Today I was approached by a homeless man in a store parking lot. To be honest I was bit scared. I was alone with my young daughter, and there weren't many people around. He asked if had anything to spare and as a first reaction I told him no. He asked where the highway was and I told him. As he walked away I felt ashamed. I had twenty dollars with me, that money meant a lot to me, but I thought how much more would it mean to him? I watched him through my windshield as he approached someone else, he was again turned away. I sat there in indecision, then just like someone had whispered it to me, this came to my mind, "I was hungry and you feed me.." I often talk about how we should have more compassion to one another, yet here I was given the opportunity, and I had turned it away. Was today going to be the day I practiced what I preached?
It was.
I wrote this and put in on my Facebook. To my surprise, I got an email from a friend admonishing me for putting my child in danger by even talking to this man. When I went to give the man the money, I only rolled down my window enough to pass it to him, kept the doors locked and the engine running. If he had tried to do anything I could have hit the gas. Was I wrong to do this?
You did the right thing. :)
Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers....
As to the people shouting "enabling, etc" the RIGHT thing is what YOU do with YOUR money for YOUR heartfelt reasons. Giving is a GOOD thing, what that individual chooses to do with that money once it is THEIRS is on them.
I just saw a special on this-how it is really not as nice as you think giving money to the homeless. You are enabling them to live that lifestyle. And possibly contributing to the addiction that put them there in the first place. What they said to do was contact a homeless shelter to tell them about the person.
alot of the beggars dress tacky and stuff like that usually get into fancy cars after their day of work is over cars that would put yours to shame. If you honestly think they need food buy some food in the grocery store and actually give them food. That way your not supporting a free loader and not denying your family food that they need. If they are actually hungry they will eat what you give them. That is usually what I will do. One time the guy wanted money I gave him food instead he ate all that I had given him in less than 2 minutes he was seriously hungry. But I am not going to pay for their fancy car while I drive one that is over 10 yrs old. they can get a real job instead of taking advantage of other peoples generosity.
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alot of the beggars dress tacky and stuff like that usually get into fancy cars after their day of work is over cars that would put yours to shame. If you honestly think they need food buy some food in the grocery store and actually give them food. That way your not supporting a free loader and not denying your family food that they need. If they are actually hungry they will eat what you give them. That is usually what I will do. One time the guy wanted money I gave him food instead he ate all that I had given him in less than 2 minutes he was seriously hungry. But I am not going to pay for their fancy car while I drive one that is over 10 yrs old. they can get a real job instead of taking advantage of other peoples generosity.
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alot of the beggars dress tacky and stuff like that usually get into fancy cars after their day of work is over cars that would put yours to shame. If you honestly think they need food buy some food in the grocery store and actually give them food. That way your not supporting a free loader and not denying your family food that they need. If they are actually hungry they will eat what you give them. That is usually what I will do. One time the guy wanted money I gave him food instead he ate all that I had given him in less than 2 minutes he was seriously hungry. But I am not going to pay for their fancy car while I drive one that is over 10 yrs old. they can get a real job instead of taking advantage of other peoples generosity.
no and you taught your child a good lesson, life is about risks and within reason we take them. I don't see what he could have done through an inch of car window, if he wanted to do something he would have done it the 1st tiem...
possible future solotion--Buy a 5 gift card to dunkin donuts or a local store and keep separate from ur money and then u can give them that instead of going through things in the future..i always go in and but a giftcard so i know they'll use it for food...but i just thought of that typing this and think i will do that from now on, saves time and ur always ready....
You did what your heart led you to do, and check it out, you and daughter are FINE. You did the right thing.
In a locked car, running, with the window barely cracked, I'd say it was okay. I often think of Jesus and God at those moments too!
When I was on a retreat in highschool, I can remember them telling us to imagine that someday we'll have to sit down with God and watch the "movie" of our life. Are there any times when you'll be embarrassed or ashamed when watching it with him? Those are the moments that I think, "What if I had to watch myself turn that man down with God sitting next to me?" Just be careful and cautious, as you were...
GOD BLESS YOU MAMA!! I am sitting here in tears! You are an amazing soul! Since I was a teen ager this was one of my strong emotion points. I will go in to the city and help out at our mission alot. I also used to love going down on any gievn night of the week with a pocket full of ones and change. I did this for the purpose of handing it out. I would go in a group, I understood fully going alone would be dangerous.
There has always been something in me that just felt I had this to give. I have met some of the most intriguing people. Most of them just want to give of themselves. They have so much in them to show, humor, love compassion. They may need a shower and shave or tooth brush. Just stopping to say hey you have not been forgotten and/or giving them money is a selfless thing to do.
Know if you are ever in a need for food or shelter you will not be left out in the cold, hungry.
You can never tell who is hiding underneath the surface of any piece of clothing. Yes, some have been under the dirt, Liars. But I always keep in my mind that the one I turn away may just be Jesus in homeless mans clothes. It is a risk of handing out my money I am willing to take. I also know that I am not in church every week to give offering. So I take this as offering.
I work in a rough neighborhood, where people come in to beg all the time! I feel for every single one of them, but I just can't give them money as I know 99% of them are going to spend it on booze or drugs. I've also witnessed someone begging for money outside a convenience store to only in return go in and buy a scratch off. (Also, keep in mind a food bank is right down the street) I have however have helped when I could. A guy wanted change for a five so he could ride the bus. According to him they don't give change, I've never road the bus here so I don't know whether that is true but I believed him. I did not have the change but asked how much the bus fair was and gave him that amount. He offered to give me the 5 but I refused.
I think what you did is great. I don't believe you were in harm. And whether he does good with the money or not, you'll never know.
But for me personally, I try to give to places I know will put the money to good use. Salvation Army, Food bank my church and so on.....that way I feel good about giving and know its going to good use.
But I don't think you were wrong nor should you feel bad about what you did. You did a wonderful thing!
I am with you - practice what you preach.
That $20 might get him meals for the day...I typically do not give cash - if there is a restaurant nearby - I go in and buy a gift card or pay for their meal and leave.
It's a TOTAL shame that we have to think so poorly of people - are they out to scam me? Are they out to hurt me? Could it be that the guy was down on his luck? Yep. Is it possible he meant you harm? Not all people are bad - just some and those that feel entitled to things that aren't earned by them - you know - the leeches, thieves, etc...they are ones who have ruined it for those who are truly down and out.
That being said - I have had my share of scams. I live near Washington, D.C. and worked there - there was a homeless vet that I gave money to weekly - he was missing for a few weeks and asked one of the other guys - come to find out this "homeless vet" was a millionaire and in Florida for the winter - needless to say - when he came back - I told him he should ashamed of himself for taking advantage of people that way - I NEVER gave him or any other "beggar" on the street money again....I give gift cards...I usually keep a few McDonald's $5.00 cards in my purse...
Your friend sent you a message admonishing you? WOW! I think I would be really offended if my friend truly thought I would purposely put my child in danger and saying it in a scathing message. SHEESH!!!!!
Back to what you did... No, you were not 'wrong' per se. You did what you felt in your heart was the right thing to do. Had you just driven away it would have been eating you up inside. If nothing else you set a good example for your daughter so just look at it that way. Helping others is never 'wrong' IMO.
Oh de-friend that friend... LOL! just kidding!
I don't think you put yourself or your daughter in danger. I DO think that it may have been a bigger lesson to your daughter if you went back into the grocery store and bought the man some food. Unfortunately a lot of people that are homeless and get money do not use the funds they receive appropriately. I am one of those people that is CONSTANTLY giving food to people I see that say they are hungry. I can't tell you the number of times they have said, "do you have any money instead?" hmmm...you said you were hungry though.
I bring my children with me when I volunteer at the food bank, they come with me when I go shopping for the food bank donations, we participate in Christmas toy drives...shoot, just last week I bought a man a meal because he told me he was hungry...and that was my last $5!!
Good job on helping someone out! I love the passage you are talking about in the Bible...when I was hungry you fed me, when I was cold you clothed me, when I needed shelter you gave me a place to stay (or close to that lol). I try to take that to heart as well.
Laura
Most homeless people are harmless. For some reason they fell into homelessness. Many are mentally ill and can't hold a job and have no family members to care for them. Many are substance abusers with such an extreem problem they can't work or afford rent and their fix. Instead of giving them money, hand them food. If there is a fast food place nearby get something off the dollar menu or hand them something you have in the car. If you hand them money they can use that money to get a fix and not buy food. If you hand them food and say I'm sorry but I'm struggling also but please take this so I know you have something to eat.
I read a static a while ago that about 70% of homeless women with children are running from an abusive relationship and by living on the streets they are less easy to find and are therefore safer.
You did a wonderful thing, don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.
I think in today's world we are so afraid of helping one another due to that fact of it starting to get scarier and scrier every moment. We can't let our kids play in the front yard unsupervised, or walk to the school that's only a block away unsupervised. Every homeless person that we see is a potential carjacker, mugger, serial killer, rapist, child molester, drug addicted, sex maniac. So what do we do? We run away due to what I have heard it called, "Law and Order Syndrome" . Afraid to do anything for fear of something horrible happening. Yes we need to take precautions to secure ourselves and family in any situation, check in with our gut feeling.
If you felt that you were okay and safe, then I think that you did the right thing. It's all about how you feel afterward. I wouldn't do it all the time, but I think that you showed your daughter compassion also. Isn't that what we wish all our kids learned is compssion for another person? I would have a discussion with your daughter regarding the events that happened and let her know that there are still bad people out there and that it is never okay to talk to strangers by herself or with someone her age. She should always be careful.
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I'm sure you already knew the possibility of this man using the money for booze or whatever, so deciding to take that chance just in case he used it for good instead is your business. I personally don't give money to homeless but certainly understand and appreciate those who do.
As far as your daughter is concerned, you did fine staying in the car, and the fact that you were on edge in the first place says that you have some good instincts. Here's what I would have probably done, just to hammer the point of safety. I would have approached one of the store managers (whichever was a guy and the biggest!) and asked him to give the money to this man. For two reasons- one, this shows your daughter that there are people who can help you when you need to avoid someone, and two, because the manager may likely give him the money and ask him to leave the premises. Frankly, it is not safe to have a homeless man wandering a parking lot and he should not be there. What if there were unsupervised kids around? This way, he gets some money and is on his way.
But you did fine, and did what your heart told you. So any criticism is about the other person, not you.
You were not wrong!!!! You did a great deed and don't think twice of it.... God gives us subtle hints and as long as we allow our minds to act on them, he will keep us safe. You knew to keep your doors locked and just crack the window... You didn't put yourself in harms way...
Kudos to you.. We need more people like you in this world~
PS for future reference- what myself and my friend do so that we KNOW the homeless HAVE to buy food, we buy 3.00 or 5.00 gift cards to a local fast food restaurant.. That way you know what your money is being used for.
When I see a homeless person in need (there are several who stand at a specific corner here who are known to be scammers who live in a nearby town...they get dropped off by a woman in a luxury SUV, they have a house, food, etc. but this is a way for them to make more money than if they had a job. They have even bragged online about how much money they make in a day) I buy them a meal instead of giving them money. If they are truly in dire straights they appreciate it. If they don't appreciate it then I assume they just want money for drugs or alcohol (which is sad in and of itself but I'm not going to help them satisfy their addiction). In my opinion you did the right thing to help out someone in need and you did not put your child in harm's way.
My husband works at the Rescue Mission, and he says that giving cash is not always the best to the unsheltered person(in case of addictions) .I have a friend who has a box in the car with:paper bags, plastic spoons/forks, cans with pop up lids, snacks and water bottle. Whenever she sees a person in need she has it ready.
For believers there is no choice to help or not to help.Good job !!!!!:)
Matthew 25:34-40 (New International Version)
34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37 "Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40 "The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'
I do not think you put your child in any danger the way you handled it.
I think we should follow our hearts, and I think you did something wonderful that not many would do. We never know what our one nice gesture can bring. I hope he used the money wisely, I do not look for the worst in people but sadly you hear about scams all the time.