes it helps them concentrate on what you are saying but mostly it just helped me get my mind on other things...cause there really isn't a whole hell of a lot of things you can do when you NEED them to get in the car!

Just remember that a nice sharp NO is needed when he is throwing a tantrum and displaying behavior that is not what you want. It doesn't always work but they are so smart, he will pick up on when you mean business and when you don't, so easily! So, be consistent.

Time to be in charge & clearly let him know that you will NOT tolerate this behavior. You do not have to be harsh, you do not have to be demanding. Even if he wants to be in control/charge, there are simply times when he cannot. You are the Mom & it is not in your job description to take this from him.

I know this sounds cold-hearted, but do you really want him acting like this? Find a solution that works for you, & stick with it. This does not mean catering to his every whim! Simply introduce a method for "how" he is expected to get in/out of the vehicle AND be consistent.

One thing which really jumped out at me was your comment about how he "goes limp & falls to the floor"....& you try to catch him. Man, oh, man - Mom.....he is manipulating you big time! Time to be in charge & nip this in the bud or he'll be THE ONE that everyone is looking at when you're out in public. And again, find what works for you....without indulging his every whim. I'm all for rewards, but for extraordinary behavior....NOT for basic life skills! Wishing you Peace in through your son's toddler years....

I remember those days! I used to feel like the worst mom in the world as I SHOVED my son into his carseat! LOL Get something (SOFT TOY) to keep in the car--that he only gets to play with in the car and hopefully that will distract him. He is discovering tantrums! LOL Just calmly talk to him the entire time "OK, here we go, going for a ride in the CAR! We'll get you ABC toy and off we'll go to the store..." Good luck. Remember distraction is your friend!

Did I write this?! Sounds just like someone I know-my 21 month old! Just today he did this when I was loading the kids in the car. I was pressed for time because I was taking my 3 year old to preschool, and guess who decided he didn't want to sit in his seat?? He slid right down to the floor! It is amazing how strong toddlers can be....

Good luck and hang in there!!

My child hated car rides too. I finally bought a DVD player for the car and it was the best investment ever. I bought some special "car only" dvd's that I knew my child would love, and now car rides are very enjoyable. I would start the movie in the car before I attempted to put her in the car. As soon as I opened the door to put her in and she saw her favorite movie playing, she was happy to sit in her seat! Now we can go on a two hour trip and I don't hear one peep from the back seat the entire drive. Just a suggestion. Some mom's might not agree with this solution, but we are all happier now in the car.

Hee hee!! Sorry to laugh. It's just funny how they are isn't it? My son did that same thing. Still does from time to time. They're such little stinkers. I hope all of the other moms' suggestions work for you. I tried all of that and nothing worked. It was just a tantrum and he would never ever listen to reason or what I had to say. The only thing I could do was hold him down with one hand and buckle him in with the other--the whole while he is still screaming. It was bad. I felt sooo guilty. Once he was in his seat and we were on the road though? He was perfectly fine. I think he was just trying to assert his "independence." Good luck!! :)

I agree with what everyone else has posted, but I would just like to add one thing. My daughter also did this (I'm sure everyone's does), but what helped was that she really wanted to do it herself. She wanted to climb in to the seat and try buckling herself up. Of course she was too young to do it, but she didn't think so. I would give her awhile to try it herself and sometimes I would pretend she was buckling when in fact my hands were over hers doing all the work. Instead of dreading getting in the car seat, she started looking at it as something new and different to try on her own. Obviously there were times when time didn't permit this. However, whenever possible try giving them some extra time...this age they really want to establish being independent. As for the rest of the fit throwing, I also agree with the prior posts. Ignore as much as possible. Good luck!

Completely normal.. Make up a completely fake set of extra keys to hand to him. If he throws himself on the floor walk away or stand next to him but do not look at him do not speak with him. If he does this behavior in public leave, every time.

This may be a time when taking him to a store, restaurant may not always work out. Make sure he is rested, fed and prepared to go. We used to tell our daughter, "we are going to the store this morning".. Then "we will leave in 5 minutes".. This gave her time to know what was happening and help her have some control. If she was really involved in something we would ask her, "do you want 2 more minutes?" Soon she was able to ask for "2 more minutes?" This was a way for her to have that little bit of control that she needed.

FYI, he is 19 months old.. leave it at that.