Taking dog out with children at home in apartment

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1

Hi parents,
I want to ask a question on here because when I have asked it elsewhere, I have received mixed answers.

A little background: I have 3 and 6 year olds and a large dog. Currently we live in a house, with a separate garage on a 18,000 sq. ft lot. When the dog needs to go out we just let him out (it's gated). Sometimes when the kids are asleep (or watching TV) we will take care of tasks around the yard. Which means we are not inside the house. We have a monitor in their room. Sometimes when my husband is home alone with them (at night- they are asleep) he will be building something in the garage for a period of time. This seems fine to me with the monitor on.

Our house is being sold and we are moving to an upscale apartment complex for the time being. The reason I say upscale is because I want you to know that the other apartment dwellers are not the riff/raff kind. The apartments are very expensive to lease and you have to have excellent credit and proof of good income. I'm not trying to be snooty- just saying that the building in and of itself is very safe (which was a very big factor in choosing it). You cannot even push a button in the elevator without a key fob. The other great thing is that there is a place on the ground floor to let your dogs out to go potty.

Here is my question: I work away from home (as does my husband). He is not usually home until late. In the afternoon, after I pick up the kids from school, we will need to go to the apartment (on the 3rd floor) and immediately the dog will need to be taken out. He will have been inside most of the day, most likely. I know my children: they will be exhausted and hungry from their long day (they are in school/care from 8:30-4:30). They will want to come inside, grab a snack and watch TV, read a book or play with legos. I will need to take the dog to go potty. If I have the monitor with me (I don't know yet if it will reach) and the doors locked- is it ok to take the dog down two floors and let him out without having to drag both kids with me? Is this considered "at home" since it's in the same building? I imagine if I tried to measure the distance that it is LESS distance than it is from our current house to the garage…. and yet that has never been an issue.

In searching online some people have very strong opinions about this--- but it usually pertains to babies.

My kids aren't babies. My six year old is very independent. Obviously my 3 year old needs supervision but he is earning more independence.

When I asked my husband he says "of course!" … if we want to go down to the lobby and have a drink (some nights when they are asleep), he doesn't see anything wrong with that either- as long as we have the monitor and it reaches. When I asked a friend --- a mom of 4--- she said "Of course!" She often leaves her 5 and 7 year olds at home watching a video while she takes a walk around the block with the dog (and baby).

What would you do? This little issue is stressing me out about apartment living, because if I can't let the dog out without dragging two tired kids (and a Hyper dog) to a dog potty area, it's going to be a stressful couple of months.
additionally, there will be times when either myself or my husband is not home at night, the kids will be asleep, and the one left with them will have to take the dog to potty before bed...

What would you do in this situation?

2

In that instance, I would simply ask yourself the question:
If you heard an intruder in your home with your children over the monitor, could you make it back inside, up two flights of stairs and into your apartment before the intruder could make it to the other stairs or the elevator or into another apartment with your children?

The answer is realistically no, so that’s my answer also.
Rent cost or credit checks do not guarantee good people. And if this was going to become part of your nightly routine, all someone would have to do is observe you and wait for their moment.

Oh, and if I was sitting at the bar with you and your baby-monitor, I’d call CPS on you myself.

3

I have a 5 yr old I will leave in another part of the house or allow to be outside for a short time if I can see her. But she’s done things like woken up screaming from a nightmare or nearly stabbed herself in the eye during breakfast (when I was in the shower). So my vote is that if at all possible you should not leave them home alone and unsupervised. Your friend who walks around the block is taking a big risk with her kids that I personally would not. You can explain to them that the dog needs to potty and then you all go out for just a little while to let the dog pee. At night, perhaps make it part of a nighttime walk just before bed, with the kids. You say this is temporary, so hopefully everyone can adjust to the schedule for the duration. At the very very least, take the 3 yr old with you. If there is a place on the ground floor to let the dog out, the kid can come along in his pjs.

ETA: I like the idea of a dog walker. Then you can all come home and relax a bit.

4

My kids are much older and I’ve only recently started walking our dog in a circle around our house and leaving the kids. What worries me most is choking… What about a dog walker? Sounds like this is a temporary thing and that’s a long time for a dog to be home alone. Could solve two problems. Less immediate need to dog to go out when you get home and give the poor dog a break during the long day.

5

I try very hard not to helicopter, but even I wouldn’t. Things can happen very quickly even when you are home, but can be far worse when you’re not. I would definitely not trust a six-year-old to monitor a three-year-old. It’s not even about potential kidnapping … it’s about what they can do unsupervised. They’re still both very young.

I would just tough it out and do the right thing, taking the kids with you. An alternative would be to hire someone to handle the potty trips. Perhaps there’s a teen in the building looking to make a little extra money who can do an early and late evening trip out?

6

I wouldn’t do it. Remeber Madeleine McCann?

I also think it is crazy to leave a 3 yo and 6 yo alone so you can socialize/drink in the lobby, I don’t care how nice the apartment is. What would you do if there was a fire or more important, what would the kids do if there was a fire?

7

No, I would not leave a 3 and 6 year old alone. They are still babies.
Bring a small snack with you when you pick them up from school - they can eat it in the car, then you all three get the dog and take him out. Make this a new routine for your new home. They will adjust and be fine.

As for having a sitter take the dog out while the kids are sleeping - um, no. Take the dog out before the kids go to bed. Take the dog out when you get home.

Elementary my dear. One doesn’t leave small children home alone.

8

If you can afford an “upscale apartment” you can probably swing paying someone to walk your dog once a day. I understand the temptation to leave them in front of the TV and take the dog out but it’s not worth it. Definitely not worth having a drink in the lobby. I imagine it would be pretty easy to find a teenager in your building that would get home mid afternoon that would love to make a few bucks.

9

I can’t think of an apartment that would take a large dog.
But I suppose some might exist.
No way would I leave kids that age alone.
Hire a dog walker or get a baby sitter to watch the kids for when you need to walk the dog.

10

Nope. Get someone to walk dog during the day. I am sure there are dog walkers available if this is an upscale place. I am sure other people have dogs that need to go out.

11

I wouldn’t want to leave a three-year-old and a six-year-old alone to take Rover out to answer the call of nature for five minutes, much less to walk him for twenty minutes. Lots of things can happen in five minutes. I wouldn’t go down to the lobby and get a drink, either. (Monitors are great, but where I live, if you leave young children alone and leave the property, you may get in trouble with the law.)

Yes, you’re going to have a stressful time. So will the dog. This is where helpers come in handy. Do you know a reliable teenager who lives near your apartment - someone whose family you also know - who would love to earn some money by taking Rover out for potty and for a walk two or three times a day? If not, there are people who do just this as their business - and it would be a worthwhile investment for your family life if you hired one of them for the duration..

12

If it was say a 9 and a 6 year old I would say go for it, but a 3 year old? That is too young. It only takes a moment for a baby that young to climb on something, pull something over, or any number of things, and a 6 year old is way too young to monitor the younger child. I would take the kids with me and if they whined they would just have to get over it.

13

Home alone is home alone. Sorry. Any neighbor who sees you leave them would be totally within reason to complain… and may even call CPS if they’re worried.

A monitor is only going to let you know what has happened (if it happens to make a sound) not make you miraculously able to get there and stop it when you’re an elevator ride away.

The kids might WANT to go plop down in front of tv after a long day, but they will NEED to ride back down with you to let the dog out…

Really though, why not pay a teenaged neighbor to let the dog out when she gets home from school? That way maybe the dog potty can wait until after snack if it’s that critical.

Also… for night times, you may need to invest in one of those indoor dog pee spots (they sell them for apartments and for super cold temps when it’s just too cold for dogs to be safe going outside). It’ll be one more thing for you to deal with cleaning, daily, but probably worth it if you’re that opposed to taking your kids downstairs… something like this Amazon.com: UGODOG Indoor Dog Potty : Pet Supplies

Hope this helps.

14

Simple answer: NO!

The furthest I’ll go when my children are alone in the house is the porch or the yard. And that’s only when they’re asleep.

Have you ever watched the movie Look Who’s Talking Too? The children are left alone in an upstairs apartment by their irresponsible uncle. A fire starts. In the movie the children make it out via the elevator. In reality, those babies would have died. :frowning:

Sitting in a lobby drinking is an irresponsible choice on your part. So is walking the dog while leaving the kids alone. I mean, what would you do, realistically, if a crisis occurred? Do you honestly think the baby monitor is going to save the day? What if it stops working?

And FYI - There are plenty of “bad apples” with money and good credit.

Your easiest solution is either A) get rid of the dog or B) hire a dog walker.

15

My oldest child is about to be 11. I don’t even leave her in the car so I can run in and pay for gas if need be. I always take all 5 of my kids out of the car if I have to get out of the car or if I have to go outside. It may not always be the most convenient thing to do but I couldn’t imagine leaving my children alone like that. Even for ten minutes. Maybe I’m paranoid but in this day and age I feel you have to be. My answer for you would be that this isn’t acceptable.

However, on the other hand, I have a friend who also has 5 kids and she leaves her kids alone for a lot of things. Her oldest is 12 tho.
I personally am not comfortable with this.

16

I would hire someone to come take my dog for a walk during the day.

I would not leave a 3 and 6 year old in a home alone. Even for 15 minutes.

17

I would probably leave them inside watching a show. BUT, I wouldn’t leave them with any food. Especially the 3 year old. I had to do the heimleich on my son when he was 3.
My eldest is 11 1/2 and I have left him home by himself multiple times. He has a phone, he knows not to answer the door, he knows not to cook, he knows not to eat. My middle is 8 and I have left him a few times, but only with my older son.
IF, God forbid, something happens to your 3 year old, then is your 6 year old going to feel like he was responsable for whatever befell your 3 year old? Example- My cousin is married to a fabulous woman. I love her. She is inspirational, kind, generous, just a fantastic person. When she was little, 2 (?) she was outside with her older brother and he was lifting weights. Somehow she got under him while he was lifting and he dropped the weights on her. She is paralyzed. I don’t know this man, but I am sure that as a young man he felt LOTS of guilt for what happened. Even though it was an accident!
Laura

18

My concern is that they can’t get in the elevator without a key fob. Can they access the stairs? Can your three year old physically open the door, or is it too heavy? What if there was an emergency and they couldn’t get to you?

I think it’s probably fine, since you’ll still be within the grounds of the apartment building. I would just make absolutely sure that your children can get to you if they need to. Having the monitor isn’t enough, since it will be in the bedroom but the kids will be in the living room or kitchen. They absolutely have to be able to run downstairs if needed.

19

No, take the kids w/you right when you get home to take the dog out to pee. They can eat a snack while you all go out to take the dog to pee.

Then they can go in and relax/do homework/rest/eat etc.

Oh and I would never leave them alone to go downstairs to have a drink.
Remember that Madeline story where the parents left her alone asleep to go down to the close bar to have drink. She was kidnapped from their room & never heard from again. Not worth the risk for a drink. Have a drink together in your apartment while they are safely w/in distance in their rooms sleeping while you rest/relax in the living room right there.

Remember it’s never worth the risk.
The dog/pee issue should be easy to handle.

20

Definitely no.

I get that you are trying to find a compromise between being a good mom and a good pet owner… But I would NEVER leave a 3 year old without responsible supervision… And a 6 year old definitely doesn’t qualify. Heck, I was barely willing to shower if there was no one around to supervise my DD when she was 3… She got to watch cartons in my room.

The thing is, that no matter how upscale or secure the building is there are soooo many things that could happen, and kids that young just don’t have the maturity to know how to handle it. Fires, burglary, molestation (ESPECIALLY if you have a routine that you leave your children unattended for a set amount of time at a certain time of day…) no matter how thoroughly a background is checked, nothing is going to pop unless the person has been caught first. You have no clue who is going to be in that building with you.

It’s a hassle, but I would take the kids with me. Maybe call it play time, where they can ride their bikes for a while. I always played outside after school. It’s not so exhausting when you are having fun. Maybe there is a park nearby you could walk to, where they can play for a few minutes. Having a fun destination would likely make them more willing to go.

I DEFINITELY wouldn’t leave hem at night to hang out in the lobby. If I wanted a few drinks, I would drink them in my house or hire a babysitter to go out… Even if just to the lobby.