We have new neighbors right behind us. They have three kids. Two boys and a girl. The youngest is 4 years old and he is a terror! You can tell they have NO CONTROL over their children. They freely come in our yard and play on our equipment when we are outside in the back, which is fine, but then they go in our garage in the front take out all the toys and start riding them w/o permission. The dad comes running after them saying "Logan no" or "Logan did you ask". I can hear no FIRMNESS in his voice. He seems like a very timid parent. Last night Logan came over again, got in our garage and took out my son's motorized Jeep and started riding it. I didn't say anything because i wanted to see how the dad would react again. Then the 5 year old comes in the garage and gets my son's motorized police bike and starts riding w/o permission. The dad is trying to round them up and the kids are riding in circles around his dad. He looks at me and says "i am so sorry" and is running down the street chasing his kids. Then the naughty one starts riding on my grass, our neighbor's grass in the front and starts riding through my landscaping and that is when I say "no no no, you cannot ride on the rocks and thru my plants". The dad again tries to correct his child and his child runs away from him. I wasn't so concerned about my landscaping at this point because nothing has bloomed yet, but next time it happens (and i am sure it will) i am going to tell the dad that he needs to get control of his kids. Do you think that is mean? This has happened quite a few times. The dad told me that they do not go anywhere and that they are home bodies. I know those kids probably have "boring" toys to play with but enough is enough. I am pretty sure that is why his kids act that way for a reason. For one, he does not have the upper hand and #2 I dont think those kids have been exposed to other people/kids that much that there has been no reason for "manners" to be enforced. It is really quite annoying. I know my kids are not perfect but when my son goes in someone else garage and start taking out toys, i quickly correct him and tell him that is not polite and it is rude and redirect him to come and get his own toys out of his garage to play with. What would you do?
Your house, your property, your rules. If he’s not going to parent them and tell them how to behave at someone else’s place, you are well within your right to verbally discipline, and if it comes to it, forbidding them to come back for as long as you feel is appropriate. If they don’t ask, they don’t get to play. Period. Send them home if they can’t play nice. Don’t wait for the dad to do his job, it’s YOUR stuff, and YOUR home. They either won’t come back, or your place will be the only place they behave.
lock my garage… if those parents can’t control their children and you don’t want them using your stuff tell them like you plan on doing or lock it up. let your children ahve the things they want and if they want they can share it.
as for those neighbors of yours, it is very rude. we dealt with neighbors like this for a while (but they were adults and would borrow whatever they pleased whenever they wanted and dh finally told the guy that he was going to call the police to report it as theft)
hope your neighbors can get controll of their kids. if not they will turn out like my old neighbors.
I have this same family in my neighborhood.
Short answer, if the other parents are unwilling or unable to control their kids at my expense, I will do it for them.
They would be told to put those toys back in the garage. They can ask YOU first. Not their dad. And I would physically take it away if need be. (I have.)
If my kids are not out, my garage is off limits. Period.
And if I do allow them to play with our toys, I will give them the rules as to when and how they can be used.
Again, I have zero problem correcting other people’s kids when it comes to my property. I do not do it in a mean manner, but I am firm and do lay down the law.
I would change my own behavior since I can’t change anyone else’s.
•Close your garage.
•Tell each of these kids that they are not to use any of your things inless they ask you or your husband first.
•Explain that if they do use things without permission, they will be sent home.
•Then, when they enter the yard, it’s perfectly OK to say “guys, we are playing on the swings/monkey bars/whatever right now–want to play? Gone. No toys are allowed out of he garage today.”
The father obviously is clueless. I’d speak up!
You have authority over what happens in your own house/yard. Your place, your boundaries. It’s time to set some.
I once had some neighbors with 5 special needs kids (varying degrees of autism). So even though their parents were doing their best to raise them well, these kids needed a little extra help to understand boundaries. A couple of these children were close in age to my kids and they did spend time at my house. I welcomed them, but with firm ground rules. They could only be at our house if I had time to supervise directly. (They were still young - preschool to early grade school.) Our things were not their things - they were required to ask to play with our things. Everyone was to be kind and play well with others. No destructive behavior was allowed. Any child who could not manage that (mine or theirs) would have to sit out from playing for awhile. Any child who continued to have trouble (mine or theirs) would need to leave - mine for their own rooms, theirs for their own house. It required a bit of work on my part at the beginning, but I found that clear expectations and consistency went a long way toward allowing everybody, including me, to enjoy the interactions.
I would tell the kids myself.
It’s YOUR house. When they come into YOUR yard and start taking YOUR kids’ toys, YOU tell them “No, you cannot play with that - put it back.”
We have neighbors like this right across the street. The bad part is in our situation, the parents have never even been outside to watch their kids. One of them even went so far as to while I was upstairs in the bathtub (husband and kids were gone) he came into my house, pulled out one of my kitchen chairs into the garage, and climbed up in our freezer to get out an ice cream. Finally after about 6 years of this, his mom and I came to blows when I sent one of them home for throwing my sons toy and breaking it. She came out to yell at me for hurting her sons feeling…that was it. I blew!
Nip it now!!! It will only get worse. Your house, your stuff, your rules. Period!!
Build a fence. Stop waiting for this parent to parent his kids and make your own boundaries. “Oh, we aren’t getting those out right now, maybe later.”
When I worked with youngsters who felt entitled to get into things, I’d take out the items I felt comfortable letting them use and then closed the garage door. You could do that too.
What I’m wondering is why you are hanging back and waiting for the dad to do something? Don’t send mixed messages. Be firm, be clear with the kids. I have to do this sometimes with other people’s children in my home (“Oh, no, please close the cupboard. If you need a snack, you may ask me.”) and I just do it as though it’s just a matter of fact: everyone in the world expects that you would ask first before taking anything.
If a child were to continue riding in my yard, I would calmly explain that they might ride on the sidewalk or the toy would need to go away. “If you want to use our toys, you need to keep them where they belong.” Once again, firm and matter of fact.
It’s not your problem they go nowhere and are homebodies. I am a homebody. I certainly don’t expect it to be my neighbor’s problem.
And get a 6’ fence built around your backyard. It’s worth it!
Well, it’s your house, your belongings, your garage, your yard. What you say goes.
Why would that be mean?
I would tell the kids “No” any time they did something you didn’t like them doing. At your house.
Talking to the dad … If he’s that laid back and not helpful in these situations, not sure what talking to him will do.
You can take control of the situation, so I would.
Since you haven’t much to this point, then he may not think you are as bothered as you are. So he may only half heartedly chase his kids.
I’m sure if he was aware you were annoyed, he’d try harder. So you can talk to him, but all it would take is one “No - put that back please” and he’d get the hint REALLY quick!
Good luck 
Your house. Your things. Your insurance. Your rules. You get to discipline if dad won’t. And don’t forget that clean-up is also part of playtime (speaking from experience).
I certainly wouldn’t have waited for the dad to come over and correct them. I would have made them get off right then and there and had them sit on the porch while I gave them a little firm talking to. Apparently, they have no understanding of boundaries, so while in your yard, they need to know the rules. Maybe it’s the former school teacher in me, but I have zero tolerance for this kind of behavior.
So apparently I am old school. If my kids got in someone elses garage and got toys out without the parent in that house saying come over to play and then ran away from me when I was saying no… my kid would get his behind cracked after the first time. I would put a fence up between your house and theirs. And then I would let the dad know that you do not want them in your garage at all. What if they knocked into something and got hurt. Thats a lawsuit waiting to happen. Put up a fence. If you don’t want a 6 foot just do a picket but put up a fence so they can’t get in. And maybe talk to your other neighbors. Maybe a whole wall of fences. Good fences make good neighbors. And hell no kids from other house do not get to get in my garage and play on toys that cost me in the hundreds of dollars. So just no.
I agree about your house/your rules. It’s fine to shut the garage door or take the battery out of the motorize bike, but it doesn’t solve the problem. They’ll think the stuff is broken, not that they have to ask permission. So it’s also absolutely okay (and probably required) for you to say “no”. I realize that’s not a word they hear very often. Don’t go to the dad - he’s ineffective anyway, but it doesn’t solve your problem.
So what I would do is sit the neighbor kids down - line them up on your porch or the edge of your driveway, and get down to their level and look them in the eye. Tell them, “The rules of our house are that you have to ask first. You can only play here when we are outside, and you still have to ask and you have to wait for me to say ‘yes’. You can’t take things from the garage unless I say it’s okay. Now, IF I say you can ride the bikes, you cannot ride on the grass or in the gardens. Not at all. If you don’t follow the rules, you will have to go right home.”
Then as soon as someone rides over the grass, you get in front of the bike and physically block it. Take the child by the hand and remove him from the bike, and put the bike aside. Walk the child to the property line and say “You have to go home now. We can try tomorrow when you are ready to behave. Bye.” If they whine or argue, be firm. “Maybe tomorrow if you can follow the rules then.”
We had rules about the types of toys that could be brought onto our property too. We did not allow toy guns at all, so those were confiscated by me and left for them to take home. And no bikes were ridden without helmets. House rule.
This behavior will only stop if you insist on it. And that’s another way that your kids will learn not to do this at anyone else’s house. They’ll see an adult taking charge. You can show them how to explain rules and set boundaries while still being polite yourself. “Polite” doesn’t mean “spineless” so go ahead and set standards. Kids do better when there is structure.
At the point that they come over and start playing with stuff that you don’t want them on, you should correct them. I would do so by telling them we are not playing on that piece of equipment right now. I have no problem with telling someone else’s child to put our stuff back.
If you hesitate to say something because you are waiting for the parents reaction, you are leaving the neighbor kids the opportunity to tear things up worse. Nip it as soon as you see them hop on.
I think the only concern you have with these children, are your own belongings. If the dad wants to run like crazy trying to wrangle his kids, let him. I wouldn’t tell him anything about control. He must know he lacks it.
Most kids find anything they don’t have to be new and differnt. It is just the, “I want what I don’t have”. My daughter wants to ride a school bus. It makes us laugh every time she asks. I rode the school bus all through my school years, all I ever wanted was a ride to school.
You cannot teach manners to children that are not yours, however, you can insist on respect in your presence or toward you.
Other parents don’t like it when you discipline their kids, it’s true. You know what I say to that? Too bad. When the kids are on my property they follow my rules or they are gone. Period. Never in a million years would I have waited for the father to come and take care of that situation, the kids would have never made it out of the garage. I have had a mother come screaming in my face because I sent her girls away when they were being mean to my daughter. She did not like that I had scolded her mean girls. I told her to get off my property until she also learned some manners.
Had this been my yard those kids would be so afraid of me they’d never walk on my portion of the sidewalk.
I would gladly scream at them if they are in MY yard and coming into MY house to take my things and to trespass on MY property.
To be completely honest my first thought was what the heck is she letting them get away with this crap, she must be more of a timid person than their dad is. She’s letting them do the same thing to her that the parents are letting them get away with.
YOU have the right to be the boss on your property.
YOU have the responsibility to say NO WAY, NO HOW! to these kids when they take YOUR things and come on YOUR property.
When these kids get hurt who’d home owners insurance is going to be sued to pay for the bills? Whose going to have people in their business investigating if neglect allowed those children to get hurt? If they are playing in your little car and turn and drive straight in front of oncoming traffic and die…who’s going to have to pay and maybe even go to jail for child endangerment??
You are, that’s who. You are allowing these children to do things that are not safe.
I know that you’re trying to find your way with your new neighbors but this is beyond anything I’ve ever seen.
I haven’t ever seen anyone allow neighborhood kids to walk all over them like this.
I remember a research paper I read one time.
The hypothesis was that kids on a school playground would wander all over and leave the school grounds if the researchers removed the fences. So they removed it to see what would happen.
The kids gathered in the middle of the playground and played a little bit but mostly didn’t like it at all.
After a while they put the fence back and the kids began playing like they had been before the fence was removed.
Their findings stated that kids need boundaries to feel safe. When they have boundaries they can play and explore and do things they want to do and maybe press/test those boundaries but that’s to make sure the boundaries are concrete and keeping them safe.
Set some boundaries for these kids.
Again, if this was my neighborhood kids I’d have been in their faces the very first time they came in my yard and didn’t go by the same exact rules as my kids. The first time they came in my garage without asking first asking I’d have been in there yelling at them telling them that is never ever allowed. In their face and taking them by the hand and escorting them to their front door to confront their parents.
They’d have known their kids had to mind me or they couldn’t be near me. Period.
Kids at my house get treated like my kids, parents around or not. I say this because we don’t just allow anyone to come over, so the kids and the parents know we will treat them like our own. This means the kids ASK before they get anything (snacks, bikes, toys, etc) they clean up ANY mess they make - even if that means mommy and daddy need to wait at the door for 5 minutes.
I would absolutely tell the children the rules and not feel bad if the dad is right there. The kids just might listen to you more than dad and they may learn to respect your things and property.
I’m not one for scolding other children. However, it becomes a different issue to me when someone is disrespecting my property. I draw a line there and I do say something.
We’ve not had issues like you’re having. It’s been a while since I had a bunch of kids tuning around. One girl purposely broke a scooter of my daughter’s in front of me. Hubby loaded the scooter and took it to her front door and told her dad… She broke it she, can have it.
My driveway goes downhill and especially boys like to see how fast they can come down on bikes, scooters, skates.
Numerous times I have stopped them and told them I won’t clean their bloody body out of the glass when they come through to my formal living area. I’ve said their parents will have to come clean them up and you know as well as I do that they are not allowed to engage in coming down my drive.
One kid was less than 6 and his mom watched him come speeding down the drive on his bike right at my Mercedes that was not yet in the garage. I stopped him. She was upset because in her words " he loves your driveway". I said " then I guess you are ok with replacing any type of damage to my car or other property when he crashes"!
Lastly… one little snot talked back to me when I said I’d let his mom know he was here again when I told him to stop. He said " you can’t prove that". I pointed to a hidden camera and said " yes I can… You might smile in that direction everytime you are here because you’re on camera"".
I hate to be mean but you have to be firm. My next door neighbor is a POS and has no boundaries. My dog treed an opossum and was barking one night about 730. I was trying to get my dog inside. I heard my gate close which meant someone came into my yard. I had a magnum flashlight and as I had it up to swing at the intruder, my neighbor said whoa!! I told him, you don’t come on someone’s property unannounced or you could get killed.
There is a line when boundaries and property are not respected. This dad needs to grow some and be a dad.