Body Image in the Way of Weight Loss/better Self-care?

If you are looking for a free support group, try Alanon? I know it is differnt, but the bottom line is it teaches you to let go of the anger and people you can talk to.

Weight watchers is a great way to lose weight, the right way where you don;t put it back on, unless you go back to old bad habits.

Good luck.

What do you need therapy for? If you are still upset over the issues you had as a teen - your medical insurance should cover therapy. Otherwise? Write a journal, getting all of your angst out. Can you go back and change it? No. Can you confront your molester? If so - do. Get it off your chest. Then leave it behind you. You cannot carry this baggage with you forever. Stop being a victim and start living.

Go to your doctor and ask to talk to a nutritionist. You might not be eating the right foods for you to lose the weight you want. Doing Zumba 2x per week - is great exercise!!!

You can do this. you are NOT stuck behind the weight.

You could try The Work by Byron Katie at www.thework.com. She supports you in becoming aware of and questioning the thoughts you may be having about your body and the world in relation to your body. If your are "hiding" there are certain thoughts you are having that you may not be aware of that are causing the fears that are behind your need to hide. You can download the worksheets for free and listen to her audios and watch the videos to know how to do the work.

Weight loss is a simple matter of calories in vs. calories out. There's really no magic to it. You need to eat less.

Track everything that goes in your mouth. Everything. Even coffees. (And yes, ditch the soda.) There's a nice app if you have an iPhone called Calorie Count that I've lived by. It's helped me drop 20 lbs.

You need a deficit of 3500 calories/week to lose a pound. At your height and weight, to lose, you should aim for about 1500 calories/day...on top of your exercise.

So once you know what you're eating each day after tracking it...start looking at what you eat every day, and make adjustments. It really is that simple. Initially you don't need to worry about what you're eating. You'll drive yourself mad with that. Just eat fewer calories. Once you get the hang of it and your hunger tapers off, you'll start figuring out what keeps you fuller for longer.

Good luck!

You can get the weight off at your age, but to be honest, Zumba two times per week with a little weights won't do it. It's great, and you should keep doing that, but unless you live in a big city and walk everywhere at a fast pace and have a very physically active life outside of the gym, that's not enough exercise. I'm 43 and I do three zumbas per week and try to fit in some other class as well like bodycombat or yoga too just to maintain. I would walk or jog regularly to negate need for so many classes, but I have my kids all the time and they're too small to keep up so I use gym daycare.

Whenever I need to lose weight, I cut my already low calories and work out even more. Like, yoga DVDs four days per week before anyone wakes up and then my regular gym classes evenings plus I try to fit in some sort of walk or active play at a park with kids-again, all while cutting calories. The key is maintaining a good weight, because LOSING is SOOOOO hard.

I eat 75% raw fruit and veggies with the rest being healthy carbs. No sweets except rare dark chocolate, no meat-I also cut dairy. It's easier for me to eat unlimited amounts of healthy food than to restrict calories, but some people prefer keeping some bad foods but counting calories-either will work.

This all sounds really hard, but it's not once you're in the zone. Also, I'm big boned, so at 5'9" I weigh 160. At my slimmest I weigh 155, so you might not have THAT much to lose depending on your frame. As for your "hiding in your body"...I'm not sure how that works. I think if you lost weight you would feel good about it, and so would your husband, so it may be more about having a hard time doing it...I know when I have a belly and I start to gain weight I HATE MYSELF IN EVERY way and I don't even want to leve the house because my clothes don't fit right... When I'm in shape life is so much easier to run out and do things without a gut spilling over..you MAY be having a hiding issue, but like you said, if you can't afford therapy-just carry on and try to push past that. You can do it!

I'd add one more zumba and weights per week for starters and see what else you can add to burn some more weight off. Stop with the soda! Could you deal with the Schweppes flavored sparkling seltzer waters? Those are carbonated and refreshing. You could have a real soda once in a blue moon for a treat. I used to drink a glass of wine almost every night and I swapped it for herbal tea and now it's very rare that I drink wine. I thought it would be so much harder to give up that yummy treat but it has been fine. You can cut the soda!

Some therapists work on a sliding scale, or if you or your hubby have insurance that usually covers it too.

Food/weight issues are just symptoms of underlying issues that you already identified. A therapist would do wonders in terms of getting them out there in a safe environment. Once the focus is on the real issue, the weight/food seem to work themselves out.

Good luck on your journey.

Join the Facebook group called Eat The Food!

I did Weight Watchers and reached my goal weight this past October (I lost 35 lbs.). Since I am feeling better about myself, I am wearing more form fitting clothes. However, my body isn't the best.... I lost all my boobs (I have absolutely nothing now especially since I lost the weight a bit after I stopped breastfeeding my daughter - I am sucked dry!) and my upper body is real thin and my lower body is bigger, and jiggly) So.... I try to wear clothes that make me feel comfortable and look good on me. Like, I won't wear shorts outside the house (I have leg veins too) so I wear capris or long bermuda shorts. But, I found that as a SAHM, you can get in that 'comfy' routine and not take care of yourself. Since I have a 2 year old daughter (and a 5 y.o. son too) that I love to dress up, I try to make a point to at least look nice since she does too. It's amazing how much better you feel about yourself when you put some effort into dressing and putting on a bit of makeup (not a lot, just a bit). If you can afford Weight Watchers, I highly recommend. I never thought I ate bad, but I realized that I was eating so many carbs and too much process foods. I do feel better eating less carbs and more protein and eating more fruits (which I never ate enough of or hardly at all). I feel more in control know because I am aware of what I eat and if I go overboard on a day, I know what to do to get myself back on track and I am not depriving myself at all.

First of all, no molestation is "minor." Understand that first and deal with how that has affected your personal view of your body and how you feel when you're with your spouse. I dealt with that for years after being "date raped". It is a big deal and will have tremendous impact on how you feel in your own skin and how you relate sexually to your husband. Fortunately, I have an amazing hubby who stood by me and walked through the painful journey of healing and understanding and accepting what happened and how it effected me and us. I hid in my own skin for YEARS and still struggle, but our entire marriage has changed for the better. we both understand what I went through and how it still affects me.

Reading the Bible was all I needed for self help. I didn't pay for expensive therapy, or diets. I read my Bible daily and asked God questions while I read. That may not be the answer for you, but I got everything I needed, then some. I'm still not happy with my weight, but I know what I need to do about it and mentally I'm better than I've ever been. and, that is more important now because I have two daughters to raise with healthy body images! Best of luck to you on your journey. I will pray for healing and understanding.

It's the combination of snacking and exercise.
The exercise stimulates your appetite, and it's WAY too easy to eat more calories than you burn off.
A good walk will burn off maybe 300 calories and then you reward yourself with a 600 calorie muffin.
Use a food diary (MyFitnessPal or SparkPeople are both free and good) and count the calories you consume so you can see where you are doing yourself in.
I'm moderately active and eating no more than 1200 calories per day (as per my doctor) and I've lost 52 lbs since Thanksgiving.
Losing 2 - 3 lbs per week (or roughly 10 lbs per month) will have you at your goal by August.

Hey -
Honestly losing weight at this age is difficult. It's work. I think Amy J hits the nail on the head - you have to WORK at it. When I was in my early 30's, I got really serious about losing weight. I did serious/heavy duty aerobics 4 days a week and I did Weight Watchers. It took my about 6 months to lose 30 lbs. Of course, since then, I have had two babies and slowly let the weight creep back up. So, I am nearly the weight I was when I started way back when. Now, I'm 43 and I too have decided to get serious about it. I am not going to do aerobics like that 4 days a week - I don't have the time or the energy. So, I am doing what I can at home, but I KNOW it is not the same as doing aerobics. I am having to be a LOT more serious about calorie intake. And honestly, I have just been eating too much. Now that I am following a guideline, the amount of food I consume is drastically different than what I was consuming. Plus, I am upping the veggie/fruit/salad intake.

Just FYI, when I was on weight watcher's, I was allowed 26 points a day (this was prior to the new point's plus program) and a soda was 5 pts! I made a pledge right then and there to not drink any of my points. I do drink diet soda's - which are zero points (or were on the old system). So, I still drink diet sodas (I find Diet Dr. Pepper to have the best flavor).

I also read an article recently that said women in their 40's need to work out 45 minutes a day just to MAINTAIN their current weight. SCARY.

Good luck!
L.