I have a 14 year old son who is dying to T.P. (toilet paper) a friends house. He's asked me for permission. As a mom, I'm torn. I was allowed to do this when I was a teenager. He's asking for permission instead of sneaking around or out. Do I let him have some innocent fun and appreciate he asked first or tell him "no" as my husband's point of few is that it's vandalism. Although he feels that way, he really doesn't care either way. Any thoughts would really be appreciated.
Well, I'd research it some on the internet. Think about what could go wrong- could he get arrested for vandalism? Apparently there's a Texas law that allows the use of deadly force (shooting someone) at night only if the person feels threatened on their property. There are incidents of kids being shot while tp'ing someone's house because the homeowner thought the kids were trying to break in. Congrats to your son for asking before doing. I'd say weigh the possible consequences against his desire to play a prank.
I see no harm in it. but Tell him it's ok, but only if HE helps with the clean up. when I was a teen I told my mom what we were going to do to a friends. Well she called my friends parents and let them know they were in for a Tp house rolling, but did'nt know hen. they that it would be funny as long s we helped with the clean up. We had a blast doing it, and the next day my frined called and said they were having a cleaning up party. Of course mom said I had to go. When i got there there WAs a party. We cleaned up, had a cookout and pool party. If you know the partentcal and let them know they will be targeted but do'nt know when. Even say you will help out with a little party.
I've been surprised, that the teens and pre-teens on my block actually believe getting your house T.P.ed is a badge of honor - like only the cool kids get their house TP'ed. On the other hand, when a group of kids accidentally got the wrong house (couple with a newborn) it wasn't so funny.
Are you friends with this friend's parents? If so, I would ask them how they feel about it. Obviously, you still want it to be a surprise to the friend, but if the parents are OK with it, you don't have to worry about vandalism, legal issues, etc. They might also be able to distract their teen if they know when it's going to happen (and turn off their sprinkler, 'cause that makes the biggest mess).
If I were the parents, I would say yes, and appreciate your talking to me about it beforehand. I also would keep it quiet from my kids, so they could enjoy the surprise. You might also offer that your son and his other friends would help clean up afterwards.
Good Luck!
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Yes, it is harmless fun. My dad took my friends and I when I when I was a teen, and I took my children. It was FUN. When our house got tp'd, the kids loved it because someone thought enough of them to do it!
I think it is great that you were asked for "permission." Keep up the good parenting.
I love the idea of calling the parents first and appreciate you asking the question as I learned somthing from this! If you make a "party" out of it, the event takes on even more meaning! Good luck and let us know how it turns out.
Creative ideas to call the parents. However, as I read what you said about your husband saying it is vandalism, I would say no. As parents, it is important that you be a united front in your parenting. If your husband is uncomfortable with it, the obvious answer to me is no. How would you feel if he gave your son permission to do something that made you feel uncomfortable? Just my take on it! Good luck with your decision.
Amy
I felt the same way. I was torn. My son went to visit a friend for memorial weekend that moved away, and I knew they were planning on doing it and his friends parents gave permission. I agree'd as long as they only did it to friends, not strangers or a kid they were having issues with. They had a blast and good times with it. The friend that got t.p'd retaliated. Apparently it's not only cool to TP, it's cool to be TP'd. I don't get it, but it seems very harmless. So be prepared, retaliation is part of it! BTW - kids have to do the clean up!
Please don't do this. This is vandalism. We have gotten t.p.'d twice. Once I had just had a baby - maybe two weeks old at the time. My husband left to go to work and i got a call. He said that it was about to rain and we had gotten t.p,'d. I had to go out there and try to take all of that stuff down before it rained. I think the kids meant to t.p. the house next door because she is a teacher. We would have had no reason to be t.p'd b/c we don't have grade school kids. The next time my husband had to spend his Saturday taking all of the toilet paper down - not a fun thing to do when you work all week and want to just get the normal chores done so you can spend time with your family.
Just my opinion! Even though he did ask, I wouldn't let him do TP anyone's house. It makes the property and the block look tacky, plus I don't think it would be setting a good example. Think of the work it would take to clean it up. If he ends up doing it, I would make him clean it up! I'm just being honest and I would do the same with my boys.
TP is a very youthful kind of fun...when it is done with a small joke in mind and not a revenge issue. Make a deal with your son....OK, TP to your hearts delight, you can drive him to the house and even get in on the fun or just watch. What you could also tell your son is at ___:00 the next day that he will go and help the friend clean up. Most parents have done this in thier youth and if you give a heads up to the other parents they will go along with the fun as well. Be sure to tell them about what your son will be doing the next day. Blessings, Teri Willis www.christiancottageprep.com
That's a tough one because so many of us (including me) have done it. Our neighbor's house gets tp'd just about every other week it seems. As an adult, I can see it's a big pain. The girl and her family are out every time cleaning up. It does not look like good clean fun.
I'd suggest trying to steer the kids towards another, less destructive and wasteful activity. Yes, it is vandalism most likely -- check with your city. It's not like they're going over to the neighbor's yard to do some weed pulling and tidying up. They're throwing paper all over the yard -- no doubt this is not something the home owners or their neighbors would want. Granted, it's not breaking windows or throwing paint on the house -- nothing that extreme. Would they be willing to pick it all up? I mean, it's not fair to the home owners for them to have to do it all. Maybe if they realize they have to clean it up, they might re-consider their evening.
Here's another thing to consider -- if they go out to do it,will they be violating curfew? are you going to go with them? isn't this a form of vandalism? in other words, couldn't they (and you) potentially get in some trouble. I'd seriously consider researching your area's laws before allowing this (or better yet, have you son research this).
Yes, it's great he told you and he shouldn't be punished for doing so imo; however, that doesn't mean that you should let him do it. If he came to you and said they wanted to go drinking, would you let them just because he asked. I dont' think so. It sounds like this might be a fabulous opportunity to begin discussing, and thinking through really difficult issues (ie peer pressure, what is vandalism, etc) in an open way. Have your son think through this don't just tell him what to do, have him think through it all. He sounds like a really good kid. Maybe the people he wants to tp would be all for it. I don't know. I just think there are a lot of things for everyone to consider. Life is messy you know?
Oh no! When did i become the grumpy grown up?? LOL.
My 14yr old son just went out to TP last night!
My husband won't have anything to do with it! I think it is a way for them to feel that rush of excitement in a fun way. I make it clear...u get caught, u will clean it up. Nothing that would :ruin" anything is allowed (eggs, etc) Retaliation is all on them to clean up all by themselves. I drive them after midnight so they are with an adult.
They just love it!! Ah good times, fun memories!
I can tell you being the one on the otherside of the TP, if the persons knows who did it and the cops are called or they are caught they will be fined and ordered to clean it up..
When I was a kid I went to a sleepover birthday party where the big activity was TPing one girl's house. The girl was attending the party, and the mom of the birthday girl had called the other girl's mom to make sure it was okay. I remember hearing that only TP could be used, and that anyone who didn't want to participate would not be forced to. Both moms sat on the curb and watched the whole thing, and the next day, the birthday girl helped her friend clean up the mess.
I do know of other more serious acts of vandalism that resulted in the kids being taken to court and sued for the cost of repairs (one for thousands of dollars to have a car repainted because a girl had put some caustic material all over the hood of a car that she thought belonged to a guy who wouldn't date her), so be sure that if your son does participate in the TPing they only use TP and nothing something that might cause more damage.
We had two rules regarding TPing when I was a teen - must be a friend and must be over bright and early the next day to clean it up........I will never forget when a boy thought he would get around that rule and papered the house across from me - it belonged to a Dallas police officer...yep, he and I were over very early to clean up...lol.....luckily the officer was very nice...
What about doing something a little less messy, like filling the yard with pink flamingos, or plastic forks (stick in the yard thoughtout the entire front). Those are pretty funny, and they are not in the trees and bushes, easy to clean up and can even be used by that "victim" and be done to someone else. We used to have a life-size "tape doll" that would just appear at our front door and we would pass it along to some other unsuspecting person in our neighborhood who was expected to do the same. It was fun, and my daughter felt like she was part of a game, rather than not knowing whether the prank was done in fun or done maliciously.
A couple of questions come to mind: is the intended recipient a good friend of your son's or just some kid from school (that maybe gets picked on a bit), and do you know the parents of the boy? My thought is if it is a good friend and you know the parents, let your son have some fun with the understanding that he may end up having to be the one to clean it up too!
Hi Tami,
I also was torn about this and I did take my kids a couple of times if I knew the parents and knew they wouldn't mind. Then my sister told me it is actually agaist the law to do this and if the police see them they will stop and ticket them. I actually called my local police to see what they had to say about it and sure enough it is vandalism and the kids can get into trouble with the police. You might want to call them so you can have something concrete to tell your kids. It does help when they know it is against the law, but kids will be kids. My kids thought of a different way to do this stuff we call it postering, they make posters with fun sayings on them and staple to a paint stick and put this in the yards.
I would ask whose house he wants to tp and call the people of that house to see if it is okay. I let my kids do that -as long as they had permission from everyone invloved. Sometimes my kids would go back the next day and help clean up the mess-because they liked the people. Offer to drive and listen to their funny stories~ that is safer than letting them wander the neighborhood late at night. Join in-it is still fun!!!!