Close the Door!

Get him one of those lamps that projects the stars on the ceiling and walls. They have ones that rotate too. It will be enough to light up the room a little but not enough to keep him up. Also they are soothing and will give him something to look at while he falls asleep. Tell him the lamp only works if the door is shut lol.

Good luck.

Well, you are making bedtime a battle and he is taking you up on the offer. Turn the lights down, help him go to bed, he needs the one on one time to transition and fall asleep. He cannot be expected to fall asleep on command.

Go in, sit on the bed, read a couple of books, have a routine, let him brush his teeth, get a drink, etc...then sit with him until he is out. Then you can have your time. Help him go to sleep and stop making it a battle.

When my daughter was younger I would have battles like this. I found that if I turned off the lights, put on some soft music, read to her, just acted as if I was going to sleep too, then she would be out quickly and I could do whatever I wanted.

When you say you "have" to close the door and he is scared that tells me it might be a battle but it is one that will backfire on you. If he is even thinking about being scared and is telling you he is then he is internalizing that and it is torture for him to be in there with the door closed. Why do that to him just so you can have an hour alone. Take the time to help him transition and go to sleep and you'll have a much happier child.

Maybe buy him a flashlight and even the lava lamp or something else bright..... Turn on some white noise....Close his door and get in bed with him....talk about things that might frighten him.... Explain any weird shadows .... Maybe even move things that make weird shadows (my 5 yr old can't sleep with coats hanging on his coat rack behind his door because the shadows are too weird).....

Talk to him about why his body and brain need sleep.... Explain that he is not getting enough and needs to go to bed.

Try the baby moniter so he knows he can call you
if he really gets scared

Then, make a sticker chart and when he does what he needs to do for a certain number of nights (earns enough stickers) he earns an awesome prize! Let him think of the prize so you know it is something he really wants.

I would also let him know that you will open the
door before you go to bed.

Good luck.

Lava lamp. That's what helps in our house. If you get the larger ones from Spencers they are bright enough to light up the whole room, but not too bright that it will disrupt sleep.

If I don't close DD's door, the cat goes in and wakes her up. I tell her that the door has to be closed to keep the cat out. We do a "monster check" and I tuck her in tight with her nightlight and her teddy bear. Most nights she does pretty well. I turn her big light on for a set duration (10 minutes, set a timer) if she's really not staying put and usually by the time I turn the light off, she's out.

The "i'm scared" thing is for attention. Not sure why the door HAS to be shut, but I think that is the REAL issue for him. The door being closed to him probably makes him feel alone, not scared. Maybe leaving the door 'cracked' a bit. Good Luck

Get him all the "tools" to fight a fear of the dark-- night light/lava lamp, comforting white noise etc, then shut the door. If he gets up instead of fighting with him give him a choice-- go back to bed or scrub the toilet or something else "fun" make him WORK alongside you and bed with the door shut will seem a lot more pleasant!

Sounds like your son just needs to be near you...scared of the dark and he has a night light? It's an excuse to be near you.

I don't know what your bed time routine is - ours is bath, brush, book, bed. So they take a shower instead of a bath - but it's still the routine. Spend a few minutes reading to him or with him...we also make sure there is NO electronics (XBOX, Game Boy, DS, TV or Computer) 30 minutes prior to bed time - I can't tell you the difference that has made!

Let him talk with you about why he is scared. Right now it's just an excuse to get closer to you. So instead of getting mad - which I TOTALLY get, talk with him about his fears. Don't make this a fight. It doesn't need to be. Take a few minutes for him each night. Don't get mad or frustrated. I KNOW you need your "your" time. But you will get it when you spend a few extra minutes talking or reading to him. Take the deep breath and remember he's only 6.

Good luck!

Oddly my son will NOT even lay down if the door is open and wants it dark. He's a freak of nature.

My dad was a fire fighter and I CAN'T go to bed with the door open even a crack. We were raised to close our doors in case of a fire.

You may want to play off that. I'm guessing he's already been visited by a fire fighter at school and remind him they they say to close the door at night. Put it on the BRAVE fire fighter to be "the bad guy/girl."

would it work if you told him you'd open the door after he went to sleep, i.e. you go to bed? my mom never closed our doors growing up & i loved that. but...i'm a single mom and like you, girl, i gotta close that door. i kinda feel bad like i'm closing him off, but everything else i agree on! i don't want him waking up, getting up, etc. go to bed so i can have a smidgeon of ME time, lol.
idk, worth a try. he's old enough to understand you're right there, always there when he needs you, and you'll open the door when you go to bed. i THINK that would work for my boy, but not sure. good luck though!

Before he goes down read to him
Put some music on. Ger a little kid's cd player. Teach him how to use it. ONly use soft music, my girls liked a harp cd from Naturescapes and the Narnia cd.
Reward him in the morning for staying in bed all night.
projection nitelites., some show aquarium scenes, spongeBob, Planets $10 at Lowe's
there are also projection lights that are more expensive, they show the solar system
Glow in the dark planets and stars
My son has a lava lamp , actually two, he's 10
All of them had flashlites that turned off by themselves
Make sure to open his door after he falls asleep.
Dark curtains to shut out any lights from outside. My son was afraid of the trees for a long time, until we moved last year, so he was 9 and I still had to make sure the blinds were shut tight.
Tell him exactly what you are doing
Don't put any loud tv shows on, play soft music in the house

So is the closed door the issue or the fact that he takes so long to go to bed? Would he go to sleep right away if the door were open and he wasn't scared?

If the closed door is the issue, I would try sitting with him in his room until he fell asleep, and then slowly decreasing the amount of time you spend with him in his room. That way, you "ease" his fear (if that's what's keeping him awake) and eventually he'll decide that he can go to sleep on his own.
Granted, my daughter is only 2, but lava lamps and whirling stars would only keep her distracted.

If he takes hours to fall asleep regardless, and is just using the closed door as an excuse, I would take another look at your bedtime routine (lots of good ideas below). Maybe he's like my daughter and needs to burn off some energy before bedtime? What time are you putting him to bed? What time does he get up?

Yep, that's what you do. Tell him no more open door because he is not going to bed like he is supposed to be doing. I'll bet you have a devil of a time getting him up in the morning to get to school, too, don't you.

No more Mama nice guy. It's done. The scared thing is an excuse to get to do what he wants. I would start taking his toys out of his room a little at a time every night when he does battle with you, and tell him that he can earn them back when he complies with going to bed. Keep the monitor on so that you know what he is doing.

Tell him once every night what the drill is. And then no more talk. He is too old for this.

Dawn

I get it! We have always closed the bedroom doors. I read once upon a time that closed doors were safer in case of a fire. The smoke from other rooms on fire take longer to get to the closed bedrooms (or so I understand).

Do you run a fan or other device that has white noise? This also helps our kiddos go to bed while we are still up and moving about the house (or the dog barks, dishwasher cycles, etc.).

Maybe do some research about kids being scared of the dark and go from there as far as talking to him about that. You know him the best. Is he really scared or using that as a ploy?

Good luck!!!