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Just talk with her about it and ask her.
Otherwise you will not have any answers to it.
Why not just save yourself the stress and hurt by asking her?
If you are best friends and so close its sad that you cant be honest with each other. She might have a perfectly good reason for not inviting you, and then again there might not be. Either way you have to ask her. Its the only way you are going to feel okay again.
If it is about that old High School friend then tell her that you can and will be civil and its sad that she thought that you wouldnt be. Tell her your feelings are hurt and that you hope that you can get past this, and that you are still friends.
It would be a shame if your close friendship got thrown away because neither one of you made the initiative to talk and put it in the open.
Go talk to her, and ask her what is going on.
Is it possible the invitation was lost in the mail and SHE is wondering why you did not attend?
Maybe you are both being so polite, you are not communicating?
I would out an out ask her about it. If you are that good of friends you should be able to speak with each other about anything any time.. Without worrying about it hurting the friendship.
Mention, hey, I noticed that shower invite on your fridge. Was there a reason I was not invited, I hope I did not upset someone..
You have to talk to her. If she's your best friend, then there shouldn't be any subject that you can't discuss with her. Just tell her that you saw the invitation and you are hurt that you weren't invited. Ask what's going on. You don't have to be accusatory. After all, she's probably not the one that planned the shower. Maybe it's a family only shower. You don't know unless you ask!
Yes, it is possible to have a best friend that excludes you. However, there might have been good reasons. My baby shower was immediate family only, no friends at all. I imagine if my best friend had seen the invitation, that she would have been hurt. It could have been a baby shower someone else hosted and only so many people are invited. She could be having another shower, that you will be invited to. Listen, you can't get melodramatic and start puking on the side of the road, without some facts!! The truth is you DON'T know her reasons, feelings, and situation...until you ask. You are speculating the end of your friendship, and have no grounds to believe the friendship is over. It's a baby shower. Some people don't find them to be a big deal. I sure didn't. You need to talk to her, instead of stewing over the perceived demise if your friendship.
Do you have other friends and family you are close with? It seems a lot of energy is placed in this one relationship, I wonder if you aren't lacking real relationships outside of her?
Is the baby shower passed?? Maybe you were invited, but it was lost in the mail? When feelings are hurt, sometimes you read more into things then are really there. "FEELINGS ARE REAL, JUST NOT ALWAYS TRUE"
If it was passed, you really need to address it with your friend. Not in a mean get back at her attitude, but a sincere truth. Get to the bottom of the confusion. Hope your relationship with your friend connect the way it was! :-)
There could be any number of reasons why you were not invited and you will never know what they are unless you ask. She may not like many of the people there, she may be having more than one, she might not have had control of the invites, she may have considered the lunch/gift/night over as more important than the shower because it was a more intimate event.
If you don't ask, you will just harbor ill will and could lose a freindship. It is possible there is something wrong but not asking won't fix that either.
the only way to resolve this is to communicate - as you would with anyone else....
I'm sorry that this has happened. I truly am - but you are not in high school anymore and you are a grown woman...so instead of ignoring it - address it...tell her you saw the invitation and how you are feeling...
Again - the only way to resolve it and find out what is going on is to communicate to HER!!!
You CAN do it!!! I hope it's a misunderstanding...I hope you will be able to move past this and enjoy the friendship again!!
I'm so sorry! :( No excuses will make it better or probably will make your pain go away but have you sat down and talked with her about why you weren't invited and asked her what you could of possibly done wrong. ( Although I doubt it was something like that!) Or maybe the invite got lost in mail or she forgot to mail. I don't know...That's all I can think of. :(
I had the opposite situation with my best friend. I invited her to my baby shower and she never showed up or anything. That same included when came to my bridal shower. Never bought gifts for either occasion (not that I was out for that obviously.) and when she was my maid of honor since made her that before bridal shower came and didn't want to boot her and have to make someone else her title, she didn't do anything but help pick out the style of bridesmaid dresses and wasn't there much but for a presence for actual day and I had another bridesmaid do the toast since she didn't "want' to do it. (no joke)
Her and i haven't been as close since although i do still talk to her yet. I don't know sometimes why but I do. I have no other advice for you but wanted to let you know that although my story is opposite of yours, that I understand and kinda know how you feel. Even need to talk or vent feel free to message me!
I understand your friendship unlike some of the others on here. I pretty much grew up my with my best friend. We were like family- just like you and yours. I'm sure you have other friends (as do I) but no one can replace her or what you two have, so of course you put a lot of energy into your friendship!
Friends from 12-29yrs, I think you should talk to her, let her know how you feel. She could have put it on the table expecting to mail it and never did. She could have thought she didn't need to "invite" you because you are already "expected" to come...you send invitations to people you don't usually know that well, so you will not know for sure unless you ask.
She invited you to her house, surely means she still considers you her best friend...
Talk to her and tell her how you feel.
Don't tell us tell her. If this is your best friend you should be able to say anything to her. Call her and tell her how hurt you are.
perhaps she doesn't want to appear grabby by having you give 2 gifts?
I would just call and say "hey, you are about due and was wondering if you're having a shower as i'd love to attend" and see what she says. Maybe you got an invite sent to you but it was lost in the mail? If she says anything other than "OMG, I sent out invites a week ago, you should have gotten it by now!!" then you have a problem. I would then wait until after the baby was born and call her out on it. Say something like, I don't understand why I would not have been invited and it really hurt my feelings. You should be able to be honest with her. Then take it from there but be prepared that you may need to change your beneficiary on everything as she may not be the friend you thought she was. Good luck!
She's your best bud, ask her what's up. Don't sit and analyze it to death and come up with your own crazy scenarios, call her and ask her right now. There has to be a rational reason to it all.
Ask her. I can think of a million good reasons you were not invited including the fact that it was family only. I have had occasions like that where my families behavior and/or personal needs dictated that I NOT invite others out of respect for the people outside of my family. I cannot imagine that this is a way anyone would want to get rid of a friend of 17 years. Also try to cut her some slack if this really is an oversight. I stopped at 2 kids because of how profoundly forgetful I got with each pregnancy
A similar thing happened to me when I was in college. My "best" friend handed out invitations to some people whose addresses she didn't have in one of our classes. I assumed mine would come in the mail. It didn't and I was so hurt. I didn't buy her a wedding gift.
Our friendship continued for many years after. I should have asked her about it at the time. The invitation was probably lost in the mail. She was probably also hurt because I didn't show up or buy her a gift.
So get up the nerve and ask!
I'm sorry you feel that way, but wow, you're such a "girl" as my husband would say. If I saw it, I would probably wait until I could be cool about it, but then just say "Hey, this may or may not be stupid, but it's bothering me and I just want to make sure that we're still good, or if I've offended someone, because I noticed that invitation and didn't get one. Your friendship means a lot to me and I don't want all my "what if's" to mess that up."
I had a friend who I love very much just blurt out something over lunch one day, a strange request but it regarded something that was hurtful to her. I didn't realize it was hurtful to her, and fixed the situation immediately. Noone wants to hurt their friends. It might be awkward (ours was regarding an old friend from 20 years ago that hurt my friend badly, but I didn't know it was still an issue after all those years...). Just be honest and nonconfrontational and get it dealt with. A 29 year relationship is worth WAY more than a stupid baby shower. (I detest all showers anyway, lol).
Okay, so I understand being hurt, but what I don't understand is if you are SUCH great friends, why wouldn't you just be honest & open & tell her your feelings are hurt & ask her what's going on?
The truth is that you have NO idea what happened & will not know until you ask her. Don't brush it under the rug. Her response will dictate what type of friend she really is.