So my husband and I have started our steps to becoming parents through adoption. We have spent the last few weeks talking about names and have settled, so far on 3 boys names and 2 girls names. The only thing we disagree on is the form of name, long or short.
I grew up in a family where you had a proper name, and a nick name. He grew up in a family where their proper names had no nick names.
So I thought to ask other people's opinion on this topic. Do you name your children what you call them, or a long form proper name? Example, one of our son's names will be Aleksei. His nick name, or what he will probably be called, will be Alek. My husband's stance is, if we are going to call him Alek, why not just name him Alek instead of Aleksei. My stance is Alek is a nick name, not a name.
So what do you all think about this?
Named DS Benjamin with the intention of calling him Benjamin (which at 5 he prefers). Have become very good at correcting Ben, Bennie and even Benjie (sorry, Benjie is a cute little dog, not my kid).
BTW don't feel sorry for girls with boy or unisex names. I have one and have always loved it. Besides (and sadly as well) having a 'boy's name' still opens doors in the work world. May still get you that job interview that you would otherwise never know about.
I personally would want to go with a full name. Just because when they get older, they may not want to go by "Bobby" and would prefer Robert. I had a few friends growing up, Jessie, prefers Jessica now, and Bri perfers to be called Brianna. They think it sounds better as adults. Its always nice to have the option. But, I think Alek could go either way. Sounds like a full name to me.
My name is Christina... I answer to Christina, Chris, and Red (I'm a redhead). My brother's name is Nicholas, and he goes only by Nick. (we also have an Andy (Andrea), Angel (Angelique), Chet (Chester), Kenny (Kenneth), and Tom (Thomas) as far as my siblings and nicknames go. (I have more, but their 'proper' name doesn't shorten to a nice nickname) My Fiance is Travis, but goes by TJ. Obviously, my family believes in nicknames. lol. For the most part, full names (in my family) are for when you are in B.I.G. Trouble.
Interestingly, my two sisters are "Beth" and "Kate" b/c my parents knew that they would never call them "Elizabeth" and "Katherine", so just named them what they wanted to call them! We, on the other hand, named my son after his two grandfathers, but have called him by his initials from the minute we knew he was a "boy".
I would say name your son the more formal name and then each of you can call him as you wish. My FIL insists on calling my son "John" b/c "that's his name" which is both true and fine with us.
I would give him a full name because as an adult, on a resume it will look more professional. However, I would not hestitate to use a nickname through a child's life either. Our daughter's name is Samantha Marie. Most of the time she is Sam or Sammi. Occasionally I will use her full name.
Good luck and congratulations on your future child!
My son's full name is Romanov... we call him Roman.
The upside to nick names? When I'm mad, he know's it. ROMANOV!!
I'm not too keen on nicknames. I named my two girls feminine names with no intentions of calling them nick names. I think your husband has a point. Why name a child Robert if he will be called Rob or Bobby all his life, or Kathryn if Kate, Kat or Katie is used all the time? The same goes with only using initial like R.J. or such. On another note, it also bugs me when girl names are shortened to male nicknames, like Harriet to Harry. Giving a girl a boy or "unisex" name like Elliot, Avery or Riley makes me feel bad for the girl, too. The surname as a first name trend is also tiring; Madison, Taylor, Hunter, Weston...
A full name sounds more professional.
A nickname sounds child like.
Our kids are Jayson Ian and Brianna Elizabeth
We call Jayson, J, or Jman , and Brianna is B or Bgirl
or We use their names it all depends on what's going on
My name is Nancy Elizabeth, I am called Beth.
It's less formal and I like it like that , But I also like having my "full name"
People will call them what they will......even if it's not what you think they are supposed to do!
When you pick a name for a son, pick one your child will probably be happy with all his life - kindergarten, Cub Scouts, basketball team, music camp, law school. Same goes for daughters.
One thing a nickname can do is to make a grownup name OK for a child. It isn't that the real name doesn't count. Aleksei is a wonderful name! But "Alek" might be easier for him to handle when he's young. When he's older, he might prefer "Aleksei Johnson, DVM." Alek (or Alec) is sometimes used as a regular name, and sometimes as a nickname for Aleksei or Alexander.
Your husband needs to know that sometimes children give themselves nicknames! Historical example: British writer C. S. Lewis' first name was Clive. He announced as a child that he would be known as "Jack." And that was that, as far as his family and friends were concerned. He kept his real name for the outside world.
And at certain times nicknames have been, more or less, customary. Often friends gave each other nicknames. I read once that nicknames for children were especially popular when the children were named after long-dead relatives and Civil War heroes!
:^)
Find some long-lasting names you both like, and just see what happens. You'll love your child so much that you'll love any name that you end up calling him or that he ends up calling himself.
My hubby was not OK with girl names that shortened to what he considered boy names. So we agreed to a name that really didn't shorten to a nick name at all. I am glad we did.
Both hubby and I have always been known as our nick names, and now as an adult, I mostly dislike it. Its not very professional sounding...even tho I work with children and don't need a very prof sounding name! But after 40 years of being called the other, I now (with friends and family) go by an even shorter version of the nick name! LOL...but when I make calls or introduce myself in any other way, its with my full first name.
Most of my siblings and the adults nieces and nephews in my family, who have had children in the last many years...and many of my friends too, have purposely given their children a name like we did with my daughter...one that doesn't generally shorten.
But to each his own! Having a nick name hasn't harmed me any! I use both now.
Names like Claire, Connor, Shelby, Morgan, Lauren, Logan, Lance, Andre, Max, Cole, Noel,
Oh.......I have news for your husband.
Whatever you name your child, you will call them all kinds of things other than their actual name.
Honey....sweetie, sugar, pookie butt.....
You never know until they've been around a while what their nick names might end up to be.
Trust me, you'll likely have little "pet" names for your kids regardless of what you name them.
Choose a name you like.
Best wishes.
I grew up like you, had full names but also had nicknames. I've also known people who went by their nickname in elementary school then by high school wanted to be called by their full name, that was hard to adjust to, but finally it came rolling off the tongue.
My husband has a nickname for me that I just absolutely adore. I like having nick names or shorten names but have the formal name when needed.
Here is a few of our family's name and nickname
Deborah = Debbie
Allison = Ali
Emily = Emmie
Jennifer = Jen
Kendra = Kendi
Jordan = Jordee
James = Jim
Steven = Steve
Lucas = Luke
Melanie = Mel
Just to give you a few...
I'm with you on this! Love the nicknames, I even love my nicknames, have many...
My husband has a wonderful first name, but he is referred to by his nickname and he says as an adult he really wishes his parent had used his proper name. He tried once he got to high school, but his parents laughed at him and said he would always be,, the shortened name.. By then his friends also would not switch over. When I was born my mother wanted to name me Lauren, but my father and his mother said "we will call her Laurie".. My mother really wanted them to call me Lauren, but since she knew they would call me Laurie, she went ahead with Laurie. It is a shame, because I love the name Lauren. When I was in school there were a ton of Laurie's, but no Lauren's.
Our daughter has a long first name and she has never allowed anyone to try to shorten it.. She loves the long name. We had 2 middle names picked out and could not decided, until we actually saw her. The one we picked suits her perfectly..
FYI, we do have lots of pet names my husband and I use when she is ill, mad, or acting like a clown.. but no one outside of this house would dare use them with her..
My whole life I've always written my given name, but friends called me by my nickname.
When I started work I wanted to be a bit more formal/professional, so all my work friends call me by my given name, my husband, family and neighborhood friends call me by my nickname.
There's no reason why you couldn't name your son Alek - Alec is certainly popular. (But then his nickname could be Al.)
Sometimes kids choose their own nicknames. For awhile my son and his friend were referring to each other by the first letter of their first names.
Z and E were great friends till Z moved away.
I am ok with full names and using nick names.
I say this to people who are "against" nicknames. My name is like what your husband wants the shortened nick name of a longer name. All my life, when asked to give my full name or legal name I say it, then I'm asked your full name isn't (the longer version of my name). No, no its not. So while I don't think this will necessarily happen with Alek, this is what can happen when your named just the nick name for a full name. Is it the end of the world, no, but does it get annoying sometimes sure. I also all the time have people calling me the full name. Just because they think it is or just to do it.....
So my stance is name your child whatever you want and call them whatever you want! :)
We went a bit backwards on this one... of all the names I suggested, my hubbs & oldest daughter chose the name Lexie. I specifically wanted Lexie, and let my husband decide if we just named her Lexie, or did we want to go with a 'full' name. He was on the side of a full name, so Alexis it is. We use her full name all the time. "Alexis Paige- get off of the counter! Alexis Paige - do not throw the cat into
the pool! Alexis Paige!!!...."
My DD has a full name and nicknames. I like the versatility a nickname gives a child and, to be honest, they'll probably make up one or acquire one somewhere. My stepson's name doesn't have an easy nickname, but his friends gave him one anyway. And my stepdaughter swapped nicknames when she was little. You never know.
I also like having a name that can be used with more familiar people and/or as a child vs being really formal when the kid is 2. For example, if your kid is Elizabeth, she could be Beth or Liz but when she's 35 and managing a department, she could easily be Elizabeth and be taken more seriously than if you named her Bambi (no offense intended to Bambis. I'm sure you know what I mean).
I also did not want to give my child a wackadoodle name. No Apples here. And I used a common spelling. I wanted her to have a name that was versatile to whoever she might become without hindering her.
Would your husband compromise in that if you give him a full name that YOU can call him by a nickname and HE can call him by the full name and see what the kid calls himself when he is older?
I have a family nickname that I use with family, but around 5th grade I decided to use my full name for school. My name also has a common nickname I don't like so I tell people to call me x or y, but not q. Just as long as you tell people what your son prefers to be called (or teach him to do so), it'll be fine.
Go with the full name....No matter what you'll have nicknames....My DH rolls his eyes becasue I have so many nicknames for our three kids....Oh well.....I guess I am a little nerdy......I've recently been calling them my lil' love potions. :)