My 15 year old daughter has been begging me for weeks to allow her to get her belly button pierced. She of course is using the "every teenager in the world with the exception of her has one" routine. As much as I tried to stop myself I responded by having my mother's words come out of my mouth..."if everyone jumped off of a bridge, would you?"
I just keep thinking it is a bad idea because I just keep feeling like that just helps send the wrong message. The last thing I want is for my 15 year old to be running around pulling up her shirt showing everyone her piercing or trying to make herself look "sexy". The more she argues, the more I have started to doubt my refussing to let her have one. I just keep asking myself if it is really tha big of a deal. If she was asking for a tatoo I would NEVER allow that, is this really any different? Am I making a bigger deal of this that I should? What are your thoughts?
You are right to say NO. Stick to your guns. Tell her she can get one when is 21 if she wants to. She will be an adult then and can make her own choice.
Hi Kimberly. I don't have a teenage daughter. That will be a few years down the road and it's scary to think about what kind of world my 2 children are having to grow up in. And it's only gonna get worse! But my opinion of body piercings is that the only place a female is meant to have their body pierced is their ear lobes. And once at that! I would stick to my guns if I were you. No way is my daughter going to have anything but her ears pierced at 15 years old! She is going to have to live by my rules until she is old enough to be on her own, then and only then will she have a say so about something like that! I do not believe that God intended for us to pierce up our bodies like that! Our bodies are God's temples, after all. And we should treat them as such. The only reason she could possibly have for wanting her belly button pierced is why, because it's suppossed to be sexy? She certainly doesn't need to be showing off her belly button! What next? Nipples? No, I don't think you are making a bigger deal than you should. Just my thoughts on the subject.
Navel piercings can get infected extremely easily. I've known several young women who have had infections from an improperly taken care of navel piercing.
I think 15 is too young, and I think that as her mom you have every right to tell her no way, no how. Stick to your guns, and she'll probably thank you down the line. She might rethink the idea in a few years, she might not, but at least she'll be a little more mature at 18 and more likely to take proper care of a piercing.
Sorry, I think there are dangers to belly button rings and who cares if 'every teenager is doing it' I tried that on my parents & it didn't work on them either, LOL.
And yes, having a belly button ring WILL prompt them to show it off. I can't stand seeing these girls wearing shirts that look like they belong to their 1st grade sisters!! Come on girls, cover it up!! But you have to wear those little tops to show off that ring. I mean what's the point in having it if you can't show it off? And frankly, please no one flame me on this, I just think they make girls luck slutty...TOTALLY personal opinion I know but I just hate the look. Guys are SUCH visual creatures and I don't need their visual focused on that part of my daughter!!
I would tell her that when she's out on her own, supporting herself, she can do it then, but not now.
I got one when I was 20. I had wanted one for years and for the same reason you said - to look sexy. By the time I got mine, I was engaged and the only person I was concerned about looking sexy for was my (now) husband.
My parents used the "when you are 18 you can do what you want" line. They let me pierce my ears as much as I wanted though. I had 4 in my left and 3 in my right.
Something I was thinking about today:
My baby almost climbed onto our wooden back deck today. She is constantly trying to do that. I stop her every time. Would it be horrible for her to go out there? No. But it wouldn't be best for her. She doesn't realize that yet, so I have to put my foot down until she learns better, or is old enough or capable to make her own choices.
Maybe you should let her. Sometime as parents we have to let our kids be their own person. just let her know what not to do. and if she doesnt listen then have it taken out. your only waisting about 20. goodluck.
Been there done that. I don't envy you.
My daughter at 14 wanted one. I told her we would talk about it in a year.
A year came, she didn't forget. I was dead set against it. My problem with her getting a tatoo, piercing, etc. Is that it is permanent. I don't want to be the one she blames, at 35 that she has something she can't get rid of. And the belly button gets infected, and she ends up scarred.
Mine kept bugging me and bugging me. I didn't give in. I stood my ground. As I explained to her. Bugging me will only get me angry, not give in. I also reminded her, that according to state, she will be of legal age at 18, she can then have whatever she chooses. But I don't care what all the other kids and their parents are doing. WE are not doing that. I dont' think it stops at one tatoo or one piercing. I think they will go on and on about it.
First I wouldn't tolerate the bugging. That in itself is not allowed, and let alone, bugging me about something I've already said no to. If you feel that strongly about her not having it done, stick to it. JMO.
I raised my kids, a lot like how I was raised. Dinner every night, never a microwave meal, strict rules of the house. And guess what? My kids are still alive to tell about it.
Hi Kimberly, I was just like your daughter at that age. My mom always told me when I was 18 I could do what ever I wanted.....so I did. But it was kinda like the drink alcohol at 21 thing. It wasn't as fun when I was allowed to do it.
Anyway, I had it in until I was pregnant with my daughter at 24...long time with no problems. Keep you ground and remind her she can do what she wants to when she is grown....I know it will be hard, teenage daughters can wear on there mommas (I know I did), but before you know it this like every other stage in her life will pass....and all to fast...
Good luck, and be strong...
Tashina
Other than the fact that I think they look cheap and tacky...
Have her research exactly HOW they go about peircing the naval and the possible effects of not caring for it properly. (If you can find a video of this, it'd be lovely, especially if she's squemish.) If she can prove to you that she understands the amout of care involved in a naval peircing...if she's prepared for the pain of the peircing itself (I've been told that it hurts A LOT) and that it can take up to a year to completely heal...let her have one for her 16th birthday. But warn her, the first time it gets infected, or you feel that she's showing it off inappropriatly, that it's coming out.
I'd be a little careful about telling any child that they can do as they please when they turn 18. Most of the time, they still have to live in your house and you still support them for a time after they're 18. My son is 18 and has the rest of the school year and the summer before he goes to college. My 16 year old daughter will be 18 her entire Senior year. She is NOT going to be doing whatever she legally is allowed to do.
Of course she wants it to look sexy. All girls that age dream of looking sexy, and if a singer or movie star they admire does it, they want to do it. First, ask her to name names. Get the names of all her friends who actually have rings--I'll bet it's only a couple, and likely the ones with the most lenient moms. And out of the ones she names, probably few or none of them are her close friends. If she only names one or two who actually have it, you'll feel more confident saying no, as you'll know other parents said no, too.
If all her close friends DO actually have one, how does she know? Because they're showing it off. So ask her what good it will do her to have it if she's not allowed to show it.
Also, weeks isn't long enough to beg. Point out that this is really an adult type thing, and that she absolutely can't do anything that serious and permanent until she's thought about it carefully and researched it (I liked the video suggestion) and waited long enough for the idea to sink in completely, which is at least six months or until some significant birthday. She'd hate to do it as a passing fad among her friends.
Is it really that big a deal? Well, it really is about sex, even though she probably doesn't understand why. You might say, if she wants it that bad, she has to have a frank discussion with you about sex and images and what boys are looking at and what it says about her when she uses her body to attract a boy instead of her brain. Then, even if you decide to say yes and let her do it (and no, it isn't the end of the world, and not as bad as a tattoo or an eyebrow or nose piercing, since you can't see it)you'll have given her something to think about when it comes to self image and sex and men. So if you decide to give in, get something for it! Make her listen to you as payment for giving in.
I'm now thrilled that all my 14 year old wants is to dye her hair.
After letting my son pierce his ears when he was 16 and he ended up "gauging" them, I've told my other three kids no body piercings until they're 18. My daughter can have double pierced ears and maybe another piercing in her ear but nothing else anywhere else on her body. There is time enough in their life to make those kinds of decisions when they're an adult. Stick to your guns mom, you're right, there is no reason for a belly button piercing except to show it off and I certainly don't want my daughter showing off her belly.
Sue
I would have to tell her no. If she still wants one when she is 18 she will probably get one. I had one until I got pregnant with my son and I regret it now. Not that it would happen to everyone but mine closed when I took it out while I was pregnant and there is a stretch mark from the top of hole to the bottom of the hole. Sure I thought it was cute while I had it but I would rather not have the stretch mark or the appearance of a peircing that is no longer there.
This is what I did when my now 17yrs old wanted to pierce his ear at 8yrs old & 10yrs.No its not done.He also beg and pleaded to have it done...for weeks..drove me crazy.So I said okay fine you can get it done(his father wasnt pleased about this) for his birthday which was still appr 2mnths away if he didnt bug me about it.He quit asking me knowing it would be his birthday present.Well his birthday came and went with no ear ring..it took appr 4mnth before he remembered he was supposed to get it.When he said something to me about it I said well lets go do it.The answer..NO THANKS I'll think about it..this happened on both his birthday.Neither time did he get it done and to this day he doesnt either.
So tell okay fine you can get it done in 2mnths say or what ever works for you..if she stops asking about it.Take her mind off it.When those two mnths are up..dont say a word to her unless she brings its up.Yes if she still wants it at that time then follow through and have her see what she will go through to get one,what she has to do afterward to not get infection they arent easy to take care of..no piercing is.You just might fined that once she 'gets' what she want she will forget about it and I bet not very many of her frineds do have belly button rings either...good luck..
Shirley B
There are plenty of young girls out there with their belly pierced. I agree with you though about it sending the wrong message. Most piercings do not heal over once you are tired of having them. I have a hole where my ring used to be and I have not worn it in 4 years. Maybe if you let her know that it is stuck with her forever she will be more willing to acept waiting until she is 18.
Will getting a belly ring change who she is? If she is a good girl now why would that change? I know a lot of people that have belly rings it did not turn them into sluts. I don't think you have anything to fear from a belly ring.
This is a really tough one. But here is what I have for you. I got my belly button pierced when I was 15 or 16. My reasons were that some of my friends had them and honestly, I thought it was sexy. It is going to get shown off, there is no point in having one if no one can see it. Those were my thoughts back then anyway. About a year later I got tired of it, a lot of people had them and they weren't the "cool" thing anymore. I took it out and it left this weird looking scar. I decided that I didn't like the scar at all so I went and got my belly button repierced. That time the only reason was that I didn't like how the scar looked. I kept it in until I was 22, I was pregnant and my belly was starting to stretch out. The hole is closed but there is still a scar and I am pretty sure there always will be. I guess that I think it is just a phase. It might be kind of a long phase but still just a phase. I don't regret doing it, I have a live and learn attitude. Hope my story helped you.
I believe you are doing the right thing. There is no reason to have a belly button ring unless you want to show it off to people. I have seen many teenagers after getting a belly button ring begin wearing mid-drifts and such. It is just a phase and will pass.
I wanted one when I was 18 and my father told me that if I got one he would rip it out. Now he really wouldn't have, but the thought scared me enough not to get it.
I would check the laws on piercings of that nature. You may have to be 18 to have it done anyway. My stepdaughter did want a tattoo at that age, but of course couldn't get it that young. We told her that if she still wanted it at 18 we would take her to get it. Just be prepared, at 18 she still did want one and I ended up taking her and getting my first tattoo at the same time. Stand firm with your decision. I don't think any 15 year old needs their belly button pierced - I'd like to hear her reasonings. Good luck!