Help Getting 4-Month Old to Sleep

I highly recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Also, with both of my children I had to teach them to fall asleep under conditions that they could recreate on their own in the middle of the night - no pacifier, no rocking, no holding, ect. It involves some crying, but usually for no more than 3 days. Good luck!

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Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It is based on over 30 years of infant and child sleep research. At 6 months our baby slept great through the night (10-12 hours) but had no interest in developing any sort of nap schedule. He too, would only nap for 30-45 mins, but sleep great if I was holding him. Knowing that he would be going to daycare and realizing how crucial sleep was to his development, I had to do something (because I knew no one in daycare or in-home could sit and hold him for hours on end while he slept).

Within 3 days of using the techniques in the book, he adopted a routine of waking around 6:00 - 6:30, napping at 9:00 until 10:30, napping at 1:00 - 3:00/3:30, and going to bed around 6:30/6:45. I was surprised that things would fall into place so quickly, but once I started respecting his natural body clock and need to rest, we were both happier.

Some people love the book and others hate it. However, it sounds like you're really searching for something that works. Read it, and if you think it is something that would work for you, then give it an honest try.

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D.,

With regard to your guy waking so often...is he hungry? Are you formula or breast feeding? How is his temperment when he is awake? Content or fussy?

I also have 2 boys - a 2.5 y/o and a 3.5 month old. Our first son had colic. It was terrible. After many, many sleepless nights and constant waking, we finally established a schedule and stuck to it...every single day. For Jacob (2.5 y/o) it was bath, bottle, bed every night. We called it the "3 B's". He loved the bath and was comforted by it. I loaded him up with baby lotion, put him in his PJ's and sleep-sack and gave him a bottle of expressed BM right before bed. By 4 months he was sleeping from 8:30pm - 4:00am. He'd wake for a feeding and be back to sleep until about 6:30am.

When Ryan was born this past August, we started the same routine as soon as possible with him except that I actually nurse him before bed rather than a bottle. He's been sleeping from 9:00pm - 4:00am since about 10 weeks. When he hits a growth spurt, he'll wake at about 1AM for a feeding for a couple of days but then it's back to the 9-4 routine.

Even now, Jacob thrives on his night time schedule and he's a great sleeper. At 7pm he gets a bath, brushes teeth, picks 3 books and by 8pm it's off to bed to be sung to and tucked in. We don't hear from him until about 7am the next morning.

I, personally, have never been a fan of crying it out OR co-sleeping. My boys have been in their own bed/crib since about 3 weeks old. We have soft instrumental music playing in Jacob's room as that seemed to calm him. Also, Jacob was calmed by his pacifier. Ryan takes it at night, but not 1/2 as much as his older brother. I was 100% against them until I had our colicky son and it helped soothe him.

Good luck,

T.

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I agree that the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby book by Weissbluth is EXCELLENT!! I'd say 2 things. Swaddle him as tight as you can (I know it's hard at 4 months) if he's still sleeping on his back. Simply put, this is because they sleep better when they feel cozy and secure. Sleeping on the back makes it more likely that they will startle themselves awake and it's not a natural feel of security...as their front is against you or cuddled up when being held, so they feel comforted like that when sleeping. And schedule...you didn't say what the schedule you've tried is. With a developmentally appropriate schedule, your baby will surely get restful sleep, as it trains the baby to get quality sleep so they are not overtired when trying to sleep. Keep in mind that sleep while being held does not allow for that restful REM sleep, though I realize you don't prefer that route anyway. :) Before sleeping through the night consistently, we stuck to a 3 hour schedule, so it looked something like this...
6am wake and eat
7:30-9am down for a nap
9am (wake if needed and) eat
10:30-noon down for a nap
noon (wake if needed and) eat
1:30-3pm down for a nap
3pm (wake if needed and) eat
4:30-6pm down for a nap
6pm (wake if needed and) eat
7:30-9pm down for a nap
9pm (wake if needed and) eat
10:30 feed final meal before bed and to bed for the night
feed only as demanded in the night

Once your baby is consistently sleeping through the night, signs of being able to go to a four hour schedule would be consistently needing to wake baby for feedings and not being so interested in eating when it is time. That is when it is time to stretch to a 4 hour schedule. Nap time is halfway between the start of feedings regardless of how "tired" the baby looks to be. Once baby shows signs of sleepiness, they are overtired and it becomes harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep, so it becomes a tough cycle to break. Typically when you lay the baby down when settled into the schedule, he will be alert and content, but then when laid down, he will also drift to sleep quickly because his body is used to the routine. My first son (now 3.5) took to the schedule really easily. My second son (2 years now) took a little longer to get adjusted to the routine as he was not that great of a sleeper naturally, but he turned into an EXCELLENT sleeper, though a light sleeper still. Within a couple weeks at least, he should be used to the schedule and follow it pretty much himself. Somebody mentioned to read child development books because it is normal for a 4 month old to wake 2-3 times a night. I have a degree in early childhood, a degree in psychology, have worked with kids for years, have 2 of my own, have read many baby books and completely disagree. I guess it depends on what books you read. It's not uncommon, but it is not normal and healthy either...a 4 month old is surely capable of sleeping through the night. A routine helps to encourage it. You are doing well in trying to encourage healthy sleep! :) Feel free to write back with any other questions about it or anything. :)

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Hi D.,

Another recommendation for Dr. Weissbluth's book. We followed it and our daughter sleeps like an angel. Also, there are approaches that don't involve crying (although the "training" will take longer) so if you do not want to go that route you don't have to.

We started "sleep training" at 4 months and it involves only allowing waking at night every 4 hours so you will still have some night waking. As others said, he's an infant so it's to be expected, but the training eliminates too much night waking and allows for more restorative sleep. If you have any specific questions, feel free to respond, but def check out the book. It will also offer guidance on naps (I think at 4 months he should have no longer than 2 hours of wakefulness at a time, but you will want to confirm that with the book).

Good luck!
C.

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