Help! Upset! Spun My 5 Week Old Fast. Is He Ok??

Do you have a cradle swing? Feed and change him and try putting him in his swing and go take a shower, or sit down and eat. There is nothing wrong with taking a small break. Putting him in a stroller and going for a walk will also do wonders. You need to get out of the house some.

Welcome to mamapedia, A.!

First, congrats on your baby!!

Second...stop trying EVERYTHING...he's ONLY 5 weeks old...he was in a nice warm environment for 9 months...now he's adjusting to light, sound (no longer muffled) and cold...and heat...

You need to find a mom's group so you can get some friends who can help out.

Your husband needs to step up. You need to sleep. I realize he has to work, but you need to sleep.

Call your insurance company and find out what they will pay for. Some insurance companies will pay for a doula or other type of care giver...ASK!!!

If you even think you have PPD - you need to get to a Dr. NOW...you don't want to mess with that...especially since you are already sleep deprived and that can turn to postpartum psychosis.

If you are breast feeding, pump. So that someone else can feed your son.

It's OKAY if you don't hop when you hear him cry. If you need a few seconds to compose yourself. Take it. You can talk to him while you are composing yourself so you are not ignoring him.

You can't take care of a baby if you refuse to take care of you. Just because your baby is your whole world? Doesn't mean you can't love yourself first. Being a mom is hard work. I would guess you are young, I'd say 20 to 22. You need to love yourself, that means you MUST care for yourself. Your husband MUST step up and take care of the baby so that you can get some sleep.

As I mentioned earlier - find a mom's group, call your insurance company and find out what they will pay for in way of a doula or care taker if you are diagnosed with postpartum depression.

Good luck!

My oldest was like this. I was incredibly sleep deprived. One thing that really helped was learning how to nurse him lying down, especially at night. He would wake to eat. I would role onto my side and latch him on and go back to sleep until he woke again. Sometimes I would do this for any afternoon nap and nap with him. Sleep is huge! This helped me get some sleep and saved my sanity.

I'll leave the medical advice to your pediatrician, but I will say that when my son was an infant he barely slept more than 10-15 minutes at a time during the day and nursed constantly. I was exhausted, and one night I put him in his new swing rather than his crib to see if that would help soothe him. He immediately fell asleep, with the seat swinging vigorously side to side at one of the higher settings. I only meant to leave it on for a few minutes but I was so worn out I immediately fell asleep on the floor of his room, right next to the swing. I woke up 3 hours later and he was still sound asleep, swinging happily away . I remember that I was absolutely terrified that I had damaged his brain but he was and is totally fine. Make an appointment with your pediatrician, get support, use any sleep method that works, and know that this season will pass. God bless.

As long as his head and neck are supported if you move fast he should be okay. A baby's head is very large compared to his body size and difficult for his neck muscles to support.
Don't beat yourself up. You are a new mom, you could have post pardum depression, which is caused by the wacky hormone levels. Do yourself a favor and RELAX, sleep when the baby sleeps. Get out of the house for a little while every day, plunk him in the stroller and go for a walk. Smile and say hi to people I know it sounds weird to do that now days but it is the best way to make friends. Go to the library for toddler story time, it will give you a chance to get out of the house and to meet people. Call a local church or middle or high school and ask if there might be a teen or pre-teen who could come in an hour or two a day, even two days a week. Tell them your money is tight but you could pay $10 a day, even if you can only afford two days a week it will help you more than you know. While the teen is there do your prep work for dinner, toss a load in the washer and dryer, then go outside and sit and read or take a nap.
Again don't beat yourself up your hormones are all over the place.

Our son didn't settle into a sleep pattern till about 8 weeks old.
I was a sleep deprived zombie and it was very hard to get through.

I don't know what I would have done without my husband.
He stayed home with us for 6 weeks (we'd saved up vacation time at work), Helped with laundry, cooking, took us to our doctors appointments, and held our son when I was passed out with exhaustion and simply HAD to SLEEP.
One time at 2am after child had been crying all day long he took us on a drive around the airport - child slept just FINE in a moving vehicle! - so I could have 30 minutes of peace and quiet - soon as we pulled into our driveway and the car stopped our son started crying again but that 30 minutes was one of the sweetest gifts my husband ever gave me!
I so love my man!

You need some sleep - you are severely sleep deprived.
Can your husband or your Mom come watch the baby for a few hours while you catch up on sleep?
Get a sitter if you have to - it doesn't have to be over night - you're tired enough to sleep during the day.
Pump some milk so they can feed with a bottle.
Our son never had any nipple confusion and went between bottle and breast just fine.

Get to the pedi and have baby checked. Then you go to the dr to be checked out. Maybe you need some meds.

Not ok spinning around with a newborn. Please get help, now. All newborns are needy, usually until they are approaching the 20's they are needy and them some....

Get help so you can be a good supportive mom.

Oh, honey. I'm sorry you are having these issues. It wouldn't have occurred to me that a quick spin like that would hurt the baby, I have a five week old as well and I'm not sure how fast you could have been spinning to have hurt him.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting the baby down and walking away for a few minutes to compose yourself. It's much better for both of you than for you to get super upset. Thankfully, he'll never remember this time.

I agree with another poster below that you need to hand the baby off to hubby when he gets home and go to sleep. The routine my husband and I have is that I get up with the baby on the week nights when he has to work, and Friday and Saturday night I get to sleep and he gets up with the baby. it's the only way I can keep my sanity, and I'm not even as sleep deprived as you are, as my baby will sleep for an hour or so if he's swaddled.

If I'm having a really bad day, then when my husband gets home from work, I put dinner on the table for him and our 7 year old (who goes to a summer program so I'm only home with the baby during the day) and when he's done eating I go to bed until it's time for him to go to bed, usually after the baby eats around 9.

One day my husband woke up to me crying because the baby had been up most of the night upset for no reason I could find (turned out to be bad gas, poor baby) and he just called in to work and put me back to bed. I hope that your husband is as supportive as mine and you can call on him to help you out. Good luck!

My first was a high needs infant and also had colic (he cried all the time). Whether he was screaming his head off or not, he had to be held constantly. He didn't sleep during the day at all. I never got a break. I even developed bursitis in my shoulder from the constant holding. I held him to use the bathroom, fix dinner, everything. There were times where I was like you- at my wits end, easy to anger, just really felt like I was going crazy. I was never depressed, although a high needs infant can bring out feelings of frustration that might surprise you. Don't beat yourself up. It's a lot for any mom- esp a first time mom.
My advice is when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated, put him in the crib safely and go outside for a few minutes to clear your head. He will be ok on his own for a few minutes in the crib. I used to do this and I would pace back and forth for about 5-10 minutes on the back porch until I felt better. Sometimes you just have to switch gears for a minute to get back on track.
I found it helpful to talk to people that had been there. My best friend had recently gone through her time with a high needs infant. I would call her, vent, and feel better. If you want to talk it over, PM me anytime.

I'm really glad you took him to the docs. And I'm thrilled he is ok.

You have a worse sleeper than I did and I don't see how you handled that!
Mine at least slept for an hour to an hour and a half when I could get him to sleep.

You must be exhausted. I was also. I told my gyn that I cried everyday. Nothing. He didn't do anything. I had only hubby, also. But we did go to church and I finally let my pastors wife know how bad it was when LO had an ear infection and didn't sleep all day. I called crying and she came over and couldn't comfort him either. To the ER that night. Maybe you could open up to a church in your area. If its big enough, it might have a respite ministry that will care for your baby a few hours one night. They help with special needs kids to give parents a break.

One more thing. He will be ok if you leave him to cry a bit while you take a break. Don't rush in at the first whimper. That was part of my problem too. I felt an overwhelming obligation to every need. You would have to be super human to do that. Alas, we are only human. You need to accept your own limitations. Seek help. Find a counselor and they can direct you to people who can alleviate some of your burdens.

Praying for you.

I haven't read everything posted. I do want to offer empathy in the fact that you have a "High Needs" baby. I had one too...my first. Dr. Sears talks about this type of baby in his books...

He never slept more than 20 to 40 minutes at a time around the clock. I tried every book/method/whatever and NONE worked.

I had a girlfriend who swore by Happiest Baby on the Block and told me I just wasn't doing it right. So she came over to swaddle and shush my son. When he was still screaming at the top of his lungs an hour later she gave up. I told her he hated to be swaddled...

Make sure you aren't just suffering from sleep deprivation.

I had to hand my son to my husband the second he walked in the door and go straight to bed at 6pm. I was "off call" until midnight when my husband came to bed. THAT is the only way I survived and got any type of sleep for the first nine months or so...

You are looking for help, keep looking until you find it.

That's not something we can answer for you.

Why is your baby "high needs"?

Babies eat a lot. It's normal.

Oh, I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It sounds like your baby is fine so stop beating yourself up about this. My first, my son, was like this as a baby...very high needs. He woke up 6-8x a night and did not start sleeping more till he was almost one. He had to be held all the time. He was very quick to cry, cry, cry. Give yourself breaks and take care of yourself. Let him cry for a while if you need a break. Go to free baby/mommy classes...not that you need a class but it gets you out of the house and around other new moms. Over time maybe you can make some friends and help each other out. I did this every week with my son and found a mom who would switch with me...I'd watch her baby some times to give her a break and she would watch mine. The woman who ran those baby classes told me later that my son was one of the hardest babies she had seen in 30 years...great. thanks! I had to just wrap him up close to my body a lot of the time. I was so sleep deprived it was crazy. Like you, I also had no family nearby. If I were you I would look for a nice sitter. On sitter city.com I found a wonderful woman...late 20s with a childhood development degree. She would come watch my kids a couple mornings a week while I did a little part time work. But you could use someone like this just once a week so you can get a break. Take a quiet walk or shop or do something that relaxes you. After having my second child it really hit me that it's just my son's personality and not anything I was doing wrong. He is 10 now...he is still hard in many ways and a unique but wonderful kid. Just remember your baby will grow out of this phase and things will change....hang in there. Be strong! Kick some parenting butt. You can do it! (Oh yes, I was reading the other responses and I remember I used to put him in a car seat and just drive. That helped sometimes. I drove a lot. I also used the bouncy chair and the baby swing a lot.)

First of all, mama, take a deep breath, and give yourself a break! I haven't read the other responses; I'm just going to tell you a few things. I have been where you are. Literally.

My first son (now 7) was an experience that would throw any mama into PPD. He was tongue tied, but we didn't have a clue until 2 weeks. My nipples were a mess, and I was essentially starving him. He was my first baby; I didn't know any different. My sister came for a visit and on Day 13 said that she had never seen nipples look like that before!! Her daughter was 20 months at the time. So, I called my midwife (he was born at home), and she set me up with Angela, a lactation consultation who started me on the right path. She got me pumping and on fenugreek, which got my milk up, but I had to take a break from nursing to allow my nipples to heal (yes, they were that bad). So, I'm now pumping, bottle feeding, no family, no friend with a husband who knows way less than I do about babies.

The ENT we were referred to beat me down even further by telling me he didn't have a tongue tie, that my breasts were just too large for him, and I'd have to wait for him to get bigger. Fast forward 4 months. I talked with Angela and told her that I was still having nipple pain even while using a nipple shield. She told me her friend had been working with a lactation consultant based in NYC (I lived outside Philly at the time) who was researching Type 3 & 4 posterior tongue tie. This LC diagnosed his type
4 posterior tongue tie through pictures I emailed to her and referred us to a wjnderul pediatrician who revised his tie at almost 5 months. Immediately after the procedure, he latched on, and it was literally like angels singing down from heaven!!!! I thought finally THIS is what it's supposed to feel like. We went on to nurse for 2 years 8 months.

He was never a good sleeper and never slept more than 3 hours at a time until he was almost 2. There were nights I would just sit in bed feeding him sobbing, pleading with him to go to sleep. I thought all kinds of things from what did I do to deserve this to wanting to physically throw him out the window. I would never hurt my son, but it was a thought. Finally around 19 months, he slept 4 hours, then 5, then through the night with a nap during the day. His daytime napping had always been 5-30 minutes, and I felt stretched to the limit, especially since he didn't sleep at night either.

Then, moved to the Bay Area when he was one, and the stress of the move plus him not sleeping was just awful. Finally, I took a hard look at myself when he was 16 months old, and realized I didn't like myself very much. I called one of my midwives and had a long talk with her, and I got help. I see a psychiatrist who talked through my options with me, and we decided that Zoloft would be best for me. He also told me that my birth control (progesterone only) had been shown to contribute to PPD. I stopped taking it that day and within a couple of days was already feeling better. The meds saved me, I think.

I now have 3 kids, and my boys are my bookends to a little girl who tries my patience every day. I LOVE my kids! I get such great joy and frustration out of them. They are 7.5, 4.5, and 3.5 months. It's hard, and my youngest is an odd sleeper (he also has a mild tongue tie that isn't really affecting breastfeeding). Some days, he'll sleep 5-30 minutes while others he takes 3-hour naps, and it's hard with the other 2. I had days when I would cry and plead for him to sleep and wondered if I was headed for PPD again (I never had it with my daughter, who coincidentally did not have tongue tie).

What you're going through is common and quite normal!! His feeding sounds typical for a 5 week old, but as a breastfeeding peer counselor with Nursing Mothers Counsel (a FREE breastfeeding resource), I have to ask: who evaluated him for tongue tie? And who assessed his latch? Even if you aren't having nipple pain, there could still be a tongue tie, or there could be a palate issue where he may benefit from a nipple shield to help priced the oral stimulation he needs for effective milk transfer. There's so much more I would ask. Please feel free to email me G..kindberg at gmail.com if you'd like to work with one of our counselors, if you'd like more info about NMC or tongue tie, or just to vent and talk about things.

Either way, hang in there, mama. I promise it doesn't last forever!! Hugs!!

Okay. If you think you hurt him or might have hurt him please, PLEASE take him to the ER. Just to be safe.

I think that admitting you have PPD is a great step in the right direction BUT his needs are great and you are having sleep deprivation and so many other things going on.

You need a break. Can't dad help? Your mom? Your neighbor? A friend? Anyone that you know? If you can afford it can you hire an overnight sitter to come to your home and help all night so you can sleep all night for once?

Your body will go crazy without sleep, sleep deprivation is a serious debilitating situation.

Please please get help right away. Depression meds take time to build up in your system and if you're on the edge they won't help right now.

Ppd is not something to play around with.... And it is not something to feel ashamed of either. It is caused by a hormonal imbalance and is completely out of your control. It does not always show up immediately after birth, either. It can show up weeks or even months after baby is born. Realizing that you had an overly aggressive reaction to your frustration is great, because you can get yourself help... Or even just be aware that you are not always going to be able handle things in the best way.

And it is entirely possible that you don't have any kind of depression, and were just overwhelmed with dristration and sleep deprivation. Not a good combination. And it really sucks when there is nothing you can do about it.

My daughter was a very high maintainance newborn as well. She had reflux and colic, and had broken her clavicle during delivery. She never slept for more than an hour or two at a time, and when she was awake needed to be in constant movement or eating. When she did eat, she would nurse for 45 minutes to an hour and a half, only to fight with her reflux and vomit most of it back up (while I was eliminating things from my diet to figure out what was causing the issues...) and need to eat again after a short nap. My husband did his best to help, but was working long night shifts to make ends meet. We didn't have many friends or family around to help, or know anyone in the area to even get a referral to a helper. We were pretty much alone in caring for her 100% alone. I definitely had times when I felt overwhelmed. When I discussed these things with my OBGYN at my postpartum checkup, she told me that the best thing I could do when I felt like I couldn't handle things any more was to put baby down somewhere safe, and walk away for a minute or two. Letting the baby cry is far preferable to potentially snapping and doing something that could have potentially deadly repurcuassions.

Also... My DD was a horrible sleeper too. I found that sleeping in her bouncy seat worked better than swings, rocking, and even holding her. I would turn on the vibration, then get her bouncing pretty quickly. (NOT fast enough to be dangerous, but definitely faster than most newborns prefer.) she would fall asleep like that, and I would doze with my arm hanging off the couch keeping it going. She slept in that thing until she was around 3 months old, and grew out of the worst of her reflux. (Though, by then she didn't need to bounce so much.)

Did the ER prescribe medication for you for the PPD? If not, please go see your dr. immediately.

The next time the baby is crying for a long period and you feel frustrated, lay him in his crib and go vacuum. He'll be safe in there, and the sound of the vacuum might even lull him to sleep.

Or put him in his car seat and go for a drive. My babies would always fall asleep in the car. Or if it's not too hot, a stroller ride.

Best wishes! This too shall pass!

You did the right thing to make sure he's okay and to get help for yourself. I do want to say that my kids have brought out every emotion in me and made me angrier than I ever thought possible. I'm usually a very mild mannered, sweet natured, happy gal, but those little ones can really push buttons. You will feel angry, but you can manage that by putting your baby down in his crib and taking a break - even if the baby is crying. It's okay for them to cry while you shut the door, put on the headphones and rest and take some deep breaths, eat a snack, have some tea. You are human and need breaks. When you are feeling better, you can head back in with a smile and pick that sweet one up with love. You are important and need to take care of yourself and your emotional needs. Even as they grow, expect to take mommy time outs and head to a quiet, cool down place. I still need to tell my kids I need a break and I head into my room and join them when I'm feeling myself again. It usually only take 5-10 min before I'm feeling great and can handle them. Now that they are older, I don't have to do that as often, but they still understand when I tell them I need some cool down time. :) They do the same thing now and I have taught them that they can take a few moments in their rooms to cool down if they are upset.

Ok, take a breath. Breathe! You are NOT alone! You are not the first mom to have to deal with this, but you need help! You need to make sure your husband really truly understands how hard this is on you. I have a feeling that he really doesn't, or you would have more information about how he helps you.

I had 2 of these kids. I sat on the couch and bounced them on my knee through the ENTIRE series of the Gilmore Girls for the first one and through countless episodes of Sesame Street with the 2nd one. For 5 freaking months with each one, I ate on the couch, I dozed on the couch, I sat on the couch, I walked with the baby, I swaddled, unswaddled, I swung, I sang, I went round and round, and ended up in the therapist's office. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

There are some tricks that you can do to make it more tolerable.

1. You may need to stop breast feeding, or at least pump so that you don't have to be so "on demand". Both of my high needs (HN) kiddos were allergic to mine, so I ended up on Alimentum a hypo-allergenic formula. Are you eating milk/dairy or soy? These can be triggers for allergies. In the milk it is usually the protein, not the lactose sugar that causes this much crying. (Oh, the formula can be given to you free with a prescription at WIC).

2. He may be colicky, which lots of times means he has Reflux. Ask the doctor to consider this. Generally they start with Zantac, and move on to Prevacid if it isn't enough. Some doctors will also use a medicine called Reglan, but that has a lot of "issues" so I wouldn't use it myself.

3. Use your infant car seat as a swing, or take him for a drive. Also if he has colic or reflux this is at the ideal angle of over 30 degrees to help with the acid burn. Often time it is an immature esophagus that doesn't close all the way at the top of the throat.

4. I had the best luck with a Graco Sweet Peace Soother. This is a swing that you can use the seat it comes with, but also the infant seat, so that the baby can feel like he is in the car moving when he is at home. Its wonderful for if your kiddo falls asleep in the car and you want to keep him asleep, just pop the infant carseat on from the car and it keeps moving. This is the ONLY way I got sleep. I actually think it should be mandatory for all new moms. I have given away all my baby stuff but this because I just couldn't handle another kid without it! Not planning any more, but things can happen.

5. You need to be able to use a bottle for your own sanity. My kids would only use the Playtex Drop-ins, with Latex nipples, the silicone was too stiff for them and they couldn't latch. The "continuous flow" ones never stopped, so the baby can't take a breath, and I didn't like that at all. Also, with the drop ins you can squish all the air out so that there isn't any extra air going in.

6. Are you sure he isn't hungry? you didn't say how he was growing. My kids didn't have any tongue tie issues that were ever diagnosed, and the lactation people said it was fine...latch, suck, etc.. but neither one ever really got the hang of breastfeeding. Hungry babies will cry all the time.

7. Get yourself to the doctor for some antidepressants. Even if you only need them for a few months, they can make a huge difference to get over this hurdle.

8. Try some gas drops and see if they can help. You never know.

9.Often you may need to feed less more often. We started with 1.5 oz every 90 minutes and moved up to 3 oz about 3 months, but I had a big guy. Unfortunately, you can't tell how much he is eating when you breastfeed, unless you weigh him everytime, which might be a good idea to see what he is really getting.

10. BINKY BINKY BINKY! buy one, buy three, find the one that works for HIM. Some kids like the rounded ones, but many others like the old fashioned round ones, again, latex nipple.

I am sure there are more things I could think of, but I am not thinking of them right now. You might have to be pushy with the doctor to check for the allergies or reflux. My first pediatrician didn't with my daughter and it was HELL! but we got a new one the 2nd time and it was night and day! He gave us the formula, the meds for reflux, and I think they made a huge difference.

Oh, look into Qigong Massage, it's really easy, but can really help. I am not sure how it works on newborns, I didn't find it until my son was 2, but it sure does work miracles now.

If you need more help, or just need to vent, please private message me and I will do all I can to help. Remember you are not alone, you are not the first mom to be here, and YES it is hard. Very very hard, but so worth it. You just have to demand help for yourself and your child.

Oh, look on Cragslist for a doula who is looking for practice and she may be able to help you for free as part of her schooling. It's worth a shot and how I got mine.

Blessings to you and your family!

Was his neck and head supported when you swung him around? If you spun quickly with him against your body I think he is fine but if you were holding him away from you with your arms straight in front of you I would have him checked out. If after you spun around he was inconsolable I would also recommend you have a doctor check him out. Better safe than sorry.

You have gotten some good advice, so I will just send you a hug!

ETA: I'm glad you have a husband. Since you mentioned nothing about him initially, it didn't seem that you had one. Now go get some help from the doctor for you so that you can feel better. Read about Brooke Shields, A.. She had post-partum depression. Women everywhere appreciated her honesty when she told the media about her struggles. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It IS something you cannot just "soldier on" with. You need medication and someone to help you cope. Get the help. I promise you that you will feel a ton better and it will be eaiser to handle the baby.

Original:
Are you married? Do you have a support system? If you don't, really think about if you can handle being a mother. There IS adoption if you cannot trust yourself with this child. A foster family situation may be something you could consider while you work on your mental health.