...........Sleepover question......

Other Topics All Other Topics
1

Hi,

my son (9) asked me last night if his best friends and him could have a sleepover at our house. Apparently the boys' mother said it was fine with her if I'm ok with it.

Before I agree to it and call her I would like to know how such a sleepover works...I never had one when I was little....

So....how does it work....what about dinner and breakfast....what about entertainment.....when do the kids come over.....when do they leave....do they shower.....do they sleep in their clothes or pajamas.....????????????????????????????

I know nothing about it, so please tell me everything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks so much !!!!

2

They can play, watch a movie, etc. Get their jammies on & go "to bed" which will translate into a few more hours of silliness. Make them dinner or get a pizza if they are there at dinnertime. Make them breakfast in the morning. Decide on a "pick up" time when they are dropped off at your house. They can bring sleeping bags & pillows, PJ's and toothbrush and any medications, etc they will need.

3

usually the kid comes over sometime before dinner (whatever works for you) amd the have dinner and dependig on the kids they entertain themselves (video games, a movie,, ect) they sleep iin pjs and stay for breakfast. They can shower at your house or wait till they get home, depemds on how comfortable you or they are with showering at your house. My mom use to let us have sleeping bags in the living room when we would have sleep overs, my daughter has a trundle bed in her room where her friends sleep. We order pizza and get a movie from redbox and I usually get sundae stuff or popcorn and candy for the movie, before that they play outside or up in her room (she is younger and needs a little more supervision then your son probably). Its pretty much the same as a play date, just last longer and you feed them. Getting them to go to bed can be tricky, especially at 9 yrs old, so be prepared for them to dtay up late and be tired the next day, comes woth the territory of a sleep over and most parents expect it. Feel free to message me if you have any more ?s hope I answered what you needed ((HUGS))

4

You can have the child come over after dinner and change into jammies at your house. Pop some popcorn and provide something to drink, put in a movie, after the movie lights out. I wouldn't expect them to sleep too much kids often get really excited and giggle or goof around all night during a sleep over. In the morning plan breakfast, feed the kids and have his Mom pick him up around noon or plan some type of entertainment for the day.

It could be a really good thing to exchange sleep overs with the other parents once a month. Maybe you and your SO can have a kid free night and go out or just have a nice night at home.

I am not sure why they call them sleep overs since most of the time no one gets any sleep but the kids love them.

5

Sleepovers are so fun for kids, and a little tiring for both kids and parents! As Kristy said, have the parents drop off the boys at your house before dinner. Pick up time might be around 10:00 the next day. You can set the time, and if anyone has a need for a different time, they'll say so.

Feed them something you know kids will like (pizza, hot dogs, things like that tend to be favorites). Have a movie, video games, or other things for them to do. Popcorn and snacks. If you have a playroom, family room, or basement room that they can take over, great. Otherwise the livingroom floor works to put out their sleeping bags.

Have them change into pj's and expect them to stay up later than they should. Feed them your son's favorite breakfast food in the morning. I doubt nine-year-old boys will care about showering, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Depending on how many boys you have, it could get loud and active! It is still your house and you can set rules about behavior.

6

my son usually does a sleep over with tons of boys (headache) for his birthday. But if it is 1 kid or tons drop off is usually by about 5 but not really strict because i know schedules are something you have to work around (which is before dinner here) but some kids just ride the bus home from school. Pizza is usally food of choice. There have been times kids have already eaten and thats ok- they can have pizza with us or wait for snacks or have nothing- its up to them. We have movies, snacks, ice cream or some other fun desert and the kids usually hang out playing video games, toys, board games, crafts(girls) etc. If you don't want to worry about feeding another child- then just say I really don't want them to come over until after they have eaten and make sure your family has eaten before they will arrive.
I check with each parent as to what they have going on the next day and if they have a certain time they would like their child in bed. I go with the earliest time a parent has set. Many times though no one cares so I basically let them stay up until they drop. When I decide to go to bed there are rules- no more snacks, watching movies is ok, video games in the bedroom ok, etc. With the girls (because they are younger) I basically put in a movie and have them already in pjs- teeth brushed, climb in sleeping bags and lay down to watch movie- they usually fall asleep. Now that my son is older (I still have boys ready for bed before I go to bed) but the rule is if I hear you and/or if you wake up the girls-thats it lights out! I ask each kid if they want/need a shower before bed as well as in the morning. Some do- most do not- but if I know mom has somewhere she is taking kids right after pick up then shower in the morning is usually a must.
I usually give kids a vote about breakfast- and majority wins...these are always things that I will actually make. If only one kid is over my kids go with their friends choice (since I usually do not offer things my kids will not eat anyway).
Pick up time depends on my schedule the next day but if nothing going on- usually noon. This gives them time to sleep in (cause they were up most of the night) eat breakfast and still play and have fun. It works out great and I don't have to worry about them for lunch. Sometimes the kid will have to be picked up early and that is ok too(although if it is boys and they were up super late they usually do not get breakfast if picked up early, not my choice but theirs because they don't want to wake up until it is time to go...I apologize to the parent for that but they usual understand)- just as long as they are picked up my what time I set for them.
Boys typically decide to sleep in my sons room- even though there isn't much room in there. The girls usually go for the livingroom. I ask them what they want. I ask that kids bring sleeping bags and pillows- I do not want to keep extras or worry about washing them, etc. I do supply extra blankets incase they get cold. Sometimes they sleep in their clothes instead of pjs- that is each childs preference. I always have extra toothbrushes incase a kid forgets because I will not let them go to bed without brushing.
It is fun and I dont try to over organize or schedule things because it never works out.... just have fun with it-set your rules that you will not let slide (make sure your son knows these before hand) and let the kids for the most part call the shots!
Good luck

7

Sleepovers are so fun!

Just ask the child to bring what they want to sleep in....a favorite blanket or pillow, their toothbrush, a change of clothes.
(Some kids are fine with using whatever blankets or pillows you have on hand).

As for dinner, make it simple and kid friendly. Make homemade hamburgers or spaghetti. Or, pick up a take and bake pizza. Let them put on a movie and have some popcorn.
For breakfast, they can have cereal, but it's fun to make pancakes or french toast in the morning for them, at least for me.

What time they arrive depends on everyone's schedule. Afternoon is a good time but not always possible. (I preferred Fridays after school so my kids could be rested and back in the swing for the rest of the weekend). When they leave shouldn't have to be too early unless someone has a committment the next day.
Just agree with the mom when the child will be brought over and picked up, or you'll pick him up and bring him home.

Make sure you have snacks like fruit or veggies and pretzels. All the kids that came to my house were introduced to "bubble water". I hate to say it, but I had a few kids who were die hard soda fans because they were allowed to have it at home. Surprisingly, all the kids loved the bubble water alternative. (It's seltzer water, 78 cents for a two-litre at Winco). I gave them the choice of having it plain or with a little lemon or orange squeezed in for flavor.
Kids are pretty good at enteraining themselves. It's fun being at someone else's house to sleep.
The more you have sleepovers, the more you'll get a routine and find what works. We had kids that were over so much that they had their own toothbrush and things at my house. Same thing with places my kids went often.

Don't worry too much about it. It doesn't have to be a big production. You might really have fun yourself. I know I always did.

Regarding showering, I have a couple of friends who LOVED their sons staying with me because I would simply say that everyone had to take a turn in the shower before bed. At home, it was an argument, but at my house, they just got right in. No magic involved, kids often easily do things for other people they don't easily do at home. My own nephew was the same way.
Little boys can get stinky and frankly, the warm shower in the evening helped them settle down and was the clear signal it was time for pajamas and winding down. I had a rule they were not allowed to lock the bathroom door in case they needed something or slipped. The boys that stayed over were actually easier than some of the girls I had with my daughter.

Like I said, you'll figure out a routine. Don't be afraid to get feedback from the other mom.

8

We have the boys arrive at 6 or so and start off with a pizza dinner and cookies or milkshakes for dessert. They then horse around, play legos, go outside, play video games or whatever until about 9 or so. We then get their pajamas on and make some popcorn and watch a movie. This takes you to about 11:30 and lights out. Of course they will stay up talking and thats ok. Don't bug them to go to sleep. One night of poor sleep will NOT kill them. I wake up early and run to the store for a donut breakfast and then their parents pick them up around 10:30 - 11:00.

9

My girls have sleepovers all the time. The child usually comes over the afternoon or evening before. If it's a Friday night, they can come over right after school. As for dinner, the child eats whatever your having. Entertainment is just like a play date, let the kids do what they want. They may want to watch a movie before bed, and you could supply some popcorn or other snack.

I usually let them set their bed time, but if it gets to late, I give them the lights out, quiet down. They can sleep whereever you have room, in sleeping bags on the floor in the living room, or in your sons room. Yes, pajamas are usually the norm. No showers, unless they down some type of activity that would require it.

I always serve the child breakfast (although at most sleepovers my children go to breakfast is not served). Serve whatever is normal for your family, it could be simply like bowl of cereal, or a full meal with eggs, bacon and toast.

Prior to the sleepover, set a time for pick up in the morning. It's completely up to you, but I feel around 10:00 is good.

10

when i had them as a kid i usually went over there right after school or mid afternoon on a saturday and had dinner over there and we played games and watched movies normally everyone going would bring a movie and we would have a moivethon and then eat breakfast and go home around 11ish i would always bring pjs and a change of clothes then shower when i got home

11

First, find out what HE thinks a sleepover is. what has he heard. Know his expectations and weigh them in.

Either way, you can set some natural ground rules that make sense as there is a variety.

Some kids expect that it is a stay up and put ice down the back of someone who falls asleep. Not a great idea. At this age, I'd make a bedtime rule.

Review your house thoroughly for any guns, weapons, alcohol, medications, car keys, that need to be locked up and out of sight. There are always adventurous kids that will experiment even though they know better.

Limit it in size to make it manageable and tell your son that he is second in charge to make sure things go safely and happily so that you can see before you grand bigger ones in the future.

Figure a way that they absolutely cannot leave the house through a door or window to explore, teepee a house, vandalize, whatever in the middle of the night. Don't be naive.

On the food side, watch out for too much sugar as some kids get super hyper and that's bad for your house and the other kids.

Have some interesting things to try: board games, appropriate movies, etc. Talk to each mom to assure them of what steps you've taken to keep them safe and sane.

Don't ignore and wish for the best. Check in on them to make sure all is well but use excuses now and then like brining in a snack or asking a question or something. Let them know they can't depend on your ignoring them. And yes, that means in the middle of the night too. Set your alarm.

You set the time they come in and the time they leave and ask the parents if that works for them.

12

Utilize the parental controls on your TV! You never know what kids will do when you are asleep. Some mothers are particular about what movies, TV programs their kids watch. ASK! Decide on a time for the child to go home. I've had some parents think I was the all-day sitter. I had a rule with my kids that if the child turned out to be a picky eater, he/she was not to be invited over again. I had a bad experience with a neighbor's child, and promised myself I'd never go through that again. Also bad manners, no more invitations. It really taught my kids to choose their friends carefully.
Girls wear pjs, the boys wore whatever---mostly their underwear. If girls (sisters) are in the house, the boys wore sweats or something comfy. I made dip, corndogs, popcorn, etc. Usually there would be cookies for dessert. I let them drink soda for supper, but the rest of the evening they had to drink water. You will be shocked at the kids that don't ever drink water!!! I usually made pancakes for breakfast. That's all I can think of. Good luck. I sure was glad when my kids got past that stage.

13

You've gotten some great ideas (I have too!). I only want to add about the showering - if you don't know the parents well I wouldn't push it. I know my kids would feel weird showering at someone elses house and it would make me uncomfortable as well. It's one night, it won't kill them to be stinky for one night, they can shower when they get home. If you're really concerned about it just don't let them play anything where they would get really dirty (mud-football would be out :) ).

14

First of all, it's hard to believe that you never had a sleepover! You poor thing. I know in junior high and even until the time my friends and I had driver's licenses we constantly stayed at each other's houses.

Since you said the "boys' mother" I am assuming the boys are brothers. Talk to the mother and make arrangements with her about when she will drop them off and when she will pick them up. If they are going to be there for dinner find out if there's anything they cannot eat (allergies, religous, etc). You can make them something special or just make dinner as usual. The rule at my house is you eat what is made or you do not eat. I frequently have my friend's son over and he eats things with me he won't with her.

You really don't have to have anything planned. They will figure out what to do. If they want to do something special find out ahead of time. They might want to have a Harry Potter watching marathon or something along those lines. Have a "lights out" time, but realize they will likely stay awake talking long past that time.

It's not necessary to have a big breakfast in the morning. They are old enough to get up and make their own bowl of cereal or instant oatmeal and toast.

Since it's not a big party or special event there is no need to do anything special. You will just have an expanded family for the evening. Maintain your usual rules and night time rituals.